How to Ask a Girl Out on Tinder: 8 Simple Steps + Examples

Asking a girl out on Tinder can feel intimidating.

But it’s easier than you think. In this article, You’ll get some of my best Tinder texting tips on how to ask a girl out on Tinder and get a date most effectively.

If you prefer watching videos, check out this special video I made:

In this article:

• 1. When to ask a girl out on Tinder: Look for an emotional high
• 2. Act like a prize
• 3. Keep the date simple
• 4. Give your plans a fun twist
• 5. Give multiple options
• 6. Don’t use the word ‘date’
• 7. Make asking her out a fun experience
• 8. Check in after asking her out
• How to get a date on Tinder in 4 steps
• What do you do when you ask her out and she says no?
• Summary

More...

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

1. When to ask a girl out on Tinder: Look for an emotional high

You should always look for this one thing when asking her out. Strong, positive emotions.

Most guys go wrong because they don’t know what to look for. So they drag out conversations for far too long. The trouble is that while she may have had fun chatting with you at the start, she’ll typically lose interest once she feels you’d rather be her pen pal than lover.

That’s why you must act when she’s ready to meet you. When’s that? When your Tinder match is enjoying talking to you.

How do you recognize she’s having a good time? By paying attention to the next signs.

• Lots of “hahahas” or “lols.”
• She’s using plenty of emojis and occasionally hearts your messages.
• She’s asking you questions.
• She double-texts you.
• She compliments you.
• She texts you back relatively quickly.

For more details, check out my video:

 

2. Act like a prize

Here’s how you get more women to say yes when you ask them out. Act like the prize.

Most guys are afraid of rejection and that keeps them from popping the question. But this insecurity is working against them. It gives the impression that they lack self-esteem. And if they’re unsure of their worth, why should she think differently?

Once she feels you lack a healthy sense of self-worth, she’ll expect you to be guilty of all kinds of unattractive behavior. Such as being dependent, jealous, and afraid to express your true needs and opinions out of fear of rejection. Yuck.

So how do you come across as someone she wants to be with? Act like a prize that she’d love to win.

Be confident when you ask her out. Assume she likes you and is already writing in her diary about how much she can’t wait for you to ask her out on Tinder.

Let me give you some examples:

Wack: “Do you want to maybe get coffee sometime?”
Good: “Let’s grab a coffee this week! Does Wednesday or Thursday evening work for you?”

Wack: “Would you want to go out with me?”
Good: “I’d love to meet up, when are you free to grab mini donuts and speedwalk a park?”

Keep this in mind. Acting like the prize doesn’t mean you’re going to be arrogant or douchey. Girls hate that. It just means you’re going to feel confident when asking her out. You deserve her. Just like chocolate deserves peanut butter.

3. Keep the date simple

This may sound like a bad idea, but I guarantee it’ll get you more success with women. Keep your dates simple.

Many guys feel the need to impress their Tinder match by going crazy over the top. Taking her to dinner or the movies, going hiking (dafuq, do you think she wants to spend 4+ hours with a total stranger on a mountain?), inviting her to a museum, work party, or karaoke night.

The result? She feels a lot of pressure to have a good time with you. And because of that pressure, she likely won’t. To have the best dates, you want your Tinder match to be as comfortable as possible. This means low-stakes activities.

Suggest a chill activity for your first Tinder date. Something that can be over in 20 – 30 minutes, but can also be extended if you like.

Some suggestions:

• Coffee and a park walk.
• Grabbing gelato.
• Appetizers and a round of cocktails.
• Short picnic at the beach.

That being said, you CAN still do special dates. Just know that it’s risky when you’re not sure how well the two of you get along. For more great Tinder date ideas, check this article: 23 First Tinder Date Tips to Make a Fantastic Impression

4. Give your plans a fun twist

Here’s how you can make even simple dates sound more exciting. Give your traditional date idea a unique twist.

Doing something basic on a date, like grabbing a coffee or going for a walk, is totally fine.But it can easily seem a little dull if introduced in a straightforward way.

