You know an incredible girl…
…but she might have friendzoned you. And it sucks.
In this article, I will tell you how to get out of the friend zone through text.
This is what you get:
- 3 Friend zone sins you have to stop doing RIGHT NOW
- The biggest misconception friendzoned guys have (+ a text to counter this)
- What you and an F-117 Nighthawk have in common (and how it cockblocks you)
- A screenshot example of friendzone-immune texting
- My 5 step plan to escape the friendzone and never enter it again
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
I also made a video on the topic. These 6 texting signs will tell you if you’re in the friendzone:
Being in the friend zone can feel like hell on earth. And once you’re in hell you’re meant to burn for all of eternity… or are you? In this article I will tell you why you ended up being friendzoned. And how you can get out with these 5 simple steps:
- Understanding WHY you’re friendzoned.
- Prevent these mistakes
- Your first text out of the friendzone
- Sexualizing (in a non-creepy way)
- Asking her out
#1: Three Reasons why you’re friendzoned
I’m sure you’ve started reading this article all excited to find a way to get out of that damned friend zone.
Maybe you’re hoping for some texts to make things work with the girl you like.
Good. We’ll get to all of that in just a minute.
First I want to ask you something:
Ever heard of my main man Simon Sinek?
He’s that one smart guy that once said:
He’s also the guy that wrote the bestselling book “Start with Why”.
And that’s exactly what I want you to ask yourself.
It’s 100% impossible to leave the friend zone if you don’t have a clear answer to this question.
You need to understand precisely WHY she put you there.
And once you know why, you can work towards the solution.
To help you on your way, I’ll give you three of the most common reasons.
You’re not flirty
When you’re not being flirty over text, there is not much else left to but… boring.
And although you’ll make her eyes heavy, you can’t bore her into sleeping with you.
Guys often have friendzoney convos over text about “How her day was? 🙂 🙂 :)”.
I know you mean this in a friendly way, but it just doesn’t spark the right feelings.
And as an online dating coach, I’ve heard every possible excuse from clients as to why they don’t flirt.
“That’s just not who I am.”
“I don’t want to be a creep and get a negative reaction.”
“I feel like a douche when teasing and touching her.”
And frankly, I don’t care why you don’t tease.
If you want to avoid the friendzone, you tease.
You don’t need to be a douche to tease, it can be as simple as:
The fact of the matter is that teasing results in her FEELING things.
And without tickling her emotions, you’ll never win her heart.
More on teasing and exactly how to do it, further down the article!
You’re a stealth aircraft
I have no idea what you look like, but I’ll try describing your appearance anyway.
If I’m not mistaken, you look something like this:
Is this you by any chance?
It’s not you?
Well, it behaves pretty damn similar to you.
This plane is the F-117 Nighthawk.
I’m not sure what the F stands for, but I’m pretty sure it’s ‘Friendzone’.
Because both you and this aircraft fly under the radar.
The airplane is undetectable by radar.
And you are hiding your true intentions.
Because you’d love to date her or even be her boyfriend…
…but you’re being the friendliest, most predictable friend she can have. In hopes that one day she’ll finally see the light.
Finally, she will notice what a nice and great guy you are.
You’ve always been there for her!
I put this meme here because it’s funny, not because it’s true.
Like a little puppy. Always by her side, never having even barked once.
This is probably the #1 shortest route to the friendzone.
You don’t have to directly tell her that you want to take her to bed…
…but your action should sub communicate that message.
There’s nothing more attractive than a guy who knows what he wants, and goes after it.
In plain sight. No under the radar ninja stuff.
You don’t want her, you NEED her
There’s a massive difference between the two.
It’s subtle, but this will make the difference between flirty conversation, and being like a black hole of dark, needy matter.
When a guy and a girl are getting to know each other and one of the two NEEDS the other.
It communicates that this person’s life is incomplete.
Without their crush’s company, they just can’t live on.
This is something that can be a huge turn-on when your crush already loves you. But not sooner.
Your neediness will affect your behavior. You’ll change every little thing you do in order to get her approval.
And guess what?
Women have a 6th sense that spots this neediness.
And it’s about as attractive to her as your worst poop ever after it’s been in the blazing sun for a few hours.
Neediness is the devil.
Instead, you want to be carefree around her. Much like Austin Powers and his playful attitude in the next short clip:
Now let’s look at how these friendzone behaviors manifest over text.
#2: These type of texting mistakes put you in the friend zone
You just learned what real-life behaviors placed you into the friendzone.
The second step is to see what texting behaviors are labeling you as “a friend”.
I’m now going to show you 3 screenshot examples of friendzone disasters.
Look at them, feel the awkwardness, the cringe, or even the disgust…
…and learn from them.
Realize why they are everything you should stay away from if you want to stay out of the friendzone.
