If you look at your chat, you see her messages.
But then you notice…
“She never texts me first!”
In this article you’ll get:
- Why she never texts first
- What to do if your girlfriend or crush doesn’t initiate the conversation
- 4 Texting mistakes that increase the odds of being ignored
- The best way to get a woman to blow up your inbox
- The #1 most ignored texting fact that’s costing you hookups
- How to get her to text you first
- An easy trick to get her attention at any moment
#1: Does she not text first because she doesn’t care?
If there is one insight you want to take away from this article, it’s this:
Her never initiating the conversation may not be as big of a deal as you think.
Whether that’s true depends on your situation.
So let’s find out where you are on the relationship board.
Answer the next set of questions with a rating from 0 to 10.
The result suggests the status of the relationship between you and your crush.
Here come the questions:
- When she responds, does she write long or short texts? Answer 0 for a one-word text, 10 for America’s Greatest Novel.
- When you reach out, how quickly or slowly does she reply? Answer 0 for 3+ days, 10 for an instant reaction.
- When you ask her a question, does she answer the bare minimum, or does she go into great detail and fire back a question of her own? Answer 0 for… you know the drill.
Tally up your numbers and divide the answer by 3.
Did you get 7.5 or higher? Greenlight. She’s clearly into you.
6 to 7.5? Orange, proceed with caution.
6 or lower? Redlight. Do not ask her out until she’s more receptive.
Don’t worry. We’ll show you how to get her interested.
First, let’s dig into…
#2: Why she never texts first
The reason women almost always choose to respond, rather than to text first is based largely on ONE thing…
And sometimes your shoe collection.
When you’ve given up on life.
Wearing socks with crocs will put you so far out of her league she doesn’t dare speak to you unless spoken to.
With the bad jokes out of the way, let’s discuss relationships.
While relationships come in all shapes and sizes, we’ll focus on the big three.
- Your girlfriend / romantic interest / friend with benefits.
- Your fresh Tinder match / girl you just met.
- Co-worker / classmate / friend.
Every category comes with its own explanation.
So let’s break them down, one by one.
Feel free to skip ahead to the category that’s most relevant to you.
1. Why your girlfriend / date / friend with benefits never texts first
She find out you ate without her.
When she knows.
After you avoid death by girlfriend, think back to the start of your relationship and how she used to text you.
Did she ever text you first?
Or did she always prefer to reply to you?
If she stopped texting first, then it’s probably due to one of the next reasons.
Caution: It may not be what you want to hear.
- She’s busy.
- She’s dealing with personal issues and needs space.
- She’s not as interested as she once was.
The last reason is a major bummer. Although it is repairable if you work on your textgame and yourself.
More on textgame specifics in Tip 4, 5 and 6.
If there is no reason to believe she lost interest, the answer is simple:
Give her room to work things out and don’t demand attention. Simply be there for her.
If she’s officially your girlfriend, it’s not strange to bring up her sudden change in behavior.
But before you do, two points of consideration:
- Don’t make it about you, until you figure out she’s okay. If she already has problems, don’t give her another.
- Don’t discuss your concerns over text. Relationship issues should be dealt with in person.
Here is how you could address the situation:
If she’s going through stuff, drop any ideas of asking her to text you first. She’ll probably start initiating conversations once her life is back on track.
Is she doing well? Then you can ask her to text you first sometimes.
“I know it’s dumb. But I’d like it if you could text me first every now and then. Because as it is now, I feel like I’m putting in all the effort. And it’s a two-way street.”
Notice how the above quote is in
Now for the second category:
2. New girl / Tinder match never initiates the conversation
If your online presence is clean, her not texting you first likely has three causes:
- You scared her off with bad texts or made a bad real life impression. More on that in tip #6.
- She’s following the texting pattern you set.
- She really liked you, but then found a photo of your 5th birthday where you and your friends were playing cowboys and indians.
The last one is a joke, but increasingly more true lately…
Anyway, texting pattern may sound a little confusing.
So let me explain.
If you are like most men, you always initiate after the conversation naturally dies down.
And probably give her little room or reason to start texting you first. If you continue this mistake for a long time she’ll end up ignoring your texts.
We go more in depth on texting patterns later.
First, we dig into the last of the three categories.
3. Co-worker / friend / classmate never texts first
The reason why your female friend won’t text you first is hard to swallow.
When she’s trans and into women.
Sadly, the truth is much more difficult to take than her tranboner.
She doesn’t like you romantically.
And she doesn’t text first because she doesn’t want to send the wrong signals.
After all, initiating contact is is one of the signs that tell if a girl likes you over text.
So simply replying to your texts is safer.
That way she won’t hurt your feelings or ruin the vibe of the friend group or at school/work.
It’s possible you took the replies from your crush as indicators of attraction and feel angry that she wasn’t more clear with you.
Actually, bro, she couldn’t have been more direct without it being awkward.
What may be subtle to you is as clear as day to her.
But here’s the good news:
You may have a chance of winning her over.
More on that later.
#3: Four reasons why she lost attraction
The four most common reasons why she’s not into you.
1. You were too BLANK during the date
She didn’t feel any sparks during the date and here’s a list of likely possibilities:
- You were too boring and barely triggered her emotions.
- You were too timid and didn’t make a move.
- You tried to be too funny and ended up being a clown.
- You were too pushy and made her feel uncomfortable.
- You did everything right, but did not have enough in common.
No matter how great of a person you are, you can’t make everyone like you.
Sometimes she’s just not right for you. And you not for her.
By the way, I wrote a detailed guide on bringing your first (Tinder) dates to a success. Definitely recommended literature.
2. Your texts were too desperate
Two common problems I notice my followers running into:
- Being too needy and clearly already liking her.
- Not sparking her emotions.