Especially if it’s a date she’s done before. To make the idea and meet up more exciting, it’s smart to add a little spice. Ramp up those scoville units a bit, baby!

• “I know this amazing place for coffee that also operates as a used bookstore.”
• “Let’s grab gelato, and then walk the park casually searching for cute dogs and petting them.”
• “How about joining me on Saturday for a cocktail or seven?”

Normal, low-pressure date ideas, with just a hint of something interesting, are much more fun to say yes to.

5. Give multiple options

This is one of the most common mistakes when asking a girl out on Tinder. Suggest one day for the date. This is something that I’ve seen happen a bajillion times.

Guy suggests only one day and she can’t make it, so she turns it down. Even though she still likes him, the soft rejection does hurt the vibe of the conversation.

He still feels confident, so he suggests another day. But she’s busy again and has to turn him down. Now the dude doesn’t really know what to do and the conversation dies out. Sayonara, hot Tinder match.

How do you prevent all this bad stuff from happening? Suggest two calendar dates for her to choose from.

This gives her more options to say yes when you ask her out. Now, if she can’t make either, then you can send her a nudging text, like this:

• “This is the time where you tell me when you are available, you fruit cup ;).”
• “All good, what are some days that would work on your end?”

6. Don’t use the word ‘date’

Using this one word scares women off from going out with you. Date. Date is a loaded word that’s associated with serious intentions. Even if you’re both open for something long-term, it can still feel a little heavy and cause unnecessary pressure.

It might not be a dealbreaker, but it’s not ideal either. So stay away from the word date (or worse, romantic date 🤮) when asking her out.

Instead, ask girls out on Tinder by inviting them out for a fun activity.

• “There’s a cat cafe that I’ve been dying to go to. We should go!”
• “Let’s grab tacos this week. I need to critique your guac to pico ratios.”
• “Wine, flaming hot takis, and people watching on Sunday?”

7. Make asking her out a fun experience

If your Tinder date proposal is fun, your Tinder crush is more likely to say yes.

Sometimes people are busy and they can’t meet on the days you suggest. Which is fine, everyone’s busy. And there are all sorts of questions about time, where to meet, day to meet, is your adorable kitty who I need to meet coming, etc.

So sometimes, when you’re planning the Tinder date invitation, the conversation becomes very business-like. That’s a bummer because it kills the excitement she has for meeting up with you.

Never let planning get in the way of a good vibe.

• “How’s Monday or Tuesday to go whale watching? And bring a raincoat, I tend to drool a bit when I see those Belugas.”
• “Let’s meet at Steve’s Jazz Bar for 6. And worst case we hate it, leave a SCATHING review on Yelp, and go next door instead for margaritas.”
• “[Her Name], pencil me in for Friday or Sunday. We’re getting Fondue. Lactose-intolerance be damned.”

Fun, simple, while still keeping a good vibe.

8. Check in after asking her out

Making this mistake will cost you your Tinder date. Forgetting to check in.

I see this far too often. A cool dude asks the girl out, they make plans, but the date is a few days to over a week away… Nothing wrong with that, but you HAVE to check-in.

If you don’t, she’ll start questioning if you’re still interested and if the date is on. This kills her excitement and will probably lead to her making other plans or just canceling altogether.

Try and roughly stick to the same texting pattern as before.

Now, there’s no need to exchange more than one text per day, but that’s okay. It could even be less, as long as there’s still good vibes between the both of you. And definitely check in on the day of the date.

This lets her know the date is still on and that you’re still interested.

• “Yo [Her Name], see you later. If I beat you there I’ll grab us some seats.”
• “Morning! Looking forward to seeing you later. Can’t wait for that spicy chicken dish you were talking about.”

How to get a date on Tinder in 4 steps

Here’s a simplified version of asking your Tinder crush on a date. This isn’t a hard rule, but most interactions over Tinder will roughly follow this sequence.

