17 Tinder Texting Tips – The #1 Tinder Conversation Guide

View this post on Instagram

Nice work here

A post shared by Unspirational (@tindernightmares) on

Auch, another guy who’s absolutely clueless when it comes to Tinder Texting.

In this article you learn just how to text her so that she’ll love talking to you. And eventually go out on a date with you.

This is what you get:

  • The ultimate Tinder Texting Guide
  • A seduction tactic you can copy from my cat, Alpha
  • What questions you should ask to get her to like you
  • 5 Mistakes that make her classify you as a cuck
  • Copy pastable lines you can steal from me
  • How my student scored an international top model
  • 3 Correct ways to double text
  • An unfair advantage at the end of the article
  • 17 Tips that will get a text back

By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.

#1: End your bad Tinder texting streak here

What often goes wrong when texting on Tinder, is what I like to call…

The ping-pong-effect.

Guys and their matches are constantly ping-ponging each other.

What’s that?

It looks like this:

What do you do?

I’m an accountant. You?

I work in IT. Where are you from?

Chicago, and you?

I’m from Texas originally.

There’s plenty of things wrong with this conversation.

And one of them is that it’s only about you and her.

(Or you and him. But you get my point.)

While a good conversation will at some point always be about you two together.

It’s a subtle, but huge difference…

Let me show you an example screenshot, so you can apply this in your texting.

#2: It’s not about you and her

Next time you are planning to take your Tinder match out on a date…

…Try using these words instead:

  • We / us (We are going to steal a super yacht)
  • Together (We’re going to adopt a shelter dog together and name it ‘Meatballs’)
  • Our (Our dog would pick up its own poop because it’s brought up so well)

In the screenshot below you’ll see me pitch a random, over the top date idea.

By involving her in it and planning it for both of us, together, she will imagine herself on the date.

In this case it’s at the end of a some sweet Tinder texting, making her give me her number without me asking for it.

By only talking about “you” and “me”, you emphasize separation. By taking about “us” and “we” you emphasize togetherness.

From there on it gets easy to send text messages back and forth.

PS: There’s a couple hidden tricks in that screenshot. For you to see what they are. Or maybe I’ll tell you later in this article 😉

Quick 5 Tinder texting guide tips

Every one of your conversations that fails… fails for a reason.

There are a couple texting mistakes that A LOT of men make.

The same blunders over and over…

So let me quickly give you 5 Tinder texting tips to prevent the most common fails.

Leggo!

#3: “Haha xD OMG lol no wayyy ROFL!!”

I know you don’t type like I did in this title.

Most men have enough common sense to realize only children text like that.

However, what they don’t seem to realize, is that they’re doing something similar. Something that can ruin the way you come across in seconds.

I’m talking about emoji’s.

Even though research has shown that using emojis can lead to people feeling closer to each other, this is only the case when emojis are used to “create a shared personal meaning between themselves and another person”.

For example, when you and your match have an inside joke of sending an orange emoji whenever either of you says something clumsy. Because she told you a story where she slipped on an orange and fell in front of the whole class.

In general, I would advise you to never use emoji’s when unnecessary. There’s plenty of reasons for this. Some of them I might cover soon in an article dedicated to the use of emojis and their effect on your text game.

For now I will just tell you that a big scale study (134,419 active users from 183 countries, to be exact) has shown that the top ten most used emojis by men are these:

This is quite shocking to me.

And I hope it is shocking to you as well.

Let me repeat myself: these are the top 10 most used emojis by M E N.

Not children or women.

Men. Guys with beards, balls, and a donger.

So when I said earlier that “Most men have enough common sense to realize only children speak like that”.

It seems like I wasn’t entirely right.

Women don’t want to date little princesses of men. They want manly men.

So here’s a really fancy photo of the place where you emojis belong:


RIP, pussyboi game.

Funnily enough, I actually DO have a way that I use emojis.

And it helps me massively when Tinder texting. I talk about it in my OTTG Workshop.

#4: My cat’s trick to get attention

Ever got friendzoned?

What I’m about to tell you right now could very well be the reason.

