How to Text a Girl You Haven’t Met or Talked to

So you got a girl’s number who you haven’t been properly introduced to and you want to send her a message.

Or you have a crush on a girl who you know from social media, like Instagram.

There’s just one thing… you don’t know what to say.

All good. I’m about to tell you how to text a girl you haven’t talked to yet.

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Only text girls who have some clue who you are

Just because you can text her doesn’t mean you should. You see, getting a girl’s number without her blessing is already a bit strange.

Unless there’s some vague connection between you and her, sending her a text out of the blue will probably scare her a little.

After all, she doesn’t know you and has no idea how you got her number. So she doesn’t know what to expect.

That’s why you should NEVER text a girl unless one or more of the next circumstances are met:

  • You’re in the same group chat.
  • You asked for her number from one of her friends.
  • You’ve exchanged a few words with her in group settings.
  • She has a rough idea of who you are even though you’ve never officially met (think of environments that you both regularly visit, such as school, work, or some kind of group class).

Did you get her number off a contact sheet and you have practically ZERO ties to her?

Don’t text her.

What about someone on social media?

Imagine you want to text someone you follow on Instagram. They probably don’t know you. Maybe you liked some of their pics, but that’s about it.

Lucky for you, sending a message on Instagram is less intrusive than texting them on their phone number.

People know their Instagram is public, and it’s probably not the first time she gets a DM from a stranger.

It is, however, extra challenging to stand out. She probably has tons of other admirers also trying to message her.

For more on texting girls on Instagram, check out this article:

Or this article for social media in general:

1. Start with the truth

Reaching out to someone who you’ve never talked to is risky. Unless she already likes you, she’s likely to feel a little weirded out.

And if you don’t acknowledge the weirdness, she’s only going to feel more uncomfortable about the situation.

That’s why it’s good to start with the truth and tell her how you got her number and why you’re texting her.

Here are some examples.

Hey, a bit random. But me (communal friend) and a few other people from (shared friend group) are going to hang out Friday night and it’d be cool if you could join. Let me know if you’re interested. (Your name)

Only use this line if she’s close to your communal friend. If she’s not, she probably won’t feel comfortable enough to meet up.

Another example.

Hey, I know this may be a little rude, but I got your number from the group chat because I just wanted to personally tell you that (reason for texting)

Your reason for texting could be: “your joke in class today was awesome” or “you really pulled off that red lipstick look today” or “you really impressed me with (BLANK).”

Just stay away from superficial compliments on her appearance. (A daring color of lipstick isn’t superficial because she actually had to pick it out herself.)

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2. Break the tension with humor

If she can instantly connect your name to your face, try this. A joke.

If the situation allows for it, going straight for a joke is very powerful because you’re starting the conversation as if you’re already close.

The difficulty lies in how you phrase the joke. You obviously can’t break the ice with a lame pun or knock-knock joke. That only increases the creep factor.

Preferably, you break the ice through common ground. Perhaps something you both experienced today.

Hey, Sarah. (Your name) here. A bit random, but I just can’t shake the memory of that fart in yoga class today. I think you were the only one besides me who was laughing, so I feel like we’re partners in crime now. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your week.

See how chill that is? That’s the level of casual you want your text to have. Why? Because it’s non-threatening and very likely to lead to a reply.

For more on how to make her laugh over text, check out this video of mine:

3. Don’t go over the top

The average guy who has a little experience knows not to be boring.

So he’ll avoid the standard ‘Hey, how are you?’ Great.

But then he’ll make a different mistake and step into the bullshit: Going over the top.

This type of behavior is similar to the pizza-faced teen who wears bright purple polos with the collar up and talks with the volume of a megaphone.

He doesn’t get any success being normal, so he tries to be loud. But the results are the same.

So what’s the right way to text a girl you haven’t talked to before?

With playful confidence.

An example:

I know we don’t speak much, but I can’t believe this. (LINK TO A TRUSTWORTHY NEWSARTICLE ON A RECENT ROBBERY)

I won’t rat you out. Just thought you were better than that, Sarah. Sincerely, a disappointed citizen, (your name)

A decent text, if she recognizes who you are in an instant. That means if she’s never talked to you, she must have at least seen you dozens of times in an intimate setting. Like work, school, or your local gym’s spin class.

Why did I give you a decent text and not an awesome text?

Three reasons:

  1. I don’t know anything about her. The most awesome text would be something that ties into an inside joke, a movie she loves, or some other interest.
  2. I’m saving the best text for later (if you can’t wait, scroll all the way to the final tip).
  3. There is no awesome way to seduce a girl that you’ve never met or talked to with an out of the blue text, only an okay way.

After all, she’ll just think: “Why is he texting me if we’ve barely exchanged words? Kinda weird that he doesn’t just talk to me in person.”

So if you’re really serious about seducing this girl, your best bet is to talk to her face-to-face! Which I’ll explain how to do later.

What to do if you don’t get the desired response

Depending on your text and her life situation, you may not get the response you want.

It happens. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. Depending on what she says, you may still have a shot.

Check out my next article on how you can save a mediocre or failing conversation:

But before you try to save your convo from falling into the abyss, you must always keep this in mind: She doesn’t owe you anything. Not a good answer. Not an explanation. Heck, not even a reply.

You reached out to her without her consent, remember? Plus, if you’ve never been properly introduced, she doesn’t really know you. So you can’t exactly blame her for a lukewarm reaction.

Anyway, all this means that you shouldn’t be blowing up her phone with texts and trying to convince her of how awesome you are.

That’s creepy. And I’m pretty confident you’re not that type of guy. So be chill.

Best way to seduce a girl you haven’t met or talked to

This is without a doubt the best way to win over a girl that you haven’t met or talked to.

Say hi in real life.

Introduce yourself. If you’re really into a girl who often visits the same places as you, it shouldn’t be difficult to strike up a conversation. Especially if you’re already part of her social circle.

Look, I know talking to a girl you like is scary. So make it easy. Find ways to meet her in a group setting.

Organize a BBQ or dinner party and invite a mix of people from your social circle and hers.

Being around your friends will give you confidence. And asking out her friends will make it very likely that she’ll want to join.

Even if you don’t seduce her at the event, it’ll still be a success because now she’s officially met you.

Which means that it’s much easier to text her and get a good reply.

So do the right thing and say hi before you reach out over text.

To help you out once you finally get the conversation going, grab my free 10 Texts That Always Work.

Whether you:

  • Don’t know what to reply.
  • Want to shift the convo from boring to fun.
  • Or want to ask her out…

…the 10 Texts have it all.

Grab them here.

And be sure to grab my opener with the highest response rate across all dating platforms.

Find it below by hitting the big gold button.


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