I know how frustrating it is when you start texting with someone you like…
…and suddenly the conversation just DROPS DEAD.
And you have no idea why.
But don’t worry, this article is just what you’ve been looking for.
It will answer the dreaded question: how to keep a Tinder conversation going.
Here’s what you get:
- 15+ Screenshot examples so you always know what to text
- Important: Understand why she doesn’t text back
- Keeping the convo going will be easy when you copy my lines and questions
- The 3 Deadly TinderSins
- How you get her to start a conversation
- My 10 texts that always work (free download right below these bullets)
- The #1 way to make her look forward to the date.
And a lot more… Leggo!
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
The #1 requirement to avoid the Friendzone
Literally EVERYONE hates the friendzone
Except that little weirdo from the TV series Ozark, who kills animals and cuts them open. He could use a friend.
It surprises me how many people hate being labelled as a friend over and over again. Yet they don’t know the first rule to avoid the friendzone.
Imagine you’re learning to play soccer.
You master the basics.
You can give some decent passes, you control the ball pretty well, and you can even outplay a couple guys…
What’s the point if you can do all this but when you get close to the goal, you don’t shoot to score?
Then you might as well shoot the ball into your own goal.
And that’s exactly the first problem on Tinder.
Always keep in mind that the goal is to work towards a DATE.
It’s a healthy question to regularly ask yourself during conversations.
“Am I working towards a date?”
With this question in the back of your mind you’ll at least know where you’re going with the conversation.
Great, now you have direction.
Now we will look at how you can make sure you’re not the only one who keeps the text conversation going:
The Tinder conversation trick to make her do all the talking
In a bit I’ll show exactly you what you’re doing wrong.
All small and big things that kill your conversation.
Get ready and hold on to something. Because I’m going to give you a trick to automatically keep her talking, without much effort on your side.
Raise your hand if that might interest you. 😉
It is the simple (but effective) Tinder trick to adjust your profile.
There are some good ways to adjust your pictures and profile description in a way that girls just NEED to react to you.
And those ways, my dear, you can find thoroughly explained in my Tinder Profile Tips article.
Avoid the Three Deadly Sins
Deadly sounds a bit extreme, don’t you agree?
Maybe my choice of words is a bit exaggerated?
Maybe a better title would have been “Three little mistakes that you are better off avoiding”?
I swear to you, on my mother’s grave, that each of these Sins is an absolute KILLER of your success on Tinder.
If you do these things, then your Tinder environment looks a bit like this:
Each of the Sins is the cause of multiple mistakes in your messages.
I’ll show you all the small mistakes here so you can recognize and avoid them.
Once you stop making the small mistakes you are freed from the biggest Sin.
And once you are freed from all three Sins your Tinder conversations won’t fall flat or die.
The consequence will be that your Tinder environment will look a bit more fertile:
Time to analyze the first Sin
We’ll start with one I’m sure you recognize yourself committing and it’s one you hate with a passion…
Sin 1: You don’t know what to say
Sometimes you don’t know what to say.
That shit just happens and that’s completely normal.
And because you don’t know what to say, you’ll end up saying the wrong things.
That’s also completely normal, and you’ll stop doing that right now, compadre.
The first sign of ‘not knowing what to say’ is asking the wrong questions.
#1 Asking the wrong questions
You’re in a conversation…
A girl answers your text and it’s your turn again to keep the texts going.
Damn, you can’t come up with something cheeky to say.
The only thing you think is
“What should I say? What should I say? What should I say?”
Maybe you recognize this:
You are both online and chatting with each other. She saw that you were typing your message… but somehow what you wrote down doesn’t feel like the best thing to say.
But you feel like you have to say something, plus she already saw you typing, you got to commit to your text, right?
Still there’s no clever response popping in your head so…
…you ask a question.
If you ask closed-ended questions you cockblock yourself.
She can’t exactly respond with something funny, so you’re blocking her too.
This bro gives the conversation NO CHANCE to become epic.
This woman almost has no other choice than to react brief or bad to his texts.
