“What are you looking for on Tinder?”
Many women love to ask it.
Most men dread to answer it.
“What are you looking for on Tinder?”
Today, we’re going to discuss why that question is so important to women and how to answer it depending on your desires.
- 7 Copy pastable answers to “What are you looking for on Tinder?”
- Why women love to ask that head spinning question
- The trick to build your own personal answer that every women will respect
- The cold, hard truth on using the word “sex”
- 3 Funny example texts to send her
- How to never be asked “What are you looking for on Tinder?” again
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
Before we get into figuring out the right answer. We first ought to find out why women on Tinder like to send you the following text:
Because if we don’t know why she’s asking the question in the first place, you have a slim chance of giving her the answer she wants.
IMPORTANT: Just because you want to give your Tinder crush the ‘right’ answer doesn’t mean you should pretend to be someone you’re not. In the end it’s all about being yourself and not the person she wants you to be.
Right after the why, you’re going to get the most common pitfalls when answering “What are you looking for on Tinder?”. And how to make a good impression, regardless of whether she shares your views.
From there, I’ll give you the copy pastable lines you so greatly desire.
Let’s get into the why.
Why do women love to ask this question?
As is well established, Tinder is falsely known as the hookup app.
Not every woman is looking for a fling or a hookup. Many, in fact, are looking for something meaningful.
So asking, “What are you looking for on Tinder?” works well as a filter.
Just like the right question in a game of Guess Who?, your answer lets her know if she’s on the right track: would I like to date him or not?
Now, I already put you on a false trail.
You probably think the people who ask you this question DON’T want hookups and DO want relationships.
Someone might also ask you this question to discover other traits and desires of yours. Such as:
- “Is he truthful?”
- “Is he a dating app try hard?”
- “Is he desperate for a relationship or simply open to finding one?”
- “If he doesn’t want a relationship, will he use grownup words or beat around the bush?”
- “Does he want more than a fling, but less than a relationship, AKA a fuckbuddy?”
So what seems like a simple question actually gives a woman a ton of info.
Which is why you want to get the answer right.
By which I mean: give the answer that most closely matches your desires.
We’ll find out what that looks like soon.
“What are you looking for?” and its tricky details
Her goal is clear: she wants to see if you share the same priorities as her. Which often leads to guys making the next mistake:
“Hmm… I wonder what she wants to hear…”
Look, I understand that frame of mind. But that mindset will RUIN your chances with women.
Because you’re trying to match her idea of the perfect partner, rather than think if she matches your idea of the perfect partner.
Which shows me you’re willing to lie about your standards (or that you have no standards) because…
…you’re coming from a position of scarcity.
In short, you feel like you need to make every match count.
And so you lie about what you’re looking for instead of fixing the real problem:
- Upgrading your profile so you get HELLA matches
- Understanding what women really want
What do women really want?
A man who has the guts to be himself and speak his mind.
Ninety percent of dudes are trying to smile and ‘nice guy’ their way into a woman’s panties.
With every guy pretending to be Prince Charming, women have grown tired of the fakery.
Now, women want to date real men (even if he only wants to keep it casual).
My long-winded point?
Never try to give an answer you assume she’ll want to hear. Be your genuine self.
Did she ask you what you’re looking for on Tinder?
Answer her question based on:
- Your ‘relationship’ desires
- The context of the conversation
The first bullet we already discussed, but the second came flying out of left field.
So let me explain.
If she asks you what you’re looking for early on in the conversation, she’s a dating newb.
I know she’s trying to screen, but by filtering on relationships so early in the convo, she’s telling me that she values the idea of a relationship more than exploring the person she just matched with.
Suppose you got on Tinder looking for something casual, but you met someone who you have an AMAZING click with, and who makes you not want to date anyone else.
You’re not going to say, “Well, shit. Too bad I got on Tinder to find hookups! Better never text you again.”
The opposite is also true.
If you meet someone you have chemistry with, unbelievable sex with, but who you can’t seriously date in the long term…
…You won’t go, “Shame we met and had an epic time, because I’m only looking for a wife! BYE!”
