How To Tinder: Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To Tinder [2023]

You want to meet women online, but need some guidance.

You came to the right place!

Today’s article teaches you exactly how to Tinder and how to get more matches and dreams than you thought was possible.

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

1. Keep the selfies for yourself

Over 90% of selfies suck.

Studies show that women have little trust in men with generic selfies.

But not all selfies are equal.

If you know what makes a photo appealing, your selfie can earn you lots of matches.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

If you want to wow the ladies with your selfies, you must first know how to keep them from gagging.

Here are three reasons why selfies cost you matches:

  1. Selfies create a bad first impression. “Doesn’t he have friends?” “Doesn’t he go to places where other people can take his picture?” “Is he in love with himself?”
  2. Selfies are staged and unnatural. Spontaneous photos always look best.
  3. Selfies distort your face up to 30%.

2. Tell good stories

I’m going to tell you what’s keeping you from getting the high-quality matches you crave.

An attractive profile.

That’s a big DUH, right? Or is it?

Because what the eff does an attractive profile look like?

Photos where you show off your Model S Tesla? 9 close-ups of your chiseled body? Or a single snapshot of your gaming setup?

None of the above.

The point of your profile is to give women a sneak peek at your life. A little taste of what being with you is like.

Because that’s exactly what Tinder should be leading to… a real life date!

If all 9 of your Tinder photos are headshots of you, she has NO clue who she’s about to invite into her life.

So what do you do?

You shoot photos that tell stories.

Let’s give you an example.

A shot of you and your pooch.

What’s the story?

  • You’re friendly.
  • You’re caring.
  • You’re responsible.

What can another photo say about your life and personality, and make her want to join you?

A photo of you surfing? A shot of you in a roller coaster? A close-up of you on Mt. Fuji?

Take your pick.

3. Make use of contrast

Pictures where you blend into the background might make her reject you.

That’s no exaggeration.

Neurological research shows that the more her brain has to work to process your photo, the more likely she’ll toss your profile in the Tinder trash.

Blending into the background like a chameleon is bad for your matches.

How do you increase your matches?

By upping the contrast.

Compare the next two Tinder photos.

Murky grey vs. bright and colorful.

Which of the two steals your attention?

Obviously the second one.

But do you also feel how the right image is more pleasant to look at?

You can create a similar effect.

Either stand in front of a contrasting background, or edit your snapshots with a photo editor like Photoshop.

Then play around with the brightness and saturation settings.

The goal is to make your image bright and colorful, without seeming fake.

4. Strike a balance between pro and schmo

High-quality photos make you seem more attractive, but they can also turn her off.


A profile filled with 1080P Super-duper 4 K HD photos seem a little try hard.

Plus, they often look a little fake.

Add some normal mobile phone photos into the mix for a more real and authentic vibe.

5. Keep your openers exciting

Most dudes start conversations on Tinder in a way that puts girls to sleep.

I like to call ’em, peasant openers.

Here are some examples:

  • Hey
  • How are you?
  • Hi!
  • How’s your day going?
  • Hello there

Obviously, this will work once every while. But even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Keep it simple, original and playful.

6. Create an irresistible first photo

When it comes to getting matches, the world’s best Tinder photos will still fail…

…if your first photo sucks.

Harsh, but understandable.

Would you try a delicious meal if it looked like a freshly squeezed cow pie?

Doubt it.

Similarly, she won’t look at the rest of your album if your first photo makes you look like a potato.

So where do you start?

Don’t make her think.

These are the results of a study on the most attractive online datingphotos.

Here’s what got the best results:

  • A headshot, starting from your pecs.
  • A quiet background with no distractions.
  • A clear contrast between you and the background.

To help you out, here are two good examples of an attractive first photo.

If you want to know more about creating an attractive first photo, check out the next article:

7. Swipe with dignity

When you’re new to Tinder, it’s tempting to swipe everyone right.


Liking every girl sends Tinder a bad message:

  • You’re a bot.
  • You have no standards and are probably desperate.

What does Tinder do to users with a broken Nope button?

The app buries you under a mountain of other profiles where you’ll never be found.

In short, swiping everyone leads to no matches.

So be selective.

8. Stay fun

Most men, bless their hearts, are bad texters.

What do these gentlemen get wrong?

They’re boring.

Even if she texts first, a boring answer is enough to put the conversation to rest.


Just take a look at the next Tinder convo:

Most women on Tinder get bombarded with texts. The prettier she is, the messier her inbox.

Your job is to smash through the mess and grab her attention.

The best way to do it?

Send emotionally charged texts.

If your opener triggers an emotional response, you create interest.

The more emotion your message sparks, the more likely you are to get a reply.

And that’s all you want.

9. Write original openers

If you’re not built like Action Man, you need to stand out with an exciting opener.

An opener she hasn’t heard before.

A personal opener.

After matching, carefully study her bio and photo album.

