This article will give you:
- The REAL meaning when she doesn’t text back (and if it means if she is interested or not)
- 15 Juicy screenshots of conversations to learn from
- The 3 most painful texting mistakes that cause her to stop replying
- What it means if she doesn’t reply after you give a compliment
- 2 Ways to revive dead conversations
- An easy copy-paste text to confirm the date, when you didn’t get a response
- The precise number of texts you should send to get a date with her
- What to say to her now (copy pastable lines!)
- Much more…
No reply? Here’s why
You had a connection with a really cute girl.
You exchanged phone numbers and then suddenly…
You never heard from her again. She stopped responding.
Or rather, the two of you texted for some time, but then OUT OF NOWHERE she stops texting you back.
“What the f#ck?! What did I do wrong? What happened? Am I missing something?”
Sometimes the feeling of making a mistake is so strong that you start to doubt whether you even deserve her.
You check your phone every minute and when it vibrates or beeps, you immediately look to see if it’s her.
Aaaah, those are some intense feelings man.
I understand you’re feeling lost when you’ve resumed a conversation with someone who stopped responding.
Luckily my days of dealing with that kind of bullshit are over. But I assure you, I had my share “in the good old time”.
I’ve learned my lessons from those experiences bro. And I’m sharing them with you today.
The 3 most painful mistakes (avoid these!)
What do most guys do when a girl stops texting back?
They start to feel really bad, panic, and check their phone every 3 minutes.
Worst of all: they’ll send an extra text.
(Sending a second text is not intrinsically a bad idea. I’ll come back to that later. However, the specific texts that most guys send, are more than bad.)
Listen, you’re convinced you did something wrong… but you have no clue what it is. So you’re endlessly re-reading and analyzing your conversation.
And I’m going to be brutally honest with you now: You’re not able to spot your blunders and consequently make the right moves.
Otherwise you wouldn’t be making the same mistakes time and time again and you wouldn’t end up on this page.
And because you’re not sure why she’s not responding, chances are you’re doing the following:
You double check if she’s read your last text. Or you bring up the same topics again.
Okay, imagine that on Wednesday you proposed for a date in the weekend.
Good for you to already propose for a date on a Wednesday. If you’d ask later in the week your chances would decrease drastically. Arranging dates last minute won’t succeed as often.
The more organized your girl is, the earlier you want to ask her out.
So you sent the date proposition on Wednesday but she didn’t answer. Did you send something afterwards like:
“Hey I’m not sure if you read my text but I was wondering if you already have plans this weekend?”
Double checking if she read your text is common mistake #1
It’s nearly begging her for her response text.
Perhaps in the past you’ve sent something like:
“Hmm ok apparently your plan is to ignore everyone :P”
Laughing about the fact she’s not responding is common mistake #2
Or perhaps you just waited out and sent her a text like this:
“And, what did you do last weekend?”
Asking her afterwards what she did that day is common mistake #3
Each of these three mistakes will only succeed very sporadically. Even if you think you’re coming across as ironic… you’re not. You seem butthurt and maybe even passive aggressive.
There’s a reason she stopped responding bro. And yes, sometimes she just forgets to text back. But even then, those kinds of texts are not going to leave a good impression.
Pushing a girl to respond is never a good idea. Who do you think you are? Her mom?
The real problem is not that she missed your last text…
The real problem is that you’re NOT ATTRACTIVE anymore.
It’s possible that you weren’t attractive from the start. But that’s out of your control at this point and not our focus point today. Because at least an equal amount of time, you WERE attractive.
The tricky thing is that her attraction for you can shift as quickly as you can orgasm when your celebrity crush is massaging your balls with her mouth.
And, to make it even worse: you’re NOT the only guy texting her. Because you’re reading this, I know you have good taste. Good taste for advice and –judging the ladies my students date –good taste in women.
You’re NOT the only guy texting her
Of course, the benefit of your exquisite taste is that you’re attracted to prettier women.
The drawback? A LOT of guys are chasing her.
To give you an idea:
In the last 24 hours, my girlfriend received, JUST on Instagram, 29 messages. Twentynine.
(Her ‘berichtverzoeken’ are ‘message requests’. Her phone is in Dutch, as she is from Belgium.)
Of course I know this is an extreme case. But it paints the picture.
