You got a girl’s number or are talking on Tinder. Perhaps you even went on a date.
But then she didn’t reply and you realize:
“She ghosted me!”
This article explains why girls ghost guys and how to get her attention back.In this article:More...
The moment she ghosted you explains a lot
First, let’s have a look at when she ghosted you. To figure out the real reason, this is the first thing to look at.
If she ghosted you before your first date: You probably failed to create attraction. Or you didn’t make her feel safe.
If she ghosted you quickly after the first date: You failed to create a connection or failed to create deep attraction.
If she ghosted you after a couple of dates: You most likely failed to create a deep emotional connection or she feels you to aren’t a match.
In the following reasons why she ghosted you we go deeper into the specifics.
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10 Reasons why she ghosted you
1. You were too sexual too fast
Many men steer the conversation with their donger. And send overly sexual messages to quick.
They forget however that women aren’t turned on instantly like a lightswitch and their brain is wired differently.
The problem with being overly cocky or sexual is that it moves the conversation TOO fast.
You’re forcing her to make a snap decision:
“Do I like him enough to continue or not?”
Because she barely knows you, her choice is based on almost nothing.
Which means the odds are at least 69% against you.
And I don’t like those numbers except in the bedroom.
So take the directness down a notch.
2. You were not showing your true intentions
By far, most guys stimulate women too little.
Rather than put their sex pickle behind the wheel, they tape their cocktapus down so they look like a Ken doll. Put simply, they hide their sexual intentions.
And then they try to win a girl over with compliments and friendly chit-chat.
It’s all very nice. But if she’s looking for male companionship, rather than a text buddy, this type of behavior gets you ghosted.
To get laid or get a girlfriend, you must show there is a possibility of sex.
3. You made her too important
Showing interest in a person is one of the greatest compliments you can give someone. But it can also be one of the worst gifts you give someone.
Let me explain.
We all want to feel special. But only by someone we like.
And how do we usually grow to like someone we just met?
By earning their love and attention.
Did you give your love and attention to her for free?
Then she probably doesn’t care for it.
In fact, if you made her your priority even though she didn’t do anything to deserve, she’d probably freak out.
And ghost you.
A typical way to show to much interest if by double texting all the time.
Check out this video where I’ll explain when double texting is too much:
4. Your texts are to plain and boring
This is for you if your favorite icebreaker is ‘hey’.
Look, ‘hey’ and its many cousins aren’t usually enough for a girl to instantly dislike you.
But it’s a strong sign that you’re probably not the most fun and flirty person to chat with. And that drastically increased your odds of being ghosted.
Texting is supposed to be fun and engaging. Why else would she bother talking to you.
Luckily, being fun and flirty is a skill that can be learned! Just read and watch my free content.
No time to learn and need an answer now?
5. You didn’t create sparks on the date
If she didn’t text you after the first date, this is usually the answer.
She didn’t feel a spark.
Yes, she felt attracted enough to go on a date with you. But you didn’t manage to impress her enough.
- You didn’t manage to create fun and engaging conversations
- You were’t able to increase attraction.
Remember, being good at texting is one thing, but in real life there’s non-verbals, tonality and everything else a text leaves to the imagination.
And instead of telling you, she chose to ghost you. Pretty harsh.
But also incredibly common.
Keep in mind that she probably has dozens of other guys who will sprint out of their man cave to meet her at a moment’s notice.
While I agree it’s rude to ghost after a date, she doesn’t really owe you anything either. She barely knows you.
Anyway, no stress.
Take this opportunity to improve your Tinder profile and get more matches.
6. You’re making too much spelling mistakes
Grammar, spelling, and punctuation may not seem like a big deal. But it can be a big turn-off for women.
Heck, I bet you’re not exactly a fan of spelling mistakes either.
So be sure to double-check your texts before hitting ‘send’.
7. Her priorities shifted
If a cute girl who you KNOW liked you, ghosted you like Casper, here’s why.
Life probably got in the way.
- She’s busy: stuck in the rat race, lost in her study books, or on a nudist holiday.
- She’s emotionally troubled: lost her job, failing uni, or depressed about how lopsided her breasts are.
- She has other priorities: family, career, or saving up for her boob job.
Give her the space she clearly wants.
Use her silence as a moment of reflection:
She’s too busy to think of you. So how can you become too busy to think of her?
Perhaps brainstorm your costume for Halloween.
Here’s an idea:
8. She was disappointed in your ‘bed skills’
If her intention was to find someone to have sex with, there’s one mistake you can’t make.
Being too careful and tentative.
If sex is all she’s interested in, you better do a good job.
Did she cut off all communication after you took her to bonetown?
Then perhaps you gave her respectful and awkward love-making, while she wanted earth-shattering monkey sex.
9. She deleted the dating-app
Sometimes getting ghosted isn’t your fault.
It’s the fault of your disappointing dating app competition.
If her online dating experiences gave her more grief than good, she might have deleted the app.
Which leaves her account online for everyone to see, even though she can’t reply.
So she may not be ghosting you on purpose.
She’s just done with all your Tinder buddies.
10. You aren’t a fit anymore
It’s hard if someone you’ve been seeing for a while ghosts you and cuts off all communication.
It just leaves you with so many questions.
Just see it as a sign that you aren’t a fit anymore.
For a friendship to have meaning, it doesn’t have to last forever.
The time you spent together is meaningful enough. However long it lasted.
What to do when she ghosts you
If she’s just ghosting you for a couple of days, be patient my friend.
Who knows there’s a good reason she’s busy for a bit.
The last thing you want to do is double or even quadruple text her. You might prematurely kill any attraction she feels for you.
If you still haven’t heared anything from her after a couple of days do this:
Send her something funny, flirty and engaging. For example a meme or picture of something you’re doing that reminds you of her or is an inside joke. With a witty comment.
Never ever send the dreaded “Hey how are you? Haven’t heared anything in a while.” It comes across needy and cringe. Or anything angry and bitter.
But by sending something fun, you are actually adding something to the conversation that makes her smile. To make her remember what an awesome dude she’s almost missing out on.
However, if someone has been ghosting you for weeks or more, it usually means that they aren’t interested in you anymore or that they need space.
So if you do choose to text them, it’s best not to interrupt their ‘me-time’. And during that time, you want to figure out if you want someone in your life who isn’t making you a priority.
If you’ve never met in person, I recommend getting in touch again.
Are you hurting and would you like them back in your lives?
Send them the next text and see how they react.
If you’ve already spent quality time together, it’s probably a better idea to spend your energy on someone who clearly likes you back.
What to do if you get ghosted all the time
This isn’t the first time a girl ghosts you?
In fact, you barely remember the last time you got lucky with a girl, and ghosting is your middle name?
You are most likely failing at one or all of these:
- You aren’t having a fun and engaging conversations
- You have no idea how to build attraction through text
- You come off as to needy
It’s time to get some serious training.
Lucky for you, you just found the TextGod!
Check out this article that teaches you exactly how to become somewhat of a TextGod yourself:
Do this if they go in and out of your life
If she’s moving back and forth between hot and cold, you want to ask yourself one question:
“Can I live with this behavior without it sucking the joy out of my life?”
Basically, the more important she is to you, the more painful it is to be ignored by her.
And that pain can do serious harm to your quality of life.
So I recommend you only allow flaky people into your life if you don’t particularly care about them.
And if you do start caring, you want to figure out if she can commit.
If not, it’s probably best to move on and fine another girl.
And I’ve got just the thing to help you out:
It’s the ultimate ice-breaker that leads to fun and flirty conversations.
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