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How to Text an Older Woman: The Step-by-Step Guide

If you’re a younger guy wondering how to text an older woman

You’re in the right place. Grab a seat!

If you’re a bit older yourself, don’t hesitate and grab a seat as well.

There’s valuable texting lessons for anyone that wants to text an older lady.

You’ll get:

  • Your guide to texting with older women
  • 3 MILF Myths busted
  • How I became a toyboy for a smoking hot businesswoman
  • The correct way to handle age difference
  • The type of texts older women prefer (and the type they can’t stand)
  • The three A’s that scare off a mature woman
  • How to text an older woman sexually
  • Screenshot examples of conversations with a MILF
  • Text or call? The best option for older women

Louis - The TextGod
Hey, Louis here. I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

Texting and dating an older woman comes with many prejudices. Myths like ‘all older women are boring,  married, or wants a relationship.” will be countered with evidence in this article. Followed by texting and dating tips on how to meet these interesting ladies.

#1: Understanding older women

Your success with older women starts here.

You and I are going to debunk 3 milfy myths.

Some of them are easy to agree with…

…others you’ll have to believe after I show you ✨proof✨.

Time for the first MILF myth:

Chatting with older ladies is boring

That title you just read, that’s one of the biggest lies ever.

But most men believe it to be true.

That is… men who haven’t found out the truth yet.

It is definitely true that chatting through text is different with older women.

But it’s not because those women are 30+, 40+, or even 50+

See the biggest differences between your University popular girl, and an older woman, is this:

The older woman has already been where the younger girl is still heading.

This means she has played all the games before.

The result?

Older women can handle more directness.

A profile as fake as Pamela Anderson’s bust, but it goes well with my point.

But be careful, this does NOT mean you can skip the teasing and flirting, and go straight for a meetup or hookup.

More on this later, including screenshot examples.

But first, MILF myth number 2:

All older women want a relationship

My god, I was shocked when I started to better understand older women…

One thing that quickly became clear is that these ladies can be more set on their freedom than any other age group.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a bold partly unsubstantiated claim here.

People assume that older women are the group most looking for a relationship.

I’d say that’s wrong. That’s probably girls in high school, binging on Hollywood romantic dramas like The Notebook. And then once they go off to University, the biggest part of them still wants a relationship. Not as many as in high school… but a good amount of them. Although they’ll be less likely to admit.

A good amount of older women has been through their share of relationships and heartbreaks.

The result?

They’re more focussed on themselves and their own growth.

Whether it be personal or career-wise.

Oh btw, it’s also proven that older women want more sex. Let me just throw that out there.

And even those women who ARE looking for a relationship can be persuaded for something more short-term. The way you text her influences this, but more on that later.

It all doesn’t matter anyway if all older women are married already, right?!

All older women are married

Did you think all older women are off the market?

I’ll let the facts speak for me:

In the United States 35% of women between 30 and 55 are not married.

In the United Kingdom 40% of the people between 30-34 are single.

By the time they get to 50-54, numbers go down to 10%.

Now that this is out of the way, lets seduce some older females over chat.

But before you start texting her, don’t make these rookie mistakes when you’re sending older women a message:

#2: How to text an older woman: Tailor to age

It’s a classic scenario that happens online and offline:

Younger guy runs into an older woman.

He didn’t think this could happen…

…but he’s attracted to her.

The way she carries herself is so different from women his age. He easily connects on a much deeper level with her, contrary to more superficial-seeming girls his own age.

The opportunity presents itself to get to know her a bit better.

So what does our guy do?

He does what seems logical to him.

Which is exactly what all other guys before him did.

He makes all mistakes he can make.

See, when text flirting an older woman you’ll have to do things that are counter intuitive.

And if you don’t… you’ll be making the same 3 rookie mistakes everyone else makes.

Mixing my own experiences with some good ol’ science, I present to you…

The Three A’s

American Automobile Association

Wait… wrong one.

Here’s the real Three A’s:

Act your age

It’s the most common mistake when dating older women.

You’re talking to someone that is many years of live experience ahead of you.

So what do you?

You try to impress her.

You may be younger, but you’ve had a couple rides on life’s roller coaster as well.

And you’re plan is to show her just that. So she knows you’re not a silly ol’ kiddo. You’re as much of a man as the guys her age.

Little did you know… that’s the opposite of what she wants from you.

Know what a younger guy pretending to be all mature and seasoned looks like?

Like a 50 year old wearing the same clothes as his son, trying desperately to be hip.