You’ll keep her around as a friend.
So if she asks you what you’re looking for EARLY in the conversation, a serious answer isn’t worth your time. Go funny instead (I’ll give you a few good lines in the next tip).
Does she ask you LATER in the convo, I recommend you to be serious. Because your answer may be what decides if she wants to meet you in real life or not.
With all the theory out of the way, let’s get into some concrete, stealable answers.
How to answer “What are you looking for on Tinder?”
The moment you’ve all been waiting for…
How to answer, “What are you looking for on Tinder?”
For any of the following lines to work, you obviously want to use the line that best resonates with your situation.
- Only want to test the springs in her mattress a couple of times?
- Want a chill girl who you can play hide the salami with on the regular?
- Want to go traditional and commit to a girl until you find out you’re not a match?
- Have no idea what you want, but you’re open to anything?
- Want to enjoy your time until you find that special lady?
All valid desires. Each with their own specific answer.
Whatever you want, I recommend you tell the truth.
There’s just one problem with the truth… it can be told in a thousand ways.
That’s why I’m going to give you a copy pastable line for each of the above scenarios.
#1: What absolutely NOT to say
I’ve seen this guy-answer and it’s countless variations thousands of times and it makes me sick to my stomach:
Why does that answer make me sick to my stomach?
Because it’s a BIG. FAT. FUARKING. LIE!
Every guy knows why he’s on Tinder: to meet chicks! (Sorry for the derogatory language, mom, but guys don’t call women ‘ladies’ behind closed doors.)
And your Tinder match knows what you want too.
So when you beat around the bush or keep it vague, that’s a HUGE red flag to her.
Equally bad answers are:
Sure, it could be genuine. And in some cases it is. But 99,23459% of guys who send similar texts aren’t being genuine.
Those guys are just afraid to tell the truth and scare her off.
Tldr; if you want to have casual sex with women (whether you’re open to a relationship or not), tell her directly or at the very least imply it.
If you don’t, she’ll likely lose all respect for you. Unless she actually believes your horseshit about being ‘curious.’
Read on to find out how the most successful men say they want casual sex.
#2: You’re looking to hook up
Sure, it sounds crass. But if school or work leaves you with little time for regular meetups, it makes perfect sense.
The beauty of the ‘fuckboi’ desire is that it leaves you lots of options.
Dodging the question with humor will give most girls the idea that you’re not looking for anything serious.
Which is why humor is one of my favorite ways to answer when I’m in a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’m mood.
Let me give you an example:
“Louis, is that a ‘REAL man’ answer? Sure doesn’t feel like it.”
I get what you’re saying.
Why not just say S-E-X, right?
Because that can be read as, “I’m a walking penis with no standards and who likes holes.”
And that RARELY gets a good reaction—unless you’re her type—because most women don’t like to feel dispensable.
Even though you just want sex, she still wants to be ‘picked’ as your acrobatics partner based on her personality. Or, at the very least…
She wants to be wooed.
So the least you want to do is flirt and make the Tinder convo worth her while.
Find it tough to be flirty on command?
Although I have plenty of articles that help you raise attraction over text.
I have a far quicker method for you to flirt with the ladies.
The 10 Texts That Always Work.
#3: When you want a friend with benefits
If you want a casual buddy with whom you can also do the bedroom mambo…
Humor isn’t your go-to method of choice.
Because you want more than just a pretty face. You also want someone who doesn’t drive you crazy outside the boudoir.
In fact, you’d probably like it if you ‘click.’
In that case you want to write an answer based on…
To keep it simple, here’s what I mean:
It’s light-hearted and funny. And in my case there’s also a truth to it: I can’t stand people who leave a roll of cardboard in the toilet paper holder.
This humorous answer with a hint of ‘standards’ shows her that I’m probably looking for someone who I’m going to see more than once. And that I’m not necessarily looking for something serious.
So the meaning is open, although it’s unlikely I’m looking for a one night stand.
#4: When you’re open for anything
When this is you, the answer is simple:
The above texts will likely get you lots of good responses.
