You’re starting a new conversation with someone you really like. But there’s one problem.
You don’t know what to say after hi.
No worries. After reading this article you’ll always know exactly to say to make a great impression.In this article:More...
Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.
10 Best replies to ‘Hi’ over text
If you’re looking for quick replies when she only said ‘hi’, check out these 10 great lines. For more tips how to open your conversation, check out the tips below.
- Haha oh shit! Not sure if you remember [wait until they reply, then answer with a random but fun trivia fact].
- What’s up? I’m cooking up some yummy burrrrrrrritos.
- Slow down m’lady. I like to be wooed first before we have such lewd conversations.
- Howdy. Just fired up the new Marvel movie. ✨✨
- Sipping on a glass of vino. You more into red or white?
- Waddup, senorita. I’m about to hit the gym.
- I bet you say that to all the guys, playa. 😉
- Yo, quick question: would you rather never be able to do a good smokey eye or never be able to do a good contour?
- You gals are just so creative with your icebreakers. I don’t know how you do it. 🌚
- Are you flirting with me? 😉
Creating attraction early in conversations: The pendulum effect
First let’s have a look at what you’re trying to achieve. You’re probably into someone, and eventually want to get them on a date.
Now, the worst way to do that is by just having a friendly conversation. Unfortunately that seems to be the go-to strategy for most guys.
‘If I talk to her long enough, she will realize how nice I am and start to like me.’
The Best strategy that I teach all my TextGod followers is what I call: The Pendulum Effect.
Imagine a pendulum. It resembles her emotions.
One side is showing you like her and the other side is being a challenge.
In the middle, when the pendulum (and her emotions) are at peace, is the dreaded friendzone.
Now, when you have normal friendly conversations in which you get to know eachother, the pendulum stays calmly in the middle. She isn’t feeling much at all. Sending you straight to the friendzone.
Instead, you want to make her feel a whole range of positive emotions. And you do that by applying the Pendulum Effect.
You continuously swich between showing you like her, and being a challenge by teasing her.
Doing this early in your convo, ensures that it will never get boring and she’ll start to feel more attraction.
Keep this in mind while reading the tips below. You’ll notice everything adds to the Pendulum Effect.
6 Great things to say after ‘hi’, ‘hey’ or ‘hello’
Like talking in real life, conversing over text is an elusive concept.
Many people want to be great in conversation, but how many people are actually great conversationalists?
That’s why I’m about to get REALLY specific and give you 6 ways to win someone over after hi.
1. Build suspense
When most people match with someone and get into a traditional convo, they rush into the next topic.
But what these people don’t realize, is that they’re not being captivating. If you want someone to listen and engage with you, you must captivate them.
How do you do that?
interesting about bartenders?
There’s no way your match will zone out,because you stopped on a cliffhanger. She’d LOVE to hear what you think about bartenders.
Because she IS one. Plus, by firing off the suspense text, you keep the conversation rolling while buying yourself some time to think up your answer.
Now, you can also use this principle right from the start. Send her for example a similar question related to her profile or your real-life conversation.
‘Do you know what I find interesting about…’
One of the most important aspects of texting is momentum:
Keeping the conversational ball rolling for extended periods of time.
If you exchange 1 – 3 texts a day, you’ll eventually lose her interest.
Because your conversation is staying too superficial. You’re just skimming the surface.
And she can’t get a good idea of what it’s like to hang out with you.
So try to have text exchanges of 10 – 15 minutes so she can feel how fun you are.
Because if she doesn’t feel like the convo is fun, she definitely won’t want to meet up.
For more on what to say after the suspense text, check out my Clickbait Opener.
It can be used any time to build suspense. Plus, you get 2 lines to reel her in even further.
2. Tease her
Here comes a quick personal story.
A close friend of mine has a buddy called Mike. My bro always speaks really highly of Mike. But for the longest time, I never met him.
Until one day the stars aligned and the three of us were going to hang out.
Now what do you imagine would have been the best way to break the ice with Mike? (Yes, this is real life but the same principles apply to texting.)
I could have said:
“Hey, Mike. Nice to meet you. Heard so much about you.”
Let’s try something else. I could have also gone with:
“Hey, Mike. My bro always speaks so highly of you.”
Authentic and better than what most people would do. But we can do even better:
“Mike… how much are you paying my bro to say good things about you?”
Now we’re teasing and putting Mike on the backfoot. But in a fun and playful way.
So: see if you can tease her right off the bat. For example with something in her profile.
Or if you got her phone number in real life, maybe there’s something from your conversation you can tease her on as a starter.
Not really sure on how to tease?
Just grab my 10 Texts That Always Work and get a couple stealable texts for nada.
– Fun answers to boring questions
– How to ask her out in a non-needy way
– How to write more attractive texts in general
3. Make her the expert
Everybody has different talents and experiences that we don’t. And it’s worth giving them credit.
