There’s someone on Instagram that you like.
And if you ever want to get her on a date, then you’ll need to text her.
Whether you just found her on Instagram, or saw her on Tinder…
…In this article, you’ll discover how to slide into her DMs.
- My 5 Steps to slide DMs like a TextGod
- Tons of examples of bad DM slides (avoid these common mistakes)
- Which photos of her Instagram to like, and when
- 4 Rules to always keep in mind when sliding
- Case study: My student’s 10/10 DM slide
- 6 Examples of Instagram stories she’ll respond to (Copy these formats!)
- How to keep the conversation going after the DM slide
- Much more…
By the way, did you know there is one opener SO good, that I don't want every peasant to get a hold of it. It uses the psychological principle of clickbait, making it irresistible to ignore. I included it in a free video with 7 real life text examples + 2 bonus follow-up lines to use after the opener. Download it for free here.
Sliding the DMs (AKA direct messaging a stranger) is a popular way to get to know new people. But it’s tough and you might look like a creep. More and more guys like to slide into a girl’s Instagram DMs. And the more DM slides she gets, the more Insta texts she ignores. In this article, you get my 5 steps to be the one guy in her DMs that she can’t ignore.
By the end of this article, no more FBI agents will cringe because of you
First things first.
Let’s make sure you don’t have to use your tissues for tears…
…so you can keep them for lonely nights.
This tip will save you some tears
In this article, you’re going to get a golden 5 step plan to slide DMs.
But before you scroll down to my wildly effective Instagram strategy, something even more important.
I get countless emails from guys like you, asking about DM slides.
And I have to disappoint at least half of them.
You can’t slide just any girl’s direct messages and expect it to work.
You have to meet certain conditions first.
Here’s an example:
Do you think Peasant Paul has a shot in hell to pick up Rihanna?
You leave your house to get groceries.
As you’re walking you see this girl walk by:
If you’re one of the very few guys that has the balls to walk up to her…
…what are the odds she’d give you her number?
I don’t know you, but if you’re a somewhat average guy, with average social skills…
…then the odds are pretty damn low.
Unless you’re a regular on the Milan Fashion Week catwalk or a Forbes 500 CEO.
…the point is not that it’s about looks or big racks.
The point is this:
If you think that you can persuade a woman with several thousand Instagram followers, while your own profile looks about as popular as a nightclub during an apocalypse, then this is your wake-up call.
Peasant Paul isn’t going to close Victoria Secret angels in the supermarket.
And you aren’t going to close popular IG profiles if you have 200 followers and a few mediocre photos.
The first step is a good understanding of how ‘the market’ works.
Women get SOAKED in attention online.
Way more than in real life.
Because in real life you need a solid set of testicles to walk up to a girl.
But when hiding behind a screen? Suddenly Mediocre Marc, Peasant Paul, and even Timid Tim dare to shoot their shot.
Have a look at my girlfriend’s IG inbox:
Obviously, it isn’t like this for every girl.
This is an extremely gorgeous woman’s DMs after she made a new post. (And it teaches us a lot, more on that later in the article!)
But it does give you a reality check.
If you don’t put effort into your profile, then women won’t take you very seriously.
Don’t DM Jennifer Lopez.
Go for the girl next door instead.
There’s a reason rappers happily sing about their new crush having a small IG account. It means they’ll have an easier time seducing her.
Alright, we managed your expectations.
Now let’s look at how exactly you’ll slide into a girl’s DMs on Instagram.
How to slide into her dm’s in 5 steps
Behold, my 5 steps to sliding into her DMs
Step 1: Have a decent profile
Step 2: Follow her
Step 3: Engage her profile by likes and/or comments
Step 4: Wait for the perfect moment
Step 5: Slide into her DMs using my technique
Alternatively, you can skip steps 2, 3, and 4, and just slide. You’ll have way lower chances of success. But you’ll save time. More on that later.
Step 1: Have a presentable profile
I always get complaints about this.
Whether it’s Tinder or Instagram, everything online starts with your profile.
And that’s where most men start whining:
It’s also the subject where most men know next to nothing about.
Let me clear this up real quick.
To have an attractive Instagram you DON’T need:
- To be good looking
- Do expensive things
- Have a professional camera
I’ll show you how you can have an attractive profile without any of those luxuries.
The best Instagram profiles give me the next 3 essential thoughts:
- Your life would be an addition to my life
- You’re trustworthy
- You’re attractive (attractive, not good looking)
Let me clarify these three for you:
Your life would be an addition to my life
If I’m a girl who just got a text from you, the first thing I’ll do is look at your profile.
