I know why you’re here. You matched someone and you have a growing suspicion they’re not who they say they are.
Maybe it’s their flawless looks. Maybe it’s their rockstar lifestyle. Or maybe it’s that they just asked for $5,000 to access their fortune in Nigeria.
Regardless of what put you on alert, you’re about to get 5 signs that you’re being catfished on Tinder.In this article:More...
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What is catfishing?
Catfishing is when someone uses photos of an attractive stranger to reach out to people who are looking for love and intimacy. Although often tied to scams, catfishing is also done out of loneliness, curiosity, and/or excitement.
Why do people catfish?
Some catfishers are in it for the money. They’ll try to con you out of your hard-earned dollars.
But catfishing is not always about making a quick buck. Sometimes people create a fake internet persona for other reasons.
Like loneliness. Some people just want somebody to talk to.
Others have self-esteem problems. They find themselves unattractive or even ugly but still have a desire for intimacy. So they hide behind a false identity and look for relationships online.
And some catfish use false personas to explore their sexuality or gender identity.
So catfish aren’t always looking to ‘get’ you. Pretending to be someone else is often an expression of a basic urge we all feel.
Although I’m making it out to be innocent, you don’t want catfishing to happen to you.
So let’s make sure you never have to worry about it! Let’s get into the biggest signs that you may be chatting with a catfish.
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How to spot a catfish and stay safe
Getting baited by a fake person isn’t fun at all.
You can lose dozens of hours chatting with an imposter who has no plans to meet up.
And if you’re really taken for a ride, you may even get feelings for someone who doesn’t exist. Talk about a bad time.
So how do you avoid all that? By looking for the next 5 telltale signs of a catfish!
1. They’re afraid of calls and cameras
In today’s modern age, it’s super easy to have a face-to-face conversation with someone, even if you’re on the other side of the globe.
All you need is a smartphone and an internet connection.
Is your Tinder match constantly coming up with excuses not to do a video call?
You may be talking to a catfish.
Does the thought of (video) calling your Tinder match give you the sweats?
I fully understand if you think it’s scary.
If you make a fool of yourself she may not want to see you and all your hard work goes down the drain.
That’s why I made a video for you that tells you WHAT TO SAY on a call.
Check it out right below this Holy Tip, friend.
Pretty solid phone call advice huh? On to the next tip!
2. Their social media isn’t very social
In today’s day and age, not having a social media page is very suspicious.
Do you know what’s even more suspicious?
Having an Instagram or Facebook that’s absolutely quiet.
Even the most uneager Facebook user gets tagged in their friend’s photos or receives birthday wishes.
Does their page look suspiciously silent? It’s time to get inquisitive.
That said, some people are all about digital minimalism and reducing online distractions.
So not being active on social media doesn’t make your online match a catfish… yet.
3. They’re too perfect
What I’m about to say may ruffle a few feathers, but it needs to be said because it’s the truth.
While beauty absolutely is in the eyes of the beholder, there is also such a thing as an unattractive or gorgeous person.
Some people are just more fun to look at.
Now, for the hard-to-swallow part: We all have a decent idea of where we’re at on the attractive spectrum. Including you.
So if you just matched with someone who is drop-dead gorgeous while you’re ‘alright’ on your BEST day… That’s a red flag.
Does that mean your new match undeniably is a catfish?
No. But chances are astronomically high that you’re looking at a fake.
Think about it, a supermodel can match with 99% of all people, why would she pick an average Joe?
Is your profile and bio THAT good? Or is she not really who she claims to be?
A quick way to see if your Tinder match is a catfish:
Open the Google app (you can download it using the above link) on your phone and head to ‘Discover’ at the bottom.
In the search bar, hit Google Lens:
Next, upload a photo of your alleged Tinder catfish.
Go through the results and you’ll find out if your hunch was right.
Because if the photos pop up on social media accounts or websites that belong to someone else than your match…
You’re dealing with a phony.
There’s just one hitch, if the real person’s photos are on a private social media account, Google won’t find the images.
4. They’re living a crazy life
Catfish love the outlandish.
Pretending to be a successful musician, a high-ranking politician, or a highly trained member of a special ops force is a catfish favorite.
Why? These occupations give a fraud the perfect excuse to dodge a difficult question, or escape a video call.
“Sorry, can’t talk right now. About to go on a flight to Timbuktu.”
The more skilled catfish are more subtle about their lies and lifestyles. Instead of fabricating stories based on their busy jobs, they make up lies about illnesses or family birthdays.