In tip #3 I’ll tell you what older women REALLY want from younger guys, and how to give it to them.

But first, make sure you don’t make the other two mistakes

Avoid acting like a child

There’s one way of texting that’s more typical for younger guys…

…and it’s a massive turn off to older women.

In fact, it’s a huge turn off to girls of any age.

72% of participants in a Zoosk study said they are less likely to text back if someone make spelling mistakes in their texts.

Rest assured this is even more the case when texting an older woman.

A twenty-year-old may forgive you for a grammar mistakes and an extra emoji…

…a grown woman has less time to waste.

Heyyyy 😜 ever been to cocktail bar death & company? They have gr8 drinks their!! 😜

(I legitimately feel awful typing bad example texts like that)

The only place she thinks of taking you to after a text like that, is the ball pool at McDonalds. She’ll buy you a Happy Meal if you stay there while she drives off.

Want to greatly increase your luck with a lady?

Proofread your spelling and grammar, and keep those childish emojis out.

Because all your immature text message did, was emphasize the age difference.

In a bad way.

Talking about age difference…

Avoid being serious or dramatic about age difference

I’m pretty sure you’ve had this situation before, and it annoyed you:

You’re having a night out with some friends when you see her…

…she’s beautiful and before you know it, you’re talking to her.

Just when you think all was going well she asks your age.

You tell her the truth and her reaction is not what you hoped for.

Even though the whole conversation felt great, suddenly you’re “too young for her”.

(A situation at least one student found himself in whenever I taught seduction bootcamps.)

And oftentimes, it’s not the age that matters but the way the guy told his age.

The uncertainty in his voice and the hope for approval.

The key is to be sure of yourself, and pretty much behave like you usually do.

In fact, research has shown us exactly what kind of behavior turns these older women on.

And I’m going to tell you exactly how to go about it, in the next tip.

You’ll understand what texts work on her, and what texts don’t.

And because I suddenly got a bit melancholic thinking back about my first foursome with a MILF in it, I’m going to give you 10 texts that always work. Also on your crush.

Download them so we can get to the good stuff, coming at you in the next tip.

#3: The correct way to handle the age dynamic (DO THIS!)

In this tip you’ll learn what makes older women want you.

I already told you about the mistakes to avoid. Now I’ll tell you about the RIGHT moves to make.

Which is the direct opposite of the mistake.

While most men will try to impress her, you will do the opposite.

You will embrace being the younger, less experienced, youthy, fun, energetic guy.

It all makes perfect sense when you dissect both options.

The guy who makes himself seem older, wiser, and more mature than he is, ends up:

  • Telling lies
  • Making up a persona that will break down sooner than later
  • Destroy your self confidence in the long run

All the effort and pretending for nothing, because guess what she really wants?

This study, and this study, revealed her true cravings:

  • Your youthfulness and energy
  • Feeling young again
  • Feeling extra attractive
  • Feeling wanted
  • Feeling powerful because of extra sexual experience
  • Expressing her sexual desire
  • Being with a guy who has the physical ability to satisfy her
  • Not being judged or criticized for being highly desiring
  • A reliable erection

Wooooooh, what a list.

And there’s more, but this suffices to make my point.

Stop overlooking all the qualities you already have.

It’s when you started acting like something you’re not (in order to get her to like you) that you screw up and scare her away.

Of the irony.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s look at how to start talking to an older woman over text.

Once we got that part covered, we’ll look at one of my Tinder conversations with an absolute dreamboat of a MILF.

#4: How to start texting with an older woman on dating apps / Tinder

You found a gorgeous older woman and want to start a conversation

…but what opener gets her interested, and makes her text back?

We already learned that behaving in a special way just because she is older, won’t get you anywhere.

In fact, my #1 opener works on older women really well.

On the image above you see me opening a Swedish mother that was all sorts of hot.

The opener I used is one that relies a couple simple, but powerful principles.

It combines self-interest with clickbait.

It’s my opener that has the highest chance of getting a response.

I explain how to use it, and what texts to follow up with in this private video. One of the example conversations in the video, is with this older woman.

Check it out, and then try it out for yourself!

#5: How to seduce an older woman over text: Breakdown!

It’s time to give you what you really want…

I’ve got something that gives you a better idea on how to text an older woman.

Two words that make any reader grin:

Screenshot Examples

Grab a snack and a drink and get comy, this story is a juicy one.

Allow me to give you a bit of context:

Years back, when I was younger and less experienced, I found myself in Germany.

