Bumble Hookup Guide: 10 Tips To Get Laid On Bumble

If you’re here, you probably want to hookup with cuties from Bumble.

But you ran into a problem.

You don’t know how to set up a sex date.

Or maybe you don’t know how to propose a hookup without scaring her off.

And most importantly, is Bumble even a good app for hookups?

Whatever your issues with arranging hookups on Bumble, you’ll find your answer here.

Read on and get:

  • How she went from “hey x” to “I can do it however you like it daddy” (+ examples)
  • The dirty truth on Bumble and hookups
  • 17 Screenshots so you always know what to text
  • How to design a Bumble profile that leads to hookups
  • 4 Copy and pastable Bumble bios that get you laid
  • Why your “unga-bunga” technique doesn’t work
  • And much more…

By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.

#1: Isn’t Bumble only for relationships?

Let me tell you one of the greatest misconceptions circling the internet:

My donger is only 9½ inches long flaccid.

Bumble is for relationships and Tinder is for getting it on.

Like most misconceptions, it has a grain of truth.

On the whole, women on Bumble are indeed looking for commitment rather than a steamy evening under the sheets.

But that trend is far from the rule.

Let me explain why Bumble is good for hookups, by diving inside the mind of a woman.

Suppose you’re single, but looking for a monogamous relationship.

You open up Bumble and see the profile of a gorgeous girl with NO MENTION of monogamy.

One swipe later you’re matched.

She sends you a text, you send her one back.

Before you know it, funny and flirty texts are flying back and forth.

You’re having a great time, but then she sends you this:

I noticed you’re looking for a relationship… I’m not. What do you want to do?

Sidenote: Don’t think the above line is a good technique for setting up a hookup. It’s not.

What do you answer?

Remember, she was really fun.

Do you instantly unmatch her and try your luck elsewhere?

Or do you reply:

You know what, let’s meet up. I want to see if you’re this fun in person

I think we all know the answer to that question, you ol’ horndog.

The point of this thought experiment?

  • Many women who are looking for ‘serious relationships only’ are often in the mood for one-night stands, but simply don’t want to announce their desire for hookups to the world.
  • Even if she joined Bumble looking for commitment, if you’re the fun dude who can make her laugh and feel good, you have a 69% shot at meeting up with her

The amount of ‘serious relationships only’-girls me and the rest of team TexGod have been with counts as a valid study by itself.

And none of us pretended to be boyfriend material.

Now we’ll discuss common pitfalls that keep you from getting laid on Bumble.

#2: Avoid the peasant opener

No woman wants to date a repulsive peasant, and yet so many men go out their way to look like one.

After this tip, you’ll never scare the girls off with your peasantry (read: bad texting habits) again.

So how the heck do you even look like a peasant on Bumble?

Like so (you most likely don’t text as poorly as the example, but there’s a 90% you’re making a similar mistake):

Now I don’t know about you, but when I read those first three texts, I get an image of a medieval restaurant waiter.

And although he may try to start a conversation with me, all I want to say is, “Stop yapping and bring me my giant turkey leg, you nothing.”

That may sound a bit harsh, but this is what our peasant-friend said next:

Yeah…

Now I highly doubt you text like Mister Pleasure Water, but I’m willing to bet you make similar text mistakes that turn her off.

Do you ever do the following?

  • Chit-chat about topics you don’t have a genuine interest in
  • Give compliments at the start of the conversation
  • Use more than 1 emoji every 10 texts?

Yes?

Then I have some important news for you, my dear reader:

You’re hurting your own attraction and cockblocking yourself.

Want to make yourself more attractive? Heck, do you want to make yourself the type of man she wants to sleep with?

  • Don’t talk like you just met her in a bar, that’s too boring for a dating app
  • Don’t give her cute nicknames from the start
  • Don’t use emojis when your message is crystal clear without them

That alone will increase the chances of a hookup.

Want to boost the odds of some evening delight even more?

Understand how she feels and what she wants.

More on that later.

First, another Bumble no-no.

#3: Don’t go unga-bunga

The next tip cannot be overstated, especially in the modern metoo climate:

Do not go unga-bunga.

Back in caveman days, seduction was easy.

(Take this with a grain of salt, I am by no means an evolutionairy sexologist.)

Caveman sees a pretty cave lady?

The caveman walks up to the lady and grabs her by the rear, his animal skin barely containing his one inch rager, and leads her to his cave.

Not exactly subtle.

But I guess it worked or we wouldn’t be here.