On top of that these kind of questions are the way to go… If you want to make her as dry as the Sahara.
They don’t build the Tinder conversation AND they don’t evoke her emotions. But we’ll talk about those emotions later.
“I don’t bite” he says in his attempt to save it.
Sadly, the ship has already sailed.
A friend of mine let me look at her Tinder.
There I got this conversation text example for you:
Respect and pity.
I feel both for this guy.
He does not give up and tries his best. That’s great.
But everything he does… He does completely wrong.
I’ll show you everything he does wrong and explain why. But we’ll start at the beginning.
“Nice weekend ahead of you?”
“Ya” she answers.
That’s what you can expect when you ask a yes/no question.
That’s why you’re always better off asking an open-ended question. It’s one of the 13 texting mistakes guys make.
That way you’ll get more information than two or three letters. She’ll instantly invest more and then you’ll have more information to work with.
He could have formulated the same question this way:
Every possible answer to that is better than a yes or a no.
Another powerful way to keep your conversation going, is to make assumptions about her.
Then you’ll question will look something like this:
Just by announcing it instead of asking you instantly make her curious.
Why does he think that about me? What makes him think that I get into trouble during weekends?
Have a close look at her pictures and profile information. Cause if your assumption is right you score some major points bro.
Then she will feel really connected to you because you seem to know her better than any other guy on her tinder.
Assumptions can also be used to start a conversation. The power of it will always depend on how accurate your assumption is. So don’t be lazy and check out her profile.
#2 The Tinder conversation kick-starter: Contrast
This tip doesn’t really belong in this category but I don’t want you to miss it.
Sometimes a conversation on Tinder can start off so strong that it bears its fruits throughout the entire conversation.
This is because with your first text you already show off that you THINK DIFFERENT than the rest.
If you have read my Tinder Tips article then you already know how to start a conversation.
You also know which three steps you have to take to text that perfect opener.
If you really wanna go next level it benefits you to ask yourself how other dudes would react. And how you can react in a way that’s attractive.
I use this technique when I encounter a situation in which it’s just too out there to sent a particular something.
I’ll show you what I mean with an example.
A friend of mine is called ‘Yane’.
Ask Average Anthony to come up with an original opener for Yane. You’ll be amazed at how many guys would come up with ‘Tarzan and Jane’ lines.
If you’re as big of as a nitpicker as I am you know there’s a big difference between ‘Jane’ and ‘Yane’. But this seems to pose no problem for hundreds of men.
She continuously gets these terrible Tarzan texts.
When you have got a brilliant idea for a text, think for a second if you are not acting like the rest of the world.
And this, my bro, is how to let all these guys behind you.
You will be smart about this, and you send her:
This way you are actually original and not original like everybody else. 😉
On top of that
- You show that you know what you’re talking about
- You are one step ahead of the competition
- You immediately create an ‘us’-feeling. You understand her.
And what if you thought you knew what other guys would text… but you’re wrong?
Then you just laugh away the mistake and you find yourself in an original conversation.
(You can find more information on this conversation in the Tinder Tips article)
Sin 2: You are needy.
Possibly the least attractive thing in the world.
If a woman smells it or even just SUSPECTS you of being needy, then she’ll find you about as attractive as some roadkill that has been baking in the mid-summer heat for about two weeks.
Needy behavior indicates you need something from her.
Or even worse, that you need her as if you can’t live without her.
Which she’ll find AMAZING if she’s already completely head over heels for you. Because she already sees you as manly as fuck on every level.
But when you don’t know her yet and have yet to seduce her?
Then you’ll want to stay as far away as possible from being needy.
#1 You’re too nice 🙂
There’s nothing wrong about being nice bro.
Please don’t start acting like an asshole because you’ll hope to get into a girl’s pants that way.
What you want to avoid is being TOO NICE.
That will make you some kind of teddy bear instead of a manly man.
The kind of teddy she might like having with her when she’s lonely but gets thrown out the moment something better crosses her path.
You prefer being this dude:
Instead of this dude:
You can be too nice in multiple ways.