Does her dating profile say she’s a management consultant? Make her the authority and ask her what that means.
around between 9 to 5?
As you can see, you don’t want to ask her in a boring way (remember the Pendulum Effect?) Fill in what you think her job may be. Plus, you earn points by being honest about what you don’t know.
Perhaps you do know what a management consultant is. In that case, earn points by making her the authority.
interns at my work
these lemmings, and I may take
you out to my favorite bar
4. Skip “Hi” and go straight to a good icebreaker
If you’re reading this, you’re completely focused on what to say after hi.
So you’ve got tunnel vision. And are unable to see what truly matters. Which is…
Why are you saying Hi in the first place?!
(Perhaps she’s the one saying hi, but please let me finish my rant and get to that later.) Hands down the most received text women get from men on Tinder, Instagram or any other texting platform is:
Or one of its countless variations.
These are a handful of texts my ex-girlfriend got on her Instagram in one day:
What does that mean?
‘Hi’ triggers ZERO emotions for her. While the text may once have made her feel flattered, now it hurts her soul. This means you should stay away from hi at all times.
“At all times, Louis?”
Hi earns you a direct trip to her spam folder. And you don’t want that. If you’re going to open a girl on Tinder, slide into a girls DMs, or hit up a girl on Facebook…
You always want to stand out from the rest or else she’ll likely lose interest.
And can you blame her?
Hi adds nothing to the conversation, besides starting it. Even if she likes you, she probably won’t reply anything more exciting than:
So if that’s the best possible response you can get from Hi, why even bother?
Imagine you could break the ice with an opener that would trigger her to reply with multiple texts.
Wouldn’t that be great?
Here’s how: keep it personal.
Suppose the girl you like is a scuba instructor.
What’s a simple text you could send her that is miles better than hi?
first one I trust to ask
For more icebreakers and inspiration for a first text, check out my next article.
5. Compliment her with a Pendulum-swing
The best opener motivates a woman to:
- Reply (I’m sure you know how important that is).
- Reply with more than one text.
- Reply with positivity.
Pretty damn good.
So how do you write the best opener? Just steal my next template.
but I had to text you after I saw you
Next, you fill in the blank.
Maybe a band, videogame, movie, or hobby. Anything that you do truly like.
Besides being relevant, this opener is good because it lets you hold onto your power: you aren’t all-in, you’re still curious if you’d get along.
Since most girls get compliments on their looks, you stand out for trying to build a connection by commenting on her taste and personality.
Here’s another template that just came to me:
what you did in photo (blank)
Then you want to hit her with the punchline.
Want to keep it silly? Send this text right after:
Want to keep it flirty? Go with this:
“Louis, aren’t you now doing exactly what you just told us was a bad idea: complimenting her looks.”
Kinda, yeah. But with a twist.
I am combining both sides of the Pendulum Effect. It’s a compliment wrapped up in a tease or challenge.
It solves one huge issue what many guys suffer from:
Keeping it too nice. Too friendly. This way you’ll instantly set the right tone.
And because she knows you’re interested in her sexually, she’s more likely to excuse a little boring conversation later.
6. Get her to chase you by being radically authentic
Knowing what to say after hi is good.
Knowing how to make her chase you after hi is better. And it’s something all of my clients want to get better at.
Because one of the the biggest complaints I get in my coaching calls and emails is:
“Why do girls always put in so little effort? I’m tired of putting in all the work.”
To which I always reply:
“Have you ever made her feel that she may not be able to get you?”
The answer is almost always no.
Now, I don’t want you to do this as some kind of trick. She will be able to smell the fakery from a mile away.
The best way to do this is by applying what I call: Radical Authenticity.
Because right now you’re NOT being authentic. You’re trying to behave in a way you think she’ll like.
The truth is this: The more radically authentic you are, the more she will like you.
Because she will see the real you. And she’ll feel that she has to proof herself to you too.
You’ll call her out on her bullshit. And you won’t treat her different or extra special.
Suppose the girl you’re chatting with isn’t a great texter and is leaving you to do all the heavy lifting.
Maybe she sent you this.
The ultimate I like you but I don’t know what to say-text. What’s a playful HIGH-VALUE text that could get her to try a little harder?
out a more specific question and try again 😉
It’s flirty and forces her to try harder.
Let’s discuss another scenario you’ll run into: the low-invest thank you after you blew her away with your opener.
Let me give you a good example using my own text. Context: she was swinging around the American flag and felt bad because Trump was president.
How did she reply?
As you can see I didn’t reply to the first text she sent, because it was a terribly low investment.
She caught on later and doubletexted me.
But it wasn’t much better.
So what did I say?
Now, please keep in mind: I opened the conversation with a very high-investment text. So I have the ‘right’ to be extra cheeky and call her out for writing generic lines.