I’m going to explain using a very simple analogy.  Let’s hope I don’t phuck it up.

I like cats. I really do.

One day I was wondering why I find these animals so cool. I figured that one of the reasons is that they are so hard to control.

My own cat, Alpha, is so selfish and unpredictable that I am extra grateful when she decides to chill close to me. Because she won’t just do it whenever I call her name.

(Most of the time she won’t even turn her head)

Here’s a rare pic of my cat actually looking in my general direction when I call her:

If this fluffy chonker would come chill with me every time I called…

…I wouldn’t be so interested anymore.

And if she would be meowing every time I enter a room, begging for attention before I even thought of hanging out with her…

…I wouldn’t just lose interest. I’d get annoyed.

And YOU, sweet reader, have to be like my cat, Alpha.

In texting terms that would mean:

  • Don’t initiate conversation EVERY time
  • Don’t ALWAYS text back lightning quick

Don’t be scratching your match’s door. And don’t feel like you have to look at her whenever she calls your name. Feel free to have a life of your own.

Now luckily for you, the content of your texts is more important than the speed of your replies.

And in the next tip, I’ll give you one good trick to make your texts get more replies.

#5: How to get positive replies to your texts

Here’s something that really ruins your Tinder texts…

…or iMsg texts, WhatsApp texts, Instagram, Snapchat, Telegram, WHATEVER.

There’s one moment you should never hit up any girls on any app…

…because you’ll fuck things up. I learned this the hard way over the years.

And that moment when you shouldn’t be texting is when you feel:

  • Lonely
  • Down
  • Depressed
  • Sad
  • Grumpy
  • Angry
  • Any other negative state

Even when you think you can cover up how you feel. This isn’t an ideal moment to try and set up a date.

Of course you’re allowed to hit up friends or family whenever you feel like you need support. That’s not what I mean. But in general, when you’re trying to seduce someone, you want to be in a good mood. Somehow those vibes will come across in your texts. You’ll also interpret HER messages in a better way, which in turn makes you text back in a better way.

Holy Tip:

Try texting a girl when you’re feeling happy and positive.

You’d think these emotions don’t matter and you can write your texts 100% rationally, but you can’t.

Here’s a message from her vagina to you:

Now let’s have a look at those GIFs everyone is sending lately.

#6: Don’t send standalone GIFs

I promised you 5 quick Tinder texting tips but the last three weren’t really short.

So let me make this one hella quick.

GIFs are a damn powerful tool on Tinder. But there’s a downside.

Lots of people on Tinder often feel lazy and uninspired.

So they take the easy route.

Which is pressing the GIF button and then smashing one of the first GIFs they see.

Don’t do this.

And don’t type “hi” in the search bar either.

All these gifs have been sent one gazillion times. They have nearly the same effect as texting Hi, Hey, Hello, etc…

Here are three ways you should use GIFs:

  • To add another layer of meaning to them.
  • To clarify the true meaning of your text.
  • To show your facial expressions and body language.


Me right now. Minus the long hair and with a fairly average donger instead.

#7: Don’t buy the property before snooping around

Read this tip if you have conversations die down in the first couple days.

But first a little riddle:

Guess who’s really bad at analogies but will keep force feeding you them?

Hehe.
Hehehe.
Hehehehehe, it’s me indeed.

Imagine you’re looking to buy your first house.

You have a meeting with the real estate agent right on the driveway.

The front of the house is gorgeous.

Now you can do two things:

  1. Sounds overly enthusiastic, showing your hands and basically whipping out a thick stack of cash money
  2. Smile on the inside at the potential opportunity, but stay calm and collected on the outside.

Option number two is the only viable option. Although plenty of men go for number one when Tinder texting.

They over invest with messages way longer than they should be.

It’s like buying a house when you’ve only seen the porch.

Relax. The best part is still to come. You have yet to go snoop inside. Discover the interior design, furniture, and the smell of the backyard. Maybe there’s a jacuzzi in the garden. Or maybe the whole house reeks of vermin and cockroaches.

Next time you’re starting a conversation, try to lightly build up the amount of text. Start off easy, and increase in volume as she does.

