Text After First Date: 10+ Tips To Secure A Second Date (+ Real Examples!)

You had a fun first date! Or perhaps you’re about to go on a first date and you’re already thinking ahead of what kind of message to send her.

Either way, you’re not entirely sure what to text after the first date. After all, you want to show you had a good time, but you also don’t want to come on too strong.

No stress.

Because you’re about to get 10+ tips and my best 3 texting templates that secure the second date!

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What to text if the date went well – 5 tips

1. Be the person she thinks you are

Even if you had a good first date, the wrong text can make everything turn sour.

I’ve seen countless second-date plans vanish like a bowl of nacho cheese Doritos in the stomach of a basement-dwelling WoW RP PVE player. (That’s REA-HEA-HEALLY fast.)

Here’s what you want to remember when texting a girl after a first date:

Always write your text in a way that fits how she perceives you.

Did you barely touch her or make suggestive comments? Don’t send her anything too flirty or sexy. Were you not a particularly jokey guy? Then chill out with the comedy routine. Were you a pretty chill guy who made light-hearted conversation? Then be warm and relaxed.

Here is a solid after first date text that fits most personalities:

  • “Tonight was fun! You make for pretty good company. ;)”

Holy Tip:

I know you’re sometimes unsure what to text. So I’ve put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention.

They work and they’re free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy!

Click here to get them in your inbox.

2. Make your date smile with my texting template

This is a first-date texting template that has never failed me or my clients:

Hey [name], thanks for earlier. I really enjoyed [what you did], and your company wasn’t bad either 😉

Let’s make this more relatable.

Suppose you went on a date with Louise and you went bowling together. Then your text could look like this:

Hey Louise, tonight was fun. I really enjoyed seeing you throw around that pink ball, and your company wasn’t bad either 😉

In this case, [what you did] was ‘bowling’. But why not add a little more flavor.

Let’s add some more oomph to the ‘what you did’ part of the date!

Some examples:

  • I really enjoyed… how you shamelessly kept cheating by stepping over the line
  • I really enjoyed… seeing you get that strike in the other lane
  • I really enjoyed… bruising my fingers by trying to impress you with using the heaviest bowling balls

As always, humor is the key ingredient.

3. Show some gratitude (with real screenshots)

This is hugely important for all you giga chads and nice guys out there.

Yes, you can send her a warm and kind text after the first date. Before you start gloating, Mr. Nice Guy, know that being thankful is also the wrong approach.

A woman doesn’t want a man who is thankful for her time and energy. She wants a man that makes her feel appreciated.

When she feels appreciated, she’ll enjoy spending more time with you.

How do you turn this golden bit of advice into a good first date text?

By appreciating something that she worked for and takes pride in. So forget complimenting her looks and focus on the things she did on the date.

Here’s an example from one of the TextGod coaches:

Let’s break it down real quick:

  • It begins with him saying he likes her stories;
  • He clarifies exactly what stories (that’s hot because it shows he listens);
  • He wishes her a good night (women like men with positive energy);
  • And he wraps it all up with an inside joke about the police.

Boom. Now you have another stealable template.

4. Follow coach Dan’s 3-step first date formula (real examples included)

Coach Dan has a very simple and effective formula for his post-date texts.

Before I show you the screenshot, let me give you some juicy context.

Coach Dan was about to meet up with a fun Brazilian girl. Before the date, they joked about how they were both cold, unfeeling people.

And during the date, Dan ranted about how emasculated the monkey face emojis are, and that no self-respecting man should use them. (I bet this is the part where she swooned over him.)

These culprits: 🙈🙉🙊

So, here’s what he texted her after the date on WhatsApp:

What’s the 3-step-formula coach Dan used here?

  • Say some sort of thank you (“Good seeing you”);
  • Wishing her a good night (“sleep well”);
  • And lastly, an inside joke from the date (“Cold dutch hugs”).

And the following day, Dan hits her with another inside joke and spams some effeminate monkey emojis. Before he finally plans the second date.

5. Set the tone for the rest of the conversation

Still a little unsure on what’s best to text? My next video will give you 5 tips on how to set the right tone with your first message. Apply my advice and you’ll be seeing her again in no time.

Check it out here:

What to text them if you don’t want a second date

If you didn’t enjoy the date, you need to let the other person know.

But how do you do this without hurting your date? How can you respectfully turn someone down?

By being honest but warm.

Here’s an example of a good rejection text.

Hey, Louise! Thanks for the company. Because I respect you for your [ABC], I’m going to be honest with you. I didn’t feel the spark I was looking for. I hope you understand. Good luck!

[ABC] is whatever you found noteworthy about the other person. For example: her candor or excitement.

Will this text make her feel great about the situation? Heck no it won’t. But will it clear up any confusion she might have? Heck yes, it will.

If she now chooses to keep chasing and trying to get with you, politely ask her to stop texting you.

Did you check out the screenshot of the day yet? Daily screenshot

Learn from the funniest, flirtiest and best conversations of our coaches.

Check it out now!

How to set up the second date in 5 steps

The next texting tips will make it easy to plan your next get-together.

1. Show that you remember

Few things make us feel more special than this.

When someone remembers all the dumb stuff we say.

If we talked about our interest in Frida Kahlo, our obsession with the movie The Room, and how your current song on repeat is Po’Ed up by Paris Shadows…

…then it’s mega cool if she remembers!

And she feels the exact same way about all the things she told you.