A good friend of mine lives there, and we try to see each other every year.

This year I traveled down to his city for a few days filled with comradery and adventure.

We always went out on adventures to do all sorts of stupid things.

Like climbing an old abandoned building. And once we got to the top, we stripped down and made an artsy photograph.

Needlessly to say such a photo accompanied with a challenging caption worked wonders to get girls on Instagram


In between activities we’d rest at my friend’s apartment.

And resting really only meant one thing: Tinder.

Now at this point in my life I had been focusing mostly on girls my age.

(Except that one time I got fired ay my student job and then later fückêd my boss’ boss who was 21 years older.)

Either way, we were swiping and I came across the profile of a woman 11 years older than me. She already had a daughter and a successful career.

I on the other hand, was a student. And not a very successful one at that…

Moneywise I was as broke as a student can be.

So how does a broke, exam-failing student seduce a successful and stunningly beautiful older woman?

Let’s find out…

#6: Don’t hide your intentions

If you want to meet an older woman, there’s a first rule to obey:

Don’t hide your intentions.


This doesn’t mean you do this:

Hey, I’m glad we matched because I really want to meet an older woman.

(I hope it’s clear why you shouldn’t text this. If it isn’t clear then just keep reading and it will be.)

You have to be direct in your intentions, yes.

But you ALWAYS have to be direct in your intentions, no matter if your crush is 25 or 55.

No matter if you’re talking to her in a club or over Tinder.

That’s because being clear with your intentions is a crucial part of texting an older woman sexually.

The art of sexualizing.

Back when I still coached bootcamps on the regular, I told my students this:

When you’re talking to a girl you like, and after 5 minutes I walk past and ask her:

“Why do you think this guy is talking to you?”

And she says anything other than:

“He is hitting on me.”

Then my student is failing.

He is hiding his intentions.

The same goes for you and that older woman you’re talking to via text.

If it isn’t clear to her that you want to do all sorts of bad things to her…

…then you’re failing.

That’s why I’ll often casually tell my match what I have on my planning.

I like to start things off very casual, sketching the situation:

Just visiting my buddy here in Germany

Then I very casually checked Tinder, not like I really care or something…

Opened Tinder, saw your 36 year old face and wanted to say hi

While teasing her.

In general, teasing with age is an effective strategy when texting older women. But it can also be overdone or done poorly. More on that later.

One pitfall with teasing, is that it takes over and suffocates the conversations.

That’s why it’s important to balance it out with the opposite of a tease.

Let’s see how you do that in the next tip…

#7: Compliment her (appearance) but do it like this

You’ll lose any older woman if you don’t get this right.

See, in the last tip we briefly talked about teasing.

I told you to be careful and not to overdo it.

When you’re teasing you want to keep a healthy balance in your conversation.

You do this by sometimes doing the OPPOSITE of teasing.

By complimenting her for example, but there’s plenty of other ways too.

(A tease creates friction. A compliment removes friction.)

Let’s look at a screenshot example from the same conversation.

At one point she throws an age related question at me.

You can bet your ass you’ll get something along these lines with almost every older woman.

She says:

And an “old” lady really turns you on?

This is what pick-up guys and all other types of seducers call ‘a shit test’ or a ‘test’.

Whatever you wish to call it, your answer here is decisive for the rest of the conversation.

What do you think the number one way to phuck up here is?

Stop reading, and turn on your brain again.

What do you think is the #1 way to answer her challenging question wrongly.

Think about it now, it can save your date with an awesome woman.

Here’s a picture of a woman that’s probably a MILF so you don’t see the answer yet.

So how do you fuck up here?

If your answer was ‘by justifying yourself’ Then good.

You’re not a novice.

That’s ALSO very true.

But any answer that made her feel unsexy or unwanted, is a bad answer.

Remember what found out earlier from all those scientific studies.

Older women like younger men because they make can make them feel extra attractive. You can make her feel DESIRED.

And since she’s getting a day older, she probably has some insecurities about her fleeting beauty.

Hence why I replied like this:

And an “old” lady really turns you on?

It’s mostly your face that does the turning on

Later, when she sent me some photos, I replied:

Not so bad for a 36 year old

Which is backhanded compliment and also my favorite kind of compliment.

But be careful with the age related remarks…

#8: This is how you handle the age difference

Another way most men mess up their romance with an older woman…

They go about the age difference the wrong way.

In this tip I’m going to give you the WRONG way to go about it.