Anyway, the caveman approach obviously doesn’t work anymore!

Today, you want to dial down your sexual advances so you don’t scare her off and get banned from Bumble.

Which is exactly what will happen.

TextGod coach Dan got banned after a Tinder experiment where he mass texted his matches a super sexual opener.

Luckily for us, not all of the ladies unmatched him. One helpful lass told him exactly what was wrong with his raunchy line:

So even though our lady friend is attracted to coach Dan’s profile, she doesn’t just want to hook up.

She wants to be wooed first.

In short, women want the whole experience of seduction: from meeting and flirting to bumping uglies.

What’s the texting rule you want to take away from this tip?

Using her words, “work a little for her pussy”.

Slowly raise her emotions and attraction for you until she wants to jump into bed with you.

Now for the final danger that you must evade if you want to see what’s behind her panties.

#4: Never go full meemaw

Of all the dating sins, the next one is best at killing your odds of a hookup.

Because when us guys start to feel comfortable, we tend to go full meemaw.

“What?”

If you’re from the South, you already have an idea of what I mean.

Meemaw is Southern for grandma or auntie.

And what do aunties do?

They lovingly interrogate you about your entire life, while they fill you up with cornbread and hashbrowns.

Perhaps if we could fill our Bumble matches with Southern cuisine, our interrogations wouldn’t scare her off.

Unfortunately, we can’t.

So all we’re left with is this:

Fine if you’re actually her auntie.

But if you’re a grown man trying to flirt?

*shudders*

Awful.

More importantly, firing trivial question after trivial question literally kills her attraction for you.

Going full meemaw is the kryptonite of pussy.

Let me breakdown why:

  • It demands a response from her (and is therefore needy)
  • It doesn’t really serve a purpose besides keeping the conversation going
  • It doesn’t raise her emotions, which according to science is the basis of almost all our decisions

Wouldn’t it be nice to text in a way that’s:

  • Giving and non-needy
  • Leads the conversation to the date, and
  • Triggers her emotions in such a way that she craves meeting you?

Continue to the next tip and that’s exactly what you’ll learn.

#5: The method to get her excited about you through text

Here’s what will lead your Bumble conversations to success and get you the hookups you crave…

Slut!

No, that’s not me judging your sexual desires. (I never judge anyone’s sexuality.)

If anything it refers to myself.

It’s a method that stands for:

Sexualize
Lead
Understand
Tease

In short, S L U T.

If you give your Bumble matches these 4 flavors, she’ll almost definitely want to meet you.

Holy Tip:

Do you find it difficult to come up with your own material?

Say no more.

Check out The 10 Texts That Always Work.

Texts that my team and I use regularly.

And more importantly, texts that we use successfully.

Grab the 10 Texts here.

Because I also have a video on the same subject, I’ll keep it brief.

You want to Sexualize and turn the tables on her.

I bet you tell that to all the guys, player

You want to Lead toward the date by telling instead of asking.

Now you say: “So when are we going to meet up?”

You want to Understand her.

For instance, if she usually writes short novels filled with “hahahs” and emojis, but now only answers with:

🤣

It’s time to switch subjects.

And lastly, you want to Tease her.

Omg. I can’t be with a girl who likes pizza hawaii

For more on the S L U T method, check out the next video. (Yes, the title says ‘Tinder’, but trust me, it works on Bumble).

Now you know the basics of texting, let’s dig into the nitty gritty…

#6: The Bumble profile that leads to hookups

If you’re on Bumble for hookups, the last thing you want to do is have a profile that politely remarks:

“I’m a nice guy with a big heart who just wants to take care of you.”

Obviously, that’s the last thing on your mind. You just want that nightly cardio.

And yet a client of mine had a profile that made him look like a sweet cuddly bear.

The problems he faced?

  • He didn’t get a lot of matches, and
  • The women he did match were all looking for something long term

To put it bluntly, my cuddly client barely seemed fuckable.

He was just too cute.

So how do you look like a stud that leaves no question as to what you want? (The no-pants dance.)

By setting the right expectations with your profile photos.

Whatever photos you upload, they all fit onto a spectrum ranging from ‘nice guy ’ to ‘fuckboi chad’

You want to avoid the extremes and design a profile that leans a bit toward fuckboi.

Here’s why.

  • Too nice and you seem like a human-sized teddy bear
  • Too forward and you seem like a Freddy Krueger sized… Freddy Krueger
  • And if you strike the perfect balance, you’re boyfriend material

So if you want to attract women who want to get it on, you want to look like you’re a gentleman who wants to keep it casual.