Let me give you an example of each.
First up, Needy Nick.
I can feel the cringe.
Nick didn’t get a reply for a while and saw his dreams shatter before his eyes: finally going out with a girl.
So he couldn’t stop himself from blowing up her phone with calls and texts.
Next, she cancelled and probably blocked him.
The trick to overcoming desperation is behaving as if you already have multiple dates lined up for the week.
3. You added too little value
Check out my boy, Red. He’s colorblind.
What’s wrong with this screenshot?
Sometimes I even hear a follower complain that “girls on Tinder are so boring.”
It may seem like that, sure.
That answer is wonderfully… WRONG.
It’s actually Red who is being boring.
And here’s the proof:
Did you feel anything while reading his texts?
Nope! You didn’t feel a thing.
Whereas the goal on Tinder is:
Playful back and forth, raise emotions, plan the date, meet up.
Do you have trouble injecting fun into the conversation?
Feel free to tailor the texts to your personality, amigo.
4. You were overtexting
What does overtexting mean?
You shoot off texts like you’re hunting the predator.
You text too fast and your messages are too long.
That way you leave little room for her to invest.
When SHE overtexts.
If you want her to send longer texts, check out my Overtexting A Girl Too Much article.
#4: How to get her to start texting you first
Odds are YOU are keeping her from texting you first, here’s how.
You’re likely overinvesting.
Do the next bullets describe you?
- You put in a lot of effort into your texts.
- You begin and end your conversations.
- She rarely invests as much as you.
- You find it difficult to make her laugh.
When she doesn’t give you much, it’s only natural to put in extra work.
How else will the conversational ball start rolling?
And in that sentence hides the key to having a good conversation:
Only over-invest to get the convo moving.
But once the conversation is up and running, you want to match her investment.
Most men, however, don’t decrease their texting efforts.
If anything, most men raise their effort as the conversation continues.
Sensing your eagerness, she loses interest and decreases her text volume and frequency.
Which leads guys to taking it up yet another notch.
And her losing even more interest.
Do you recognize what’s going on?
Men are essentially cockblocking themselves.
Do you also see how to break out of this pussy drying disaster?
Hint: it’s the opposite.
Give her space!
The more room you give, the more she feels you slipping away.
Craving your attention, she picks up the slack and increases her investment.
All in hopes of hearing more from you.
So texting less often gets you more attraction.
But the more important lesson is this:
Don’t simply invest in people you like, invest in people who also invest in you.
And when you feel yourself wanting to give her more attention than she deserves, distract yourself.
Talk to other girls, improve your professional skills, hang out with the boys, or get swole .
#5: The #1 texting fact almost every guy overlooks
Her habit to reply to your texts may 1337% be your fault.
Because of your texting pattern.
And that pattern not only exists between you and your crush, but also between you and your friends.
Actually, you have a pattern for every person you ever texted.
Think about it.
You speak to some people daily. Some weekly. And others monthly or perhaps just at the holidays.
Without your mates being aware of it, you’ve set an expectation. A texting pattern.
What does that mean for you?
Your crush expects you to text her first.
You never gave her a reason to think otherwise.
So if she waits long enough, she can safely assume you will reach out again.
It’s your job to break that expectation.
And to show her that she can’t take your attention for granted.
Cut off her subscription to Cool Dude Inc. and hope she liked you enough to breathe life into a dead conversation.
And if she doesn’t revive the convo, good riddance.
She’s probably not right for you.
Not the answer you were looking for?
You’re in luck.
Because I have one more method to get her to invest in you.
#6: Tactic that gets her to text first again
When all else has failed, get her to text you back with the next message.
Complete 3 more steps and turn into the MegaVirgin.
Depending on how she knows you, this text could legit get her interested in you again.
But only if she already sees you as a cool dude, who would never sincerely use “m’lady”.
Have no fear, despite the title, this tip gives far more than a copy-pasta line or tactic: it gives you a principle.
The best way to get her interested, is by sending her a witty text that doesn’t demand a reply.
Important: Before you brighten her day, you must first show her your attention must be earned. Scroll up to tip #5 in case you missed it.
That cheery text can be:
- A short but witty anecdote.
- A funny clip.
- A super relevant meme.
- Or an inside joke.
Just make sure it’s a text you know she’ll enjoy AND that is likely to lead to more than “haha”.
Hint: Any joke or roleplay that involves BOTH OF YOU greatly improves the odds of getting a good response.
If you did your homework right, she’ll reply with something good.
After you splooge your pants, fight the urge to instantly reply.
Because now we enter phase two.
Actually, the phase of two-thirds.
Here’s what you want to do before you hit send:
- Your reply will be two-thirds shorter than hers.
- You will ignore two thirds of her text
- You will wait two thirds longer than her to reply
- And will copy ZERO thirds of her emojis. Because emojis are for women and children.
If all goes well, she’ll feel compelled to win you over.
Don’t let the attention go to your head, buddy.
#7: When her attention dies down
Get the easiest and most effective way to grab her attention, using the next trick.
I’ll admit, this impressive trick took me way too long to discover.
Or actually rediscover.
Because it’s widely used across many fields, especially in the dating industry:
- How an ordinary 30-year-old seduced 27 Playmates with one simple technique.
- The ultimate guide to sleeping with 15 women in 7 days.
- 3 Secrets to getting a woman so excited she goes home with you.
But let me click on the links just in case it’s true.
The sentences simply have an irresistible quality.
You can use the same principle when texting.
Let me give an example, to show you what I mean:
Few women can resist to chomp down on the bait.
Want to master the clickbait line?
The video also shows you two follow-ups (with screenshots) and my own analysis.
That marks the end of She Never Texts First.
Enjoy the clickbait opener, brochacho.
For more tips, check out these articles:
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