And just in case you sometimes don’t know what to say, try out my copy pastable lines in the next tip.

#8: Get examples that are proven to work

Some lines are just proven to work better than the rest.

So when you feel like Tinder texting but you’re uninspired, just steal one of my lines.

Here’s how you do that in 5 steps:

  1. Download my free TextGod Toolkit
  2. Copy a line
  3. Paste said line
  4. Send line
  5. Profit

Feel free to try the opener I put in the Toolkit as well, or the Dating Profile Checklist.

It will guide you through those harsh Tinder texting moments when you don’t know what to say!

#9: How to keep the conversation going on Tinder

I know you’ve seen this situation before:

You’re in a bar or club and a guy is striking up a conversation with a girl.

Let’s call him Joe.

You can tell Joe isn’t 100% comfortable… but hey, he is trying. Props to him!

Unfortunately… some men don’t care much about Joe’s success.

These men feel a primal need to capitalize on other men’s weaknesses.

And when these prehistoric alpha guys see Joe struggling, they’ll storm towards him…

…and steal his girl.

The lady thanks the prehistoric alpha guy for saving her. And the alpha guy thanks Joe for giving him the perfect opener.

Moral of the story?

Smart guys use other guys’ weakness to their benefit.

Cool story. But why am I telling you this?

Because you can replicate exactly this strategy on Tinder.

In this video I’ll give you my trick to dominate other guys on Tinder…

…by taking advantage of the mistakes of the regular Joe’s of Tinder.

Check it out now.

#10: Tinder questions that do work

Stop stop stop STOP asking the wrong questions.

Chances are you pose a lot of yes/no questions. Or other closed questions to which she has a hard time replying more than one word.

A bit earlier I told you to ‘not buy the property before thoroughly snooping around’.

AKA don’t send her massive texts right off the bat. You’ll take away any challenge and your Tinder match will get bored quickly.

You want to make her invest in the conversation as well. You can usually tell how much a girl is into you by the amount she invests.

The more she invest, the more hooked she is.

A quick way to get her to start talking, is by asking open questions.

“If tomorrow was your last day on this planet and you were a plastic bag,

how would you spend it?”

A question like that for example, or something slightly more serious. For you to decide what your conversation needs most.

Some girls react better to open ended, deeper questions.

Some react just great to smaller questions.

Here’s what I like to do:

If I notice she reacts well to my ‘baby questions’, I’ll throw in a couple of those and then follow it up with a deeper question.

Check out this example:

What whiskey was in that bottle?

And what are you celebrating?

You live together?

Those are three boring, closed questions.

Exactly what I told you to be careful about using.

But the thing is here that these are a low investment from my side, while I know she will reply to all of them.

Holy Tip:

When she sends you a picture of what she’s doing, you can be pretty sure she likes you.

(And there are 18 more signs she likes you over text.)

Now, once I’ve shot her a couple ‘baby questions’, I’m seeing how she reacts to a deeper how-question.

When she tells me about breaking up with her boyfriend for 6.5 years, I ask her:

“That’s so intense damn. The moment you told him, how was that?”

That’s a whole another level from the questions we asked her earlier.

Now she didn’t open up as much as I expected her to. At this point you could ask a second open question to delve deeper, or you could go back to the safer smaller questions. We already know she responds well to those.

Or… you could go for a bit of a douchey third option.

That’s exactly what I did, and I’ll show you what it is, later in the article.

But before you understand the full power of my douchey technique, you need to know about the Tinder Texting rules:

#11: Tinder texting rules

Here’s the most important thing you can do to instantly become more attractive:

Stop. Being. Needy.

Would you ever buy from a super needy marketeer?

Would you vote for a needy politician?

Would you date the needy, overly attached girlfriend?

Neediness is super easy to spot in real life. But it’s just as easily to detect in your texts.

When you are checking your phone one too many times for example. And then decide to double text her. More on double texting in a bit.

Anyway, one of the Tinder texting rules is that you shouldn’t double text.

Just like you shouldn’t use emojis if your message is clear without them.