We’re going to focus on the mindset these guys have.
And why this mindset has no other option than to get friendzoned.
Buckle up, here we go! Someone sent me a Bumble conversation that went like this::
What would you say, dear reader, when your match says she wants to talk some more before handing out her Instagram?
Honestly, there are at least 69 good replies.
Anything ranging from
Some guys however, have such messed up ideas about dating, themselves, and women, that this ‘rejection’ is all it takes to go off.
The girl simply doesn’t feel comfortable enough to share her Instagram. A collection of photos revealing a lot about her life.
The way I interpret that is like this:
“Wow, that’s actually pretty cool that she takes this seriously. Most girls throw their IG handle around in hopes to get more followers. This girl doesn’t want that external validation. She’s actually hoping to meet someone she really connects with.”
And that’s a perfect mindset to have if you want to get to know this girl, instead of getting friendzoned, ignored, or blocked.
But this guy makes all sorts of mind-bending assumptions.
He’s pretty much saying this:
“I don’t fuck with women who are aware and suspicious enough to not let me get away with shady shit”
Which we can summarize into:
“I don’t fuck women.”
If you’re a guy that often gets stuck in the friend zone, then you likely belong to one of two categories.
Firstly, there are the guys who I described earlier: the ones that don’t show intentions, don’t flirt, and are needy.
And there are the guys that feel overly entitled.
They feel as if girls OWE them. For all sorts of delusional reasons.
I’ve got a prime example for you.
This guy went on a date with a girl, probably displayed all sorts of niceguy behavior, and then got friendzoned. Which he does not deal with very well:
As stated earlier: women usually have a 6th sense to spot these guys, and then maneuver their way around them.
That being said, if your Tinder about me text looks anything like this next one, it’s time to change it.
In general, anyone calling themselves a nice guy tends to be the opposite.
The past three screenshots are all extreme examples.
I realize that you’re not likely similar to these guys.
But if you know of yourself that you tend to play it safe when texting, then check out my article on being your authentic self over text and making her love you.
Enough talk about WHY you got friendzoned.
Time to see what we can do to get you out of that hellhole.
#3: Your first text out of the friendzone
After reading this tip, you’ll know about the exact system I use to NEVER get friendzoned.
But first I have to tell you something that you won’t like to hear.
See, I can tell you exactly how to text and what to text.
But if you’ve royally screwed up in real life, then no text can help you.
If you’ve been an absolute lapdog ever since you met her, then changing the way you communicate won’t destroy the friend zone castle you’ve spent years building.
There is no online fix for an offline problem.
If you came here to get a couple copy paste texts to instantly fix your chances with that one girl that has already friendzoned you, and you’re now annoyed that I’m not giving you that…
…then feel free to close this tab and go elsewhere.
Anyone promising you a quick fix is a liar.
And anyone jetting out of here after hearing there is no quick fix, will be friendzoned OVER AND OVER in the future.
Time to look the truth in the eyes and secure yourself a lovely future.
Good. Then let’s get to it!
Now that all quitters and pessimists have left, I can tell you that there is hope.
See, you likely should have been more direct towards your crush.
You should have spoken louder and more clearly.
You should have teased.
But that is exactly what you’re going to start doing from now on.
And we’re going to start with any friendzoned guys #1 weakness.
Not only do I have a mindset for you to use, I even have copy pastable templates you can use in any situation.
And once we’ve covered teasing, I’m also going to give you two more tools.
Enough talking, check out this video below to discover my templates to tease her with…
…and some juicy screenshots!
#4: From Friend Zone to Friend-With-Benefits (READ THIS!)
The next step is the scariest for most guys, and the one where you really messed up.
Follow the tips I’ll give you right here and now to make sure you don’t mess up, but bathe in sexual glory instead..
Because once you learn to sexualize like a TextGod, your crush will sooner friendzone Brad Pitt than you.
Let’s look at a conversation of mine.
Context: I matched this girl on Bumble, texted in true OTTG (my texting system) fashion, and then we moved to WhatsApp. At the moment on the screenshot we are talking about breakfast. Not really the most sexual topic.
And that’s exactly my point.
Friendzoned guys will never make anything sexual. As a result, they live quiet lives of romantic desperation.
If you want to escape the friendzone of that one special girl, then you need to learn how to sprinkle in sexuality.
So let’s look at a screenshot example of this.
A couple remarks:
She used the word ‘force’. Maybe this primed me because of the recency effect. Either way, shortly after she texts:
She has to, as if she has no choice. She’s forced.
What a great cross she is giving us here, bro.
That simple text alone can make the difference between friend zone and bone zone.
It’s a text no niceguy would have ever sent.
He would have said something like:
The last text will seem nice, but in reality 99% of girls don’t like a suck-up.
