When to message your Tinder match: Master perfect timing

Maybe you’re not getting many replies and you think it’s a timing issue.

Maybe you have a special new match that you don’t want to mess up.

Or perhaps you just want to learn how to get more success on Tinder in general.

Whatever the case, you want to know when to message your Tinder match so you look like a stud rather than a desperate virgin.

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How long after matching should you message

So you’ve got a match. Awesome! You both like each other.

Now you’re faced with a problem. When do you text her? Do you wait a little to play hard to get? Sounds good in theory, you obviously don’t want to seem needy. But how long do you wait?

This is the answer:

You don’t wait at all. You text her as quickly as possible!

I’ve tested this with my coaches on hundreds of girls. So trust me, text her right away.

Why? Because you want to strike when the iron is hot.

Regardless of whether you have a match after you swiped her right, or you got a notification of a match because she swiped you right.

If she just swiped you and you have a match, she’s:

  • On her phone.
  • Excited about the match.
  • Likely to answer.

There is NO better time to send a message to your Tinder match than right after she swipes you right.

And if you’ve got a match after your like, you also better text right away.

Will you ever know if she’s on her phone? No. Do you know if she’s still excited about the match? No. But you do know that she probably was excited about seeing if you were a match when she swiped you. And the longer you wait, the more likely she’s going to forget you. Or date someone else.

Do you know if she’s likely to reply? Nope. But you can make that more likely by having a killer opener. Here are 33 of the best Tinder openers that you can steal right now.

The best time to message on Tinder

Look, I get it. Sometimes you’re just busy. Texting back fast probably feels a little difficult for you.

That’s okay. While you’d do better with your matches if you replied quickly, you don’t have to.

You can also carve out a few moments of your day and dedicate them solely to texting back your Tinder matches.

So when is the best (general) time to message your Tinder match?

The best time to message in general is when she’s most likely to be available.

When is that? After working hours and when she’s probably done with her household chores.

So the best time to message your Tinder match is between 8 to 10 PM.

That busy time slot is also confirmed by research from Nielsen. As can be seen in the graph below:

So if you could only use Tinder one time a day, chat between 8 to 10 PM.

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When to text back if she replied to your opener

Now things get a little more tricky. We’ve reached the point where most guys get themselves into all sorts of trouble.

“Her text was a little short, I think it’s best to make her wait for my answer so that she knows she has to work a little harder.”

So he texts back half a day later.

Unfortunately, this has the opposite effect.

Here’s something I want you to hammer into your brain:

Hardly any woman will see your 12-hour-late text as a sign to try harder to win you over.

Why? Because she has little to no reason to feel attracted to you. Only your photos and a couple of texts. See how being very slow to reply (in the early stages) could actually motivate her to give up on you?

Don’t be a purposely slow texter. Instead, your strategy in the early stages should be this:

Try to text as soon as she sends you something.

Because then she’s holding her phone and it’s much more likely she’ll reply! (Remember, she’s on Tinder to meet people, not to ghost them.)

With some luck, she texts back and you can have a 5+ minute chat over text.

Holy Tip:

Although it’s often good to text back quickly, you don’t want to be the guy that ALWAYS texts back in the blink of an eye. That’ll make you seem lonely and/or desperate.

Did she text you between 6 and 8 PM? Chill out, that’s dinner time. Focus on getting your grub on.

Did she text you at 2 PM? No stress, those are office hours. Take your time and answer later.

Point is, don’t be too available at times when culture dictates you shouldn’t be.

By occasionally making her wait for an answer, she gets the idea that you have a life and that you’re not desperate for Tinder dates.

By showing you’re different from the herd, you’ll become more attractive to her.

Does that sound daunting because you don’t know what to say?

No worries. Here’s 103 things to talk about on Tinder or Whatsapp.

How quickly should you respond to her messages in general?

This advice doesn’t just apply to women from Tinder, but EVERY girl that you’re interested in dating.

Unlike what we discussed earlier, this is a little more difficult because it depends on a lot of different factors.

  • How long have you been texting?
  • Have you already gone on a date?
  • Do you know her from real life?
  • How quickly and how often does she text?

These are just some of the factors you need to constantly juggle inside your head.

The general principle I want you to remember is this:

Make sure you don’t invest more than her.

Don’t send more and longer messages than her. And don’t be the one that always responds quick while she always leaves you waiting.

The one who invests more looks more needy and becomes less attractive. So, keep a healthy balance.

I wrote a whole article about it. Read that and you’ll know all you need to about how quickly you should respond when texting.

Also, you don’t want to text too much. Because if you do, you’ll scare her off. Watch my 3-minute video and find out if you’re an overtexter:

When do you text after the first date?

Too many 90s sitcoms joked that you have to wait up to three days after the first date to show that you aren’t desperate.

Although that was over 30 years ago, many people (including some dating coaches) say that you should wait.

And that’s horrible advice. Here’s the biggest reason why:

Emotions fade quickly.

Even if you made her feel like the most special woman on earth, she’ll forget all about it 72 hours later.

And her feelings will have already shrunk by 50% the morning after the date.

So send her a text within 12 hours after coming home from your first date!

Even if it’s a simple one like this:

Tonight was fun. Still laughing about your facemask hamster-hammock joke. Anyway, have a great Sunday

How to stop worrying about the timing of your Tinder messages

This is one of the things that’s keeping you from having amazing relationships with women: Overthinking.

I get it. You’re worried about someone else’s opinion and so you want to get your text right.

But that feeling honestly makes no sense. Right now your Tinder match is just a smile, some eyelashes, and a crop top.

That’s it. Nothing more. You don’t know this person. Why place so much importance on what she thinks of you? Perhaps she’s just so beautiful that you must have her.

Fair enough. But don’t you think that’s a bit of a low bar? What if she’s cold, selfish, dull and has a criminal record for setting her ex-boyfriend’s car on fire?

Good looks should just be one of dozens of qualities you’re looking for in a woman. Now her score is 1 out of 20 and it may end there.

Texting your Tinder match is not about selling yourself to her, but discovering if she’s good enough for you to take out on a date.

If this is not already your standard way of thinking, it may take a while to develop.

So here’s a quick fix that’ll make you stop worrying about every text you send:

Get more matches.

The more women you have to choose from, the less one woman will matter.

Below are some links to articles that will most likely triple your matches:

And to top it off, I’ll give you my Tinder Profile Checklist so you’ll know exactly what the weaknesses of your profile are and how to fix them.

All you have to do to get my Tinder Profile Checklist is click here.

When to message your Tinder match – Summary

  • If her like activated the match, message RIGHT away.
  • If your like activated the match, send her a text ASAP.
  • If she replied to your text, answer back whenever you can (just don’t get TOO predictable in your timing).

Why do you want to keep the messages flowing? Because emotions fade quickly and she has lots of other Tinder matches asking for her attention.

Your goal is to get her hooked on your texts in the smallest amount of time.

Once she’s into you, you can dial back your availability a little. But even then you don’t want to make her wait half a week for your reaction.

Now you know when to message your Tinder match, I want to give you the best icebreaker there is.

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