How Often Should You Text a Girl? Is ‘Everyday’ Yay or Nay?

If you’re wondering how often you should text a girl

…then you’re on the right page.

Multiple times per day? Once per day? Even less?

Time to find out.

This is what you get:

  • How to send the ideal amount of texts to send your crush
  • The first thing you should do before deciding how often to text her
  • 3 Signs you are texting too often
  • 3 Signs you are texting the girl you like too little
  • Why you have to text your Tinder match often at first (and then tone down)

By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.

#1: The REAL question

There’s one question you and I have to answer before I can help you.

You’ve probably just googled something like:

“How often should I text a girl”

And then you came here.

And don’t worry, we will get to that shortly.

But first I have some questions for YOU.

Who is the girl you are texting?

Is she a new Tinder match?

Someone you’re already friends with?

Someone you’re just starting to date?

Some number you found in your phone after a drunk night out?

Is she your girlfriend?!

The context decides everything.

For example, let’s say you have a Tinder date scheduled one week from now.

Then texting her every few hours is going to mess things up.

But texting her just once is also likely to blow your chances.

At the same time, not texting your girlfriend for a couple days might stir trouble. Depending on the kind of relationship the two of you have.

To find out exactly how often to text a girl you like, we need to answer a couple more questions.

Let’s get right to it in the next tip.

#2: How to know how often to text her

To know how often you should text her, you’ve got to go PPP.



Positive reactions

Let’s start with Path.

It’s simply your own path in life.

It means:

You should do your thing as long as you don’t damage others.

Sounds super spiritual, I know.

What I mean is that you shouldn’t mold yourself to others.

One of the core beliefs at TextGod is that you have to be your authentic self.

A feat most men fail to accomplish over text.

Don’t go changing your amount of texts based on what you THINK she likes.

You should text according to your own liking and rhythm.

Next up is Pattern.

The pattern makes perfect sense.

As time passes, a pattern will be set.

If you’ve met a girl you like and you’ve texted her scarcely…

…then she won’t expect more than a few texts.

If you don’t want to create friction, then you should set up a healthy Pattern, by following your own Path.

Once the pattern is set, emotions will get triggered when the pattern is broken.

This can have a positive or a negative effect for you.

Here’s an example of a positive one:

And thirdly, there is Positive reactions.

The more positive reactions to your texts, the higher the odds she likes you.

If, on the other hand, her reactions are short and dull…

…then you might be overtexting her.

Think of more negative replies like:




Let’s look at how you can prevent texting disappointment:

#3: How often should you text a girl you just met

There’s a massive opportunity for you when meeting a girl in real life.

Yes, that’s right. I said in real life.

So this tip is about girls you met face to face…

On a date, or on the street, or in a club… Offline.

Unfortunately, most men don’t utilize this opportunity.

Has a girl ever been annoyed with you because of how you texted?

Maybe she thought you texted to seldomly.

Or your texts were too dry.

Or maybe she got annoyed at the irregularity of your replies?

All of this can be prevented with one simple trick.

(I don’t like the word trick as it implies tricking someone, and that’s the opposite of what we’re about to do.)

So what you do is this:

During the meetup, talk to her about texting.

If you’re not the biggest fan of messaging back and forth, then just tell her.

“Hey, just so you know, I’m not much of a texter. So if I seem a bit distant or unexcited it’s just because I’m not often on my phone.”

This way you set the right expectations.

By telling her about your Path, she knows what Pattern to expect from you.

Resulting in more Positive reactions.

#4: How often should you text a girl in the beginning of dating

So you’ve met a wonderful girl and now the two of you are starting to date.

Awesome! Only you’re not sure how often you should text her.

The last thing you want is to spook her with too many texts…

…Or make her withdraw when you send too few texts.

In general, you don’t want to go too hard too soon.

Sending a lot of texts during the early dating phase, gives off some solid relationship-vibes.