By the way, I don’t post these screenshots to fill the page. I’m posting them so you’re getting an insight in the texts of average guys.
There are a couple of hard lessons to be learned from those screenshots, and it’s up to you to find them.
Oh and by the way, do you want to know how you DO succeed on Instagram? Check my Instagram article.
But CHILL OUT. Don’t panic! We are going to fix the problem of her not responding.
I’m now going to list every possible cause of the problem.
Grab your phone and look at all the conversations that went dead. Or perhaps you know them by heart already.
In any case, we’re going to point out your problems together and tackle them head on. So next time you’ll be the dude that succeeds in arranging a date with her while your competition keeps making mistake after mistake.
We can put all your problems in two categories. The first one is the smallest of the two. It contains all the things you can’t control.
The second category is way bigger. This is where we put all the things you’re doing wrong at the moment. In your regular texts, Tinder conversations, dating site X and communication app Y. Every platform where you’re talking to women.
Category 1: Things outside your control
Read this carefully because it will give your head some serious rest.
Getting your mentality right is half the battle.
So take a deep breath and read the following so you can find the true meaning when she sends no response to your text.
Cause 1: This happened
Things happen, bro.
Left and right.
Every minute that passes by, 592 zillion things have happened. Some of those things change our lives in ways we could never expect.
Sometimes a girl sincerely likes you. And suddenly, out of nowhere, she’s realizing that she has to put her focus on something completely different.
Her health, her family, her career, a loss, a friendship.
Those aspects of life can be so important that they’ll take away her mind from that one cute guy. All of a sudden, when life takes an unexpected turn, he’s not important anymore.
So what happened? LIFE. Life happened. And it’s outside of your circle of influence.
When something like this happens, don’t be selfish. Give her time and space. Just text her again in a month or two, and you might be surprised by the positive text back you’ll receive.
Cause 2: The dark side of politeness
Most people try to avoid conflicts. Women are no exception.
When you’re texting a girl and you’re enjoying the conversation, it doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you. And even if she’s attracted to you, it’s possible she just isn’t in the mood for a date.
Or perhaps she WAS IN THE MOOD the moment she gave her number but that feeling disappeared the day after. Fair enough.
In any case, women know that situations can quickly become awkward when they refuse to give their phone number, so a lot of women just give their phone number to avoid conflict.
It’s way easier to ignore your texts than rejecting you face to face.
If you’re meeting a woman in real life (that’s to say: offline), you want to leave an impression.
If she gave her phone number but doesn’t respond the day after, it’s likely that she DID want to get to know you better at that specific moment.
But that feeling disappeared quickly after.
If that’s the case, you didn’t leave a strong enough impression on her. And, as you already know:
“You can make a girl feel anything except bored.”
I asked my girlfriend why she responded to my text the day after I had gotten her phone number. She said something like:
“I couldn’t remember whether you were attractive or not, but you left an impression which made me curious. I wanted to know what was behind the smooth talk.
So there you have it, it doesn’t all have to be one fluid speech, as a long as you leave a strong impression.
Cause 3: She’s busy
To my great frustration, I’ve noticed that some girls really are busy bees. Apparently not everyone has their phone at hand 24/7.
I know a lot of women who only check their phone once or twice a day. During public transport, during lunch break, and in the evening for example.
If you notice you’re texting someone who’s keeping work and phone-use strictly separated, stay patient.
She’s getting a lot of texts from guys that go mental when she doesn’t respond quickly. If you’re not one of these crybabies, you’re already one step ahead. Your confidence will make you stand out in a sea of needy men.
Myself, I’m spending an inhumane amount of time on Tinder. It’s just part of the job. Sometimes I open the app and am astonished that there are no new notifications…
…but when I go through the conversations again, I notice a lot of them were going great but it was my turn to text back again.
I probably read her text while busy writing an article for example. Or I’m thinking about what she just texted me and decide to reply later.
Yes, even when it’s a ridiculously lovely lady I’m really interested in.
It’s the same with a lot of the girls you’re texting.
If you’re texting with a busy bee, just give her at least one day to respond. If she hasn’t responded after that, then maybe she has forgotten you because she’s busy.
In that case, it’s best to resume the conversation in a calm, light-hearted way.
Especially pay attention that you’re NOT making one of the three common mistakes.