But a wise animal once said:

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
—David the lama

Or was it Dalai Lama?

Whoever it was, they were damn right. And rest assured we are going to be breaking hearts rules. In fact, 90% of my texting is based on breaking rules. As you can see in my free ebook called The 10 Texts That Always Work.

Now let’s look at that last screenshot again, the one where I was going to pull a douchey (but effective) move.

#12: Timing of your texts. Be the Heartbreaker.

Think of a date you enjoyed and wished would go on for longer.

Chances are that you weren’t the one to wrap it up.

I remember one of my favorite dates. I was having such an amazing time, having a late night drink with my crush. When suddenly she looked at her phone and had to go. Something homework related and waking up early.

From one minute to the next, that heavenly feeling was taken away by a single glance at her screen.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how badly do you think I wanted to see her again?

Damn right, a solid 10 out of 10.

Now imagine if the date went on and on until one of us got tired and became super low energy. And thus less interesting. To then eventually mumble they’re falling asleep and want to go home.

That’s a whole different date ending.

It might even take away the urge for a second date.

Now guess what?

It’s exactly the same for your Tinder texting.

Sometimes when you like someone, it’s easy to lose track of any goals. you just want to keep texting because it feels good.

Even when you have nothing left to say, you’ll try to think of stuff. Often resulting in mediocre texts.

But daaaamn it feels good to have her attention. So you try to keep it going as long as possible.

Until you’re at the equivalent of someone nearly falling asleep during a late date.

So remember how I CRAVED a second date once she suddenly ended it from one minute to the next? Just by looking at her screen once…

You can do just the same. It’s also what I did with the whiskey girl from last screenshot:

And it’s not like I completely made it up. I had just finished a competitive 2 hour soccer game. That usually leaves me pretty exhausted.

A text like that comes as a surprise to her. By now she was used to some back and forth texting every evening. And now, just with one glance at her phone, it was taken away.

She’d have to wait until the next day.

Holy Tip:

Next time you are shooting texts back and forth, having a great time, suddenly end it.

Let her crave your next text. And send it a few hours later.

Don’t ALWAYs do this. Just experiment with it.

By the way, I wrote a separate guide on what to text after the date. You can find my after-the-date-text-examples here.

Tip 13: How to make her chase you through text

So you’re texting a girl and the same as usual happens:

  • You’re the one trying to make it work.
  • You’re the one trying to get her to like you.
  • You’re the one qualifying.

And it feels BAD always being the one having to prove himself, doesn’t it?

So let’s see what we can do about that.

I have a really simple trick.

It’s easy to apply and you can use it in next time you’re Tinder texting.

What you’re going to do, is the following:

Whenever she says ANYTHING you don’t agree with…

…you let her know.

Whenever you ask her a question and she gives a poor answer…

…you let her know.

Now you don’t let her know with words…

…you let her know by taking points from her.

Not 100% clear what I mean?

-5 points for you for being slow.

Just kidding, relax.

Anyway, here’s an example from a student of mine:

She said something risky, and he punishes her for it but taking 3 points from her.

It’s not like they ever talked about points before. And she didn’t sign up for this game.

He just throws it out there.

Let’s see how she reacts:

She instantly understands the game he is playing, and goes with it.

On top of that she’s defending herself because she doesn’t like losing three points.

And since she’s complaining, my student takes another 5 points for her. To then give her back 2 for being funny.

Masterful Tinder texting.

Two tactful texts later, he scores her number and moves the conversation elsewhere.

Ahhh, the satisfactory feeling when my students grow up. What a joy.

Now, in the next topic, we’re going to talk about something you sometimes do, that makes girls want to take points from YOU.

#14: Reviving old Tinder matches

You were texting with your match when suddenly, you lose inspiration.

Unsure what to text back, you closed the app.

“I’ll come up with something later”

But later, instead of coming up with something, you started talking with someone else.

Or you just forgot about the conversation.

This WILL happen to you, especially once you’re getting your profile optimized.

(also, remember this. I’m going to talk about it more, further in the article)

And then… after a longer period of time, you go through old conversations and suddenly…

…you decide you still want to talk to her.

