Complete Guide: How to Find a Serious Relationship on Tinder

Are your tinder meet-ups going nowhere?

Do you want more real and meaningful connections?

Then you’ve landed in the right spot.

In the next 12 tips, you’ll discover the best way to find a serious relationship on Tinder.

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Important: Just letting you know I am currently letting guys use my Profile Checklist for free. It's a simple fill-in-the-blanks code that shows you what to change about your profile. It's the first step to getting all the matches you want. Get it here for free.

Can you get a serious relationship from Tinder?

When people hear ‘Tinder’ everyone thinks hookups and meaningless sex.

But is that really all Tinder has to offer?


It also has a large array of exotic STDs.

Tinder can also lead to long-lasting relationships.

One of TextGod’s founders actually married his Tinder match in 2019 (true story).

And sure, swiping faces can feel pretty shallow.

But that doesn’t mean that the matches you get are superficial too.

After all, behind your matches are actual human beings with feelings and beating hearts.

So it all depends on who you match.

Some people want a deep connection.

Others prefer something more casual, or are up for anything as long as it feels right.

What’s the secret to getting a serious relationship from Tinder?

Like most secrets, the truth is simpler than you might’ve thought.

Getting a serious relationship from Tinder boils down to you doing these three things.

  • Being different so you stand out. (We all want someone who feels special.)
  • Having an authentic profile that shows who you really are. (Filters out women who aren’t right for you.)
  • Sharing your interests and lifestyle. (So you attract like-minded people.)

#1: Have a good first photo

The most important rule for anyone that uses Tinder:

It doesn’t matter if you look hotter than Ryan Gosling if she can’t see it in your photos.

I know you probably don’t look anything like Mister Gosling. Neither do I.

But the point is this:

On Tinder, you’re only as attractive as your photos.

Is your first photo booty?

Then you probably aren’t going to see hers, because she already swiped you left.

That’s not nasty. That’s facts.

To match with the most beautiful and romantic women, you need an irresistible first photo.

Here’s how you do it:

  • Use a high-quality photo
  • Put on a friendly smile
  • Look into the camera
  • Be clearly in view
  • Don’t wear sunglasses
  • Don’t hide your face or your body
  • Don’t use pictures that don’t match your interests
  • Don’t use obvious filters or airbrush yourself to look like a mannequin

“Louis, how will this get me a relationship from Tinder?”

It won’t.

BUT… it will get you to match with girls who are open for a serious relationship.

For more tips just about improving your photos check out this article:

#2: Capture your personality on camera

Most people who seek romance on dating apps never figure this out:

Finding your special someone all revolves around being who you are.

Not just in person, but also on your online dating profile!

Suppose that your dream girl could recognize who you are just by glancing at your photos.

She’d instantly fall in love.

Sadly, we can’t cram our rich personalities into a handful of Tinder photos.

But you can at least cram a sliver of your personality and soul into your profile.

That way you’ll still attract the women you want.

And that’s how you reliably find relationship material on Tinder.

Now, how do you capture that raw essence of yours in a photo?

Simple actually.

Start by listing out what you really like.

Then shorten the list and sweeten it up with some playfulness and humor.

  • Do you like dogs? Then get your furry friend in the picture
  • Do you like to swim? Get your Michael Phelps on, dude.
  • Does art and history pump you up? Shoot some photos in front of some dope architectural building or graffiti filled wall.
  • Do you love the beach and ocean? Build a sandcastle or shred some waves.

Just do what you like to do and get someone to capture it on camera.

#3: Connect your Instagram

It’s not a deal-breaker, but it’ll make finding love much easier.

Connecting your ‘Gram.

Maybe you’re not a fan, but hear me out.

If you’re anything like me or my clients, you have a ton of photos that just don’t cut it. They’re simply not good enough for Tinder.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t use them to attract someone special!

Use them on Instagram!

Instagram is a little like the underside of the carpet. It’s not supposed to look great.

It’s raw and real.

By connecting Instagram to your Tinder, you have the best of both worlds:

The slightly plastic allure of your dating photos + your raw human charm from Insta.

#4: Choose photos that stimulate conversation

Finding relationships on Tinder is INCREDIBLY difficult if you make this mistake:

Using too many of the same photos.

I’m not just talking about a sea of unending selfies. But also using way too many café and cliché holiday photos.

These types of photos make your profile one dimensional.

And in turn make YOU seem one dimensional.

To find love on Tinder, you want to showcase as many sides of your personality as you can.

That way women will find you interesting and attractive.

Plus, they’ll find it easier to talk to you. After all, they have so many topics to choose from.

What does this all mean?

Have a Tinder profile with different types of photos.

  • A cool view
  • An interesting hobby
  • An adventurous activity
  • A day out with the boys
  • A good time with a pet
  • And so on…

#5: Be less factual and more emotional

90% have horrendously boring bios.

That probably means you do too.

Let’s change that so you’ll get your matches to send YOU the first text.

Getting a better bio all starts by knowing the next principle:

Emotions, not facts, build emotion and connection.

That’s why saying you like coffee, music and traveling doesn’t get you much action.

How do you write a bio that creates an emotional response?

Like so:

  • Keep it short (less to mess up)
  • Keep it personal (let her get to know the real you, not the youtube quote you stole)
  • Keep it playful and emotionally stimulating (feel her out and put yourself in her shoes)
  • Don’t make it too explicit (leaving some mystery won’t scare her away)
  • Don’t hide your genuine quirks (You’d be surprised at how attractive they can be)
  • Don’t forget a call to action (if you want to kick the conversation off quickly)

If your creative juices still aren’t flowing, get some inspiration from these examples:

“Fish and chips wins over steak every time. Change my mind. :)”

“Looking for someone who likes EDM and can teach me to spread avocado on toast.”

