How To Talk To A Girl On Tinder: Best Tips (+ Examples)

If you’re here, you’re probably not getting the Tinder results you want.

Conversations go south, girls aren’t eager to meet, and some don’t even respond to your first text.

I wrote this article to help you beat all those issues.

You’ll learn how to talk to a girl on Tinder and have so much fun together that she’ll be eager to see you on a date.

In this article:More...

By the end of this article, you’ll have all the skills to become her favorite Tinder match.

How to text a girl on Tinder?

Texting a girl on Tinder is largely about ADDING VALUE instead of ASKING VALUE.

After all, she has no motivation to invest in the conversation until she recognizes your worth.

How do you show her you’re a catch?

  1. Send her a personal and emotionally stimulating first text.
  2. Be playful. Most guys are predictably boring.
  3. Speak your mind. If she sees you can (respectfully) disagree with her, you instantly become more trustworthy. Plus, it shows confidence.
  4. Be authentic. Only speak about subjects you’re genuinely interested in.
  5. Be curious. Figure out if she’s someone you’d like to meet. Just because she’s someone you find attractive doesn’t mean it’ll be fun to hang out.

If you do all these things, you’ll stand out and grab her attention. From here, stick to the game plan and ask her out when she’s showing clear signs of interest.

Read the rest of my article to get even more tips on how to make her excited to go out with you.

1. Start your conversations strong

Here’s a simple way to make yourself interesting to your Tinder matches.

Stay away from the predictable.

Most guys turn girls off by asking the same questions she’s received a million times before. “How are you?” “Do you like to travel?” “Did you have a good weekend?”

While none of these questions are instant attraction killers, they’re not particularly seductive either. After all, these are questions she might also get from her grandma. But if you want to be seen as her lover, so you better sound like one.

How I hear you ask?

By keeping your texts personal and emotionally stimulating.

Let me give you some examples of good texts that break the ice.

  • “Hey [her name]. Wanna know what I like about your profile?”
  • “Your photo where [describe it] is my exact look when I see the pizza delivery guy outside my door”
  • “[If she has an adventurous profile] Dang, [her name]. You’re like the female James Bond. Can’t wait to live out my dream of being a Bond Girl.”

Important: Quickly letting you know I found the best opener EVER. Its psychologically irresistible to ignore. I made a video explaining how to use it and it's 'clickbait-principle' with screenshot examples. Check it out here.

Did you check out the screenshot of the day yet? Daily screenshot

Learn from the funniest, flirtiest and best conversations of our coaches.

Check it out now!

2. Give her space to invest

Here’s how you can get girls to chase you.

Give her the opportunity to show interest.

It sounds so simple, and it is! But most men make the mistake of doing the opposite. Out of a desire to seduce her, they constantly try to prove what a catch they are.

But for most women, that’s a bit of a turn-off. When she sees you’re prepared to do anything to win her over, she won’t value what you have to offer. Your attention is coming too cheaply.

That’s why it’s crucial to occasionally let your foot off the gas pedal and let her charm you.

This does two things:

  1. She’ll signal how much she likes you. The harder she tries, the more she’s into you.
  2. She’ll start to like you even more. The more effort people put into something, the more they’ll value it.

How do you give her space to invest? A personal favorite is sharing something about my day without teeing her up for an easy reply.

Let me give you some examples:

  • “Just came back from a day at the beach. I went surfing and even flew a kite lol”.
  • “Had a mega long day at the office. Going to unwind with a nice book and a nice glass of vino #vibes”.
  • “About to watch a spooky Korean movie with my friends. If I don’t reply anymore, I’ve probably been eaten by a long-haired Asian girl”.

3. Flirt with her

You undoubtedly know flirting is key when talking to a girl on Tinder. But you probably don’t know where to start.

Let me give you an incredibly effective method of flirting over text.

Give and take away imaginary points.

A huge part of seduction is being a challenge. So if you voice to your Tinder match when she does something you dislike, she’ll come to understand that she hasn’t seduced you yet.

That’s exciting! Because this means that the game of seduction is still going on and it’s unsure if you’ll meet up or not.

This is a good thing. After all, most dudes on Tinder are completely sold by her after seeing her profile.

Let me show you how this imaginary points thing works.

  • [Her profile says she’s vegetarian but she occasionally eats pork] “Wow, lying to me already??? -5 points”.
  • [She loves hip hop but doesn’t know an artist you like] “+10 for your taste in music, but -50 points for not knowing MF DOOM”.
  • “I can’t believe you’re a Tolkien fan and love the Hobbit movies more than the Ring movies, -1 trillion points ;(((“.

4. Tease with love

Here’s my favorite way to build a strong connection with my Tinder matches. And if you want to be good at seduction, it should be yours too.

Tease them.

Most of us think that highlighting what we have in common is the best way to make someone like us. And while there’s truth to this, agreeing on too many things can quickly feel a little fake.

