8 Reasons Why She Texts… But Doesn’t Want to Hang Out!

You’re into her and you’ve been texting for a while now.

But there’s a problem. Your texts aren’t getting her to hang out.

Now you’re left wondering, why does she keep texting me but won’t meet up?

By the end of this article you’ll know exactly what to do to get her to meet up with you.

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1. She sees you as a friend

This stops most men from being successful with women.

They think spending time with her is enough to win her over.

“If I just talk and laugh with her enough, she’ll eventually like me back.”

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. Sure, she’ll like you more than the average guy. You can thank the exposure effect for that.

But familiarity still doesn’t mean she desires you.

So how do you make a woman desire you?

By showing her you like her without literally saying you want her.

No worries, it’s not as difficult as it sounds.

But it’s important that you leave some room for her to WONDER if you actually like her.

I’m not talking about playing games with her feelings! What I’m saying is that you’re not all over her.

That’s why I recommend checking out this article:

2. Bad experiences make her afraid of hanging out

When a girl does this, it’s the WORST. You’re texting with a girl you like and she’s showing clear signs of interest over text.

She’s replying to your texts. Laughing. Asking questions. But when you ask her to meet up, she brushes off your request.

“Shit,” you think to yourself, “guess I’ll try harder.”

But then she just ghosts you. What happened?! Something that most guys never think about:

She liked you but wasn’t ready to meet up with you because she didn’t know you well enough.

This means that trying harder is NOT always the answer. Sometimes you just need to build rapport. You know, show her a bit of who you are.

Why is that important? Trust! After all, just because she’s attracted to you doesn’t mean that you’re not an axe-wielding maniac.

So how do you create enough trust that she wants to hang out with you?

Be real. Show yourself being silly.

There are a gazillion ways to do this, but here’s a simple example, using a text that I sent a girl the other day:

Hey I just dropped off my aunt at the airport

Which means you can drown in the awesomeness of my personality again *cough* h u m b l e

Show her that you’re a real person. Be authentic. Joke around.

For more connection building tips, see this article:

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3. She feels your desperation

Do this and your dating life is going to get better in an INSTANT. Be prepared to walk away.

So many guys chase women who seem incredible.

“Not only is she hot, but she also sings and performs in front of huge crowds. Man she’s cool.”

They’re already sold on her. They’re not prepared to walk away. And she feels this. Which is why she feels more than comfortable hiding from you.

She senses that you’ll do anything to have her. And that’s a red flag. It sub-communicates that you probably don’t get a lot of attention from other women.

But more than anything, it tells her that you’re too available. And that makes your attention feel cheap.

So what’s the solution?

Chase the right things.

  • Does she ask you questions?
  • Does she flirt with you?
  • Does she consistently show up?
  • Does she make you feel good?

If not, you should dial back your investment in her. Because that shows her that your time and attention are conditional: only when she does the right things do you stick around.

Now she feels you’re confident. A man of value. Women love confident men.

I highly recommend this video I made on the topic. Go and check it out:

Holy Tip:

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4. She’s seeing someone else

This is one of the biggest drawbacks of online dating:

She’ll almost always feel more connected to someone she met in real life than online.

Suppose you’ve been texting her for a couple of weeks. But then the guy she’s been secretly crushing on for months finally asks her out.

BOOM. There disappears all the interest she had in you. A guy from real life will always be more attractive to her, than you with your awesome texts. You’re just letters on a screen to her.

“So should I ask her if she’s seeing someone else, Louis?”

Depends on your relationship. If you know her well, you can ask. But if your relationship is new and fragile, asking will make you seem a little butthurt.

“So what should I do?”

Pull back. Don’t text her until she texts you first. And don’t expect much when she does.

Only when she shows clear signs of interest should you try and hang out with her again.

5. She’s being polite

If you don’t get this, you’ll end up wasting months of your life. Almost nobody likes conflict. So if we know conflict is coming, we take a detour and avoid it.

“What does any of this have to do with my situation, Louis?”

Because rejecting someone is a form of conflict. This means she doesn’t like it!

So even though she may not like you, she may not tell you either. At least, not directly. Most women prefer to reject you subtly.


  • With short replies.
  • Replying late or not at all.
  • Not asking you questions.
  • And more.

So if you feel like she doesn’t want to hang out, it helps to read the subtle signals.

I put them all down for you in this article:

6. She doesn’t want to ruin the social group

If she’s in your social group, this tip is for you.

Dating someone from your social group is complex.

Yes, you get to spend lots of time with them. See them in different environments. And give them tight goodbye hugs.

But there’s also a downside to dating someone so close to your inner circle. Rejecting you feels incredibly tough. After all, she risks making things awkward for her and the group.

So instead of ruining things for everybody, she kinda rolls with it. She keeps showing the least bit of interest that she can without hurting your feelings. Not knowing, of course, that she is hurting your feelings by leading you on.

Doesn’t she want to hang out with you? Give your attention to someone else who does appreciate it.

And who knows. If she likes you, she’ll sense you’re slipping away and will try to get you back.

7. She doesn’t trust you yet

She likes you but just isn’t comfortable taking the next step to meet up.

You’re not in a bad spot here, but most guys freak out. They misread her slow play as a rejection and work super hard to get her attention back.

The result? He destroys all the attraction he built up.

But that won’t happen to you. Because you’re going to match her pace! If she goes slow, you do the exact same.

This doesn’t mean that you have to wait for love though. Date other people. No reason to pour all your attention into one person who doesn’t want to take the leap.

8. She’s not texting you to hang out

Now don’t get offended by this: She’s texting you just because.

Although it’s the exception, it does happen sometimes. She just wants to have fun and check out what all the hype is about.

Maybe she’s out for validation. Perhaps she just wants to be able to talk to her friends about how dumb men can be on dating apps.

Women use dating apps for all kinds of reasons. None of which have anything to do with meeting up.

So how do you know her intentions? Because if she’s not planning on meeting up, she won’t invest much effort.

But there’s a catch. Maybe she’s not investing, because you’re not doing a good job of sending fun and exciting texts.

How do you know if it’s you or her? By reading my hundreds of TextGod articles and piecing everything together.

Or by investing the price of two coffees on my Dating App Formula that will make you more attractive over text than 99% of men out there.

Yup. You can have more success with women than all your friends for a one-time investment of 7 bucks.

What to do when she keeps texting but doesn’t want to date?

First, stop waiting for her reply. Staring at your unanswered messages will only make you unhappy.

“Was my last message too stupid or really funny?”

“Why hasn’t she texted me back as fast as she did yesterday?”

Don’t do this to yourself. Instead, distract yourself. Preferably do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment.

Like hanging out with the bros, hitting the gym, working on a fun project, reading a book, texting that friend you haven’t talked to in forever. Or all the above.

Did she not get back to you in the meantime? Move on. Take a break from texting her and meet someone new.

And instantly woo this new girl with the best opener of all time by hitting the gold button below.

Or get all my awesome free products in the TextGod ToolKit so that you can get more success with women in an instant.

Louis Farfields

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