You like someone and want to get to know them better.
Only that person doesn’t know your intentions.
And while you know you should speak up, you don’t know what to say.
Because you’re about to get my best tips to tell someone you like them through text in just 3 steps.In this article:More...
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Should you tell someone you like them?
It all depends on the context.
If you know or have a strong feeling that they like you back, it’s perfectly safe to tell you like them. But do you barely know the other person?
Then sharing your feelings tends to come across as low-value or even a little creepy.
Because you’re falling for a stranger! The other person has done little to nothing to make you like them. What does that say about you? That you’re easily impressed and probably have low standards.
Not particularly attractive.
How to tell someone you like them
The absolute best way to tell someone you like them consists of three steps:
- Build a fun and special connection.
- Identify when they’re probably into you.
- Share your feelings once you know they like to talk to you.
This article will give you some tips for each step.
Step 1: Build a fun and special connection
1. Get a conversation going
If you can barely hold a conversation, then it’s unlikely she’s going to get a crush on you.
So create a fun back-and-forth first.
There are obviously a bajillion ways to chat with a cute girl, but here are three guidelines to help you go in the right direction:
- Keep it playful. “OK, I was having this random discussion with a friend and I want your opinion too. What color do you think unicorn poop is?”
- Share your highlights. “Going to a movie fright night event! Spoopy. 💀💀 You have any fun stuff planned?”
- Ask fun questions. “What’s the last dream you can remember? For me, I dreamt that I needed a butthole replacement lmao”.
For more fun questions and texts, check out my next article:
2. Move at her pace
This is why so many girls you like grow distant: you’re giving her too much attention.
Now the investment ratio is all askew.
You’re constantly signaling to her that you’re interested even though she’s not doing much to earn your interest.
That’s fine… if she’s already into you. But is she still on the fence about you? Then it’s a bit of a turnoff. After all, she’s barely invested any time in you and she already feels like she won you over. That’s like winning a trophy for a race you didn’t even compete in.
It doesn’t feel right.
So here’s my advice: invest in her as much as she invests in you.
- Match her speed of texting.
- Match her text output.
- Match her curiosity.
By going tit for tat, you’re slowly becoming closer to each other without seeming desperate. Now you’re equally interested.
Do note that you don’t have to obsess over this stuff. These are just guidelines to keep you from blowing up her inbox. So don’t take it super seriously.
I’ve got 10 Texts That Always Work. It’s a series of copy-pastable lines that work in all sorts of scenarios.
– A flirty line;
– A fun answer to a boring question;
– Asking her out in a smooth way.
My team and friends use these lines on the regular and now I’m offering them to you for free.
3. Act like you’re the prize
This one little thing is one of the most important components of attraction. Yet, almost no one is aware of it:
Women like men who have standards.
Because it means that if they do end up with the guy, he chose her because she matched or even exceeded his expectations.
In other words, she was special to him. And EVERY girl wants to feel special.
Most guys, however, have only one criteria: is she gettable?
Fair enough. But if that’s the energy you give her, then she believes the odds that she can have you are…
*shakes magic eight ball*
“Without a doubt.”
And if she hasn’t done anything to earn that lovely reward, she figures that you don’t really care about anything besides her looks. So instead of special, she now feels icky.
So how do you become a man that she wants to date?
By showing you care about what type of women you spend your time with!
That means you need to know what turns you off and what turns you off. Once you get that figured out, you just need to let her what you’re about.
Let me give you 3 texts that do exactly that.
- “Yikes, bummer. That wasn’t the right answer. The Beatles are the best band ever. -5 points.”
- “Okay, I’ll check out that movie of yours. But lord help me if it isn’t good!”
- “I’m not sure if I can forgive you for this! Welllll maybe if you bake me some of those cookies you like to make. ;)”
4. Don’t hold back your opinions
If you’re like most guys, you’re making a horrible texting mistake.
You’re trying to make yourself as likable as possible. So you avoid saying anything that might rub her the wrong way.