And the RIGHT way to go about it.

Let’s start with the wrong way, so you can make sure to prevent that one from happening.

Most men that want to meet an older woman get really excited when the opportunity presents itself.

Resulting in them being overly enthusiastic…

…which at its turn results in the guy acting overly horny about the age difference.

  • Don’t tell her how hot it is that she is X years older.
  • Don’t tell her you’re just X years old and that this is so wrong.
  • Don’t tell her she could be your mom.

Don’t tell her anything like that. Save that for when for when you have successfully seduced her and you’re both naked.

Right now you still have to seduce her.

The trick is to act like with any other girl.

Hence why when she brings up the age difference, you play it cool.

And an “old” lady really turns you on?

It’s mostly your face that does the turning on

That’s how you prevent the WRONG way to handle her age.

Now for the RIGHT way.

A fun way to make the conversation extra flirty and playful…

…is by exaggerating the age difference.

If you notice responds well to tease and is up for some verbal sparring, then you can try to flirt with her by exaggerating the age difference.

In this case I quickly started calling her grandma.

To which she responded by calling me toy boy, kid, and child.

This makes flirting and teasing easy for the rest of the conversation.

You’re welcome baby

The double meaning when you call me baby

And now matter how much she realizes you are just joking when you call her ‘grandma’, it will always sting a little bit. Just what a good tease needs to do.

By showing her that you are comfortable joking about the age difference, you show her that you’re fine with it.

And that’s important. If she notices you are doubting yourself, you’ll be dumped in no time.

#9 Don’t text her too often, do this instead:

There’s a way to quickly impress an older woman over text message.

See, texting is nice and effective when you’re good at it.

But when you don’t have 7 PhDs in Seductive SMS Engineering…

…then there’s a trick to still make the same impact as a pro.

And that is by replacing your texts…

…with voice messages, or actual calls.

If you’re confident that you can hold a real time conversation and keep it fun, then go ahead and give her a call sometime.

Holy Tip:

When calling or recording voice messages, make sure you’re doing something else at the same time.

While talking to her, the simple act of washing the dishes or going for a walk, distracts your mind just the right amount to sound just that extra bit careless.

If you’re calling your crush while standing still, focussing on the conversation 100%, it will feel like the most important task ever.

Kick a ball around, throw it at a wall, clean your desk, play with your pet, …

It’s just a casual call between two cool people of equal value.

If you’d rather play it a bit safer, then try voice messages.

The upside of voice messages is that you can record them as often as you want, and cancel the recording at any time.

And if you want to go all out and cheat a little bit, you can do a quick voice warmup before each voice message.

So that the first time she hears your voice, she thinks you just won the Sexiest Male Voice Award.

If you now think:

“Lol Louis are you serious mate? You warm up your voice before sending a voice message? Are you fokkin’ ghey bruv?”

Then let me tell you…

…if warming up your voice before a call or voice message makes someone fokkin’ ghey

…then I sure am.

Oh and also this:

On to the next tip!

Which is a video so you can let your ears take some of your eyes’ workload.

#10: Need more chatting tips for older women?

In this tip I’ll teach you how to text an older woman…

…because I already told you that you have to treat her like any other girl…

…but how exactly do you do that?

Allow me to tell you a quick story:

When I send a girl on Instagram a picture that has me in it…

…I will rarely put a filter over it.

Even though filters can make you look twice as hot.

Your skin will seem flawless and wrinkles will vanish.

(I’m not sure about you, but I’m 31 and boy, my wrinkles are popping up everywhere.)

But when you send a photo directly to one girl, and you put a filter on it…

…then you are sub communicating the following:

I want to look my very best for you, because I really want you to like me.

Besides, I’m not very happy with how I look.

It’s also why I make sure my social media profiles have photos from different angles.

If every shot shows the same angle, then I’m sub communicating that I’m a tryhard.

A tryhard whose main goal is to look his very best in photos.

And some women will pick up on that. Costing you some points in their mind.


That’s why I rarely put a filter over Instagram DM photos.

Another thing I never filter, are my text messages to girls.

Not on Instagram and not on any other texting platform.

Because I know that ALL men DO filter their texts.

Sub communicating:

I put way too much importance on your opinion of me.

Which puts you in a position where you can never ever ever get her to fall for you.

Not a position you want to be in, is it?

The good news? I made a video where I am sharing my trick to DESTROY your filters.

And give girls the room to chase you until they can’t fall asleep without you appearing in their dreams.