One of those ways is one I see guys do A LOT.
(and they never realize it)
I’ll give you a text example from her Tinder account. I’m curious if you’ll spot it right away.
This dude does a lot of things wrong.
“Coming across too nice” is one of those things.
Take a close look at the screenshot above and ask yourself why he comes across as so nice?
I’m going to throw a babe underneath so you don’t see the answer right away.
Ok, you have taken a look?
And you have taken a look at the screenshot examples as well?
Did you see where the cause of niceness lies?
This guy uses an emoji at the end of almost every sentence
Would you still take me seriously if I’d put a smiley at the end of every sentence?
Or would it look as if this was written by some 13-year-old boy? (^_^)
One thing is for sure…
It’s not manly
Clownish maybe. Childish. Insecure.
There are much better ways to keep a Tinder conversation going.
Take a look at this conversation that I’m having with a Tinder match.
Notice how girly her way of texting is…
… and how all those emojis are the biggest cause of that.
Learn from smiley-bro his mistakes, and keep your emojis for situations where they are really needed. If a sentence loses its meaning without the smiley or emoji, it’s needed.
In 90% of the cases you can just lose the emojis.
The medicine for being too nice.
Ok, so you have been too nice a lot and this screws your chances to transform matches into Tinder dates.
Get out of here with those mountains of smileys and you’re already one step closer to your goal.
And I have got another tip for you.
A tip that works, that’s not hard, and that you can apply right now.
Think about it for a second.
What do guys that are too nice do when they are in a text conversation with a girl?
What do they do when they are talking about something and they don’t agree with something she says?
They take off their pants and get on their hands and knees. They present their ass to the woman, ask her to put on a strap-on, and proceed to get f**ked in the butt.
Or in other words:
They keep their mouth shut and agree.
Better to agree and act like a bitch, than to get in an argument.
I’m not saying you should provoke a fight.
What I am saying is that it’s fine to stand up for your opinion and that you shouldn’t agree with everything and everyone.
Sometimes it’s perfectly fine to go against the FLOW.
This girl is posing with the American flag in her first picture on Tinder.
Immediately after she apologizes for it in her Tinder bio.
(do something like this as a guy and you’re immediately some boneless weakling)
Both the opener and the texts show a manly attitude that goes against the flow.
#2 Text examples that will help you to keep the conversation going
Let’s go back to the star of this article, smiley-bro.
Let us have a look at how his Tinder conversation started with a cute girl.
Smiley-bro starts off his Tinder conversations with some kind of multiple choice question. We’re going to elaborate on that.
In any case, Yane chooses option 2: friendzoning him.
Smiley-bro comes up with a clever comeback and says he should have asked a “Ya/ne” question. Huehue.
She responds, so it’s not game over yet.
But what does he do then?
He goes straight to asking her out.
Two mistakes at once!
First of all, he is escalating on a no.
Escalating on a no means trying to get to the next step in your conversation or date, after she reacts negatively to your last move.
Some negative reactions she can give on Tinder are:
- Short reactions
- Literally saying no to a proposal
- Late or no reactions to your texts
Second of all he’s asking her out way too soon.
You have no idea how many guys ask girls out WAY too soon.
Sometimes it’s because they don’t want to invest a lot of time. But almost always it’s because they are being NEEDY.
Smiley-bro asks her out and she rejects him.
And as you have seen already, he’s going to ask her if she has a nice weekend coming up.
#3 A house built out of walls of text only keeps pussy dry.
Walls of text, you know what I mean, those essays you sometimes get in your inbox.
When a girl texts them you’re doing well bro. It means she is investing hard.
If you’re the one texting them… Then it’s time to learn.
“But Louis, isn’t it better that I write cool stories about myself so she sees my value?”
A cool guy doesn’t feel the need to tell his life story each chance he gets.
Talk about her, about ideas, make up adventures that you two are going to have together. Talk about your hatred for white sneakers or your love for Rick and Morty. But don’t talk too much about yourself.
That’s something you keep for the date.
Time for an example:
This guy and his match have found a perfect topic.