Result? You turn yourself into a cute little puppy that she does NOT want to doink.
Do you know what does make women want to sleep with you?
And a great way to show that you’re confident is to be your unfiltered self.
That means that you’re willing to respectfully share your opinions and views even if she may not agree with them.
Women looove guys who can speak their minds. Even if she doesn’t share your feelings, she will like you for having the guts to be yourself.
Especially if you add a dash of playfulness.
- “You like How I Met Your Mother??? Wow. And to think I was just starting to like you 😿”.
- “You hate hummus? Dang, we’re so not right for each other”.
5. Be honest about what you like about her
IMPORTANT: I don’t recommend you share your lovey-dovey feelings with her.
We’ve all seen marriage proposals gone wrong.
A guy in the middle of a crowded shopping mall walking with his girl, suddenly drops to one knee. He looks up and sees his future wife has already sprinted halfway down the parking lot.
These public declarations of love may seem like #goals, but are super stressful for the person being proposed to.
So I’m not telling you to make any big romantic gestures.
Instead, keep it light and occasionally compliment the cool and fun things she says and does.
- “Hahaha that genuinely made me laugh out loud.”
- “You’re obsessed, dude! Just kidding. I actually really like how dedicated you are to your hobby.
Want more good lines to copy-paste into your convos? Check out this article:
6. Suggest that you like her
You know what a great way is to make her attracted to you? By playfully suggesting you’re already a couple.
My favorite technique to do this is…
You probably tend to talk in your conversations about “you” and “me”. Which emphasizes you’re not together.
You’re just two individuals talking.
But if you talk about “us” and “we”, you’re creating the idea of togetherness.
About being friends who go on adventures. Or a married couple who are about to break up.
Just like what happened to coach Jay:
*holds back tear*
Seriously though, creating fun scenarios together is a super powerful way to show interest.
Heck, even pretend texts like this:
If she runs with it, you know she’s probably a little interested too.
Step 2: Identify if she’s into you
Signs she’s not interested
Here’s some tough news: she may not be into you. Harsh, but it might be true.
These are the 5 most common signals that she’s not into you.
- She’s a slow texter. No matter how busy she is, if a girl likes you she will find time to reply to your texts on time.
- She’s not investing. Replies are not enough to prove she’s into you. Look at the ratio. You should both be investing an equal amount in the conversation.
- She only texts when she’s bored. A girl who’s into you will text you throughout the day, not just at times when she’s got nothing to do. She will reply even when she’s supposed to be doing other things.
- She doesn’t show much emotion. A girl who likes you is excited by you. So she’ll be laughing a lot, using butt loads of emojis and long quick bursts of texts.
- She does not drop hints that she wants to meet up. If you never get texts like, “Your home cooking looks delicious! I’d really like to try some one day :)” then she’s probably not into you.
Do you recognize some of the above signs? Then it’s not smart to tell her how you feel. Instead, you need to make her like you first.
Learn all about it in the next tip. Or read this article:
Do you text back and forth a lot but do you feel like you’re in the friendzone?
If you want to raise your attraction and eventually meet up with her, you need to…
Be less boring and more playful.
Or simply steal my 10 Texts That Always Work. Grab ’em here.
Signs she’s into you
If she shows you a mix of these 7 signs, she’ll almost certainly be happy to hear that you like her.
Let’s check them out.
- She’s impressed BY you. She may really admire your work ethic, how you deal with adversity, or your dope ass Pokémon collection.
- She replies quickly. She gets back to you fast and at all hours of the day.
- She sends you photos of herself. It might be a selfie, a photo of her legs at the beach, or something in between huehue.
- She talks in volumes. She doesn’t just send you a couple of texts, but a wall of texts.
- She talks to you about her day. A great sign, as long as she’s flirting with you. Otherwise, you may already be in the dastardly friend zone.
- She thinks that you’re funny. If you make her laugh all the time, she’s probably into you.
- She asks you questions. Girls typically don’t show interest in your life unless she plans on keeping you around.
