You recently opened Tinder and the dating service stunned you.
The match you were chatting with is gone.
Did your Tinder match disappear? I’m going to give you the most common explanations for what happened. PLUS, how to fix it… if possible.In this article:More...
Important: Just letting you know I am currently letting guys use my Profile Checklist for free. It's a simple fill-in-the-blanks code that shows you what to change about your profile. It's the first step to getting all the matches you want. Get it here for free.
Why did your Tinder match disappear?
Overall, there are 6 reasons why Tinder matches disappear. Here’s a quick breakdown:
- Tinder is bugging out.
- Your match goofed.
- You made an embarrassing mistake.
- Your match has other plans.
- She never existed in the first place.
- You messed up BIG TIME.
Read the rest of the article for more details and how to fix it.
The best way to get your Tinder match back
Of all the options to get back your match, the next way is the best.
That said, it’s a nuclear option.
And I really don’t recommend going nuclear in the name of one cute girl.
The only time I’d recommend dropping the A-bomb is if you have a very, VERY good reason. Like if you have a new set of epic photos and want to climb the Tinder ranks. (Yes, there’s a hidden ranking system on Tinder that gives you a score based on your profile’s success.)
What even is the nuclear option?
If you delete your account and create a new one from scratch (meaning that Tinder can’t remember you and treats you as a new member), you have a good chance of running into her again.
That said, if you create a profile that has a similar vibe as your old, there’s a big chance she’ll just swipe you left. And you still won’t get her back as a match.
1. Tinder is bugging out
A common reason why your Tinder matches disappear is thanks to…
For years people have complained about disappearing matches. Sometimes losing as much as EVERYONE. And the causes seem to be different almost every time.
Such as the dreaded Tinder Error 5000. Or a bad software update.
9/10 times it’s a technical glitch that you can fix with a simple reboot.
Close down and open Tinder back up again and tadaaaa. Your Tinder match is right where you left her. (For the ladies, please forgive me for only appealing to my mostly male audience. Simply replace all ‘her’s with ‘him’s.)
Did she not show up?
Perhaps she’s moved to a different position in your match list (another Tinder bug).
If your list extends beyond your screen, try scrolling down and look for her last text. She may have been pushed all the way to the bottom.
If rebooting or searching your match list didn’t do the trick, her disappearance has another reason.
2. Your match goofed
Goofy behavior isn’t against the rules, but a heap of other actions can get you…
If she uploaded lewd photos, made jokes that rubbed people the wrong way, or did anything Tinder’s team didn’t like… She probably got dunked on by Tinder’s banhammer.
Which if you don’t know Tinder, sounds far-fetched. “She was so nice!” you might think.
Perhaps so, but Tinder takes its rules super seriously.
It’s not for nothing that our article on how to get unbanned from Tinder has the most comments of all. People are clearly being internet thugs and/or horndogs. Or perhaps Tinder is on a powertrip.
Whatever the reason, once she gets banned you can’t see her anymore.
Although her account technically still exists, Tinder has essentially given her an invisibility cloak. Great if you’re playing Dungeons and Dragons. Not so much if you’re on a dating app.
The worst thing about her banishment from Tinder?
You can’t tell!
Tinder doesn’t give you a message, so you can only wonder about what happened.
So let’s see if we can bring her back with the trick of the next tip.
3. You made an embarrassing mistake
The next trick may bring back your match if you’re the reason she’s gone.
You see, if you’re lazy like me, you don’t want to scroll through your list of Tinder matches. Instead, you instead use the search function to find her.
So you hold your finger against the match screen until a search bar shows up and type in the (beginning) of her name.
Let’s say, ‘Carla’.
Tinder then limits your match screen to all the conversations that include the name Carla. Making it easy to find her in your Tinder match junkheap.
But there’s a drawback to the search bar!
Let me explain through a personal story.
A while ago, I matched with a particularly fun girl on Tinder. And one day Tinder showed me that she sent me a bunch of messages.
So I open up Tinder and run into a surprise. Her messages are nowhere to be found. Even worse, I’ve lost her as a match!
No matter how far I scrolled up or down, I couldn’t find her.
But then I realized what I did wrong and facepalmed so hard the back of my skull blew off.
I left my search bar open from my last Tinder session…
In short, I couldn’t see any convos that didn’t include my search attempt. #mouthbreather
So if you can’t find your match, make sure your search bar is cleared out.
4. She’s left Tinder
Your Tinder match hasn’t only vanished, she’s done something far worse!
She’s quit Tinder.
And I don’t just mean, deleted the app off her phone. I mean she shoved her hand into her profile’s chest cavity and tore out its mechanical heart.
Her Tinder profile is gone and is never coming back. Unlike my dad who simply went out for cigarettes when I was 6 years old. #He’llbebacksoon
Anyway, Tinder could do a better job handling matches who delete or reset their account.