That way you’ll be attractive AND trustworthy.

With the theory out of the way, let’s get practical.

Want to look more trustworthy? Have photos of the following:

  • You smiling into the camera
  • You wearing a big cuddly sweater
  • You with a pet
  • You doing a harmless hobby, like cooking or playing the guitar

Want to look more edgy and sexy? Have photos of the following:

  • You looking away from the camera without smiling
  • You wearing clothes with earth tones, perhaps revealing a little bit of your muscular forearms. Be sure to never go shirtless unless it’s normal for the situation, like surfing
  • You showing off your jawline or manly beard
  • You doing dangerous activities, like kickboxing or skateboarding

Once you have the right blend of masculinity and trustworthiness, you should attract the open-minded girls you want.

Next up…

#7: The Bumble hookup bio

Despite your bullet-proof photos, a bad bio can easily sabotage your matches.

So let’s make sure your bio is all that it can be.

First up, don’t scream your intentions from the rooftops.

Yes, I know you’ve seen women be shamelessly direct about their intentions.

But when us men put our dicks cards on the table, we’re labeled creeps.

Double standards?

Absolutely.

A problem?

Not at all.

To get hookups, you don’t need to have an explicit Bumble bio.

Light-hearted and fun usually does the trick. Although a dash of ‘adult’ helps.

Here are a couple of examples that you can rip and paste into your Bumble profile.

Starting with a bio from a cute girl on Tinder.

Not looking for anything serious, just marriage.

It’s unexpected, funny, and leaves a little bit of mystery: “Does she want a relationship after all?”

Now for a slightly more risqué bio:

I like women the same way I like my coffee.

Without other people’s dick in it.

It adds a funny twist to a familiar saying and uses the buzzword ‘dick’ without sounding obscene. And that subtle balance between innocent and mature attracts women from all walks of life.

Note about the coffee bio: Some women may think your ex cheated on you and you’re acting butthurt. Which isn’t a problem, as long your photos show you’re a ‘glass is half full’ type of guy.

How about a fun descriptive bio?

Bacon enthusiast, beard grower, and 4th best spooner of the world.

Or one about your dislikes?

If I don’t reply, I’m probably busy making fun of people who clap after their plane lands.

Did you notice how every bio is incredibly short?

That gives you less room to mess up. Plus, nobody wants to read your life story.

Not sure why the above 4 bios get you hookups?

Simple. All the bios have:

  • A hint of sexual/joshing, which shows you aren’t the stereotypical nice guy
  • A comedic element, so you’re triggering emotions

Plus, they’re short. And makes them quick and easy to read.

When it comes to hookups, your Bumble bio doesn’t need to be magical. It simply can’t be bad.

#8: The opener with the highest response rate

The opener you’re about to learn is a game-changer, your Bumble conversations will go smoother than ever.

Didn’t that promise sound so good that you read a little bit faster?

That’s the power of clickbait.

YouTube is full of it.

“How this ONE LINE shortcircuits women’s brains and makes them want to go home with you”

“How an ordinary 30-year-old slept with 20+ super models”

Such lines are close to irresistible.

You just want to hear the juicy secret!

Hence the name, clickbait. You’re baited into clicking.

We can use the same principle, although toned down, to grab the attention of our Bumble matches.

Yes, I know. Women on Bumble text first.

But even if she sends the first text, that’s no guarantee she’ll reply to your message.

So you want to make your first text impossible to resist with clickbait.

That way they’ll take the bait and send you a text.

Now the game of seduction can begin.

How do you get that far?

Get my Clickbait Opener for free.

Together with 2 follow-up lines and 7 variations of clickbait.

#9: The subtle art of sexualizing

If you want to enter the bonezone, one skill stands out above the rest…

Sexualization.

And as we saw from Mister Pleasure Water’s blunder, you want to dial it down.

To remind you, our bold Tinder bro dropped that bomb after only 3 texts.

Nobody can get away with a sex invite so quickly.

Before we get into anything remotely sexual, we need to do one of 2 things:

Only once emotions are high, or if she brings up X-rated topics is the time right for adult conversation.

Let’s suppose your Bumble match comes from a polite household and waits for you to make the first move.

How do you sexualize once she’s hooked on your texts?

In many ways, but I’ll give you 3.

How to sexualize #1:

Ask her an adult question.

You can keep it relatively tame:

What do you find the most attractive in a man?