Does your crush give you several of the above signs? She’s probably into you, dude. Better send her a Whatsapp, iMessage, or DM to show that you like her.
Can’t you tell if she likes you yet? Check out the next article:
Step 3: Tell her you like her over text
1. Make sure she’s available
There’s nothing worse than to express your feelings at the wrong time. Like if she’s having a day out with the girls or if her pet doggo is violently ill.
So before you make your intentions known, figure out what she’s up to or how she’s feeling.
Is she a bit slow to reply? Or does she not seem like her usual self? Then it’s better to keep the big reveal for another time.
The best time is when you’re having a fun and speedy conversation.
2. Don’t postpone forever
Look, I get it. Telling that you like her is scary. You might get rejected.
But you can’t wait for the stars to align. Eventually, you’re going to have to tell her. Unless you’re cool with her dating Chad Thundercock.
Plus, the longer you wait, the bigger the chances are that she’ll see you as just a friend.
So set yourself a deadline so you don’t ruin your chances with her.
3. Don’t make a big stink out of it
The moment you’ve all been waiting for…how to show tell your crush you like her over text.
Definitely not like this.
Even if she likes you, you’ve put her into a tough spot, she either has to yes to the date or reject you entirely. There’s little wiggle room for if she’s not quite ready yet.
That’s why you want to tell her you like her in a chill way. Now the whole ordeal doesn’t feel like a huge proposal.
Aaaand, if you’ve been having fun flirty conversations for weeks, then she’s probably expecting you like her anyway.
So no need to make a big deal out of it.
- “Hey, you probably already figured it out. But I have a bit of a crush on you. 😎 Lemme know if I can take you out.”
- “Let’s do coffee next week. I know a really cool place. And if you’re lucky, I may even hold your hand a little.”
4. Wait for her response
You obviously want to get her reaction ASAP. But sending more texts to motivate a reply from her will only make you seem desperate.
So once you drop the bomb, get outta there and forget all about it.
Focus on your everyday life. Your friends, hobbies, workouts, video games, books, whatever helps you take your mind off things.
Does she never send you a message back? That’s still a message, my poor bro. She doesn’t feel the same way.
5. Pay attention to detail
If she does text you back, pay close attention to all the details.
- Her tone. Does it seem different? Is she perhaps more serious than she usually is?
- Her emoji use. Is she typically a fan of emojis or no? Has something changed?
- Her timing. If she waited far longer than usual, it’s a sign she was struggling to come up with an answer and probably wasn’t very excited about your text.
The less herself she is, the more likely that she’s uncomfortable and not feeling the same as you.
6. Ask her out
Did she like you back? Awesome! Congratulations, my man!
Now it’s time to ask her out without seeming like you just won the lottery. A little excitement is fun, of course. But too much runs the risk of you seeming needy.
- “I knew you couldn’t resist. 😉 Let’s do drinks next week Wednesday or Friday. Does that work?”
7. Figure out what you want to do
If she broke your hopes and dreams, don’t ask why. That’s not going to get you anywhere.
You can’t force attraction. So just because she doesn’t like you back, doesn’t mean that you’re not a great dude. You’re just not a fit. End of story.
Where do you go from here?
That’s up to you. But I don’t recommend staying friends. At least, not until you move on. Otherwise, you’ll secretly be doing your best to win her over.
And that’s just going to hurt you even more down the road. Because if she doesn’t like you now, she probably won’t like you later.
So I recommend you take your space.
- “Hey, thanks for being so honest with me. I’m a little bruised but I’ll be fine. Do know that I need a little space to figure out what to do. So I won’t be texting you much. Is that cool?”
Once more time passes, you’ll have a better idea of whether or not you can stay friends.
That’s most of what you need to know about how to tell someone you like them over text.
Whether it’s via iMessage, DM, Whatsapp or Snapchat.
It all works the same.
Which means that you can use my highest response rate line to get her to reply across all platforms.
So you never have to be left on read again.
And don't forget your download below ;)