Struggling to have fun conversations over Tinder and setting up dates?
Use my best Tinder chat tips to make your matches excited to text and see you.In this article:More...
What are the best Tinder chat tips?
- Always contribute to the conversation.
- Try to reply as fast as possible in the moments after matching.
- Save deep and complex conversations for the date.
- Don’t reply when you’re not in a good mood.
- Forget Tinder when you put your phone away and enjoy your life.
1. Focus on fun
On Tinder, you’re one of many. She has plenty of sausage to choose from. So why should she pick you?
Because you want to be cooler than the rest! And that’s actually pretty easy to do.
The trick to be cool is… not trying to be cool!
Focus on having fun instead.
9/10 guys are try hards. They’ll say anything to get the girl to like them. Yuck.
So if she senses that you’re not thirsting for her validation, she’ll instantly find you more attractive than all those other dudes.
How do you stop caring so much, though?
- Have multiple irons in the fire. The more matches you have, the less you’ll care about any single match.
- Be in a good mood. The worse we feel, the more needy we are.
- Look if she’s a match. Don’t always try to look for the right thing to say. Instead, focus on having fun and see if it’s a fit.
Need a little help? No look further and steal the lines from my next article:
2. Start off strong
If you struggle to have smooth conversations, this tip is for you.
Send a unique and personal first text that she can’t resist.
By putting in a little effort, the odds of getting a fun reaction are 69x bigger. And isn’t it easier to keep a fun conversation going than trying to make a boring chat exciting?
So start off strong.
- Look for something in her profile that stands out. Something in her bio, a location in her photo, a facial expression, a style choice, whatever speaks to you.
- Keep your language emotional. “You have the most chill, down-to-earth Tinder profile I’ve seen in weeks. I LOVE it.”
- Don’t overthink. Your goal is to put a smile on her face, not trying to blow her mind.
If you’re not that experienced, sending unique and personal texts can be tricky. You might come off as a tryhard if you, well, try too hard. That’s why it’s good to have a good ice breaker in your seduction toolbox.
3. Be curious if she’s right for you
A big reason why so many dudes suck at Tinder, is because they have no standards.
Once they match someone attractive, their only thought is: “What can I do to get her to like me?” And that’s a terrible strategy to make someone like you. Because they can tell you’re not being yourself.
Huge turn off.
Is she someone that you actually have any chemistry with?
When you come from a place of curiosity, you’ll be more relaxed and seem more interesting. But this has to seem authentic if you don’t want to turn into a cringey interviewer.
So what does healthy curiosity look like in practice?
By voicing your opinions.
Suppose she likes a dumb ass TV show. Then you can playfully let her know that she’s lost 3 points on your marksheet.
And if she likes something that totally clicks with you? Award her 2 points.
Of course, you don’t need to hand out imaginary points. Even though that stuff actually works. You can also tease or compliment her like a normal person.
4. Don’t fixate on getting to know her
This is something almost every guy misunderstands about Tinder.
It’s not about getting to know her!
Sure, you probably want to have a better idea of who she is. And you should. But you don’t need to find out everything about her.
Is it sexy to know what she does for a living, how many siblings she has, what her pet is called, or when she puts the milk into her bowl of cereal?
Not really. And she feels the same way about your lifestory.
Of course, you don’t need to avoid getting to know her. How else are you going to have have a Tinder chat? The point is that you don’t want to emphasize discovering the facts about her life.
Facts are just an excuse to make the conversation emotionally stimulating.
So anything that you ask her should be designed to trigger emotions. And it helps if the facts you’re interested in are already more emotional.
Let me give you some copy-pastable examples so it’s not just a random Tinder chat tip:
- “What’s the biggest holy SHIIIT moment you’ve had this month?”
- “If you had a pet dragon, what would you name it?”
- “Would you take a million dollars in exchange for 10 years without internet?”
5. Tease her
It might not make sense, but it’s true. Teasing is one of the quickest and easiest ways to make someone like you more.
By playfully pushing someone away, you let her know that you’re not afraid to say the ‘wrong’ things.
And that actually makes you more trustworthy. As long as she already you don’t spam the chat with teases, of course. So think sprinkle, not pour.
If you don’t have any inspiration, steal these lines:
- “Hmmm… Where can I find that unmatch button?”
- “Well that decides it. I want a divorce. I’ll take the dog, you take the kids.”
- “You don’t like [insert topic]? What kind of monster are you?”
For more playful and flirty texts, check out my next article:
6. Keep the emojis to a minimum
Here’s something about emojis you might not know.
Lots of emojis, “lols” and “hahhas” make you seem both feminine and a little insecure. Like you’re afraid to be negative. But it’s perfectly normal not to be excited all the time. You’re not a Disney character.
Use emojis only when necessary.
How do you know when an emoji is necessary? When there’s a chance she may misread the tone of your message. Especially useful if you’re teasing her.
“That’s it, you’re grounded” might sound too harsh, but “That’s it, you’re grounded 👮” is playful.
7. Ask questions you’re interested in
Most guys ask questions for all the wrong reasons. And you might be one of them.
Because what does Peasant Paul do? He asks questions just so he can keep the conversation moving and hold her interest.
That’s a terrible way to have a fun conversation.
So stick to stuff that you’d actually like to know. Preferably of the playful kind.
- “What would you do if you had a time machine?”