Category 2: Your possible weaknesses
Now, my dear reader…
However tempting it is to put the blame on things outside our control… it’s generally YOU that causes her to stop responding.
There are certain mistakes that guys keep making over and over. And because you’re not aware of them, you keep repeating these texting mistakes. You’re unintentionally sabotaging your way into the no reply zone.
We’re going to walk through the most common mistakes together so that we can point out your weak spots and eliminate them.
Weakness 1: She has lost interest
This is both a weakness of yours as well as the beginning of a dead conversation.
You’re doing something that causes her to stop responding.
It can be anything, but whatever it is… you’re not stimulating her enough to provoke a response.
If she’s not feeling any emotion with your texts, your conversation will go down faster than a drunk teen at an open bar in Cancun.
Weakness 2: You’re boring her
This one is short, yet important.
We’ve already discussed this earlier in the article and in the previous point on the list.
Boredom is the ultimate pussy-dryer.
Which certainly means a boring response, or a serious case of no reply-itis.
Do you ever text her one of the following things?
- You’re reporting to her that you’re hungry, tired or some other whiney fact
- You’re sending “how are you?” or “what are you doing?” out of nowhere.
- A comparable text that screams for attention instead of evoking emotions
Caught yourself recognizing one of these lines?
Then you’re going to boring instead of boning.
And women that you bore are going to ignore you, hoping that you’ll leave them alone.
So check your phone, what were your last few messages. Maybe now you see the meaning of her no reply to your text.
Weakness 3: You’re being a kiss ass
Women are absurdly beautiful and some are even ridiculously funny.
Maybe you’re just a good guy making other people happy.
In any case, you have to know that giving a lot of compliments won’t help you.
You turn into a nasty bootlicker because of this.
And who are the typical guys that give a lot of compliments?
- Her gay best friend
- The typical flatterer whom she knows that everything he says is a straight attempt to get in her pants
- The dude that’s stuck on the deepest friendzone level and only receives texts when she’s feeling insecure and needs some validation.
Imagine for a second that you know two chicks: Tina and Louise.
They’re both equally cute and beautiful.
Tina gives you compliments each time you see her. Your hair looks nice, your shoes are beautiful, your taste in music is good, you name it.
Louise is sparser with her compliments. She thought your hair was just as good before the haircut and your jacket is not really her thing. But when you bought those new shoes, she told you how nice you looked with them and how hot they are.
Whose compliments are going to make the biggest impact?
Whose sweet words are going to tickle your little heart?
Think of this when you’re about to turn in a kiss ass again.
It might be the cause of her not texting you back. The value of your words might have plummeted by saturating the market with all your sweet words.
Here’s an example of how to do it differently, and she will attach more meaning to the conversation:
She texts a modest “Well thanks :)” but that one compliment already evoked more emotion than those 10 compliments of all the other guys in her inbox.
You better go against the flow now and then. Which leads us to the next weakness…
Weakness 4: You’re not going against the flow enough
Aaaah, going against the flow.
A personal favorite and specialty.
And also one of the most common problems for every guy on earth expect assholes.
The problem and its cause are simple.
Deep down you’re not feeling worthy of the woman you like.
If she’s says or does something that you don’t agree with, you tend to shut your mouth and nod. In this case in the form of a text. You agree, afraid that she’ll be cross with you or she’ll like you less if you disagree with her.
You don’t even need a conversation topic to disagree about.
Try and see what happens when you comment on her outfit, musical taste or hobby.
What happens when you tease her instead of flattering her?
Feeling better and acting like an asshole are not things to brag about.
But it can be useful to think about WHY some of the things that these guys do, cause so much attraction.
An oldie, when I was finding out how far I could take things.
Weakness 5: You’re not building on commonalities
The quickest way to a deep connection, you wonder?
You can exchange 7042 texts with a girl and then show me your conversation.
The depth of the connection she’s feeling with you can also be reached in 7000 texts less
By digging after the things she likes that you like AS WELL.
Tim here has got deep connections with about every woman he’s ever spoken to because he’s such a damn good digger.
Did you ever have that moment when someone shares their favorite movie or album with you and it happens to be your favorite as well?
How did that feel?
Exactly, f#cking great and the conversation that followed went effortlessly.
In this screenshot I’m sending her a link to a song.