If you know that’s what you want, and that’s also what she wants…

…then by all means, fire away!

But remember: women don’t usually want a relationship with a man who wants it even more than her.

She wants to be with a winner.

She wants you to be a winner by yourself already.

She doesn’t want you to ‘win’ by getting her.

So try not to be overexcited, but don’t go playing games either.

It’s perfectly normal to text each other every couple of hours.

#5: How often should you text your Tinder match

After texting and dating Tinder matches for years, I found there’s a best tempo to text them.

Most men get a huge kick out of getting matches while swiping.

The dopamine shot after hitting an instant match feels so good that you want more of the same.

So you swipe some more.

Swiping is effortless after all.

Looking at your new match’s profile and coming up with a clever icebreaker, that DOES take some effort.

So guys tend to postpone that first text.

And when they finally sent one and got a reply… They usually wait a while to text back.

Sometimes because they don’t want to seem too available. And they have no clue how often they should text a girl.

Most times because they don’t know what to say.

Holy Tip:

Do you often catch yourself staring at your screen thinking:

“What the heck do I reply now?”

If so, I’ve got just what you need.

The 10 Texts That Always Work.

Texts used by team TextGod and me.

Which includes:

– Funny answers to boring questions
– Copy-paste teases to spark emotions
– How to ask her out
– And more

Grab the 10 Texts for free here.

And that’s how most men start messing up straight from the start.

Pay attention to how you feel next time you get a brand new match.

You’ll probably feel quite excited. And you’ll also be LESS excited about that same match the next day.

The initial spike of excitement fades over time. That’s how emotions work, they fade over time.

Now here comes the sickest plot twist of all time:

Women feel the same way!

Absolute magic! Emotions are not exclusive to men. Women have them too.

No, but I used to be a lvl 80 Envenom Rogue back in Cataclysm.

Use that excitement, bro!

Text Tinder matches ASAP.

And on Bumble, where women have to send the first text, text back sooner than later.)

It’s so powerful to get a good flow going in the conversation early on.

Of course, this doesn’t only depend on you, but also on her. If she doesn’t text back then you can’t generate that nice back-and-forth flow.

But you can at least do your part.

So to give you a rough guideline, try to text her back within the first 3 hours. Later, when the conversation is going well, you can tone it down.

Or maybe you’ll even keep going hard because you’re both enjoying it, at which point you should just propose to meet up!

#6: How often should you text your girlfriend

”I have no trouble in conversations with my girlfriend but when it comes to texting her I have no clue what to do.”
—Guys with girlfriends

I could give you an exact amount of texts you should send if you’re dating…

…but if I’d do that…

…then I’d be the worst dating coach ever.

Because I have no clue who you are, I have no clue who your girlfriend is, and I have no clue what your relationship is like.

Honestly, the ideal scenario is this:

You text her exactly how you’d like to text her, and see how she reacts well.

Unfortunately, this is unlikely because I actually DO have a clue what you are like.

I’ve talked to tons of my readers, and coached a good part of them.

And not to take away your personality, but you guys have a few things in common.

One of those recurring themes is that most guys don’t love texting for the sake of texting.

And that’s often a problem.

Why? Because USUALLY, girls enjoy hearing from you just a tad more than they do.

So here’s two pieces of advice:

  1. Run into any situation that is weird, funny, exciting, not-everyday-normal? Let her know! Personally I send a little Instagram video to my girlfriend of EVERY cute small dog that I run into on the street. Why? I know that they summon a smile on her face and make her unleash a cute iiiiiiii sound. And I can give her that by just whipping out my phone and making a small video. Worth x100. So anytime you run into any situation that could make your girlfriend’s day just a bit better, share it with her!

Forwarding memes. Easy and effective.

  1. Completely abandon the trial and error approach, and be honest with her. Just tell her how you see texting and asks how she sees it. Ask her, face to face, if she likes to get texted regularly, or is fine with an occasional message. If you are a guy that finds it a massive pain in the ass to text back and forth 20 times per day, then let her know.

