You were on Tinder talking to a cutie but then she vanished without a trace.
You’ve been unmatched.
You don’t understand why and you’re dying to find out.
Well, you’re in the right place.
Because you’re about to get 16 reasons she unmatched you on Tinder.
- The most important thing to remember
- #1: You ask yes/no questions
- #2: You ask too many questions
- #3: You send too many texts
- #4: You’re boring her
- #5: You give one-word answers
- #6: She’s got serious with someone else
- #7: You were rude
- #8: You were too thirsty
- #9: You took too long to text back
- #10: You took too long to ask her out
- #11: She deleted her account
- #12: She accidentally swiped you right
- #13: You don’t use proper grammar
- #14: You said something that was a dealbreaker
- #15: She’s not emotionally available
- #16: She’s a catfish
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The most important thing to remember
Before we dive into the reasons she unmatched you, you need to hear this:
Even if you do everything right, you can’t make everyone like you.
Expecting differently is a one-way ticket to disappointment.
So if you get ignored or unmatched every once in a while, that’s okay.
You simply weren’t a fit.
That said, sometimes you and your Tinder match probably were compatible.
In those cases, you probably goofed and turned her off somehow.
That’s what this article is largely for.
If you can recognize yourself in some of the upcoming reasons, you likely caused her to unmatch you.
But also yay. Because it means you can prevent it from happening in the future!
So let’s continue with the reasons and make sure you don’t get unmatched again.
#1: You ask yes/no questions
A huge reason men suck at online dating is that they can’t hold a fun conversation.
Their convos are almost embarrassingly boring.
The biggest culprit?
Asking yes/no questions.
Yes/no questions hurt, wreck and even KILL Tinder conversations because they lead to one-word answers.
Sure, she could expand her answer if she wanted.
But that’s leaving everything up to chance.
Take charge of your Tinder success and ask better conversations.
Such as these:
#2: You ask too many questions
Another way to get unmatched is to ask too many questions.
Even if they’re good, they will eventually annoy your Tinder match.
You’re making her carry the burden of conversation.
After all, coming up with a good answer to a question is difficult.
So as you’re sitting back and making her do all the heavy lifting, she’ll eventually grow tired of your lazy ways.
And it makes perfect sense! She’s on Tinder to be entertained, to break out of her daily Groundhog routine.
So if you can’t do her that favor, you will most likely strike out.
Here are some tips on how to keep women glued to their phones and waiting for your texts:
#3: You send too many texts
The desperate guy’s favorite technique:
He’s so eager for her replies he can’t even wait until she replies.
So he blows up her inbox with a never-ending assault of text messages.
Naturally, this all screams desperation of the highest level. #Yikes
So she unmatches him.
Is this you?
Here are 4 signs you’re overtexting:
#4: You’re boring her
The deathblow of any Tinder conversation:
It makes so much sense not to be boring.
Yet almost nobody can stop being a bore!
The most common way of being a vampire of joy on Tinder is predictability.
Instead of switching it up, you only go down the trodden path.
Talking about worn out topics like work, music, weekend plans, and what she’s looking for on Tinder.
Conversations she’s had too fuggin’ often.
Every time you bring up a topic she’s talked about before brings her a little closer to the unmatch button.
Here are 3 templates on how to have a fun Tinder conversation:
#5: You give one-word answers
Not as common, but just as lethal to your Tinder conversations:
And of course:
What is a girl supposed to do when she gets one of these reactions?
If you’ve been on the receiving end of these short texts, you know how much it sucks to get them.
So if you catch yourself being curt, add a little something else to make it easy for her to reply.
#6: She’s got serious with someone else
Finally, a reason that’s not your fault!
She met someone else.
Not much you can do about this one, friend.
Sure, you could argue that you want to be an even better texter so that you blow the competition out of the water.
But if she’s already met her knight in shining armour, there’s honestly not much you can do.
Just check your convo for any possible mistakes, just in case, and move on.