- “Spend a year in space or in the depths of the ocean?”
- “Would you be rather be famous or completely unknown? ”
8. Don’t be overly available
Majority of dudes will launch in the sky if she says “jump”. But that’s not what women find attractive. You know what girls are into?
That sounds a little vague. So let me explain.
One of the worst things for a woman on Tinder, is when she knows if a guy she just matched is totally sold on her. It’s like she’s been awarded a big trophy for a competition she didn’t even enter.
It feels good for a moment. But then quickly feels meaningless.
What women really want, is to match a guy on Tinder and not know exactly how he feels about her. Some parts of her he likes. And some other parts he doesn’t.
So really, a fun Tinder conversation looks a little like this. Metaphorically speaking.
This gets her excited. Because if she does finally win, she’ll feel like she deserved it. And that feels good.
So act like the prize.
Girls have two extreme experiences on Tinder. And you don’t want to be on either end.
So here’s what women deal with: men who go mega sexual from the first text and men who send the driest, most platonic texts.
Once you strike the right balance between creepy and chill, you’ll attract a ton of women.
How do you do that?
By flirting. Flirting is obviously a huge subject that can fill entire libraries. And I don’t want to waste your time by drowning you in that much content.
I’d much rather you drown in female genitalia. So let me keep flirting stupid simple for you.
- Keep it playful. Flirting is a skill that largely depends on your ability to have a good time.
- Keep it fresh. Vary the tone of your texts: flirty, funny, teasy, chill, interesting, etc.
- Do as the pros do. Use copy-paste flirty texts while you get the hang of playfully teasing her.
And just to be clear, don’t get sexual right away. A study as well as my personal experience shows that getting sexual fast is highly unattractive.
Want more women in your life? Then you want flirting to become as easy for you as breathing and touching your schwim-swam.
My next article will give you my best 15 flirting techniques and flirty lines.
10. Text when you’re in a good mood
Here’s a simple but often overlooked insight.
If you text her when you’re lonely and sad, your texts will probably be a little depressing. Not exactly an aphrodisiac.
But if you’re feeling great? Your texts will probably be filled with silly and fun vibes.
That’s why I always recommend my clients to figure out when they feel best. Perhaps that’s a time of day or when they’re doing a specific activity, like working out.
Find out when your mood is the best and use those moments to text your Tinder matches.
11. Vary it up with GIFs
Let me give you a great way to keep a fun conversation going.
Just words are a little boring and can easily become stale. So switch it up a little! Send her a GIF every now and then.
I’m a big fan of using GIFs to describe the tone of my messages. If it’s a little unclear I’m being sarcastic, I might look for a good ‘eye roll’ gif.
Did her last text surprise me? Then I might look for a gif that comes up under the word ‘disgust’.
12. Gamify your chat
It’d be a mistake not to tell you this tip for your Tinder chats.
Game theory works on Tinder. Ya, really. By turning your chat into a video game, you can make it pretty addictive for her.
What the heck does any of this mean?
Simple. Give her points for when she says and does stuff you like. Take away points when she says and does stuff you don’t like.
Like I said, simple.
- Double text like a pro
Being left on read happens to be the best of us. It’s not always a mistake if your last Tinder message got you nothing. Maybe she just got distracted.
But it is a HUGE mistake if you send her a double text that makes you look butthurt.
So let me hit you with a golden Tinder chat tip that makes you look like a stud.
Use humor and confidence to grab her attention again.
- “You’re making me work for your attention. You better be worth it. ;)”
- “Do I intimate you so much that you don’t know what to say? That’s cute.”
Just be sure to give her time to get back to you before you send her anything. I recommend waiting 72 hours.
For more details on coming up with the perfect double text, read my next article:
13. Set the stage for meeting up
You know what a great way is to get her excited to meet you? By playfully suggesting you’re already a couple.
Here’s an example from coach Jay:
If she can imagine you being a married, she can almost definitely imagine you guys going out for a coffee.
And you don’t always have to break the connection. You can also use this Tinder chat technique to improve the connection.
Let me give you an example.
Pretty fire, amirite? Because now she’ll either apologize if she’s ready to see you, or give you an explanation for her behaviour when she’s not.
14. Ask her out when she’s ready
Asking her out too early can lead to an awkward rejection that lowers the vibe. And being too late to ask her out puts you in the “chat-only zone.”
So ask her out once you know she’s into you! “When is that, Louis? I don’t think I can tell.”
No problem, bud.
A girl is generally ready to go out with you when she fill up your Tinder chat with the next messages:
- Quick replies;
- And long blocks of text.
For more details, check out my next article:
Tinder chat tips – summary
Chatting on Tinder is more of an art than a science. So don’t look at Tinder chat tips as unbreakable rules, see them as principles that you can bend to your liking as you get better.
Are you new to chatting on Tinder? Then stick to my tips as best you can while keeping the next guidelines in mind:
- Don’t try so hard to be liked. Being overly concerned with what your Tinder match thinks of you will just make you seem desperate for validation. Trust that you’re cool enough.
- Focus on fun. Your Tinder match is just looking for a guy who can make her life a bit better. If you can give her excitement and laughter, you’re way ahead of the competition.
- Vary up your messages. People are allergic to boredom. So keep your Tinder chat fresh and engaging.
If you want my copy-paste lines that have proven to be playful and fun over and over, simply scroll down and get them in your inbox for FREE.
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