And I know, my dearest reader, that right now it doesn’t feel natural to you to make your convos more sexual.
It doesn’t feel like YOU to text stuff like this.
And that’s normal.
Because right now it ISN’T like you.
And that’s exactly what gets you friendzoned in the first place.
Let me guess:
Part of you is afraid your text is disrespectful to her?
That she doesn’t like being told something like this?
A common fear among men.
And if those men were right, then she wouldn’t join me in sending ambiguous texts:
It’s a vile misconception that girls are less sexual than men.
If anything, try it and see likes your indirect sexual remarks, rather than assuming she doesn’t.
Polarizing texts that evoke emotions are the key to escape the friendzone.
For instant and free access to 10 texts that my coaches and I regularly use just click here and I’ll send them to you right now.
To top it off, we could have made an ambiguous statement when she said:
Once you learn how to think sexual, really anything she says becomes your wingman.
It’s time to talk about asking her out.
#5: Ask her out
Time for the fifth and final step to make her see you in a romantic way.
You’re going to ask her out.
Beware: this process takes time.
You can’t implement my first 4 steps in one day and then ask her out.
In your crush’s mind you have a ‘FRIEND’ tattoo on your forehead.
When your teasing game sucks balls.
If over time you avoid the mistakes that put you there in the first place, then it’s like you’re laser-removing the tattoo.
That’s the first step of how out of the friend zone through text.
But as you know, or don’t know, you can’t get a tattoo removed in just one session.
And first, the laser wound needs to heal.
So it’ll take time to get that horrible FRIEND tattoo removed.
And then once it’s not visible anymore, you still need to take care of the skin!
That part can’t be done just by understanding WHY you got friendzoned, and preventing past mistakes.
The balming of the skin is done by teasing.
And once the skin is fully healed and ready to get inked once more…
…you sexualize the get a big phat BOYFRIEND tatted right in the middle of your gorgeous forehead.
Exactly how you do that, is something you will find out in this video:
Once you’ve seen the sort video above, we can talk about damage reduction.
Coming straight at you in the next tip:
What to do when she doesn’t like you back?
There’s hope at the end of the tunnel, in just a second I’ll give you a psychological principle to work with.
But first there’s a rough part…
…and for many of my readers, this will be harsh reality.
Not every brave man that looks up how to get out of the friend zone through text will prevail.
Many of our comrades will fall.
If you don’t complete the 5 steps properly and over enough time, then your crush will be shocked by the new version of you.
And then there’s only one thing left to do.
And that’s taking distance.
Let me ask you a question about desire here.
Here’s the definition:
verb (used with object), de·sired, de·sir·ing.
to wish or long for; crave; want.
Fair enough. You knew that.
But have you ever wondered what the main ingredient of desire is?
The one thing that desire needs in order to exist?
Now you might be thinking:
“Something that you really want?”
And sure, that’s true.
But once that thing you desire is there, what is needed in order to crave it?
D i s t a n c e
You can only desire something when you don’t have it.
That means your crush can’t desire you when you’re readily available to her at any given moment.
So as tough as it sounds, once you’ve tried changing your friendzone spot into a romantic spot, and she has denied you this…
…you need to take distance.
(Or agree to be forever nothing more than a friend.)
And once you you’ve created distance…
…Work on yourself!
Become a better version of yourself!
And I’m not saying that right now you are not a guy worthy of love.
That’s impossible for me to judge.
But what I do know is the following.
You can become a better version of yourself. Always.
And I can also tell you that there’s not much more attractive and seeing a man evolve into a bigger and better man.
And once life makes the two of you cross paths again, your odds will be better than ever.
Should you just confess your feelings for her?
If you are really asking yourself this question…
…then I already know more about your situation than you think.
Because if you’ve been asking yourself this question, then I know the following:
- You have probably presented yourself as a friend
- Or as a friendly colleague or classmate
- But never as a potential boyfriend.
And that’s why she never got the impression that you like her that way.
And that’s an issue.
Because attraction isn’t created in the moment of confessing it.
“Hey, I really like you. I like you more than a friend.”
This sentence in itself doesn’t create any feelings. I’m all for honesty. But confessing your hidden emotions usually creates a heavy atmosphere.
Besides, it’s often a long shot.
It’s like throwing tomato and cucumber seeds on the driest ground ever and hoping for them to blossom.
It simply won’t happen.
So the answer is no.
No, you should not just confess your feelings to her.
At least not if you are friendzoned or have gotten no indications that she likes you too.
What you need to do is follow the 5 steps that I described in this article.
You need to turn that desert into an allotment.
And only once that’s done are you allowed to throw your confession of feels at her.
That was a lot of words on a very sensitive subject.
I hope this helps you, bro. I really do.
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