20+ Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top

Sometimes girls send you difficult texts.

Occasionally, she may even give you sass.

How do you come back from that?

This article gives you the best texting comebacks so that she’ll find you even more attractive.

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Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

What is a text comeback?

It’s a quick, witty remark to someone’s challenging, boring, or even insulting text.

So if someone gives you a written blow to your ego, you win the exchange by hitting them back slightly harder. A good comeback keeps your self-worth intact while making yourself a little more attractive.

After all, if you’re quick to the draw, it shows that you know how to handle yourself.

Best texting comebacks to common messages

The next comebacks range from flirty and funny to savage. Do note that the purpose of a comeback is to seem cool and playful. Being a meanie will probably not get you the action you’re after.

  • [When she compliments you on your name] Thanks I got it for my birthday.
  • [When she’s never been with someone your age] That’s okay. I’ve never dated anyone older than you.
  • [When she compliments your looks] Thx, I grew it myself.
  • [When she asks you where you’re from] Originally? I guess my dad’s ballsack.
  • [When she says you have the same name as a relative] That’s okay. I prefer to go by my nickname anyway [Wait for her reaction] Daddy.
  • [When she calls you annoying] I know you love it.
  • [When she asks if you’re single] Wtf. I thought we were happily married.
  • [When she’s overly complimentary] I bet you say that to all the guys, playa.
  • [When she wants to skip the small talk and asks what you’re looking for] Ugh I think you’re going to hate the answer [Wait for her reaction] Small talk.
  • [When she says you’re a little bit old] That’s perfect. I’m going for that dilf look.
  • [When she calls you fat] That’s physics, babe. Things expand when they heat up. And I’m hot.
  • [When she asks you how tall you are] When I hop off my ego? About [your actual height].
  • [When she suggests she has nothing in common with you] It’s true. But no need to feel bad. I care more about personality than looks. 🙂
  • [When she asks how old you are] I remember pooping without a smartphone years old.
  • [If she asks if you’re always this direct] Yes, Dobby is a free elf.
  • [When she calls you ugly] O, I’m so sorry for you. I didn’t know that you were visually impaired 🙁
  • [When she tells you to shut up] Ooh, make me baby. Rawrrrrrrr.
  • [If she asks what you like about her] Well, you’re cute. But I also like how you seem… [speak your truth]
  • [If she’s wondering if you only want sex] I definitely think you’re attractive, especially your [insert physical trait]. But what I’m really after is… [insert truth]

For more, check out my video.

7 Lessons from witty comebacks

Next, I’m going to share and break down some of my favorite comebacks. I guarantee that you’ll learn a thing or two.

1. Set up your pick-up lines


Our friend is using superb texting technique. Instead of firing off his communism joke, he asks his match if she’s up for it.

Asking is a SUPER powerful technique, for two reasons:

  1. It shows you understand her perspective. Which is attractive.
  2. If she doesn’t want to hear your bad opener, there is no harm done. Simply lead the conversation down a different path.

In this case, the girl didn’t want to hear the opener. And she’s very clear about it.

So even though he hit her with a super funny comeback, I doubt it paid off.

2. Use the push/pull

The next conversation will teach you a powerful technique to get closer to the date.

To keep it in perspective, the next Tinder conversation is like one of those trick shot videos. You know, the videos where someone stands on top of a huge dam with a basketball, and shoots it into a hoop hundreds of feet below? The failed attempts range in the thousands, but you only see the one video where it works.

This conversation is the same.

The beauty of this series of texts is that it sounds SUPER sexual. But actually isn’t. So she’ll see images of sex in her mind. Even though the conversation is PG-13.

But there’s just one problem.

After hearing:

I’d fuck you

Most women will get super pissed, or just unmatch you. But she happens to like it.

Here’s how to use this technique with 69x less risk: send the setup and punchline right after each other.

That way she won’t have a chance to get mad and unmatch you. Or worse… Report you.

It’s easy to get banned on Tinder so be careful!

3. Play with sarcasm

The next comeback shows a girl who was so upset with a man’s opener, she wrote America’s Greatest Novel.

The most eloquent comeback in Tinder history.

I’ll be honest, as a writer, her way with words gives me a big, throbbing crush. But more importantly, this screenshot holds a lesson:

Sarcasm is a great instrument for funny comeback texts.

How can you apply sarcasm to your conversations?

I recommend using it whenever a girl is dropping the ball a little. Like on Bumble, where women are forced to text you first. And often hit you with jaw-droppers like:


A good sarcastic comeback might be:

Is that how you really feel? I feel so lucky to have someone in my life like you <3

4. Don’t try to impress

The next guy magically turns her objection into a reason to date him. And by magic, I mean he sends her an EPIC comeback.

Because it’s Bumble, she has to break the ice first. And she doesn’t beat around the bush.

