How to Hook Up on Tinder: A TextGod Guide (10 Steps)

So you want to use Tinder to hook up. Maybe, if the perfect person comes by, a relationship is in the cards. But until then, why not have some fun?

And so the question arises: How do you hook up on Tinder?

In this article you’ll discover exactly how to use Tinder to get hookups and how to get your matches interested without investing too much, and without getting them relationship-interested.

I will teach you how to present your profile the right way. I’ll guide you on how to start the conversation, get her number, fix the meetup, and get the hookup. All while focusing on being authentic, fun, and respectful on Tinder and other dating apps.

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Should you use Tinder for hookups or serious dating?

Tinder is a hookup app if you want it to be.  Although there are men and women with serious intentions, there are plenty of Tinder users open to a casual fling.

There are basically four types of people on dating apps:

  1. People who are just looking for attention or friends.
  2. People who only want to hook up.
  3. People who only want a serious relationship.
  4. People who are looking for something serious, but until then, are just as likely to hook up and have some fun.

Now in category 2, you’ll find mostly men.

But (and this might surprise you) most women fall into category 4. Sure, they’re looking for a relationship. But in the meantime, a casual hookup with the right person is definitely an option.

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How to ask for a hookup on Tinder

Let’s get one thing out of the way. I often get asked: ‘How to ask for a hookup on Tinder?’

The answer is simple: You don’t ASK.

Asking her will almost surely get you a ‘No.’ Because it’s not exciting and too straightforward.

The right way to get a hookup is to get her attracted to you and excited to meet up. And through your profile and texts, you demonstrate indirectly that you’re not the relationship type. She’ll knows what to expect.

Then your date leads from one thing to another, if the vibe is good, all with mutual consent of course.

In the rest of the article, we’ll discuss in detail how to get that Tinder hookup.

How to get a hookup on Tinder: The TextGod Formula

As always, let’s look at the TextGod Formula and see how to get hookups on Tinder or other dating apps.

The TextGod Formula

The 4 ingredients to get someone to meet up through online dating are AttractionTrustInvestment balance, and Date Threshold.

Your match needs to feel physically attracted to you, and trust you enough to feel safe. Also, there has to be a balance in how much each person invests into the conversation, to make sure you don’t seem to eager or needy. And if you balance these 3 ingredients well enough, you pass the date-threshold the other has to go on a date.

Now for hookups, I need to introduce you to another model. To get someone to fall in love and want a relationship with you, you need 4 things:

  • Surface attraction: Does she feel physically attracted to you?
  • Deep attraction: Does she admire you and look up to you in certain areas?
  • Surface connection: Does she have a fun time with you? Is it easy to talk to you?
  • Deep connection: Does she feel an emotional connection, shared values, and a deeper bond?

This is crucial to understand. Because if you just want to hook up, you want to stay away from deep connection and also don’t want to build too much deep attraction.

If you want to hook up on Tinder, your main focus should be to build surface attraction and surface connection, and just a touch of deep attraction.

Be radically authentic about your intentions (don’t pretend you’re up for something more serious), have fun, and build crazy attraction. And it will be very likely your match wants to hook up with you.

Below we’ll get into the details of how to do this exactly.

Step 1: Select the right Tinder photos

Your Tinder profile is the first thing she sees, and it’s where she forms a first impression of you.

So if you’re looking for hookups, you want to communicate something different than if you’re looking for a relationship.

You need to be sending a clear signal that says you are hookup material. That way the majority of your Tinder matches that swiped right will be down for casual hookups. Women are sexual, just like you.

For Tinder profiles, we use our FAT-Method. Your pictures should show that you’re:

  • Fun.
  • Attractive.
  • Trustworthy.

Great Online Dating profiles

If you’re looking for a relationship, you will put more effort in showing trustworthiness.

  • Sweet, smiling photos.
  • An overdose of pettability: pictures of your newborn nephew, you with your family over Christmas etc.
  • Boyish vacation pictures.
  • A well-behaved profile text.
  • Signs of a successful, balanced life.

However, if you’re looking for casual hookups on Tinder, put most of your eggs in the fun and attractiveness baskets:

  • Adventure.
  • Excitement.
  • Fun with friends.
  • More masculine, rough pictures.

Important: Don’t be too literal and explicit about wanting casual sex. No shirtless selfies and douchebag pictures. And don’t explicitly state you’re looking for sex in your bio.

There are two important reasons why this doesn’t work:

  • A woman still likes the mystery of it all. The idea that something casual spontaneously happens and that she didn’t purposely swipe you right for that reason. It’s simply not classy for a lady.
  • Trustworthiness. Although you shouldn’t go all boyfriend-vibes, she does want to feel that you’re normal and respect boundaries. Not some weirdo or creep without social intelligence.

Step 2: Send an opening message that sets the stage

Time to arm you with the best icebreakers for hookups. If you want to knock boots, you want to be funny, teasing, and perhaps even a little challenging.