Note anything that sticks out to you, that is NOT her looks. Doesn’t matter how small.

  • Whether it’s a decoration on her wall.
  • A drink in her hand.
  • Or a place you’ve visited yourself.

Just yesterday a client asked me to come up with a good Tinder opener for his new Tinder match.

As I went over her profile, the next photo stood out to me:

I instantly knew what I liked about her.

All I did next was put my thoughts into words:

You’re the first person I’ve seen who has a living room with the floor of a toilet


This icebreaker is good for three reasons:

  • It’s probably the first time anyone has mentioned her floor (instead of her looks).
  • It leads the conversation to fun.
  • It ignores her very obviously hot body and sets you apart from the rest.

10. Creating a bio that makes her text you first

Bios are actually crazy important.

A study by OkCupid says that the odds of a date are 150% higher when the woman texts first.

So what type of bio moves a girl to message you first?

A bio that has enough intrigue and triggers excitement.

That’s why copy-pasted bios usually don’t work.

How do you write a personal bio that blows her away?

  1. Keep it short. About 2 sentences or 140 characters.
  2. Be different.
  3. Challenge her.

Let me give you an example.

Shout out to my introverts who actually enjoyed the peace and quiet of the lockdown.


Everyone who says they enjoy olives is lying. Change my mind.

11. Accept your imperfections

In the next 60 seconds, you’ll discover the trick behind Tinder texts that make her excited to meet you.

Whether it’s online or offline, the biggest turn on for women is…


And that doesn’t come from trying to be perfect!

It’s mostly about fully embracing who you are. Flaws and all.

Why does that make women all tingly in the right places for you?

Because 99% of people are focused on tricking people into liking them by being something they’re not.

When she sees you’re completely okay with yourself, you almost seem like a superhero.

So how do you do all this?

Have the cojones to speak your mind and accept your social flubs.

Did your joke bomb? “My joke bombed so hard a guy is about to fly it into the Twin Towers.”

Do you share a different opinion than her? “I hate to break it to you, Sarah (whatever her name is). But you’re wrong. Yugioh IS for adults and I don’t care what you say!”

12. Get her from match to relationship

Although it’s convenient, online dating is NOT easy.

Unless… you have a TextGod to show you the way funnel.

The TextGod Tinder funnel

Here’s what it should look like.

  1. Have an irresistible Tinder profile. Download my dating profile checklist to see how to build one.
  2. Make her excited to meet you over text.
  3. Ask her out once you see enough signs of interest.
  4. Be curious if she’s right for you on the first date.
  5. Show interest based on the right things on every other date until you’re married with 3 kids and a dog.

The secret sauce that makes women effortlessly slide through your Tinder funnel?


The easier you can get new matches, light-hearted Tinder conversations and dates…

The easier it is to seduce the woman of your dreams.

13. Avoid these 3 common date mistakes

Hollywood has smashed attraction-killing ideas of romance into our heads for decades.

Now the worst date ideas are the average Joe’s favorite.

And probably yours too.

  • Avoid time-sucking activities. You don’t want to be locked into a marathon date with a girl you don’t like.
  • Keep it low investment. Going to Disneyland or a Beyoncé concert puts pressure on your date to ‘put out’.
  • Have extra entertainment. If it’s just you and her in an empty café making small talk, every silence has a tendency to feel awkward. Now she’s likely to think there’s no chemistry.

14. Give her the perfect date experience

Swipe your crush off her feet with the next tried and tested dating strats.

With over a 100+ Tinder dates under my belt, I know the strategy to a successful first date.

And it’s this.

See the evening as a series of mini-dates.

A mimosa at a cocktail bar, a slice of pizza at the local pizza joint, a game of Jenga in the park, and browsing a thrift shop or flea market.

By keeping it dynamic, you’re lowering stress. Increasing excitement. And making it a night to remember.

Do you like her?

Let it be known by giving her a little smooch.

15. Get her excited for the 2nd date

This is how you send a good text after the first date.

Match the vibe from the date.

If you were a mellow guy, don’t turn your text into a comedy skit.

If you were shy, don’t act as if you’re Rambo.

Once you get that down, write your text using the next template:

Hey [her name]. I enjoyed [reference a specific part of the date] and your company wasn’t bad either.

For example:

Hey Mirte. I liked your dance moves and your company wasn’t bad either

A few variations that include a little joke:

Another example:

Despite you being a turtle killing, league addict. You were kinda cool yesterday. Let’s passionately hold hands again some time

Relax, bros.

Get off the PETA hotline.

I don’t date turtle poachers.

This girl accidentally stepped on her pet turtle when she was six years old. She’s very sweet and loving now.

Anyway, as you can see, you have a lot of freedom with the first text after the date.

If you want more advice on what to text, download my 10 Texts That Always Work.

Just hit the link.

And for more on texting, check out my article on what to text after the first date.


Louis Farfields.

And don't forget your download below ;)

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