50+ Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top

Sometimes girls send you difficult texts.

Occasionally, she may even give you sass.

How do you come back from that?

This article gives you the best texting comebacks so that she’ll find you even more attractive.

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What is a text comeback?

It’s a quick, witty remark to someone’s challenging, boring, or even insulting text.

So if someone gives you a written blow to your ego, you win the exchange by hitting them back slightly harder. A good comeback keeps your self-worth intact while making yourself a little more attractive.

After all, if you’re quick to the draw, it shows that you know how to handle yourself.


Best texting comebacks to common messages

The next comebacks range from flirty and funny to savage. Do note that the purpose of a comeback is to seem cool and playful. Being a meanie will almost certainly not get you the reaction you’re after.

  • [When she compliments you on your name] Thanks I got it for my birthday.
  • [When she’s never been with someone your age] That’s okay. I’ve never dated anyone older than you.
  • [When she compliments your looks] Thx, I grew it myself.
  • [When she asks you where you’re from] Originally? I guess my dad’s ballsack.
  • [When she says you have the same name as a relative] That’s okay. I prefer to go by my nickname anyway [Wait for her reaction] Daddy.
  • [When she calls you annoying] I know you love it.
  • [When she asks if you’re single] Wtf. I thought we were happily married.
  • [When she’s overly complimentary] I bet you say that to all the guys, playa.
  • [When she wants to skip the small talk and asks what you’re looking for] Ugh I think you’re going to hate the answer [Wait for her reaction] Small talk.
  • [When she says you’re a little bit old] That’s perfect. I’m going for that dilf look.
  • [When she calls you fat] That’s physics, babe. Things expand when they heat up. And I’m hot.
  • [When she asks you how tall you are] When I hop off my ego? About [your actual height].
  • [When she suggests she has nothing in common with you] It’s true. But no need to feel bad. I care more about personality than looks. 🙂
  • [When she asks how old you are] I remember pooping without a smartphone years old.
  • [If she asks if you’re always this direct] Yes, Dobby is a free elf.
  • [When she calls you ugly] O, I’m so sorry for you. I didn’t know that you were visually impaired 🙁
  • [When she tells you to shut up] Ooh, make me baby. Rawrrrrrrr.

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Savage replies

  • [When she calls you a good listener] Thanks. But I’m actually just waiting for my turn to talk.
  • [When she commands you to do something] You should stitch a warning label on your head.
  • [When she calls you an a-hole] I don’t know what you are, but I’m sure it’s difficult to pronounce.
  • [When she says something dumb] If stupidity was a crime, you’d be in jail right now.
  • [If she’s acting out] If you want to act like a turd, go lay outside on the pavement.
  • [When she has super common interests] I think it might be time you go to the store and buy a personality.
  • [When she’s in over her head] Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
  • [When she’s getting too personal] I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
  • [When she got you with a good roast] May your socks find every drop of water on your bathroom floor.
  • [When she feels insulted by the truth] It’s not an insult, it’s a description of you.

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Flirty comebacks

  • [What are your hobbies] I thought you’d never ask. 😉
  • [When she wants to know when to meet up] 8 PM. But only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself.
  • [When she says something silly] Don’t make me regret asking you out now.
  • [When she’s being feisty] My mother warned me about girls like you.
  • [When she compliments your looks] Geez, you girls are all the same. I’m more than just a pretty face you know.
  • [When she sends you kissy emojis] Careful now. Not until we’re married.
  • [When she’s excited to see you] You better be able to control yourself, I carry mace in my purse.
  • [When she curses] Hey stop that! My mom reads all my texts.
  • [When she’s flirting] O behave. 😉
  • [When she’s being sexual] Don’t say anything you can’t back up now. 😉

Funny and sarcastic comebacks

  • [When she’s being demanding] Woof woof. 🐕
  • [When she tells you to do something difficult] Sorry, I left my wand at Hogwarts.
  • [When she asks you a favor] I think you’ve mistaken me for a genie.
  • [When she asks you to come to her part of town] Can’t do. My magic carpet is still at the mechanic.
  • [When she asks you to cook for her] I hope you like instant ramen.
  • [When she’s rude] Who pissed in your cereal this morning?
  • [When she doesn’t get you] I don’t have the time or crayons to explain this to you.
  • [When you disagree with her views] I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
  • [When she calls you dumb] Well, of course I talk that way. How else would you understand me?
  • [When she says something outlandish] Does your ass ever get jealous of what comes out of your mouth?

5 Tips to make sure she likes your witty comebacks

Comebacks tend to be a little rude. So they can very easily upset someone and torpedo your chances of meeting up with your crush.

To guarantee your comebacks are received with a smile, you want to stick to the next guidelines.

1. Set up your comebacks

If you have a great idea for a savage comeback, it’s important to prepare the person you’re texting first.