Here’s a typical example of a rather boring opening message:

Let me break the convo down for you real fast:

  • He displays the ultimate lack of creativity by starting with “Hey.”
  • When he’s asked what’s up, he says he has nothing going on.
  • He uses childish abbreviations. A quick way to scare off a good amount of women.
  • Lastly, he gives her a bad compliment. He loves her name. Something that has close to nothing to do with her.

The opposite side of the spectrum is also terrible:

While I think it’s important to communicate what you’re after, the start of the conversation is not the best time for radical honesty.

So what’s the best way to break the ice when you’re looking for a hookup?

Anything that’s likely to get a reply. Be funny and flirty. It’s better to make your intentions known when she thinks you’re a cool dude.

Check out this article for more on starting a Tinder conversation:

Holy Tip:

The goal of your first text is to get a reply and start a conversation.

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Step 3: First earn her trust before getting sexual

Here’s something you never want to forget when you’re looking to have a successful Tinder hook up conversation:

Even women who are open for something casual are 10x more picky than guys. For us, looks are almost all that matters.  Women, on the other hand, run a whole checklist:

  • Do I feel comfortable?
  • Will I be safe?
  • Will it be awkward?
  • Is he respectful?
  • Do I feel attracted to his personality?

That’s why one of my texting rules is to never directly sexualize with your first texts. She doesn’t know you yet. And remember: She needs to figure out if you’re trustworthy. This is especially important with online dating.

And if you’re too sexual too early, you come off as creepy. You didn’t attract her first and earn her trust. It shows you don’t understand women’s psychology.

If you follow my texting principles, you have a good chance of making her like you. And THAT is the time to get a little more sexual.

Step 4: Keep the Tinder conversation flirty and fun

Now this works for almost every Tinder conversation. No matter your intentions.

Most guys go for boring interview questions. But simply exchanging information doesn’t make her feel attracted. Because it’s rational.

By actually getting to know you, she might start feeling deep attraction for you. Admiration. But deep attraction only will get you into the friendzone.

Physical attraction works differently. It’s the result of play between the two of you. Flirting and teasing. Push and pull.

So keep it light and fun. Make sure she feels something. Only go serious every now and then to build trust.

Only when she is completely bought in, can you turn up the heat and make it slightly more sexual.

For more on how to keep your Tinder conversation going, check out these articles:

Step 5: Be radically authentic and build an honest connection

Tired of having to put in all the work to win her over? Here’s how you get her to chase you.

Most guys make this mistake. They do and say what they THINK the girl wants to hear.

And that’s obviously unattractive. Plus, even if it works and she ends up liking you… she’ll eventually find out you’re a fraud.

Only a connection based on authenticity will last and feel good.

So what do you do instead? Suppose she just texted you this.

Did you watch The Joker? Why are people so enthusiastic about it? It wasn’t even that good…

Let’s assume that you saw The Joker and really liked it.

What do you reply? If you’re like most guys, you’d probably end up saying:

Yeah I don’t know. I liked the movie but it’s not as good as people say…

You might think that’s what she wants to hear. But you’re just keeping the peace. It doesn’t make you more attractive.

What you should have done is speak the unfiltered truth. Here’s what I would have said in our imaginary text conversation:

You fucking wot m8? It was good. I enjoyed watching it! Joaquin Phoenix deserves 10 Oscars for this masterpiece.

It’s what I call Radical Authenticity. Opposing opinions shouldn’t be kept a secret.

It’s by sharing them with her that she understands that you value your own opinion, and therefore yourself. And that’s sexy.

So be sure to stay true to yourself. Even if that means going against the flow a little. It’ll just make you more attractive.

And if you look at the message above, it’s not insensitive and harsh. It actually contains some humor in the beginning and some exaggeration.

So not only did I show I’m not sweet-talking her and agree with everything, but I also made her smile.

Holy Tip:

Sometimes girls send you texts that’ll send you reeling.

“How the heck do I answer this?” you think to yourself. An all too familiar event.

But why hurt your head inventing your own material, if you can steal my material?

Grab the 10 Texts That Always Work, and you’ll rarely worry about how to reply.

Get ’em here.

Step 6: Exchange phone numbers and ask her out

Here’s why you want to get off Tinder as fast as possible.

You’ll become part of her in-group.

Even if you’re one of her favorite guys to talk to on Tinder, you’re still on Tinder. The place where she gets swarmed with peasant openers and other boring texts.

Her iMsg, WhatsApp, or whatever platform she uses, on the other hand… is a place for family, friends, and lovers. People she likes and trusts. So she’ll treat you far better there than she would on Tinder.

Here’s the best way to ask her out if you want a hookup. No gimmicks necessary.

Get her number when she’s having a great time.

Either say something like, “Let’s continue over WhatsApp so I can bless you with voice notes and my dankest memes.”

Or my personal favorite… just give her your number.

Here are two fresh screenshot examples:

Use it to transition into something new. Or to answer a question of hers that’s too lengthy to type.

Next you want to ask her out.  In the following video, I’ll tell you exactly how to do just that:

Or check out the article below to learn more about asking her out:

Step 7: What to text after the date is planned

Hey Louis, how often should I text her once the date is planned?