If she decides to pull the plug on her profile, you lose the entire conversation.
It’s like she was never there.
Bumble, however, has a better way of dealing with account deletion.
Did she give up on Bumble? Then Bumble changes their username to ‘Deleted Profile’ and lets you read the entire conversation. Which at least gives you some clarity.
On Tinder, you’re left with a million unanswered questions.
5. She never existed in the first place
No, this is not the title of an X-file episode. Your match may actually have never existed.
Before you question your sanity and enroll in a mental institution, let me clear up any misconceptions.
- You’re not crazy.
- It’s not fake news.
- Yes, my best opener really did win a Nobel prize (don’t look that up).
So what the heck happened and who or what did you match with?
Well, my dear reader, you really did match something. It just wasn’t human. It was a…
Despite Tinder’s best efforts, bots are still successfully hiding amongst the real Tinder users. The robots will swipe right on you and even chat with you if it turns into a match.
Only blurring so our future robot overlords won’t disintegrate me like the other meatbags.
Almost all bots will try to convince you to click on shady links. And so get reported and banned in moments.
How do you keep yourself from matching with bots (and being suckered into believing you have a chance at a date)?
By knowing what bot accounts typically look like.
- Photos of a hot and half-naked lady.
- Not verified.
- And an overly seductive bio, like “Hey, looking to hookup. Hit me up on Instagram.”
No gorgeous woman is that easy.
If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.
Which brings me to the 6th and final reason for why your match has disappeared.
6. You messed up BIG TIME
Sometimes the truth is staring us right in the face and is horribly BRUTAL.
Maybe she flubbed as she was swiping. Maybe it’s something you said. But whatever her reason, one thing is clear:
You got unmatched.
Tough break, bro.
So let me brighten your mood: team Textgod and I rarely lose matches.
Which is not a brag.
Our lack of unmatching shows that keeping girls interested isn’t random or luck, it’s skill.
So let me quickly break down what a lack of skill does to your Tinder conversations.
- Your convos tend to become boring.
- Your convos tend to get sexual too fast, making her feel like you only want her body.
- Your convos tend to have no chemistry.
Whatever the reason, you’re not on the same wavelength and she isn’t feeling it. If your convos fall into one of these categories or more, she’ll most likely unmatch you.
“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? Why doesn’t she give me more of a chance to prove myself?”
Because most women get so many matches that her match screen turns into a warzone. Instead of being assaulted by a constant stream of texts, she prefers to keep a clean house. So every few days, the average girl unmatches all the guys who she doesn’t like.
Are you losing matches on the regular? Then you probably want to step up your textgame, bro.
And I’ve got just the thing: The Ten Texts That Always Work.
10 texts that can flip a dying conversation around and toward the date.
What I recommend to do after you lose your Tinder match
Losing your Tinder match sucks, but if you follow my next tip you’ll forget all about her.
*flashes you with the MiB pen* I’m positive that did the trick.
But for kicks, I’ll tell you exactly how to get over your Tinder loss.
You see, if you’re upset about the disappearance of your match, you’re acting from a place of scarcity.
Do you agree that if you had 5+ matches a day you wouldn’t care about that one Tinder girl who vanished?
If not, get the fuark off my website! No, just kidding. Although you’re probably thinking way too highly of this special Tinder lady.
When you fall in love with some pixels on your smartphone.
Anyway, the answer to forgetting your Tinder crush lies in MORE MATCHES! If you’re drowning in a sea of matches, you’ll never be thirsty again.
So how do you turn your Tinder profile into a babe magnet?
Let’s start with the most important tip of all:
Give her a taste of who you are.
A hugely overlooked Tinder insight is the purpose of your photos.
Yes, you want to be clearly visible. Yes, you want to look attractive. But is that all it needs to do?
Hell to the N-O!
If you pose in front of a blank, white wall, it doesn’t matter what you do.
- Sitting inside your ‘87 Porsche 911.
- A close up of your washboard abs.
- Or hanging out with your sexy cousin for cool points
All these snapshots don’t show her what it’s like to hang out with you. Which is exactly what you’ll be doing if the conversation goes well!
So once you have a good first photo that shows off your face, focus on telling stories. And give her a peek into your life.
Don’t know how?
Write down a list of your hobbies and interests. Then brainstorm on how you can show off your hobbies in a well-placed photo.
There are obviously way more tips to take your profile to the next level, but this is not the place for that lesson.
Instead, check out my ultimate guide on how to Tinder. And download my Profile Checklist (for FREE) which also gets you a video of me which gives you:
- 14 Pointers to optimize your first photo
- 9 Pointers for your bio, and
- An analysis of a newsletter subscriber’s profile
And don't forget your download below ;)