Setting the stage is important for two reasons:

  1. It shows you understand your comeback might hurt her feelings.
  2. It gives her the power to turn down your request and prevent any damage.

Set up your line with something simple as: “I just came up with the best comeback, but it sounds pretty rude lol.”

Then wait for what she says.

You can do the same for risky icebreakers.


2. Combine sweet and sour

Sending insulting comebacks is a terrible idea if you’re still making your first impression.

To take the sting out of a comeback or clever reply, it helps to balance it out by adding something pleasant or innocent. That way she can understand that you’re not a douchebag.

A quick example.

Stop texting me! I can’t focus on my work ;(

“Stop texting me!” sounds aggressive and mean. But once you add the last half of the sentence, your text turns sweet.

Never forget that your goal is to raise attraction with your comebacks, not kill it.

3. Don’t try to impress

Most guys are bad with women because they try too hard to be liked. Instead of being themselves, they try to figure out what type of guy she’s attracted to and then become him.

A terrible dating strategy. Not to mention highly manipulative.

Your best bet to seduce women is to be your unfiltered self. Since no one else has the guts to be authentic, she’ll love how different you are.

Here’s a great example of a dude who marches to the beat of his own drum.


I might bless Craig one day and turn him into a TextGod saint.

4. Take responsibility

If she takes offense to your comeback, it’s important to take responsibility and apologize.

You don’t have to be super serious about it. But you want to at least acknowledge that you messed up before continuing the conversation.

Something as simple as: “Oops, my bad. That sounded way better in my head. Anyway… [change the subject].”

5. Take yourself down too

Comebacks usually take someone down a peg. And nobody likes being put down.

So if you’re going to roast someone, be sure to even the score and talk smack about yourself too.

That way you’re showing that you’re equals. Now she doesn’t have to feel bad about you only insulting her.

Plus, scientific studies say that self-defeating humor increases your well-being. So it’ll make you feel good too.

Let me leave you with a savage self-burn.


Best Bumble and Tinder comeback texts

Now we’ll go over 8 of the best comeback texts of Tinder and Bumble.

Caution: some may not be the ‘best’, but they’re at least funny or flirty. What’s important is that they’ll all help strengthen your funny boner.

Let’s start!

#1: X-rated name

Sometimes you’re so into guys, your name can’t keep it a secret. And then you have to keep your name in check with a comeback.

No clue what I’m talking about?

See for yourself.

I must say, I have a soft spot for ladies with a sense of humor.

It’s called a prostate.

If she ain’t ready to strap, I ain’t coming back. #PeggingJokes

#2: Tinder comeback text

The next girl sounds like she has a magazine full of comebacks.

Yeah, you go girl.

#3: The rude but playful Tinder comeback

The next guy barely sticks the opener, and then tricks her into giving her Snap.

But most importantly, he’s being his unfiltered self.


As you can see, he’s just having fun. Most guys would be afraid to call her a bitch. But because he sent her a meme, he knows she probably won’t be offended.

Well done, good sir.

#4: The Tinder twist comeback

The next guy finds a girl who’s cracking jokes about Hitler.

And he tells her something she doesn’t expect.


#5: A comeback for when she feels insecure

Although it’s rare, this particular girl demands a bad pickup line.

And our friend gladly gives his donger it to her.

The pickup line is… alright. But what’s GREAT is how he comes back from her reply.

#6: Fake comeback

Not all texts are comebacks. Typically, a comeback means a witty reply to someone else’s text.

The next brief Tinder convo doesn’t fit the bill. It’s a setup using a Bill.

And it’s too good to pass up.

While I would rarely use a pick up line like that, I do enjoy reading them. The reason I avoid raunchy openers, is because they tend to upset the ladies.

Like in this next example.

Great comeback, m’lady.

Also, the dude ruined his own opener with a stutter. “I’m china to get into your japanties.”

What’s a ‘japantie’?

He tried to say:

Are you Asian? Because I’m china to get into japanties.

#7: Texting comeback of a lifetime

Because it’s Bumble, the girl starts the conversation with a question.

And it’s like our bro has been waiting his whole life to answer it.


Congratulations, sir.

You win the internet.

#8: The best Bumble comeback text yet

Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. While I’d love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback…

I can’t.

He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West.

Just look how quick he is on the draw.


The joke is dry but clever. And it probably earned him a ticket to her bedroom.

That witty comeback text ALMOST marks the end of today’s article.

You obviously got a lot of funny material for your own online conversations. But I want to spoil you some more by giving you 10 texts that always work. They include:

  • Funny answers to her questions.
  • Lines to tease her.
  • Funny texts to break the ice.
  • How to ask her out in a confident way.
  • And more…

Click the big button below and you’ll get them in your inbox right now. Plus, you’ll also get my most powerful technique to get her addicted to your texts.


Louis Farfields

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