If number 2 seems like the better solution for you, then do this IN REAL LIFE. Any serious topics with your girlfriend are discussed face to face.

Until you figure out what to do, don’t be a stranger or an alien.

Does she text you quite often? Then try to hit her up more often as well.

If you get the feeling she’s not much of a texter herself —And hey, those girls exist too! I know many girls that hardly ever text, let alone look at their phone— be considerate and show that you understand where she’s coming from.

#7: How much should you text a girl if she’s a friend

Are you talking about normal friends, or friends with benefits here?

Either way I am going to keep this short.

Friends with benefits where the relationship is based on the physical: You won’t text her often at all. And 90% of your texts will be to arrange the next unclothed cardio session.

Friends that are friends just like your bros Tim and James, but happen to have a vagina:

Again, this totally depends on you and the friend. You don’t text all your friends the same amount, do you?

I have a few friends that I text 300 days a year.

And I have a whole bunch of friends I text once every few weeks. Some just once every few months.

As with any friend, the pattern will shape itself, and if that’s not the answer you wanted to hear and you need a solution RIGHT NOW, then go with the approach from last tip. Just talk about it to her next time you see her:

Hey, this might be a bit of a strange question but are you happy with how often we text each other? I’m not the best at sensing these things and I’m not the greatest texter in the world, so I thought I’d just ask you 🙂

#8: Signs you’re texting her too much

You’ve texted a girl back and forth a couple times and then she got quiet.

In an attempt to keep getting her texts, you shoot her another one.

And maybe another…

Congratulations, you’ve officially overtexted her. And it feels bad.

Here are three clear signs you’re guilty of overenthusiastic messaging:

#1: She doesn’t invest (anymore)

Once upon a time you may have gotten cool replies. But right now when your texts asks for investment, it looks like this:

Did anything sweet this weekend?

Not really

She says not really, but honestly even if she just cutely giggled while watching a rerun of Friends, you’d love to know.

#2: One-word answers

You and I, we’ve both had them. The classic short answers:




Until even a smiley is too much and all you get is cold, vast emptiness.

When you get these it’s time to make a blanket burrito of yourself and start rebinding Friends yourself.

#3: She makes you wait

When you like someone even waiting a couple hours can be excruciating.

But any experienced dating soldier knows not to break over a few hours of silence.

When the silence is tempting you.

To discover everything there is to know about overtexting a girl, click the hyperlinked words, fool!

#9: Signs you’re texting her too little

I’ve got some GOOD news for you right here, right now.

At least if you recognize one of the following signs:

#1: She gets upset over text

About you texting too little.

“Do you even love her bro?”

That’s how she feels.

#2: She complains about it in real life

You know, about you texting too little.

And she still wonders if you even think about her at least once every 69 nanoseconds.

#3: She gets paranoid

If she gets paranoid that you’re seeing other girls, you’re in trouble.

Her logic:

You don’t text her often so you must not think about her often. So you must be thinking of other girls. Or even meeting them because you clearly don’t think of her because you’re not swarming her inbox with hearts and romantic memes.

In all seriousness: if your partner thinks you’re cheating, and you aren’t, then two of you need to talk about this. The last thing you need is trust issues and an anxious spouse.

BUT, for the good news:

If you text your little lover just a little too little, then a little text from you will cause more than a little excitement. Imagine that the girl you like texts you every now and then, but to you it feels like it’s just 15% less than you would love. You’ll always be hungry to hear from her, and you’ll feel happy whenever she does bless you with her attention.

It’s a thin line between just too little and really too little.

One creates excitement, the other creates frustration.

#10: You’ve texted a girl too often and she doesn’t text back

If that’s the case, then lean back and watch this video:

I hope I covered your exact question somewhere in this article, and maybe taught you something extra along the line.

Thanks for thinking along with me. I’ll see you around.

Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

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