“You’ll probably find me staring in the fridge or catching waves in the ocean.”

#6: Be human

This is the most overlooked part of online dating.

And it’s ruining every romantic guy’s success on Tinder:

Being a human being.

“Are you saying I’m a martian, Louis?”

No. But I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to put probes up my ass.

But you’re probably not being authentic enough.

You must understand:

The more human and real you are, the more she’ll want to connect with you.

And connection is the path to a relationship.

How do you actually show more of your human side on Tinder?

Gosh, there’s just so many ways. But here’s a start:

Add a little more playful authenticity in your profile.

Are you using a photo of you and your pet?

In my last photo Meatball and I are watching a marathon of the Voice.

In my last photo Meatball and I are philosophizing about life while enjoying a glass of wine.

#7: Ask the right questions

Do this wrong and you’ll scare her off.

Here’s the thing, when you like a girl your interest levels shoot up to 169%.

And then you REALLY want to get to know her.

So you start asking personal questions.

Which can easily become too personal and weird her out.

After all, it’s kinda weird to go very deep with someone who’s a stranger.

Plus, it shows that you like her a lot. And going too fast can kill the attraction for her.

That’s why the key to building connection on Tinder is by being casually interested.

How do you do that?

By keeping it light.

  • What’s your latest obsession?
  • What’s something that you’d like to share about yourself that people never think to ask?
  • What’s the last time you cried during a movie?

These questions reveal quite a bit about someone, without feeling heavy.

#8: Know what you want

Finding love on Tinder can feel impossible. But this will save you lots of frustration.

Self awareness.

What do you want?

You MUST know what’s important to you.

Otherwise you’ll be attracted to every girl you date. After all, you have no reason to turn her down!

Plus, without dealbreakers, she will walk all over you. And that’s a huge turn off.

So think to yourself, “What can’t I live without?”

Maybe it’s kindness. Maybe it’s a good sense of humor. Perhaps it’s that you want her to be as big of a My Little Pony fan as you.

It doesn’t matter, as long as you have some standards that she has to meet.

Don’t know what you want? Then you’ll never be able to find it.

#9: Tease her

If you want to find love on Tinder, this is one of the most dangerous games to play:

NOT trying to rock the boat.

In other words, being polite and passive.

To create uncontrollable desire in a woman, you want to tease her.

Which isn’t as difficult as you might think.

Teasing is all about taking a little bit of extra risk that makes her think of you as more than a friend.

Here’s a texting example.

Suppose you’re talking about breakfast.

I make the best pancakes in all of the land

I might make you a few if you promise not to fall in love with me afterwards

Haha sure I think I can manage

IMPORTANT: Teasing is just a little poke that challenges her while putting a smile on her face.

A tease is never insulting.

Of course there are countless ways to tease a woman in a fun way.

For more, check out this article:

#10: Don’t take it too seriously

Finding a serious relationship can be very frustrating, if…

You take it too seriously.

It’ll make you impatient and see things that aren’t there.

No, I’m not talking ghosts.

But your desire for a relationship will give you the feeling that Stephanie is just sooo special. Even though you’ve only exchanged a handful of texts.

Focusing too hard on a relationship also sucks the fun out of Tinder.

Tinder is supposed to be fun.

So if you feel like it’s not, it’s probably time for an attitude change.

Or perhaps a break.

Because it may take a while before you find someone that makes you feel fireworks.

Getting a little burned out?

Work on other aspects of your life.

Consider doing something where you can easily meet women IRL. Like a salsa or yoga class.

Not even kidding. Try it.

#11: Lower your standards

Only liking your favorite girls will do a lot of damage to your love life.


Because that strategy probably won’t net you a lot of matches. Unless you have an irresistible Tinder profile.

Look, I understand. With all these beautiful women on your phone, you feel like you should only go for the very best.

After all, with so much choice, why should you settle for less?

Because you’re excluding lots of women who are relationship material.

Here’s the thing most men don’t understand about relationships. And probably never will:

It’s not as much about the person you choose, as the relationship you choose to build.

Yes, the other person needs to be special.

But she doesn’t need to perfectly fit your highest standards.

She doesn’t need to be the most attractive. She doesn’t need to be the most kind. She doesn’t need to be the most whatever.

She just needs to be attractive and fit most of your standards pretty well.

So forget about perfect and give great a chance.

#12: Have realistic expectations

Let me smack you in the face with reality.

You can’t get lots of matches in a small rural area.

That’s a fact.

And if you expect otherwise, you’re in trouble.

Do you live in a large-ish city and are you still not getting many matches?

Then let me hit you with another uppercut, courtesy of reality:

If you’re living in a densely populated area and not getting matches, your profile is probably pretty meh.

Work on it.

Whether that means moving someplace else (even for a few months).

Or fixing the weaknesses in your profile.

I can’t help you relocate, but I can help you create a good-looking profile.

Just download my TextGod toolkit.

You’ll get:

  • The 10 texts that ALWAYS work (including a way to ask her out in a confident way)
  • An easy to follow guide on how to find and fix any holes in your profile
  • The highest response rate icebreaker of the universe (we’re way ahead of the Martians when it comes to dating tech)

You can find it here.


Louis Farfields

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