So I get an idea of ‘the quality of your life’.
Now, you tell me. Suppose my life looks way more fun than yours…
…why the hell would I want to hang out with you?
After all, I’m already having more fun without you.
I don’t know you, and this is the internet.
The last thing I want as a girl, is to be in danger.
I want to feel safe around you.
How can I get the idea that you’re trustworthy?
- I see you smiling often
- People around you smile
- You’ve got a pet you’re taking care of
- People trust you with their kiddo around you
- Your photos have the right amount of teal
(One of the guys in my Mentoring Program found that by slightly upping teal-levels in his photos, he got perceived to be more trustworthy. He A-B tested this with random women online and the results didn’t lie. Anyway, this is just a fun experiment. Adding more teal to your photos isn’t nearly as important as the other factors.)
If your profile radiates a warm vibe, then I’ll feel comfortable imagining me around you.
And last but not least, you need to be attractive.
Read that one more time: you need to be attractive. That’s not the same as good looking.
You’ll get more examples down the line, but here’s one to give you an idea:
This Instagram profile has an attractive vibe.
You won’t see a tall beast with a model face and a Calvin Klein type of body here.
But you will see high-quality photos with good light and good angles.
You’ll also see a guy surrounded by friends, having fun travels, doing things he likes. (Snowboarding, surfing, kayaking, going to concerts, hiking, …)
He wears cool outfits and seems to enjoy his life.
See how some photos have two white squares in the top right corner? Those are albums. And they contain more photos that people can swipe through. In these albums, you’ll see his friends and people around him having a great time. Smiling.
Another great way to make people want to meet you, is by posting the right stories.
Examples of great Instagram story ideas are coming further in this article.
Step 2: Follow her
Don’t hide in the shadows.
Let her know you exist. Follow her profile!
Go ahead and practice by clicking the follow button on my profile:
Click on this link and follow me for ‘quality content’. But mostly just so I get more followers and have an easier time sliding DMs myself.
If her profile is public, you can just follow.
If her profile is private, you’ll have to wait until she accepts your follow request.
Once you’ve given her a follow, it’s time for Step 3.
Step 3: Engage her profile
This step is where many men royally screw up.
When checking out someone’s profile, you don’t want to seem creepy.
In this part, I’ll give you some tips to get her attention the proper way.
First things first. Don’t be one of these guys:
All aboard the niceguy train! Choo choo! Destination friendzone!
Most men hop on the niceguy train.
With a single ticket towards the friendzone.
With so many people going this way, you’d think the nice-guy-train is cheap.
But it isn’t.
You pay a hefty price:
How much? Usually all of it.
If you’re not some sort of Instagram celebrity, which you aren’t since you’re reading this guide, then complimenting her photo costs you all of your attractiveness.
Hold onto compliments about her appearance for when you know each other better.
Complimenting her looks right away makes you ‘one of those guys’.
And with ‘those guys’ I mean the endless horde of chanceless men trying to swoon women with sweet talk.
Instead, like a photo that doesn’t revolve around her appearance.
Do you like to hike and see a photo of her rocking hiking boots in the outdoors?
Bingo. You got your entry.
See a cute kitty on her Gram and you’re a firm believer that cats > dogs? Like it.
Group shot with her family? And you’re the type of guy that has ‘Family First’ tatted across his chest?
Heart that photo!
I’m sure you get the gist.
So let’s go into detail:
Should you only like recent pictures? Or older ones too?
Liking more recent pictures is the safe play.
Liking pictures further down shows her that you really investigated her whole profile.
Which can be charming, but only when she already likes you.
(As it is with any flirty move that requires more investment.)
If you’re going to slide into the DMs of someone you don’t know yet…
…then don’t go deep.
You’ll come across as creepy and stalkerish.
Covert mission failed.
If you’re already flirting with someone and things seem to be going well…
…feel free to like an older photo and slide into the DMs.
How many photos should you like?
In an ideal world, you’re following each other
But that’s not necessary, as long as you can see her posts.
So how many photos do you like to get her attention?
She’ll count your likes and will be primed to 69 you the next time she sees you.
Lame jokes aside, don’t like too many photos.
- One can easily get overlooked, depending on how active her notifications are.
- Two is a safer bet.
- Three photos will definitely get you noticed but is the max.
Enough about likes, what about comments?