They both love diving.
She asks him if he also dives in The Netherlands and tells him she has dived in Greece and Indonesia.
Then he tells her… a lot.
These are the kind of texts that birthed the term tl;dr.
Too long; didn’t read
The text is about diving and stuff…
Look at what I can do and where I have been? COOL RIGHT?!
Oh btw I’m so glad this girl also dives. I’ll go ahead and tell her half of my life story. I hope we get married soon. Agate + me fOrEvEr <3
Personally I don’t know a lot about diving, I’m convinced this guy is a good diver.
But one thing’s for sure…
He won’t dive into her bed.
Read more about overtexting a girl here.
#4 You don’t text at the perfect moment
When should you answer?
The question man has been trying to answer since the beginning of time.
Allow me to get right into it:
When you text doesn’t matter.
Well yeah, it’s more complicated than that.
First of all, it does matter when you text your OPENER. You’ll want to sent that sooner than later.
Profiles who are actively texting their Tinder matches get a higher score from the Tinder-algorithm and get to see more beautiful women (yum).
On top of that, new matches respond more to your texts than matches that are 3 months old.
When you send the other texts doesn’t really matter. As long as it’s not TOO FAST or TOO SLOW.
More in depth now:
I know that there are guys who think that you have to ‘punish’ a girl if she takes her time to answer. So what do they do? They answer extra slow each time she texts slow.
This is an extremely effective technique…
…to suck all the flow out of the Tinder conversation, your match will lose interest and end up lonely in your bed watching ‘Backdoor Sluts 9’.
Forget all formulas and revenge plans.
Text back when you can. This means that if you get a text and can answer right away, you actually do that.
If you are someone who checks his phone all the time, this can be dangerous.
You don’t want to text back right away all the time if she doesn’t do that.
Women are still human. And most people have stuff to do.
Meetings, hobbies, workouts, cooking, shopping, …
I assume that this is also the case with you. And because of that your response time varies each time.
You are automatically unpredictable.
There’s only one scenario where you DO want to answer quickly each time.
And that’s when she does.
At that moment she’s probably comfortably lying on the couch and all her attention is aimed at that little screen of her phone.
At that moment you want to answer quickly. That way it’s almost as if an actual conversation is going on. Think back to the online golden days of MSN, ICQ, and late night texting where you count the amount of x’es you got before going to sleep.
What if she does the opposite and doesn’t respond for a few hours or even a day?
You’re staring at that little screen and deep inside you feel the need burning to text her a second time.
You can’t go on without her answer.
You’re going to do it. Most of all you want to ask her what’s wrong. Were you not funny enough? Did you do something wrong?
Take a DEEP breath and DROP YOUR PHONE. Hands where I can see them!
Don’t send a second text bro. That’s a no-go.
At least not yet. Has she not texted you back within 48 hours you’re allowed to text.
In half of the cases you’ll see she texts you after all.
She dropped her phone in the toilet, she just got her period and had no tampons. Her dog ate chocolate and had to get CPR, yada yada.
Sometimes someone just simply forgets to answer. Most people (including me) have the short term memory of a fish.
In case you still wonder WHY you shouldn’t send a second or third text…
Look at how repulsive this is, another Tinder example:
When girls beg for an answer it’s also super repulsive.
Don’t make this text mistake. Just wait for a bit.
#5 Keep your balls in check
Yep I know
You’ve got balls.
Healthy, functional testicles.
You love women and enjoy the attention they give you.
What I notice about a lot of guys taking part in our programs, it’s that they are beginning to see the light.
They get how the game works and get more and more Tinder success.
In the past you might not have gotten a lot of attention from the ladies and now you do.
The result? You are really happy about her positive responses and you clearly show that in your texts.
Again, stay calm and breath.
If you have to, just sit back, put on ‘Backdoor Sluts 9’ and take 30min for yourself.
What I want to avoid is that you text back TOO ENTHUSIASTIC.
Nothing wrong with being enthusiastic. Enthusiastic people are a nice change.
The subtext of your text?