When she says she likes it, I send her a similar song.
“Coincidentally” she also likes that song. Moreover, it even appears to be her favorite song by that band.
These small things cause her to feel a much deeper connection to you.
If trivial things like musical taste already have such an impact…
…what do you think happens when you share the same view on really heavy subjects?
or when you’ve both experienced some deeply emotional stuff?
Weakness 6: You’re investing the wrong way
Did your conversation ever end with you holding a monologue?
It might explain why you had no response from her.
Was it a monologue intended to keep the conversation going, but instead your conversation partner bailed out?
There they are…your texts. All alone, surrounded by their eternal echo.
Everyone saying they’ve never experienced this is a filthy liar and from now on banished from this article.
Either way, from time to time you’re investing too much in the conversation with your lady, bro. And we’ve got to do something about that.
Let me show you this nice drawing from my #Online Dating Tips article:
This, my dear friend, is a weighing scale. A scale that works on magic, because the scales are not physically connected.
On the left is a pretty lady and, on the right, an interesting gentleman.
Beneath her is a green button. Beneath him a red button.
Her button is green because you want to push it. Your button (you’re the interesting gentleman) is red because you NEVER want to push this one.
The person that’s investing the most in the conversation will become heavier and descend towards the button.
Your goal? Getting her side of the scale to lower enough to press the button.
Once a woman’s investing so much that she’s pretty much carrying the conversation, you can be sure she likes you.
Read the wise words of Benjamin P. Hardy for a second:
If you work hard in a particular class, you’ll love that class. If you work hard on a project, you’ll love that project. If you work hard writing a paper, you’ll love that paper. If you invest yourself in a relationship, you’ll love that person.”
If you work hard in a particular class, you’ll love that class.
If you work hard on a project, you’ll love that project.
If you work hard writing a paper, you’ll love that paper.
If you invest yourself in a relationship, you’ll love that person.”
Well said, Benjamin.
But okay, how do you do that?
That by itself is a topic for a book twice the size of the Bible. Maybe I’ll write it one day…
Anyway, I’m going to give you some tips already that you can instantly apply.
First and foremost, it has to be YOU who’s investing most at the start. You can’t expect a girl to throw herself at you right away.
If you take the lead, you can lead her right towards you, so to speak.
Be careful: You only want to do this at the start of the conversation. From then on, you want her to take over more and more. If you’re exchanging texts for a while, then you’ll want to return about two thirds of her investment.
Also, you want to be asking the right questions.
If you want her to invest more, you want to avoid all these:
- Closed questions
- Yes/no questions
- Other questions that can be answered with short texts
‘WHY-questions’ will get a lot more depth from her responses.
Of course, not every question has to be a super deep ‘why question’. Sometimes small questions will also get her talking. Like in this WhatsApp message example:
She’s sending a photo because she has something to celebrate.
Of course, you’re going to ask what she’s celebrating.
But if you’ve paid close attention, I’m also building on commonalities. I’m seeing an empty whiskey bottle in the background.
I like to drink whiskey myself, so that’s a potential subject to bond over.
A bit further in the conversation the whiskey topic comes up again, “Aberlour” (good stuff btw).
But first I’m asking her some quick questions about her ex. She’s celebrating that he’s not around for a week.
Once the quick questions are out of the way, you can easily ask her some heavier questions.
After a few short questions, I’m asking more open and deep questions like:
“That’s so intense damn. The moment you told him, how was that?”
She’s responding quite briefly here. If you’d dig a little deeper at this point, you’ll have her write you half a novel.
Instead I’m choosing to conclude this moment at an emotional peak, and end it here.
(context: I just played a two hour football game and she knows)
“I had such an intense 2 hour game I can’t human anymore. Bedtime. X”
Nasty move of me? Maybe.
Will she have a feeling that the conversation wasn’t finished yet and crave for more?
By the way, do you want to know how I use this principle to make women beg for a 2nd date? Then I have some good news for you because I’m sharing it in my #Tinder Date Tips article.
Time to share some solotions…
Video guide: How to get her to text back again
After this we will continue with weakness number 7 (a very important one for guys who look for a girlfriend).
But let me share some practical advice with you first.
In this video you get:
- 1 Copy paste sentence you can use to make her text back again!