#7: You were rude
I’m not pointing any fingers.
You being here and looking to improve your texting skill makes me think you’re not the type to be rude.
After all, those people are usually not into improving themselves.
But even if you’re one of the good guys, you’re not immune to mistakes.
Perhaps you were going for a joke or tease and it didn’t come out right.
So you accidentally called her a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.
Hey, it happens.
Just try your best not to do something like that again, alright?
But just in case, I’m going to leave you with a failed attempt of a tease I saw a client of mine make once:
#8: You were too thirsty
We’re all on dating apps to get lucky.
But that doesn’t mean you can run around Tinder like a pitbull in heat.
Even if she’s attracted to you, she probably doesn’t want to hear how badly you want to see her pleasure water.
Even if you’re not explicit in your language, you also don’t want to pressure too hard for her number or date.
That still makes her feel you only want her for her body.
Women enjoy being wooed. So keep it light, fun and flirty.
Check out my next article for tips:
#9: You took too long to text back
Some girls just don’t have the patience to wait.
Especially if she has an army of boys to choose from.
So making her wait days for a reply could earn you a trip to her discard pile.
#10: You took too long to ask her out
An incredibly common and dangerous game to play on Tinder:
Waiting forever to ask her out.
Even if she really likes you, she only has so much patience before she moves on to the next guy.
Do you take weeks to ask her out?
Then you’re probably waiting too long.
Especially if there are already signs that she’s interested.
You know, stuff like this:
- Texting back quickly
- Asking you questions
- And sending you nudes (I’m kidding)
These are only a few of the signs that show she likes you, for more check out this next article:
#11: She deleted her account
Tinder doesn’t notify you why a girl disappeared from your inbox.
So it’s very possible that she disappeared by deleting her account.
Doesn’t that possibility make you feel a little bit better?
#12: She accidentally swiped you right
You’ve probably had this happen to you once:
You accidentally swipe a girl right that you didn’t like, got a match and then quickly unmatched her before she had time to say hi.
Well, girls can be just as clumsy as us.
So if you got a notification of a new match and didn’t find a new cutie in your inbox, she probably unmatched already.
Better that it happens like this then after texting for weeks, right?
#13: You don’t use proper grammar
It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it.
A 2016 survey by Zoosk revealed that bad grammar is the biggest online dating dealbreaker.
Don’t give them a dumb reason like grammar or punctuation to unmatch you.
Don’t be lazy with your apostrophes.
Do proofread your texts before you send them.
#14: You said something that was a dealbreaker
Out of all the reasons, this is the one you should feel happiest about:
You said something that didn’t line up with her lifestyle and values.
Sure, it sucks to be unmatched by a girl you liked.
But do you really want to date someone who doesn’t like you back?
However, I do feel like it’s important to give you some examples of unmatch-worthy texts.
It’s when you values don’t align, like this:
#15: She’s not emotionally available
It’s possible she’s fresh out of a relationship and afraid to start dating or even attempt to.
Why is she on Tinder you ask?
Maybe her friends pressured her into making a Tinder account.
And after getting a few too many shitty pick-up line she realized that she wasn’t ready to date.
#16: She’s a catfish
Getting unmatched in the next scenario is probably the worst:
You’ve been texting for days, perhaps even weeks and got along great.
Because it went so well you’re making plans to finally meet.
But as you’re trying to move things forward, you notice she’s pulling back until you finally see she’s no longer in your inbox.
She unmatched you.
If a girl unmatches you right in the middle of setting up the date (and showed tons of interest before), it’s likely that she was a catfish who was afraid to get caught.
But ultimately for the best. Because I doubt you’d enjoy meeting Brie and then finding out she’s actually a towering bricklayer called Bob.
Anyway, these were the 16 reasons she unmatched you on Tinder.
To prevent you from getting unmatched in the future, I want to give you my most effective opener and follow-up texts to keep her interested.
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