What now?

How do you text someone you’ve already been texting, but you then left to rot for way too long?

Should you even do this?

I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t.

I do see two ways you shouldn’t go.

The first one is by apologizing.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t text for so long, I didn’t know what to say”

“Hey, sorry for not responding. I never check this app” (Liar liar, pants on fire.)

It almost looks too obvious for me to point it out. But it does happen.

A second wrong way to rekindle an old conversation, is by sending anything BORING.

You’re not allowed to send any type of message you wouldn’t be allowed to send at other times.

No:

  • Hey, how are you?
  • How was your day?
  • What’s up, beautiful?

B O R I N G.

If you ARE going to open an old conversation, you need to bring something lively to the table.

Not that you have to prove yourself… but you want to get a text back, don’t you?

So why don’t you make it FUN.

Send her a funny meme or video that one of your friends recently sent you.

Like this one for example.

Humor is the key to rekindling dead conversations.

Tell her someone sent you funny video X, and you thought of sending it to her.

Maybe it made you think of her.

Your other option is to make up a ridiculous reason for why you disappeared.

Maybe you were trying to feed your goldfish and your hand got stuck in the bowl.

Or you were holding your hamster and he started hibernating in your hand. If you had moved he would have woken up and potentially missed out on a whole season of sleep.

Whatever you decide to tell her, make it something you find funny.

And if she doesn’t instantly reply…

…don’t double text.

#15: Should I double text on Tinder

This Tinder texting guide would not be complete without the troubleshooting.

Because sometimes someone doesn’t text back, and it’s annoying.

I’m going to tell you something here that will change how you see ‘being ignored’.

Because let’s be honest here…

The only reason you double text is because someone hasn’t texted back in a while and you crave her attention.

It felt good talking to her and you want it to continue.

So you’re tempted to double text.

(Double texting is when you text her while you are still waiting for her to respond to your last text.)

But should you?

In general, you shouldn’t.

Here’s what you are NEVER allowed to text when she doesn’t respond:

  • ?
  • Hello?
  • Why did you leave me on read?
  • Can you reply?
  • Anything butthurt or angry

But if she never responds to your last text and you don’t hit her up again…

…the conversation is over.

So sometimes you will have to double text. And in a bit I’ll show you how to do it in style, maximizing your chances of Tinder success.

But do you remember how, in the previous tip, I told you that it WILL happen to you that you forget to text someone back?

Maybe you didn’t know what to reply… or something in real life suddenly required your attention.

That also happens to her.

So before you start being the voice of doom… what if she enjoyed talking to you as well? But something just slipped in between?

Or what if you felt like your last text clearly put the ball in her camp, but in her mind it was still your turn to text?

Sounds like something that never happens, right?

But it does. And it happens more often than you’d think.

One of my Tinder coaches had a match he was really excited about. They texted back and forth a bit and suddenly she dropped the ball. No text came back. My coach knows he shouldn’t double text just like that, so he waits.

When he finally reignites the conversation, he takes her out on a date.

On the date, he was surprised to hear her say this:

“I wondered what had happened to you, like why you didn’t text me anymore”

What?

He was the last one to text. She didn’t respond.

So you end up with two people eager to continue speaking to each other, yet there’s silence.

Another example?

A student of mine scored the number of an absolute STUNNER. An international model who travels from city to city to be in big ticket photoshoots, and then jets out again.

When he texted her, proposing they’d hang out of a bit, she declined. While the conversation was going so well.

He was wondering what he could text to convince her anyway.

Can you guess what magical message I made him send?

He came up with a couple cool sounding things, but I told him this:

Don’t.

Don’t text her.

Not yet.

Your vibe was really good. The last thing you want to be doing now is seeming like a desperate guy who has nothing to do but think of her.

Let her experience a couple hours without texting you and if needed, you can text hit her up again at that point.

And guess what?

A couple hours passed by, and she texted him again:

“Hey I thought about it some more and you did seem really nice. So I guess a quick coffee wouldn’t hurt.”