- A story where I was rejected and butthurt (I am still ashamed of this)
- The #1 mistake when she doesn’t text back
- 6 More mistakes that guys make all the time
- The Sad Grandpa Effect explained
Weakness 7: You’re getting serious too quickly
Stopping this behavior in your texting will take some effort, but when you do it you’ll get better replies from women than usual.
Be honest here, do you get too serious too quickly sometimes? Meaning you’re lacking the fun flirting vibe, and you’re too deep into the following 6 things…
Because if your tone is too serious, chances are that you’re also being:
- Too vulnerable
- Sending Needy texts
- Getting friendzoned
- Seeming desperate
- Being to open
- Getting no response text from women, and asking yourself what this all means…
Look, becoming very serious is a super unattractive thing to do. Here’s why:
You can view male energy as a kind of untamable, reckless FORCE.
A woman wants to have the feeling that she had to win over your wild soul.
As if she had to tame a beautiful wild animal.
If a girl doesn’t have the feeling that she had to MAKE AN EFFORT for you, she’ll never take you seriously.
If she has the feeling that you were on your mission and she had to fight to win you over, she’ll be PROUD when you choose her.
So, next time you’re about to prematurely say sweet things, or express your feelings, before you even know if she likes you… just shut up.
I therefore prohibit you to:
- Send meaningless texts because you’re craving for her attention
- Share your secrets or emotional stories WITHOUT her asking for it
- Saying something overly sweet before she’s said something similar first.
If you expose everything just like that, what’s left for her to discover?
Women enjoy getting to know you bit by bit. They want to discover you one layer at the time and steadily get to know you better and deeper.
Did you ever know a girl that knew everything about you within several weeks or months?
If the answer’s yes, then you’re someone who gets serious too quickly.
As long as she wants to know more about you than you’re giving away, she’ll always respond to your texts and calls.
Weakness 8: You’re sending texts like an adolescent
Every now and then I hear someone say it’s a good idea to send more smileys.
“You’ll come across as less threatening!”
Uhm yes. And according to that logic you should buy a big bouquet of roses for every girl you take on a first date.
You’ll come across as less threatening.
Almost all advice about texting is about the content of texts. If we’re talking about the specific characters you’re using, I have two rules for you:
- Less smiley’s and emojis.
- More punctuation marks.
Those are the biggest differences between the texts of an ADULT and an adolescent.
Also make sure there are no grammar and spelling mistakes in your online dating profile.
I’m not the only one who thinks a chick making grammatical mistakes is a huge turnoff. 96% of women say they’re less likely to respond to someone with grammatical mistakes in their profile.
Anyway, back to the emojis.
My golden texting rule is this:
If your text hasn’t got the right meaning without an emoji, then it’s permitted to use one.
Myself, I maybe use an emoji once every 200 texts.
Or when I’m clearly bullshitting.
Generally, you’ll notice that women DO use emojis often. It’s a feminine trait.
Want to come across as feminine?
Right. Then stop putting “:p” or an emoji at the end of every sentence. And you’ll actually get her to respond from now on.
For more about success on Tinder and other datingapps, check the article I wrote about this topic.
Weakness 9: You’re a filthy tryhard
And just to be sure: with tryhard I do mean you’re trying too hard.
Not just trying to seduce her…
…you’re trying too hard to be what you think she wants you to be.
…you’re trying too hard to say what you think she wants to hear.
Guaranteed that you’re filtering what you’re saying, to prevent her from thinking you’re a weirdo.
You’re not a weirdo.
You’re just like the rest.
And that’s the last thing you ever want to be.
I hear it every day, that I’m a weirdo. And when a girl texts me back that she thinks I’m a weirdo, I know it’s in the bag.
This pretty blonde got it quite right when she texted me after midnight.
“But Louis, isn’t it more often a negative than a positive that she thinks you’re a weirdo?”
Good question, bro.
There’s a fine line between a WEIRDO, and a CREEPER.
If you’ve watched my Youtube videos or read my articles, you already know my philosophy:
“You want to be different than the rest.”
The thought behind this is simple:
“The rest” consists of 90% average men with zero sense of how to seduce women. They’re all copies of each other, saying the same bad boring lines.
If you start saying what you actually think, without filtering yourself, you’ll notice that you will be labeled as a weirdo more often.
Most men will defend themselves when a girl tells them they’re odd.