So show her that you have an ear for detail in a cool way.

Here is some inspiration using the examples from above:

  • “Wtfff. I just found out that Frida Kahlo slept with Leon Trotsky 🤣🤣”.
  • “The Room is officially the worst movie ever made. And now I’m obsessed with it :/”.

2. Match their level of investment

Want to know how much to text her or how excited and playful to be? Let me tell you the secret to getting it right:

Mirror what she sends you.

Is she sending you short bursts of texts? Do the same. Is she sending you long texts? Do the same. Is she replying fast? Do the same.

Is she using lots of emojis? Use close to none.

Yes, I know. That might come as a surprise. But emojis are usually seen as a bit more feminine. So it’s best to let her play that role while you keep it a bit more laid back and masculine.

3. Keep it light and playful

Here’s something that almost everyone gets wrong about texting: it’s not designed for deep conversation.

Sure, it’s fine to get to know each other a little better. But most meaningful conversations should be held in real life. Face to face.

The goal over text is to maintain her interest in you. And the best way to do that is by keeping your texts emotionally stimulating.

So joke a little, and tease and flirt some. Just be sure not do turn into someone else. Stay the same person you were on the date.

4. Set up the second date

Don’t wait too long to ask her out. When do you know the time is right?

When she’s showing clear signs of interest.

She’s laughing, replying fast, asking questions, and so on. These are indicators that she’s into you and wants to meet up.

So do her the favor of asking her out.

  • “Hey, let’s continue the conversation in real life. Can you do next week Thursday or Friday after office hours?”

5. Stay in touch

Here comes an age-old question: “Should you keep texting after the date is set, yes or no?”

Let me reveal the answer to you, once and for all…


Of course, you should keep texting her. Otherwise, she’ll think you lost interest. And that’s only going to make her insecure and give her reason to flake on you.

So stay in touch until you meet up. It doesn’t have to be much. Just exchange a few texts every day. Nothing crazy.

I recommend sharing a highlight of your day and asking how she’s been.

For more ideas, check out this article:

Common post-first-date texting questions

When should you text someone after a first date?

The best time to send someone a text after the first date is within 24 hours. Usually within the next few hours after saying goodbye. Why?

They want to know if you had a good time. It’s exciting to know someone enjoyed your company. It feels good.

Afraid you’ll seem too eager by texting them back so soon? Sure, some people may feel that you’re being too easy or available by texting back relatively fast. But these are largely immature people that you probably don’t want to be particularly close with.

Are you looking for something casual? Then reassurance is not as important and you can make them wait a little longer.

In short, wait long enough so that they have a chance to wonder about you. It’s during that time that they’ll start to desire you.

What if you don’t get a response?

Keep it cool.

If you went on a date with a girl and you get no response to your text after the first date, then there are 3 things I would advise:

  1. Give her at least a day to respond, maybe even 2, then text a second time.
  2. Find out what you could do better next time.
  3. Focus on improving your life and move on.

Here’s a high-value text for when she doesn’t get back to you:

Haven’t heard from you in a while. No problem if you’re not interested in seeing me again. Just let me know you’re doing OK 🙂

Or if she knows you as a funny guy:

Dear Diary: Today, the cute girl I was talking with vanished. Do you think it’d be romantic if I send a search party?

What if she doesn’t seem interested?

Polite girls won’t ghost you. Instead, they’ll just dial back their interest and send short replies.

A lack of effort is usually a clear sign she’s not really excited to see you again. But you never know. Right?

That’s why I recommend asking for clarity when she’s giving you mixed signals:

  • “Hey, are you interested in meeting up next week? Cool if you’re not. Anyway, have a good one!”

Should girls or guys text first after a date?

Honestly? It doesn’t matter much anymore nowadays.

Although most women typically like it when men show initiative, many women are totally fine reaching out first too. And in these last cases, guys are highly appreciative.

Tldr; it really doesn’t matter. Just do what makes you feel good. And if you’re a guy and in doubt, go first.

Is it okay to call instead of text?

Calling versus texting largely depends on age. Although not everyone with the same birth year thinks the same, early 20-something-year-olds don’t like calling as much.

Especially with a semi-stranger.

But here’s how you make telephoning a much more effective strategy: send a text and ask if it’s okay to call.

That way you know their preference. Problem solved.

How long should you wait to plan the second date?

Firstly, it’s essential that you’re both having a good time texting each other. If your chat doesn’t seem fun, it’s unlikely a second date is going to happen.

Does texting feel good? Then it’s a great time to set up the date.

I recommend you plan it within 7 days of the first date. No later than 2 weeks.

The longer the time between your first date and the second, the more likely she’ll lose her excitement and attraction for you.

Text after the first date – summary

Send her a lighthearted text in your language within 24 hours after the date. If she’s receptive, keep sending playful texts until you’re pretty certain she likes you back. Then plan the second date. And until the date arrives, keep chatting a little every day so she knows that you’re still interested.

That’s all there’s to it.

Of course, coming up with fun texts that make her smile can be a little difficult. Especially when you’re feeling uninspired and she’s not making things easy for you.

That’s why I made you a cheat sheet: 10 copy pastable lines that my team and I use. The cheat sheet includes:

  • A non-needy way to ask her out;
  • Ways to grab her interest when she hasn’t got back to you;
  • And stuff for those Hollywood romantic drama feels.

Scroll down to the big button below and you’ll get them right in your inbox.


Louis Farfields


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