He couldn’t believe it. He was about to grab a drink with the hottest girl of his life. And he didn’t even have to plead for it.

So…

That brings me to the time when you actually DO have to double text…

#16: The Rule of 72

My student and my coach didn’t get a response at first, but eventually it worked out.

But what if in your case, she doesn’t suddenly slide in your inbox again? Can you then double text her?

Yes. You can. BUT…

…first you wait 72 hours.

That’s the rule of 72.

You will wait approximately three days. That’s how long your last text needs to sit there on her phone, unanswered.

In the meanwhile, you aren’t even allowed to look at the conversation. There’s other people for some Tinder texting. Or practice sports, work your job, do whatever you need to do. As long as you free your mind from the unanswered text.

When the time has come and you are ready to pick up where you left off, you’re going to double text her one of three things:

  • A funny video
  • A funny meme
  • A funny something else

You saw that right, they’re all funny things.

Humor is the key to re-initiating silent conversations.

This gif has done its job for me multiple times when someone left me hanging.

It playfully mocks how you feel. Without coming across as TOO butthurt.

But, referring back to my list of 3, I prefer to send funny videos or memes.

Most of the time, you don’t even need to go searching for them.

If all is well, you have friends. And friends are ought to send stupid jokes to each other. Or dump them in the group chat that you muted because of the endless notification spam.

Like the video I showed you earlier with the two guys on a scooter.

You can use it to text old matches, just like you can use it to double text.

“me picking you up in my fancy new sports car”

What do you think will get better chances of a reply?

The video with a funny text added, or a butthurt question mark?

I think we can agree on that.

I you liked this specific example, and want some more of those, then I have good news for you…

The final part of this Tinder conversation guide…

#17: Your unfair Tinder texting cheatcodes

I have something for you.

Consider it a thank you gift for making it to the end of the article.

If you actually read it all, then you should be ahead of your competition already. Not only did you get some great insights and mindsets, you also received some copy pastable lines.

But I know… you can never have enough of those.

So what I did, is compile 10 copy pastable lines that can get you out of all sorts of tricky situations.

On top of that I made a checklist that you can use on your own profile. You’ll find your strong and weak sides. And see just what to do to get more and hotter matches.

And as if that wasn’t enough, I also added a video that gives you my most successful Tinder opener. It also works on other dating apps. In the video I explain exactly how to use it, and what to text her after she inevitable replies.

Go ahead, download it for free below and unlock next level Tinder texting.

You’re well on your way to becoming a TextGod.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

And don't forget your download below ;)

FREE download (must-have):
My secret clickbait-opener

Do you know what's strangly irresistible, even in texting? The psychological principle of clickbait!

And you can wield this power with my Clickbait opener to get quick replies.
You get 7 examples + 2 follow-up lines here:

Yes, give me the free opener!

Related articles

Comments

  • aaliyah says:

    i rrly want a girlfriend

  • John Shifu says:

    Once you have matched with a guy on tinder, you know that he also likes you. But sometimes women find it difficult what to text a guy on tinder. Here are some tips to help you:

    – Before you even text a guy on tinder, set up your profile in the right way with all the information the guy has to know about you. But remember to keep it short and to-the-point.

    – Ditch the boring “hey” and make your first message something different and interesting. If you have trouble, then just check his profile and ask him something based on his interest.

    – Be confident and be yourself. Guys love hat not someone fake.

    – Be polite to anyone you speak to. Treat them the same way you like to be treated.Avoid crude or sexist remarks. You know you don’t like it so don’t do the same to him.

    – Make him feel special. It’s easy impressing a guy.

    – Never be desperate for attention. It is a big turn off.

    – Compliment him.

    – Be specific with your texts and don’t use vague messages.

    – Do not use shortcut words when messaging.

Write a comment

Welkom! Deze website maakt gebruik van cookies

De noodzakelijke en statistiek-cookies verzamelen geen persoonsgegevens en helpen ons de site te verbeteren. Daarnaast gebruiken we andere cookies voor promotie en het testen van nieuwe functionaliteiten. Hieronder kan je aangeven of je dat goed vindt (meer info: Privacy Policy)