Or take it up a notch:

Are you curvy?

That question may seem a little out of the blue. But it works well as a counter-question.

The lady in the next screenshot kept on asking questions, so I fired one back:

As you can tell, she was more than ready to tell me about her curves.

Better still…

Her last line:

What else do you like?

Is a clear sign she’s down for more naughty talk.

How to sexualize #2:

Send her a funny but naughty meme.

And see how she responds.

During Valentine’s TextGod coach Jay had the perfect meme ready.

And because he had a hunch she’d enjoy it, he gave her an opportunity to be cheeky too.

The first photo is the meme. And the second is one of Jay’s ‘favorite places in the world’.

Now you can interpret that last photo in two ways.

  • He’s saying I love the beach
  • He’s saying I love ‘clams’

Now guess how she saw it…

For the slowpokes, she’s saying:

“Where is the photo of your favorite place in the world? I only see ‘subtle’ jokes.”

The takeaway is: girls like to flirt and sexualize too.

How to sexualize #3:

I mentioned it before already, misinterpretation.

The girl above misinterpreted my favorite place in the world. Instead of the beach she saw that I loved ‘clams’.

You can misinterpret her texts too.

My misinterpretation example is in Dutch (curse my bilingual skills!) so I’ll give you some context and translate.

This particular girl lived a few hours away by car and I told her it was a HUGE distance. To which she replied:

Distance is relative 😎

To which I answered:

True. It all depends on what you get

And if you’re as fun in person as you are over text, it’s almost worth it

Yeah, right

Don’t get your hopes up

’Almost’ even haha

Dude!

Don’t get your hopes up? I think you may have a very naughty mind

I’m talking about drinks

And on the conversation went.

Me as the gentleman and her as the maneater.

Armed with the above 3 sexualization techniques, you should be your Bumble girls hot and bothered.

Just don’t go overboard.

A sprinkle is all you need.

#10: A glance into the phone of a maestro

Most professionals like to keep their techniques and strategies a secret, but I like to spread the wealth.

That’s why I’m going to give you a glance into my Bumble conversation from start to finish.

To begin, here’s the cutie in question.

If you can pull your eyes away from her dynamite body, you can see she opened me with:

Hey x

Nothing too crazy, but the ‘x’ definitely implies she’s interested.

Anyway, how would you answer?

If it’s anything standard and dull, like “Hey” or “How are you?”, it’s harming your odds of meeting her.

Here’s what I said:

My initial text doesn’t seem very fun, “You’re at least 50% Irish aren’t you?”.

But that’s because I was setting her up for a joke.

As you can see, I imply her Irish heritage landed her me as her match. #Cocky

She liked my joke. And then dabs on me with her sound logic.

“You swiped me too,” she says.

So I give her a treat by saying that I was lucky to have her as a match too.

What would you reply after her text:

And you did get lucky

It doesn’t lead anywhere new. She essentially repeats my last message.

So that leads you no choice but to dive into uncharted territory.

Because she reacted well to me so far, I feel it’s time for the S of the S L U T method.

Sexualization.

SUPER direct.

So this is make or break time. How does she react?

BINGO! Greenlight, fellas.

So I take it up a notch.

Not sure if she didn’t get the hint, or if she thought I wasn’t up for it. In that case, good burn lady.

I lightheartedly answer her question and lead onto the date. After all, what else is there to say?

Although I expected to already plan the meetup, the conversation stalled.

So I continue to chat the next evening, starting with a normal question for a Friday night.

Here’s where most guys go off course and end up in the friendzone.

When she asks, “You?”

Most guys simply tell the boring truth, because they think they’re already in.

That’s a mistake. If you don’t keep the conversation on course toward the date, you lose emotional momentum.

Based on the pre-midnight texts, I know she’s interested. So I send a text that ticks 3 boxes:

  • I say what I’m up to
  • I tease her “one is almost your baby age”, and…
  • I mention my kingsize and give her a window to show interest

Jackpot. We’re back on schedule!

Because I know she’s on her phone, I reply quickly to hold her attention. And dial up the flirting to 5000%.

If there was any doubt about the date, that’s all gone now.

At this point I’m basically left with two options:

  • Sexting
  • Set the date

You can use your imagination for what happened next.

Now that you’ve seen one of my Bumble convos, I’d love to see one of yours.

Share them in the comments or send me an email.

To help you achieve the success you want, here’s one last gift.

The 10 Texts That Always Work, used by me and team TextGod.

Enjoy your Bumble hookups, bro.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

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