Should you just like photos, or leave comments too?
Comments can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
As we’ve seen earlier, compliments will usually get you friendzoned or ignored.
But there are other comments that get her interested in you.
And those comments are…
Comments that mention something specific that you see on her post, other than her appearance.
Maybe you recognize a place she’s been to and have a witty remark at the ready.
Or perhaps you feel like her pet is too adorable not to compliment it.
But in general, you want to keep all your communication hidden in the DMs.
No one prefers flirting in public, where they can get judged.
Flirting in her inbox feels more private and safe.
If your follow and likes don’t make her follow you back…
…then you can’t slide her DMs.
Well, you can, but you won’t land in her inbox.
Only people she follows are welcome there.
Instead, your text will be in her ‘requests’.
A vile place not many people pay attention to.
Go ahead and check your requests if you’ve never done so before.
You may have a romantic admirer in there.
Or a lost friend trying to rekindle.
Or just some guy trying to introduce you to his pyramid scheme.
The kind of stuff you find in your message requests
Anyway, you get the picture.
She will rarely check the ‘requests’. So if you’re in there, you need to let her know.
A simple comment saying ‘Check your DMs’ could be enough.
The only problem with this strategy, is that you won’t be the only guy using it.
Another reason to get yourself a charming avatar. You know… the little profile picture at the top of your profile.
Your little photo and name will be the first thing she sees when you follow or comment.
A better photo means more intrigue. And thus higher odds she’ll actually check her DMs.
Of course, you could come up with a more clever line than ‘check your DMs’.
And I know you’d love to have mine, but I can’t give away EVERYTHING for free, can I?
Step 4: Wait for the perfect moment
There are many good moments to slide into a girl’s DMs.
And a couple that are horrible.
Let’s make sure you’re not going for the horrible ones.
As usual with online dating, it’s best to stand out.
How can you stand out when we’re talking about timing?
“By texting her when nobody else is texting her”
Yes sir, good thinking.
But we’re not talking about moments in the day or night here.
All that matters to us, is that there’s not too many guys flooding her inbox when you come in.
So ask yourself, when are other guys shooting their shot?
Let me help you.
It’s when she posts a photo like this:
Throwback to when one of the most bliss sunsets I ever saw
Every guy on Instagram:
Every guy on Instagram the same minute:
How NOT to slide into her DMs
So… don’t slide her DM’s in the hours after she posts a new, sexy photo.
All she’ll think is that you want to spend one hot night with her, just like 69 other guys.
Same goes for when she posts an Instagram story.
Like this for example:
Imagine this to be whatever attractive photo
Same thing here.
Every guy on Instagram:
Every guy on Instagram the same minute:
SMH. This is an actual DM a friend of mine received.
Long story short: when it comes to WHEN you slide a woman’s DM…
…do it at any time that she hasn’t recently reminded the whole world how cute she is.
If she posted a photo or story about something you care about, know a lot about, or can relate to… that not everyone will text her about… then text her about that instead.
Enough about timing.
Time for the actual slides!
Step 5: Slide into her DMs!
It’s finally time to actually slide.
Now imagine you executed all previous steps…
…and then throw all your effort in the trash like this:
Someone throw bleach in my eyes ASAP!
This DM slide is so horrible that we can distil a few rules from it.
- No compliments on her appearance (you already knew this!)
- No Peasant openers (hey, hi, hello, how are you, how’s your day, …)
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- No smileys faces and other common emojis (this is a general texting rule btw)
- I can’t extract a 5th rule out of this screenshot but I refuse to have an even amount of bullets.
If you’ve read my articles before, then most of these rules aren’t new to you.
But still, we have to zoom in on Rule #3.
Someone give this man an award!
No woman on earth believes that particular DM slide.
You didn’t text her on Tinder because that’s too predictable?
Let me rewrite his text:
Don’t get forced to slide DMs of your Tinder matches.
If they match you, you can talk to her on the dating app itself.
And then move onto Instagram by choice.
If you thought that this guy was a special case, think again.
A considerable percentage of guys in online dating share the same belief. Namely, that girls can’t see through your bullshit.
What’s with the seemingly universal need to justify being on Tinder?
Everyone and their mom is on Tinder.
Half of the people you know met their partners on Tinder or another dating app.
Man, I’m having hella fun on these apps.