The name of her match is identical to that of her father.

And she doesn’t like it.

Most men would react in one of three ways:

  • Give a logical answer. “Oof, yeah… That’s not cool.”
  • Try to jokingly please her. “I might change my name for you haha!”
  • Try to win her over. “To make up for my name, know that I’m a good cook, I lift weights 3 times a week, and I smell good.”

None of the options are great.

Can you guess why?

Because it doesn’t raise her emotions and it ends the game of seduction. You’re already groveling at her feet for a chance to make the two-backed beast.

Not very sexy.

In case you didn’t know, dating apps are all about showing you’re a person that she wants to hang out with. Luckily, the person whose conversation we’re going to look at knows this.

Let’s take a look at what he does. His name is Craig btw.



I might bless Craig one day and turn him into a TextGod saint.

So what did Craig actually do?

First, he set up the joke.

That’s ok, I prefer to go by my nickname anyway

She takes the bait like a starving Wampa. #StarWarsReference

Oh yeah? What’s that

Craig was probably struggling to contain his laughter as he typed out his response:


Don’t know about you, but if I were her, I’d instantly give him my digits.

5. Take responsibility

Sometimes girls on dating apps don’t pull their weight. But the same can be said about men. And it’s important to know the difference.

Because if you’re the cause of the boring conversation, the boring will haunt you for the rest of your dating life.

And you won’t ever get a date!

So here comes a pop quiz. We’re going to look at a boring Bumble conversation.

And when you reach the end, I want you to answer the next multiple choice:

Who made the conversation boring?

  • Her.
  • Him.
  • Both.

Ready? Start reading.

We can all agree this convo was a bummer. But whose fault is it?

If you answered anything else than “Him,” you’re…


Which is GREAT. Because you’re about to take your text game to the next level.

The Reddit where I got this example from all agreed that SHE was uninteresting.

Almost 7,000 people agreed she was boring. Granted, she wasn’t fun. But why would she be?

The guy who called her out for being uninteresting asked her the next questions IN A ROW:

How are you?

What are you up to?

What do you do?

Now ask yourself, are these questions fun to answer? Do these questions make you FEEL anything?


So you can’t blame the woman for being short or slow with her texts. She was probably ready to call the cops on him for being the world’s worst flirt.

Holy Tip:

Sometimes your match is asking equally boring questions.

You can answer them boringly… OR you can see this as a great opportunity!

For the best replies, check out the 47 Best Responses to “How Are You” Texts.

6. Go against the flow

The next example shows us a texting principle that instantly gives you a +4 bonus to charm checks.

For the non-nerds: You’ll get a method to get more pussy.

At least 90% of men make the next mistake when texting: being overly sheepish. They don’t grow wooly coats, but they too easily comply.

For instance, most men answer every question she asks.

What do you do for a living?

I’m an account at Goldman Sachs

Which is not horrible.

But it’s almost like guys are under the impression that if they give the right answers, she’ll sleep with them.

So when I see a ‘yes man’ answer a trivial question, I see a man trying to pass a test.

I’m an account at Goldman Sachs, I earn 6 figures, drive a Porsche, have blood type O, love long walks on the beach, have all my teeth, and don’t snore. Did I win sex?

Obviously, facts like the above rarely win a girl over.

So what makes a girl attracted to you? Raising her emotions. All girls are looking for a vibe, a spark, or a ‘click’.

What’s a great way to raise emotions?

Go against the flow with the best comeback text ever!!

Let me show you an example.


What’s the funniest comeback text you can think of? Hint: it’s already in the screenshot. Did you get it?

Let’s find out!


What a champ!

Why does that reply make me so happy? Because he’s not complying.

He’s going AGAINST the flow. Small talk is exactly what she wanted to skip.

Although he’s joking, he’s essentially saying: “Let’s talk more about the thing you don’t want to.”

So he’s playfully teasing her. And thereby raising her emotions and his own attraction at the same time.


7. Learn from Twitter comebacks

Flirting isn’t easy. I don’t think any baby shot out his mom, turned to the nurse and went:

Otherwise, he’d be on my payroll.

Anyway, the most common reason we guys do poorly with women is thanks to…

A lack of self-worth.

If you actually felt like a million bucks, you’d have confidence streaming out of your ears. And you’d be able to talk to ANY woman. You would be relaxed, playful and confident.

Instead, talking to women makes most men feel:

  • Stressed.
  • Scared.
  • Insecure.

I have no quick fix for a lack of self-esteem. But I do have a tool to manage it, in the form of a comeback to a question:

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were crushing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgement

Whoever said old men are worthless? That grandpa is a national treasure. Because he teaches a valuable lesson.

Self-deprecation is HILARIOUS. And helps overcome issues with low self-esteem.