“ I rarely get such good responses, I’m completely baffled by this!”
You can enjoy your growing Tinder skills but stay calm.
Pretend as if success with women is as normal for you as this bro:
Questions to keep a text conversation going
I know exactly what you want.
Quite a statement, I know.
Besides all the examples and principles you are getting here, you would love to get some copy-paste questions to send to her. Am I right?
The other day I was on a Tinder date, and the girl was complaining about all the guys on the dating app. How every guy was asking her “if she has done something fun lately” or questioning if “she’s gonna do something fun soon”
She described this as generic and vague, or in her own words:
“What do you MEAN?? If I’ll do something fun this weekend, or next year, or ever? And how bored are you to ask me such a boring question?”
As she left my place the next day, I texted her:
She thought it was hilarious.
So yes, the best questions to ask your Tinder crush are always the ones that are personal, and that apply to your specific conversation.
Write down funny Tinder lines. If it works once, it will probably work twice!
For 10 copy-paste questions and lines to keep the convo going, free of charge, I compiled a bonus right here.
Sin 3: You’re not calibrated
And now we get to the third Sin.
You did a lot of things well and still you fail to get that date.
Big possibility that you got screwed over by the third Sin: you’re not calibrated.
You’re like some kind of Starbucks Barista who prepares an espresso when it’s asked 8 out of 10 times. The other 2 times you end up making a Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet’N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice.
Being calibrated is about reading signals.
Understanding what a woman thinks.
the 5 most made mistakes are these:
- You’re too pushy
- You’re too gamey
- You stack technique after technique
- You escalate on a no
- You don’t read the signals
I’ll show you an example so you can understand it better.
The situation: this guy got the number of his match and is chatting with her on WhatsApp. He did a lot of things right and is now trying to fix a date for that evening. I’ll refer to the guy as Mr. Robot. You can see how he tries to keep the text conversation going in the example below:
Okay okay, we’ll start at the beginning.
You see that he sent a text and ended it with the smirk smiley.
It was some kind of flirty cause she responded with:
“Yes I did’ Mr. Robot said. “ What are you doing up so late? *smirk*”
She’s working and doesn’t like his text. This is because Mr. Robot…
Is escalating on a no.
That way he’s also not reading her signals.
The exact same story is when she says that she deserves a gentleman and he says he’s going to drive her home like a gentleman after getting laid.
He has also sent 3 smileys in 4 texts.
Again she doesn’t like his text. This is obvious because of the:
Not reading signals in the purest form… when Mr. Robot responds with a question mark “?”.
He plays it cool: “Sure. No worries *smirk* and says that they’ll have a pancake party the next day.
She’ll come wearing a onesie she says and he makes a fitting joke by asking if she’s going to show up in this:
Her reaction is more positive again and it seems like it’s going down the right path.
Until Mr. Robot decides to be too gamey and tries to escalate too much too soon.
She asks when that would be.
The worst answer would be something like:
But his real answer, “I’ll check my schedule. But I know I have another one next week xD” is as equally bad.
He pushes her away while she isn’t into him yet.
Too pushy (and too gamey).
Then he tries to close again by escalating on a no.
Game over for Mr. Robot and a good lesson for you.
A last category that dries up a potential conversation here and there is this. Have a look at this Tinder conversation example:
What is happening here?
This guy’s Tinder conversation doesn’t keep going and he has no clue what to do.
His solution? Using all kinds of powerful techniques he found in my #Over The Top Textgame workshop…
Powerful techniques I said. And they are, when you use them in the right context and at the right moment.
When you just throw line after line at her… you lose authenticity and it results in…
So, that was a lot of information. Let it sink in for a bit and feel free to reread the parts you struggle with the most.
Lastly a message to the guys who text me stuff like “I’ve been on a date with her and now she doesn’t respond well anymore, what can I text?”
That, my dear friend, shows me that you don’t have a texting problem but rather a seduction problem. It’s during the date that it went wrong, and not while exchanging texts BEFORE the date.
For more tips, check out these articles:
And don't forget your download below ;)