So if it’s been their Grandpa’s birthday three times this year, you may be in for trouble.
5. They like you a little too much
This is probably the most difficult sign to wrap your head around. Although it makes sense when you give it some thought:
Catfish ramp up the intimacy FAST.
Although you only matched last week, you’re already texting each other for hours every day.
And if it’s really bad, your “special” someone is the last person you talk to before you go to bed and the first person you talk to in the morning.
Heck, maybe you’re already being lovey-dovey and saying the dreaded 3-word-sentence to each other: “I love turtles.”
Seriously though, you get my point: if it all seems to be going on fast forward, check yourself.
Do you recognize the above signs in one of your Tinder matches? It’s time to take action.
Read the next tip to find out what that looks like.
5. They’re asking you for money
After all, would you ask the attractive person you just met and are hoping to date for money?
Of course not! You’d likely ruin all your chances.
What to do if you find out your Tinder match is a catfish
Okay, you know it’s no longer ‘just a feeling’ you’re texting with a catfish. You recognize the signs.
And you’re ALMOST positive they’re not who they sare they are.
If you’ve been texting for a while, you probably feel embarrassed and angry. These feelings are normal and you will get over them.
What do you do now?
Well, what you don’t do is accuse your Tinder match! You don’t 169% KNOW if your match is a fraud.
So what do you do instead of letting them have it?
You throw them the next line:
The beauty of this text is that it doesn’t ruin what you already built together.
If she’s legit (and likes you back), she’ll probably prove her identity in some way.
If she’s a lame catfish, she’ll likely go:
In which case you’ll want to drop the nice act and get serious:
Does your Tinder match still give you a hard time and excuses?
Just unmatch them.
I know it sucks to lose a good-looking match, but you must remember that you’re talking to a fake.
The person on the other end could be a pimple-faced kid named Tim or an ass-crack showing plumber named Sven.
You just don’t know.
Plus, you want to keep in mind that a catfish will happily waste your time with excuses and fabrications.
It’s better to get rid of them than be taken for a ride.
What to do if you get catfished on the date
Remember how I said some catfish won’t ever meet up with you?
That’s not always the case. Some will bank on all the time they spent with you and meet up in hopes that you’ll forgive their real looks.
If the person you met up with is literally a different person from the person you matched with on Tinder, end the date as soon as possible.
You have no reason to trust a word that comes out of that person’s mouth.
If you meet up in a bar or café, say that you’re going to get drinks at the bar and excuse yourself.
At the bar, tell the staff that your date is a catfish and that you feel unsafe. If the café is halfway decent, a staff member will walk up to the catfish and tell them to leave.
But as I said, most catfish will never meet up with you. So meeting up with a catfish is relatively small.
But meeting up with someone who looks nothing like their photos is actually very common.
What do you do in that scenario?
Find out in the next tip.
What to do if your date looks nothing like their photo
In this case, I’m not talking about catfish. I’m talking about something far worse.
A Tinder match who looks nothing like their photo.
“Sounds awfully lot like a catfish to me, Louis.”
And yet it’s not, my dear reader.
I mean the situation where someone is using super flattering photos of themselves.
Photos that gave you the idea you were meeting with Matthew McConaughey from Magic Mike, but you’re actually seeing Matthew McConaughey from Gold.
Yes, I know that I’m describing a date with a dude. 😉
Back on track, what do you do when the person from Tinder is less attractive than the photos had you believe?
You’ve largely got two options.
One, you forgive them for having less defined cheekbones, a bigger nose, or not having cat ears, and stick around.
We all want to use the photos we look best in, even if it means using a photo that’s a couple of years old. Sure, you don’t look exactly the same, you may have lost that holiday tan and gained a few wrinkles, but looking better nets you more matches!
Are you using photos that are more than 5 years old?
Then it’s time to give your Tinder profile an update.
Look, I understand that it’s difficult to do away with photos where you look amazing, but you can make more!
Especially if you have my Dating Profile Checklist that shows you exactly what photos you need to get even more matches.
No worries, you don’t need to buy anything.
Which is what we all want.
So if your Tinder match only looks slightly different in real life, you shouldn’t be making a fuss.
But if your match looks NOTHING like she did online, there’s a problem. Especially if the difference comes from filters and Photoshop.
In this case, we get to the second option:
But, of course, not without telling her why.
That’s all there is to it.
Armed with the above info, you can easily spot a Tinder catfish and excuse yourself from an awkward date.
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