6 Ways to find out if Your Girlfriend or Wife is on Tinder

You have a girlfriend or wife, but have a sneaking suspicion she’s on Tinder. Not good.

So you wonder: Is my girlfriend/wife on Tinder? And how do I find out?

In this article I’ll tell you exactly how to find out if she’s on Tinder.

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Is my girlfriend/wife on Tinder? the right approach

Suspecting your girlfriend or wife is on Tinder or any other dating app, is a serious allegation with huge consequences if true.

Therefore, it’s good to take a step back and think about how to approach this the right way.

There might be reasons why you suspect this.

  • She doesn’t like you to come anywhere close to her phone.
  • She’s chatting a lot on her phone and seems very much into it, maybe smiling a bit too much.
  • She has late-night meet-ups or meetings that she never had before.
  • You heard some remarks from her friends that made your alarm bells go off.

But there might be good reasons for this, that have no bad intention at all.

If you handle all of this the wrong way, you might actually seriously hurt your relationship. Especially if there was a good reason for her suspicious behavior.

So before you go all Sherlock Holmes, let me give you some pointers.

  • Don’t judge her before you know the truth.
  • Don’t make her feel like she did something wrong and has to defend herself before you know the truth.
  • Be careful how you investigate because if nothing ends up being wrong, she might feel like there is no trust in the relationship.

1. Check if they have a Tinder account (without installing Tinder)

One quick way to figure out if someone has a Tinder account is this:

Go to Tinder on your computer, and use the forgotten password functionality.

Fill in their e-mail or phone number and see if the site finds an account.

If so, at least you know that they had or have an account.

It doesn’t necessarily tell you whether they’re using it right now. However, if your girlfriend or wife claims she never used tinder, you know she’s lying.

2. Use a friend with Tinder

Another way is to ask a friend to see if he can find your partner.

Ideally, you have someone who lives close by or someone who has the paid version that allows you to change your location.

Now set your age range to your partner’s age. And swipe until you find your girlfriend.

With the right location and age settings this shouldn’t take long.

3. Install Tinder and swipe yourself

Of course, you can also install Tinder yourself and see if you can find her.

In this case, make sure to make a fake profile so your partner doesn’t recognize you.

The problem with this approach, however, is that you also have something to explain if she finds out you have Tinder installed.

And there is no satisfying answer to that question. No answer that doesn’t hurt her trust the relationship.

4. Install Tinder and browse your old Tinder matches

If you’re lucky and you met on Tinder, you can find your cheating girlfriend using this method:

Browse your old Tinder matches.

All you need to do is check if her profile is still up.

If your matches archive is too big to sort through quickly, you want to use the search function.

So tap the message bubble at the top of the main screen.

This sucker.

Then press and pull down on the screen until a search bar appears.

Lastly, type in your girlfriend’s or wife’s name and see what you find.

5. Ask her using non-violent communication

The best way to figure out if your girlfriend or wife is on Tinder, is to just ask the right way.

Because using other methods behind her back to secretly find out aren’t the right way to deal with problems in your relationship.

Also, if you don’t find anything using the previous methods, you’re still not sure.

The best way to ask her, is to use non-violent communication.

It’s a proven method for dealing with problems in a healthy and connection-seeking way.

These are the steps:

  1. Observation. State objective facts what you notice without judgement. ‘I notice you don’t want me to look into your phone.’
  2. Feelings. State how you feel because of that. ‘It makes me feel anxious, what’s happening there that you don’t want me to see.’ 
  3. Needs. State what need you want to have filled. ‘I need to feel safe and secure in our relationship.’
  4. Requests. I need you to help me feel that way.

This way you are not accusing her of anything and you communicate what you are feeling and what you need from her.

This is healthy communication throughout your entire relationship.

6. Ask her a direct question about Tinder

If you don’t feel comfortable doing it the previous way, there are other methods.

You see, a liar surrounds themselves with a web of lies.

And as the web gets bigger, it gets harder to keep track of the lies. Especially when they let one or more people in on their deceit. And they often do.

So here’s what you’ll ask your girlfriend or wife.

“Hey, babe. Is it possible that someone saw you on Tinder?”

If she’s loyal, she’ll instantly say, “Huh. No. Of course not. Who is saying this about me?”

But if your girl is a liar, she first has to figure out if someone COULD have seen her on Tinder.


*A couple seconds go by*


Do note that this method isn’t foolproof. Maybe she’s hesitating because she’s shocked by the question or just tired.

However, you could still read her answer, her body language, and her tonality.


The fact that you’re thinking she might be on Tinder or other dating apps, is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

So before anything else, I would recommend you have a look at your relationship right now.

Is it good? Are certain things missing? Are you communicating well? Fixing your relationship should be a priority.

Knowing whether or not she’s on dating apps doesn’t change that.

However, if you do want to figure out if she’s on Tinder, there are several ways to do it. From the most healthy and least risky, to more covert options.



Louis Farfields

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  • Sincerity says:

    Really good article for someone who’s searching for their soul mate!

    Waiting for the counterpart, open relationships and fuck buddies.

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