It seems like DM sliding guys only have two modes
- Super nice guy mode. Complimenting and being boring
- Super tryhard mode. Trying to be cool but actually embarrassing themselves
If you’re wondering how to slide into someone’s DMs in a more creative way, try this approach:
Here’s what I tell my clients to do:
Tell her exactly what happened and what you feel, without trying to be cool.
While keeping in mind what everyone else is texting, so you can set yourself apart.
Also keep the rules in mind that we just talked about.
You might just be the first guy in her inbox that gets a reply.
(Obviously my Mentoring Program clients get access to my exact formats. Which we then personalize to maximize success.)
Now I know you’re not going to be happy without getting an actual copy pastable line here…
And I get it, I’ve been warming you up the whole damned article.
In general, my Clickbait Opener works wonders on Instagram.
It’s a copy pastable line that generates so much intrigue that she has to text back.
Then you’ll follow it up with a personalized statement.
Sounds vague still?
No worries, I added a free video that shows you exactly how I use the clickbait opener.
But that’s not all.
In the next tip, I got an example for you from a student that perfectly executed a DM slide.
Case Study: The perfectly executed DM slide
This, my dearest of readers, is how it’s done.
Buckle up, watch, and learn.
My student, let’s call him David, spots his dream girl.
He’s already completed the first two steps.
✅ Step 1: Have a decent profile.
His profile is nothing fancy. No crazy amounts of likes or followers.
But he does have some photos exuding good vibes.
Think of fun with friends, a cool shot of him practising his hobby, and a couple decent photos showing himself.
✅ Step 2: He followed her
Now it’s time for:
✅ Step 3: Engage her profile.
David doesn’t just comment on a random hot pic.
He looks for something they have in common.
After a few days she posts this story:
If you’re not super familiar with Instagram, let me explain what you’re seeing.
It’s his crush posting a screenshot of her own Instagram feed. The overview of her profile.
Why does she do this?
It’s just something people on Instagram do. When they have a new post, they announce it in their story as well to gain more views/likes on the new post.
Yup, people really like validation.
Anyway, she circled her latest post and added the text:
“SLYTHERIN STARTED PACK”
That must have given David a massive hardon.
Because he used to be the most active poster on a Harry Potter fan forum.
So, dear David goes to her photo, where the caption reads:
So David replies:
A clever comment sticking to the Harry Potter theme.
…She replies. In a playful way even.
I guess that means David just completed Step 4.
✅ Step 4: Wait for the perfect moment
Perfect. Time to make the big move then ey!
✅ Step 5: Slide the right way
David doesn’t mess around.
He doesn’t text any peasant openers or lame compliments.
One-upping her Slytherin style outfit with his very own.
She disses him.
And just like that, a fun conversation started.
David kept the conversation going and eventually landed a date.
Someone give this guy a medal.
Now, how about we try the unthinkable?
Have your crush slide YOUR DMs instead.
In the next tip, I’ll show you what you can do.
Make her slide your DMs by doing this
This tip will give you two things:
- Girls sliding YOUR DMs
- A more attractive profile. And thus better chances for a response when you text her.
What are we talking about?
Your Instagram stories.
Let’s start by agreeing on two things:
- You’re NOT allowed to post stories about your food, car, your ANYTHING that doesn’t stimulate emotions.
- You don’t need to have expensive things or sick travels to make attractive stories.
That’s good news!
You can literally make cool stories every day, if you keep a couple things in mind.
Want an example?
How about 6 examples?!
Alright alright let’s go.
I made this video to show you some random stories I have recently uploaded. Besides the crazy self-tattoo, all of these are replicable by you.
Of course, I also upload stories where I’m on a friend’s boat, on a cliff somewhere abroad watching an insane sunset, or other atypical noteworthy stuff.
But there’s no point in showing those since you can’t copy those.
The point is that you can use these formats in your day-to-day life.
Once you regularly post stories that move people, you’ll see that some of them will react.
Whether it’s with Instagram’s standard reaction emojis…
…or actual texts. Both are good.
How to keep the conversation going after you slide DMs?
Here’s a goodbye gift.
Kick back in your seat.
Throw your feet up if you feel like it.
Even if you’re in school or at work. Yolo.
Anyway, once you’ve successfully slid her DMs, you need to keep the conversation going.
But I figure you’ve already read enough.
So just watch this video where I show you how.
Protip: put the playback speed on 1.25 or 1.5 to save time and still understand everything.
There you go.
You now know how to slide into DMs
Enjoy, avoid the common mistakes, and invite me to your wedding.
For more tips, check out these articles:
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