How often should you text a girl you like? This is the answer

If you’re wondering how often you should text a girl… then you’re on the right page.

Multiple times per day? Once per day? Even less? Time to find out.

This is what you get:

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How often should you text a girl?

this is the short answer:

You should text a girl roughly as often as she texts you. This way you are not showing to much or to little interest. Text her a little more often if you get a lot of positive signals. Text her a little less if she isn’t that engaged.

However, there are a lot of subdleties to doing it in a way that sparks her interest and keeps her engaged.

And of course it depends on how long you know her and what your status is.

Down below you’ll find exactly how to do this texting thing right.

How often should you text a girl you just met

There’s a massive opportunity for you when meeting a girl in real life.

Yes, that’s right. I said in real life. So this tip is about girls you met face to face… On a date, or on the street, or in a club… Offline.

Has a girl ever been annoyed with you because of how you texted? Maybe she thought you texted to seldomly. Or your texts were too dry. Or maybe she got annoyed at the irregularity of your replies?

You can prevent this by applying the following:

During the meetup, talk to her about texting. If you’re not the biggest fan of messaging back and forth, then just tell her.

“Hey, just so you know, I’m not much of a texter. So if I seem a bit distant or unexcited it’s just because I’m not often on my phone.”

This way you set the right expectations. She knows exactly what she can expect from you. Resulting in more Positive reactions.

So the answer to the question How often should to text a girl you just met is: Text her as much as you told her you would.

If you didn’t tell her anything, than this is your answer:

You want to text her quick, but not too much. Your goal is to get her to feel positive emotions from you, and to get her on a date.

As soon as the date is set, text her enough to keep her excited. But never text for the sake of texting or getting to know her.

If you meet in for example a couple of days, you might text her every one or two days up to the date. If you are only meeting up in two weeks, you might text her every three days. Every day would be way to needy for such a long time.

Don’t know what to talk about with your girl? Check out this article:

How often should you text a girl at the beginning of dating

So you’ve met a wonderful girl and now the two of you are starting to date. Awesome! Only you’re not sure how often you should text her.

The last thing you want is to spook her with too many texts… or make her withdraw when you send too few texts.

In general, you don’t want to go too hard too soon. Sending a lot of texts during the early dating phase gives off some solid relationship vibes.

If you know that’s what you want, and that’s also what she wants… then by all means, fire away!

But remember:

Women don’t usually want a relationship with a man who wants it even more than her.

She wants to be with a winner. She wants you to be a winner by yourself already. She doesn’t want you to ‘win’ by getting her.

So try not to be overexcited, but don’t go playing games either.

If you just started dating, it’s perfectly normal to text each other every couple of hours.

Want more tips on how to chat with girls on WhatsApp? Check:

How to chat with girls on WhatsApp: 19 tips + 10 examples

How often should you text your Tinder match

After texting and dating Tinder matches for years, I found there’s a best tempo to text them.

Most guys tend to postpone the first text after they have a match. And when they finally sent one and got a reply… They usually wait a while to text back.

Sometimes because they don’t want to seem too available. And they have no clue how often they should text a girl. Most times because they don’t know what to say.

And that’s how most men start messing up straight from the start.

When you get a brand new match you feel a spike of excitement. Guess what: women feel the same way! Use that excitement, bro! Text Tinder matches ASAP. And on Bumble, where women have to send the first text, text back sooner than later.)

It’s so powerful to get a good flow going in the conversation early on.

Of course, this doesn’t only depend on you, but also on her. If she doesn’t text back then you can’t generate that nice back-and-forth flow. But you can at least do your part.

So to give you a rough guideline, try to text her back within the first 3 hours. Later, when the conversation is going well, you can tone it down.

Or maybe you’ll even keep going hard because you’re both enjoying it, at which point you should just propose to meet up!

Want to know how to keep your Tinder conversation going? Check:

Holy Tip:

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How often should you text your girlfriend

”I have no trouble in conversations with my girlfriend but when it comes to texting her I have no clue what to do.”
—Guys with girlfriends

I’ve talked to tons of my readers and coached a good chunk of them. And most guys have a few things in common.

One of those recurring themes is that most guys aren’t big fans of texting. And that’s often a problem.

Why? Because USUALLY, girls enjoy hearing from you just a tad more than the amount you text them.