Now, to prove that being cheeky works:
Not only did she send me three texts, she even started to prove her worth to me: “I’m pretty far from generic.”
Now for a third and final scenario that you’ll find yourself in: when she goes silent on the day of the date.
Yes, I know. You’re not quite at the stage of setting up the date.
But you will be soon enough.
When that time comes, you want to know what to do if you haven’t texted in a few days. And she’s quiet on the day of the date.
Here’s the high-value and radically authentic response to her silence:
I haven’t heard from you and I have
other things I’d like to do if not 🙂
You’re speaking your mind, showing you have standards, and keeping it respectful.
3 Common mistakes after saying ‘hi’
1. Being too linear and predictable
For guys, it’s typically easier to think in straight lines, not squiggly lines.
But keeping your conversations too structured leads to disaster.
Better known as: boredom. Because when she’s bored, you lose her attention. And probably all chances of meeting up with her.
So what’s the key to good conversation?
How do you stay interesting? By thinking of conversation as basketball, not tennis.
You see, tennis is very linear. The ball moves from one side of the net to the other, until one guy hits a homerun… or something.
And so on.
Basketball is much more free and unpredictable. When you get the ball, you can: dribble, shoot, pass, do layups, dunks, tricks… Plus, you can move into all directions.
Suppose she sends you a boring question:
You could answer her question and smack it right back. Or you could think in terms of basketball:
You recognized she didn’t have anything fun to say. So you did her a favor and answered a ‘hidden’ question that you thought was worthwhile and interesting.
2. Not editing your life
Life tosses stuff at you 24 hours a day. So you’re always dealing with new events, experiences, and feelings.
Where’s the texting mistake?
Most people don’t know how to edit the boring stuff out of their lives.
So when a girl asks:
These people don’t have an immediate answer ready.
(That line was an exaggeration.) Or perhaps you have a holiday photo on your Tinder and a girl asks about your trip to Hong Kong. To which you answer:
You know, so much great stuff. It was
busy and we went out a lot. The people
This is boring because it’s more or less the answer you’d expect!
Plus, it’s such a general description of a trip that it could apply to any other big city.
What you ought to do is relive the experience in your mind and edit out the boring. Or even easier, pick out the good.
4 Streets with 100s of bars. The best
thing? Every bar only has like 5 seats.
So if you visit a bar with friends, you take
every seat in the house. And
basically get your own personal
See the difference?
Edit your memories and take out the highlights.
3. Not sharing your highlights
Most people are stuck in a routine. And have been stuck in that routine for weeks, months… perhaps even years.
If you do the same things over and over again, you kind of get stuck.
At least, conversationally.
If you’re bored of your own life, you won’t ever talk about it with excitement.
Those are the words of someone who doesn’t like his job. Or is a terrible storyteller.
If you’re able to look at your life with excitement, you’ll become excited. And let me tell you, an excited person is almost always interesting to listen to.
get more money
“But Louis, I don’t like my job and I don’t have the money to do exciting stuff like sky-diving and traveling the world.”
But I’m not asking you to do anything crazy expensive. Heck, you could even pick up a good book.
Did you know that giant, 20 feet high (6 meters) sloths once roamed the earth? These sloths weighed 4.4 tons! A full-grown grizzly bear only weighs 500 pounds.
I didn’t know anything about giant sloths either until I read about it in Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind.
So when someone asks me what I’ve been up to lately, I talk about giant sloths. And have some pretty fun conversations.
So find the excitement in your life by stimulating yourself. (Hehehe, masturbation jokes.)
Whether that stimulation comes from books, work, sports, tv shows, you name it.
Differences in what to say after “hi” on different apps
You’re probably in one of these three situations:
- You met her in real life and got her number
- You matched her on a dating app
- You saw her socials and want to chat her up
Each situation requires a slightly different approach.
If you met her in real life, you want to start your conversation right where you left off in real life.
Don’t “start over”. Never say anything like “Do you remember me?”.
Go straight into the conversation with some joke or tease that refers to something you were talking about.
If you matched her on a dating app you haven’t build a connection yet. So you should be slightly less extreme in your first messages.
Pick something that stands out from her pictures, something that’s not to obvious, and make a smart comment that’s slightly teasing as well.
If she doesn’t know you and you want to slide into her DM’s on social media, make sure to stand out. Changes are she gets weird requests all the time from “fans”.
So you have to make sure you stand out by NOT showing her how much you admire her like all her other followers. Rather make a smart remark that shows you’re on her level.
That almost marks the end of what to say after hi. Before I sign off, one last thing.
You obviously want to apply the tips and tricks from this article, which means you need more matches.
A tool that’ll help you find and fix all the weaknesses in your dating profile. Whether it’s Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or whatever.
Enjoy your new matches, bro.
And don't forget your download below ;)