Watch it here:

How about another video?

This time it’s about asking her out.

#11: How to court older women to the date

Got no issues asking women out?

Then by all means skip this short 5 minute video.

If you feel like you can hone your asking-out-skills…

…then here’s a vid about just that:

Or if you prefer to read, I’ve written an extensive guide on how to ask girls out over text.

By now you should have plenty of weapon in your arsenal to successfully text, ask out, and date an older woman.

Should you for whatever reasons still have any doubt about that grandma you’re secretly fantasizing about…

…then the next tip will take away all your doubts.

#12: Three extra benefits of chatting with older women

This tip will take away all doubt that dating an older woman is unfavorable.

Here’s three reasons why:

#1 Relationships with older women are more stable

Research showed us that most relationships between a cougar (a middle-aged woman seeking a romantic relationship with a younger man) aren’t usually just flings.

The average life expectancy of these relationships is two years. This While some younger men and cougars end up getting married.

Fun fact: Women who were married before have the highest chance of going for a younger guy.

#2 Older women know how to fire you up

I could nose about some studies that prove this…

…or I could tell you this based on personal experience and hope you trust me <3

I’ll do a bit of both.

Firsty, studies have shown that couples over 50 have the best sex.

This is for a great part because they are confident with their bodies and they dare communicating to their partner what feels good.

Unfortunately for you, you can’t change your age.

But you CAN pick the age of your partner.

And if you keep following TextGod then you’ll soon have the sexual experience of a 169-year-old. You’ll be schooling those MILFs and cougars!

Secondly, I have had some magical (and also one less magical) experiences with milfs and cougars.

I can personally vouch for great numbers of them.

Your odds of running into a starfish are lower

Your odds of receiving enthusiastic and efficient head are higher

And they don’t act all awkward one the show is over

It’s a win win win.

#3 An experienced women is ‘fun’

Much of this overlaps with reason #2.

I mean what’s not fun about someone that knows how to turn you on and make you climax?

But I also found it fun that these women often have their shit together.

She can just drive to your place late at night and leave whenever she wants.

She can cook for you, or treat you to a nice dinner.

She can take the whole ‘younger guy and older woman’ thing to the next level and throw cash at you when you dress up to leave her house.

Personally I found all three of these fun.

Try them out and see if you find them fun too.

And then let me know over email.

#13: Chatted all the way to the date? Let me prepare you quickly

This tip gives you a record speed preparation for your date.

So that when the opportunity presents itself…

…you didn’t spend all that time wondering how to get a 50 year old woman in bed for nothing.

Here’s 5 simple rules for your date:

#1 You can’t be the broom if you don’t groom

It pains me to say it but some men don’t seem to realize the importance…

  • Get a haircut
  • groom your beard
  • brush your teeth
  • Wear perfume but not too much
  • And put on clothes that FIT your body type

#2 She’s a grown woman, you’re a MAN.

Behave like a man when you’re with her.

Sure, you are younger and have that youthful energy going for you…

…this doesn’t mean that you’re acting like a manchild or a little boy.

You lead this date like you would lead any other date.

You tease her and you sexualize when the time is right.

(Sexualizing, Leading, Teasing, and Understanding are the four pillars on which your success are based when chatting with older women. You can read all about them in my article on how to get laid on Tinder. The rules apply to all texting, not just Tinder.)

#3 She’s not that kind of older woman

Have some social intelligence.

One of the four pillars I talked about just seconds ago, is ‘Understanding’.

That means being aware of where her mind is at. What she wants.

And you know what she wants, because we discussed that in Tip #3 earlier in the article.


She might be a MILF, but she’s not your mother.

#4 Straight or gay, be straightforward

In the first tip of this article, I told you that older women have played all the games before.

They tend to value their time more than younger girls.

This screenshot example of mine is a good summary:

Matched her on Tinder, opened her with my Clickbait Opener, moved her to Telegram (the most commonly used texting app in Eastern Europe), and well… the rest is history.

#5 Don’t drown your hair in gel

I know, I already said to get a haircut and groom yourself properly.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to bash TextGod cofounder, coach, and good ol’ friend Dan.

This is millennia before he even thought about dating older women but still, look at his silly haircut hahaha.



That, my dearest gentleman, is pretty much all you need to know on how to text an older woman.

Good luck, have fun, and download my free stuff right below this article.

I love you.

Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

And don't forget your download below ;)

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Do you know what's strangly irresistible, even in texting? The psychological principle of clickbait!

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