So here are two pieces of advice:

  • Run into any situation that is weird, funny, exciting, not-everyday-normal? Let her know! Personally, I sent a little Instagram video to my girlfriend of EVERY cute small dog that I run into on the street. Why? I know that they summon a smile on her face and make her unleash a cute iiiiiiii sound. And I can give her that by just whipping out my phone and making a small video. Worth x100. So anytime you run into any situation that could make your girlfriend’s day just a bit better, share it with her!
  • Completely abandon the trial and error approach, and be honest with her. Just tell her how you see texting and asks how she sees it. Ask her, face to face, if she likes to get texted regularly, or is fine with an occasional message. If you are a guy that finds it a massive pain in the ass to text back and forth 20 times per day, then let her know.

If number 2 seems like the better solution for you, then do this IN REAL LIFE. Any serious topics with your girlfriend are discussed face to face.

Until you figure out what to do, don’t be a stranger or an alien.

Does she text you quite often? Then try to hit her up more often as well.

If you get the feeling she’s not much of a texter herself —And hey, those girls exist too! I know many girls that hardly ever text, let alone look at their phone— be considerate and show that you understand where she’s coming from.

Also check out this article:

How much should you text a girl if she’s a friend

Are you talking about normal friends, or friends with benefits here? Either way I am going to keep this short.

Friends with benefits where the relationship is based on the physical: You won’t text her often at all. And 90% of your texts will be to arrange the next unclothed cardio session.

Friends that are friends just like your bros Tim and James, but happen to have a vagina: Again, this totally depends on you and your friend. You don’t text all your friends the same amount, do you?

I have a few friends that I text 300 days a year. And I have a whole bunch of friends I text once every few weeks. Some just once every few months.

As with any friend, the pattern will shape itself, and if that’s not the answer you wanted to hear and you need a solution RIGHT NOW, then go with the approach from last tip. Just talk about it to her next time you see her:

Hey, this might be a bit of a strange question but are you happy with how often we text each other? I’m not the best at sensing these things and I’m not the greatest texter in the world, so I thought I’d just ask you 🙂

Signs you’re texting her too much

You’ve texted a girl back and forth a couple times and then she got quiet. In an attempt to keep getting her texts, you shoot her another one. And maybe another… Congratulations, you’ve officially overtexted her. And it feels bad.

Here are three clear signs you’re guilty of overenthusiastic messaging:

#1: She doesn’t invest (anymore)

Once upon a time you may have gotten cool replies. But right now when your texts asks for investment, it looks like this:

Did anything sweet this weekend?

Not really

She says not really, but honestly even if she just cutely giggled while watching a rerun of Friends, you’d love to know.

#2: One-word answers

You and I, we’ve both had them. The classic short answers:




Until even a smiley is too much and all you get is cold, vast emptiness.

When you get these it’s time to make a blanket burrito of yourself and start rebinding Friends yourself.

#3: She makes you wait

When you like someone even waiting a couple hours can be excruciating.

But any experienced dating soldier knows not to break over a few hours of silence.

To discover everything there is to know about overtexting a girl, click the hyperlinked words, fool!

Signs you’re texting her too little

I’ve got some GOOD news for you right here, right now.

At least if you recognize one of the following signs:

#1: She gets upset over text

About you texting too little.

“Do you even love her bro?”

That’s how she feels.

#2: She complains about it in real life

You know, about you texting too little.

And she still wonders if you even think about her at least once every 69 nanoseconds.

#3: She gets paranoid

If she gets paranoid that you’re seeing other girls, you’re in trouble.

Her logic:

You don’t text her often so you must not think about her often. So you must be thinking of other girls. Or even meeting them because you clearly don’t think of her because you’re not swarming her inbox with hearts and romantic memes.

In all seriousness: if your partner thinks you’re cheating, and you aren’t, then the two of you need to talk about this. The last thing you need is trust issues and an anxious spouse.

BUT, for the good news:

If you text your little lover just a little too little, then a little text from you will cause more than a little excitement. Imagine that the girl you like texts you every now and then, but to you, it feels like it’s just 15% less than you would love. You’ll always be hungry to hear from her, and you’ll feel happy whenever she does bless you with her attention.

It’s a thin line between just too little and really too little.

One creates excitement, the other creates frustration.

Do this if you’ve texted a girl too often and she doesn’t text back

If that’s the case, then lean back and watch this video:

I hope I covered your exact question somewhere in this article, and maybe taught you something extra along the line.

Thanks for thinking along with me. I’ll see you around.

Louis Farfields

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