Because making light of your own shortcomings is humanizing. Plus, scientific studies say that self-defeating humor increases well-being. It’s impossible to be perfect, or confident ALL of the time.

We’re all a little anxious every now and then.

Taking the first jab at yourself when you make a fool of yourself, lightens the pressure.

More importantly, laughing at your own imperfections allows you to accept them and go forward. And if you can accept your flaws, women can too.

Just look at this, G.

What a savage self-burn.

Best Bumble and Tinder comeback texts

Now we’ll rush through 8 of the best comeback texts of Tinder and Bumble.

Caution: some may not be the ‘best’, but they’re at least funny or flirty. What’s important is that they’ll all help strengthen your funny boner.

Let’s start!

#1: X-rated name

Sometimes you’re such a slut, your name can’t keep it a secret. And then you have to keep your name in check with a comeback.

No clue what I’m talking about?

See for yourself.

I must say, I have a soft spot for ladies with a sense of humor.

It’s called a prostate.

If she ain’t ready to strap, I ain’t coming back. #PeggingJokes

#2: Tinder comeback text

The next girl sounds like she has a magazine full of comebacks.

Yeah, you go girl.

#3: The rude but playful Tinder comeback

The next guy barely sticks the opener, and then tricks her into giving her Snap.

Firstly, you can tell this next dude has some game by his opener.


He gives zero fuarks. Which is legitimately a good way to have more fun on Tinder. It automatically leads to more Tinder dates.

Anyway, after a sarcastic quip:

haha ur sweet

He goes right into it:

Truth or dare?

She doesn’t bite…

Instead of going needy, he doubles down.


He actually forgot to add exclamation marks.

But if you’re going to parody a needy dude (which is exactly what he’s doing), exaggeration is key.

She answers:


Now he has her right where he wants her:

I dare to give me your Snapchat

Shit! Never mind, truth

What’s your Snapchat

Again, he is just having fun. Most guys would be afraid to call her a bitch. But because he sent her a meme, he knows she probably won’t be offended.

Well done, good sir.

#4: The Tinder twist comeback

The next guy finds a girl who’s cracking jokes about Hitler.

And he tells her something she doesn’t expect.


#5: A comeback for when she feels insecure

Although it’s rare, this particular girl demands a bad pick up line.

And our friend gladly gives his donger it to her.

The pick up line, is alright.

Are you an orphanage…

…because I want to give you kids

His delivery, however, is great.

Breaking up your bad pick up lines like this is the way to go.

But what’s GREAT is how he comes back from her reply.

I’m already an orphan

To which he replies:

Then let me be your daddy


#6: Fake comeback

Not all texts are comebacks.

Typically, a comeback means a witty reply to someone else’s text.

The next brief Tinder convo doesn’t fit the bill.

It’s a setup using a Bill.

And it’s too good to pass up.

While I would rarely use a pick up line like that, I do enjoy reading them.

The reason I avoid raunchy openers, is because they tend to upset the ladies.

Like our next insensitive Tinder pal, in texting comeback #19:

Great comeback, m’lady.

Also, the dude ruined his own opener with a stutter.

“I’m china to get into your japanties.”

What’s a ‘japantie’?

He tried to say:

Are you Asian? Because I’m china to get into japanties.

Now for the last comeback text of the article.

#7: Texting comeback of a lifetime

It’s a gooden!

Because it’s Bumble, the girl starts the conversation with a question.

And it’s like our bro has been waiting his whole life to answer it.

Funny as phuck.

Congratulations, sir.

You win the internet.

#8: The best Bumble comeback text yet

Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. While I’d love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback…

I can’t.

He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West.

Just look how quick he is on the draw.

Because we’re on Bumble, she texts first.

So, for our first date, I tried to get us reservations at the library… But they were all booked

That’s funny because I work at the library. And I could have sworn I checked you out today

Hahaha! You win

That was a great comeback

Our buddy’s savvy probably needs no explanation.

But I’ll give it anyway.

The Bumble convo started with a pun.

I tried to get us reservations at the library… But they were all BOOKED

Booked can both mean ‘reserved’ as well as a bound set of papers

Then our bro fires back with a quip of his own.

That’s funny because I work at the library. And I could have sworn I CHECKED you OUT today

Checked out also has two meanings: ‘borrow from the library or ‘ogling a woman’.

The joke is dry, but clever.

And it probably earned him a ticket to her bedroom.

That witty comeback text ALMOST marks the end of today’s article.

You obviously got a lot of funny material for your own online conversations.

But I want to spoil you some more.

With The 10 Texts That Always Work.

  • With funny answers to her questions
  • Lines to tease her
  • Funny texts to break the ice
  • How to ask her out like a champ
  • And more…

Get your 10 Texts here.

Enjoy, amigo.

Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

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