That’s why playfully breaking the connection with a tease is so important. It shows girls on Tinder that you’re confident enough to jokingly push them away.

Not only does this make you more attractive, it also makes you more trustworthy. After all, you’re not afraid to speak your mind.

So be sure to tease! But remember: teasing is about exchanging jokes to create a light-hearted atmosphere. It’s never done to hurt someone’s feelings.

Let me give you some examples:

  • “It’s spelled THEY’RE. I think it’s adorable that you finally slipped up a little though”.
  • “I appreciate your honesty about rap music. But just know that you’re wrong and I hate you!! 😡😡😡”
  • “You’re not a fan of tattoos? I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were visually impaired”.

5. Sprinkle in some sex

This is how you get girls crazy about you over text.

Subtly bring up the subject of sex.

You don’t want to do this at the start of your conversation. It’s too risky and makes it look like your brain has been replaced with your schlong.

But once you’ve established you’re a cool dude, it’s time to make your Tinder conversations a little more steamy. Because otherwise, you might as well be her girlfriend. To make her think of you as a man she’s attracted to, she has to associate you with naughty thoughts.

Let me show you some examples texts on how to do that.

  • [When she sends you a lot of texts] “You’re so flirting with me right now. That’s cute.”
  • [If she asks you about work] “I actually make most of my money with my Only Fans.”
  • “You seem like an adventurous girl. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”

6. Lead, then mirror

Do you find yourself struggling to know how much and how often to text? Let me solve that problem for you once and for all.

Set the tone, then test the waters.

When meeting someone new on Tinder, it’s best to try and have the type of conversation you want. If you want her to be playful, quick to reply, and interested it’s important to lead by example. Otherwise, she’ll probably be hesitant and a little distant.

But after you’ve taken the initiative for a while, it’s important to dial down the fun vibes. If you don’t, she’ll get the feeling you’re needy for her attention.

So once you feel like you’ve invested enough, slow it down a little to show her your attention is conditional. Only if she gives you enough in return will you stay interested.

This isn’t playing hard-to-get, this is just healthy social dynamics.

In short, mirror her texts after you’ve shown you’re a cool and fun guy.

Do you notice she isn’t giving you much back anymore? That’s a sign that she’s probably not that interested. At this stage, it’s fine to keep texting her as long as you lower the priority of this Tinder conversation.

Holy Tip:

Even if you sense that a Tinder match is slipping away from you, never act butthurt.

Always stay respectful, even in the worst scenarios.

7. Keep the conversation going

This is going to keep your Tinder conversations going forever.

Mix up asking questions and making statements.

Most guys get stuck in interview mode. They keep firing question after question to keep the conversation going. While it can work, it’s not very fun for her.

Typically, it’ll make her feel a little bored and turn her off from the conversation entirely.

To make your conversations seem effortless, it’s important to add statements too.

Let me give you some examples.

  • “When I saw your profile I didn’t expect you to be so cheeky! Would your friends describe you like that too?”
  • “You’ve got such a healthy lifestyle. Do you ever snack or is it just broccoli and lettuce all day?”
  • Boy, you use so many big words. I bet you like to read the dictionary in your spare time.”

8. Create future plans

If your end goal is to meet her, here’s what you do:

Playfully suggest fun activities to do one day.

Of course, you don’t want to suggest random things to do together. Pay attention to what your shared interests are.

Not only is it flirty, if she’s interested you can probably plan the date right away.

  • [If she’s super healthy] “I know this amazing smoothie place that I’ll know you love. If you’re lucky I might take you there one day ;)”.
  • [If she’s into art] “Perhaps we can go to an exhibition and you can be my tour guide. Do you accept hugs and bad dad jokes as payment?”

How to talk to a girl on Tinder – Conclusion

When talking to a girl on Tinder, your goal is to figure out if you hit it off over text. It’s not so much about exchanging facts and getting to know someone, but to feel out if you enjoy talking with each other.

So your Tinder conversation is largely a vibe check. To find out if you get along, it’s best to roughly execute the next Tinder strategy:

  • Focus on fun and banter.
  • Act as a prize.
  • Be curious.

Of course, these guidelines don’t tell you what to say. And that’s typically what keeps us from successfully planning a date. To make your Tinder conversations run more smoothly, I want to give you some gifts.

Namely, my 10 Texts That Always Work. Just as the name suggests, these are lines that can help you in any situation. And I also want to give you my most powerful texting technique, The Personality Slice.

This is what will get girls addicted to your texts.

Get them in your inbox right now by clicking the big button below.



Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

Get my best stuff for FREE!

The Clickbait Opener

Get the highest response rate of my 40 best openers

10 Texts That Always Work

Stop worrying about what to say. Steal my lines instead!

The Dating Profile Checklist

Fill in the blanks, improve your profile, get more matches

The Personality Slicing Seminar Recordings

My secret method to get any girl craving your attention

Yes, give me your stuff!

For more tips, check out these related articles:


Write a comment