- You’re completely transparent, which is rare to find
- You’re open to a relationship, which is a mature trait
- You have standards, a fun personality and good sex isn’t necessarily relationship material to you
- You’re confident, because you don’t have to use a euphemism for the word ‘sex’
#5: When you want a committed relationship
I’m about to rub some of you the wrong way, but I feel that this is something you need to hear.
Just because you want a committed relationship, doesn’t mean dating is all about finding The One. And that you should stop seeing someone just because that person doesn’t know exactly what they want.
It’s totally fine to go on dates and see where things go.
If you’re constantly seeing how every Tinder match holds up to your standards, you’ll turn dating into a stress fueled series of interviews.
Anyway, if a committed relationship is what you want, you never want to write an answer that basically tells your Tinder match:
“I’m desperate to get married and have 5 kids.”
That’s why I recommend you answer “What are you looking for on Tinder?” like this:
It shows you’re not a needy romantic, but actually a man with a big heart who isn’t playing around.
It wouldn’t surprise me if these lines even get girls with casual intentions to try and win you over.
You just seem so darn mature.
#6: When you want to enjoy your time until you find that special lady
I currently fall into this boat, which means I like evening calisthenics with beautiful women, but am also open to a serious and loving relationship.
It also means that I’ve experimented with phrasing this desire for quite a while.
Curious about the best way to phrase it?
Here’s my two takes. Pick whichever you prefer:
Go with whichever you like.
Both should get you the results you want.
#7: When you feel like joking around
Sometimes you just don’t feel like being serious.
I wouldn’t evade the question too much since it will look like you’ve got something to hide.
But still, sometimes it’s better to just make her laugh and goof around.
Then I suggest some of these funny answers to the question:
Or maybe even more ridiculous:
Or lastly, this one will be riskier so you might want to try the first few options.
But here it goes:
Use the last answer at your own risk! When she’s laughing her ass off from all your Tinder jokes you might get away with it.
Now a very important topic for you, my friend:
Never get asked “What are you looking for on Tinder?” again
Some of you may not mind getting this question (especially now you know what to answer.)
Others may find it annoying or even hate it.
If you fall in the hate category, let me help you on how to never get this question again.
“Is that even possible, Louis?”
Yep. And it’s quite simple. Depending on your date desires.
The reason she asks you what you’re looking for on Tinder, is because she doesn’t know what you want.
What if I told you that you can tell her what you want without even sending her a text.
Communicate what you want with your Tinder profile!
Do you want to keep it casual?
Have a collection of photos that portray you as a fun bachelor. Such as by having a good mix of masculine but friendly photos. Think: dark clothes, a bit of a stubble or beard, slick haircut, some shots that reveal your muscular physique, and a candid photo of you hiking in the mountains.
Do you want a serious relationship?
“I get it, Louis! Then you have romantic photos and have a bio that says:”
No hookups or ONS
I dig the enthusiasm, my friend.
But you’re slightly off the mark.
You see, by writing a bio that reads “no hookups or ONS” or “not looking for something casual and not interested in anyone fresh out of a relationship”…
…you’re doing more than communicating your standards.
Because what does she see in a Tinder ‘about me’ like that?
Your emotional baggage.
She’ll likely assume, “Okay, so he’s been in a bunch of casual relationships where he wanted more and she didn’t. Why didn’t these women want more? And what’s with this criteria of not wanting a girl who is fresh out of a relationship?”
The point is, stuff like that makes you sound bitter and butthurt.
By saying what you DON’T want, you’re actually saying what you’ve had in the past.
So I recommend you say what you DO want.
Suppose you want a relationship, fill your bio with:
Looking for someone else who’s excited about building a connection
Or get even more specific and say:
Looking for a cute butt to rest my head on while I watch Ducktales reruns
Whatever it is that you do with your profile, the main thing I want you to take away is this:
Build the dating profile that will ATTRACT the person you WANT.
Want help on building the ultimate dating profile?
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And grab my Checklist that points out all the holes in your profile. Plus gives you the answer on how to fix them.
That pretty much wraps up today’s article.
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For more tips, check out these articles:
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