Step 1: Get her interested

Before she’s interested in seeing you in real life, she wants to know if you’re any fun to be with. She doesn’t need to know your life’s story. She just needs to know that you’re fun and enjoyable to talk with.

What does that mean for you?

• Show her that you’re not afraid to flirt and playfully push her away a little.
• Show excitement. Show that you’re enjoying yourself with her.
• Be confident. Show her that you value yourself.

Step 2: Make her feel safe with you

It doesn’t really matter how hot and fun you are… she won’t meet you unless she feels safe enough. And that comes from trust.

So here are a few ways to build trust on Tinder.

• Ask questions. A mix of personal and fun ones are best.
• Share personal, everyday things. This creates more familiarity.
• Speak in terms of ‘we’ and ‘us.’ Creating togetherness makes you feel closer, even though you aren’t (yet).

Step 3: Get her excited about meeting you

Having a good time over chat might be enough for her to want to meet you. But subtly hinting you desire her sexually is what really sets off fireworks.

Now, that doesn’t mean you’re going to be talking about your meat stick or saying vulgar things (you still keep it classy). But little hints of sexualizing your conversation go a long way to making your conversation more exciting.

Here are a few ways to sexualize your convo before asking her out on Tinder.

• Using words with both a sexual and non sexual meaning.
• You can misinterpret things she says into something sexual. Like saying she’s hitting on you if she gives you a compliment.
• Use more sexual language. Nothing raunchy, but words like “that’s hot” or “damn, kindof turned on now hearing you talk about your pokemon card collection.”

3 Safe Ways to Arouse a Woman over Text

Step 4: Ask her out via text

This is the moment she’ll grant you all your hopes and dreams or crush your heart like squeezing a raspberry.

Once you’ve reached the point where the vibe is good, ask her out using one of the texts we’ve covered in this article.

And if she says no…well, time to jump off a bridge I guess. Jokes, stay alive my friend. We’ll cover what to do if she says no right now.

What do you do when you ask her out and she says no?

Here’s what to do if she says no when you ask her out. It’s never fun when a girl rejects your Tinder date proposal, but it’s not the end of the world.

You probably still have a shot. After all, most girls won’t talk to a guy unless she’s somewhat interested in meeting him. So be cool if she isn’t ready to go out with you. Don’t take it personally and voice your frustration or act butthurt. Instead, be understanding.

It may be she’s busy, has other plans, or her goldfish named Jerry just passed away so she needs some time to grieve. If she says no, here are some texts that show you’re unphased and understand the situation.

• “No worries. 🙂 I’ll check in with you next week and we can plan something then. Sound good?”
• “(Psst, this is where you tell me when you’re free 🌚)”
• “I’m demoting you to girlfriend number 4 now. I had such high hopes too :(“

Summary

Asking a girl out on Tinder doesn’t have to be scary.

Just remember to keep the good emotions flowing, keep your dates simple, and make planning the logistics fun.

Yes, there are things you have to do in your Tinder conversations to get to the point of asking her out, like making her interested, slightly sexually excited, and safe.

Because nobody wants to go on a date with someone they aren’t interested in.

And if she isn’t interested enough, she’ll say no to getting together.

That being said, I have a little gift for you that will help increase those odds of her saying yes when you ask her out on Tinder.

My TextGod Toolkit. These instruments of Tinder seduction are only for those who are ready to be buried in an avalanche of hot Tinder dates.

Inside, you’ll find my 10 Texts That Always Work, my Clickbait Opener that has a close to 169% response rate, and my most powerful technique: the Personality Slice.

You can get all three by hitting the big button below, and you’ll find more and more women saying yes when you ask them out on a Tinder date.

Enjoy.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

Get my best stuff for FREE!

The Clickbait Opener

Get the highest response rate of my 40 best openers

10 Texts That Always Work

Stop worrying about what to say. Steal my lines instead!

The Dating Profile Checklist

Fill in the blanks, improve your profile, get more matches

The Personality Slicing Seminar Recordings

My secret method to get any girl craving your attention

Yes, give me your stuff!