It’s a great question that almost every guy seems to struggle with. Most guys prefer to set the date and just text nothing until the meetup.

However, that’s a horrible strategy. And it’s almost guaranteed to get in the way of your hookup.

At the start of a blooming relationship, emotions fade quickly. If you don’t stay active in her inbox, the odds she’ll forget you increase significantly.

She wants to know if you’re still interested. Plus, she still wants proof that you’re fun and cool.

No need to ask deep questions, share intimate stories, or get all try hard. All you want to do is make her day a little bit brighter.

Here are 5 ideas:

  • Come across a funny video? Share it with her.
  • Did someone send you a meme that makes you giggle? Share it with her.
  • See something worth sharing throughout your day? Share it with her.
  • See anything that reminds you of something you and her talk about? Share it with her.
  • None of the above? Make up a joke and share it with her.

Just so you know, I’m about to buy a lottery ticket so the chances of our meetup on Friday becoming legendary just went up with 0.00000000001%

I just made that up. But it does all it needs to do.

  • It’s light.
  • It’s funny.
  • It doesn’t ask anything from her.

Need another example?

Hey what color socks are you going to wear this weekend? I might need to run a quick laundry if we want to match.

Not the best text ever, but at least it’s light and semi-funny, and it doesn’t desperately ask her if the date is still on. What the line does cleverly do, is remind her that the date IS still on in your books.

That’s all you need to know to keep her interested enough until it’s time to meet up for your Tinder hookup.

Step 8: Create a first date that leads to a hookup

11 quick tips to turn your Tinder date into a Tinder hookup.


  • Reread the conversation. By remembering easy details, like what she studies, her favorite song, or the name of her sister, you’re scoring easy points.
  • Clean up your place. Have your house looking and smelling nice, and have clean bed sheets.
  • Know her schedule. You’ll be disappointed when she has to go home early because she has a yoga class in the morning.
  • Have a clear plan. The less she needs to do, the more she can relax. And if she can relax, she has room to get attracted to you.

Meet up

  • Meet up a few minutes away from the venue. That way you can casually walk off any stress and you avoid 10 awkward minutes of sitting at a table with a stranger.
  • Sit next to her. It’s not a job interview. When you enter a bar, choose the best available table and let her sit down first. Then sit right beside her.
  • Visit several locations. What’s more adventurous? Parking your butt on a seat and chatting for four hours? Or visiting a couple of bars, walking through the park, hanging out on a swing set, grabbing an ice cream, and watching the stars in the sky? More things are better than one thing.
  • Kiss her when you can feel the tension. Don’t kiss at the end of the date. That’s usually not when it’ll feel the best.
  • Be direct. During every date, there will be a point where you’re asked about what you like or dislike. Don’t beat around the bush. Be direct. Whether it’s about food preferences, fashion, your opinion on squirrels, or more kinky stuff.
  • Touch her. People that like each other, touch each other.
  • Use protection. Keep multiple on you so it doesn’t get lost. Also, don’t use her condom. Use your own.

Check this article out for more on Tinder hookup dates:

Last but not least, a quick video of ten things you should never do on your (first) (Tinder) date:

Step 9: Make your hook up a success

Here are three things that will significantly improve your odds of ending up in the sheets.

  • Have music playing. Personally, I only listen to three genres: hard rap, emotional singer-songwriter stuff, and baby making music. Needless to say, I only play the third genre when it’s Tinder hook up time. Both TextGod coach Dan and Jay have a playlist for anything sexytime-related.
  • Turn on the cozy lights. Whether it’s yellow-orangish light, or you have those LED light strips that change into any color of your choosing, doesn’t matter. Just stay away from bright light and white light. It’s a (Tinder) hook up, not a dentist appointment.
  • Have a good sofa. You want something that’s super comfy. Don’t have such a sofa (ideally with a soft blanket)? Then make sure your bed doubles as a movie theater.
  • Consent. Just watch the hilarious video below.

Step 10: Send a post-hook-up text

This is what you do after every hookup:

Send her a grateful text.

Be careful though. This text can quickly do two things:

  • Make her think you are in love.
  • Make her think you see her as a sex toy and scare her off.

In general, it’s best to keep your text friendly, short, and polite. Something like so:

I had fun last night. I hope you did too 🙂

Make sure to personalize your text though. It has to come from you. Just like any other text you ever send.

The girl will be glad to hear from you. And life is so much better when you can make other people feel good, isn’t it?

Tinder Hookup – summary

Show her your authentic self, be direct, give her the best party you can, and be respectful.

There’s a Tinder hookup waiting for you if you follow the advice from this article. 100%.

Don’t forget to download your free bonus down below. It’ll help you spark her interest straight from the start!

Louis Farfields

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  • Brian says:

    Really finding it difficult to find a hookup,app,site that doesn’t want cc info

  • Sam says:

    Hello Louis, just read your article. Its superb. Thanks for sharing it.
    I have a question: i am looking for something casual. And I literally said that in my Tinder bio to appear direct. Is that okay? If not what do u recommend that i write instead?

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