I’m popping a champagne bottle because I know I’ve successfully differentiated myself from the rest of the crowd.
Oh and did the emojis stand out?
Good. Now you have an idea how to use these things wisely.
Want to know what to text her, when she didn’t text you back? We’ll jump right into it now!
Some of you have been texting me, that the Clickbait Opener works really well to revive dead conversations.
I made a video about this, including 7 examples of how to use it.
I’m not even going to ask money for it, you can download it here for free.
What to say when she doesn’t text back
This will save you from your dead conversation.
And you’ll get the convo going again.
Hopefully you’ll recognize yourself in one of these weak spots.
It’s up to you to pay extra attention to these. Prevention is better than curing.
Especially concerning dead conversations.
If only there was a rule to revive ALL dead conversations, I’d certainly give it to you.
The truth is that every convo is way too different for a ‘one line to rule them all’.
However, I will give you this piece of advice:
Never send a text in the same vibe or mood as the previous text which she didn’t respond to. That’s what we mentioned at the start of this article.
What you SHOULD do after a silence, is open with something positive.
There are more than enough whining men and women already. No one is in need of another negative text, and it will certainly not be awarded with a quick text back.
Rather send a photo of a meme that puts a smile on her face, than a cleverly written text.
Who’d ever thought that a gif of a sweet puppy would work better than a blunt ‘oy’?
Oh and btw, did you notice?
This sweet lady turns off her Tinder notifications and definitely fits the busy bee label. We mentioned that kind of girls earlier.
This conversation went from her seeming uninterested as hell to her asking for my number REAL QUICK.
A great response back, so not all hope is lost, mate.
A last one?
“Sorry… I’m bad at replying”
Apologies accepted, ma’am.
Not a fan of sending GIFs?
Try my other trick:
Both examples show you coming back with something positive. Whether you’re laughing at yourself, or at the situation… at least you’re not butthurt.
Oh and another one, because I’m in such a good mood:
If you resume the conversation and want to ask her out over text…
…propose the date on a positive emotional peak.
And keep your needy side under control. As soon as she responds, you’ll be eager to ask her out again. But you can’t.
First bring up a good vibe. When she’s totally enjoying your conversation THEN you should ask her out. Your chances are 69% higher that’s she’ll take the bait.
You text to confirm the date, but she sends no response after your date proposal.
Well done bro! You managed to get a date with a lovely girl.
She agreed to your date proposal at time X on location Y.
You’ve marked the date with a giant cross in your agenda and you’re impatiently waiting for the day to arrive.
On the day of the date, you’re texting her to check if she’s still planning to show up. Just to be sure.
Here’s a nice trick to check whether she’ll show up.
About an hour before the date, text her that you’re going to be 5 minutes late.
Just to provoke an extra confirmation from her.
Now if you get no date confirmation from her, or no response text at all, chances are pretty high she won’t show up.
Bye bye lovely Tinder date.
Relax, relax, this is not the end of the world. I’m teaching you how to live a life surrounded by women. So girls canceling a date is no big deal for you.
You can let her know this by responding to her cancellation in an opposite manner than most men would when they don’t get a text back.
Most guys would complain, ask her to explain why, or they desperately want to directly set up the next date through text.
As a future TextGod, you don’t do this.
You don’t get angry or frustrated, just respond with humor and understanding.
With humor you can prevent drama and show her that it’s not a giant tragedy for you.
And don’t forget, she agreed to the date when you proposed. So assume she wants to date you anyway in the future. There’s no need to instantly propose for a new date. Maybe she’ll bring up an alternative herself.
If she doesn’t, don’t be desperate to try to find out what it means when she called it off.
Give it some rest and text her something light-hearted and unrelated to the date a few days later. Always assume attraction, rather than looking for her confirmation text.
But what if she’s canceling for the third time or more? Remember the abundance of women I mentioned earlier. You want to live like Hugh Hefner and therefore not dependent on one girl only.
Cease your attempts and let her go. Better luck next time, bro.
And just like that, your knowledge has expanded. Now you know what it means when she doesn’t text back of fun response back to your text. In the future you will avoid these mistakes, and take the right action in your messages.
Good luck turning your weaknesses into strengths, and prepare for a boatload of dates to come.
For more tips, check out these articles:
And don't forget your download below ;)