When to Message on Tinder after Matching (Don’t Scare Her Off)

Maybe you’re not getting many replies and you think it’s a timing issue.

Maybe you have a special new match that you don’t want to mess up.

Or perhaps you just want to learn how to get more success on Tinder in general.

Whatever the case, you want to know when to message your Tinder match so you look like a stud rather than a desperate virgin.

In this article:More...

Important: Quickly letting you know I found the best opener EVER. Its psychologically irresistible to ignore. I made a video explaining how to use it and it's 'clickbait-principle' with screenshot examples. Check it out here.

When to text a new Tinder match

You’re chilling on the couch and looking at pretty girls from your Tinder stack. A special one catches your eye and you swipe right.

Nothing happens. But five minutes later…


She swiped you too.

Now you’re faced with a problem… When do you text her? Do you wait a little to play hard to get? Sounds good in theory, you obviously don’t want to seem needy. But how long do you wait?

An hour? A day? A fortnite?

Solid guesses, but they’re all…


You don’t wait at all. You text her as quickly as possible!

Why? Because you want to strike when the iron is hot.

She just swiped you, so she’s:

  • On her phone.
  • Excited about the match.
  • Likely to answer.

There is NO better time to send a message to your Tinder match than right after she swipes you right.

But what if…

You match at the moment that you swipe her right

What if you’re the one that sets off the match?

Now you’re not sure if she’s even on her phone, let alone if she’s excited about the match. Maybe she swiped you right 3 days ago.

Is this the right time to message your new Tinder match?

Before I spoon-feed you the answer, what do you think?

I’m confident you have a good head on your shoulders. So let’s work towards the answer together.

Will you ever know if she’s on her phone? Not unless you hired the guy from Taken to follow her.

Do you know if she’s still excited about the match? No. But you do know that she probably was excited about seeing if you were a match when she swiped you.

Do you know if she’s likely to reply? Nope. But you can make that more likely by having a killer opener. Here are 33 of the best Tinder openers that you can steal right now.

So when is the best time to message her if you triggered the Tinder match? (So when YOU were the last one to like.)

As quickly as possible.

The longer you wait, the more likely she’s going to forget you. Or date someone else.

Easy stuff!

So let’s sink our teeth into something more difficult…

When to text if she replied to your text

Now things get a little dicier.

We reached the point where most guys get themselves into all sorts of trouble.

“Her text was a little short, I think it’s best to make her wait for my answer so that she knows she has to work a little harder.”

So he texts back half a day later.

Kind of sensible.


It’s not!

Here’s something I want you to hammer into your brain:

Hardly any woman will see your 12-hour-late text as a sign to try harder to win you over.

I mean, she might. But not if you matched yesterday and you’ve only exchanged a handful of texts.


Because she has little to no reason to feel attracted to you. Only your photos and a couple of texts. See how being very slow to reply (in the early stages) could actually motivate her to give up on you?

Don’t be a purposely slow texter.

Instead, your strategy in the early stages should be to try and text as soon as she sends you something.

Because then she’s holding her phone and it’s much more likely she’ll reply! (Remember, she’s on Tinder to meet people, not to ghost them.)

With some luck, she texts back and you can have a 5+ minute chat over text.

Holy Tip:

Although it’s often good to text back quickly.

You don’t want to be the guy that ALWAYS texts back in the blink of an eye. That’ll make you seem lonely and/or desperate.

Did she text you between 6 and 8 PM?

Chill out, that’s dinner time. Focus on getting your grub on.

Did she text you at 2 PM? No stress, those are office hours. Take your time and answer later.

Point is, don’t be too available at times where culture dictates you shouldn’t be.

By occasionally making her wait for an answer, she gets the idea that you have a life and that you’re not desperate for Tinder dates. (Like most guys.)

By showing you’re different from the herd, you’ll become more attractive to her.

Does that sound daunting because you don’t know what to say?

No worries. Here’s 103 things to talk about on Tinder or Whatsapp.

Don’t have the time to always check your phone and instantly reply to your Tinder match?

I’ve got just what you’re looking for in the next tip.

The best time to message your Tinder match in general

Look, I get it.

You’re a busy man.

You got bills to pay, laundry to do, groceries to buy, my Youtube channel to subscribe to

Texting back fast probably feels a little difficult for you.

That’s okay. While you’d do better with your matches if you replied quickly, you don’t have to.

You can also carve out a few moments of your day and dedicate them solely to texting back your Tinder matches.

So when is the best (general) time to message your Tinder match?

If you’ve been paying attention, you probably already know.

The best time to message your Tinder match in general is when she’s most likely to be available.

When is that?

After work hours and when she’s probably done with her household chores.

So… between 8 to 10 PM.

That busy time slot is also confirmed by research from Nielsen. As can be seen in the graph below:

So if you could only use Tinder one time a day, that’s the time I’d recommend you chat between 8 to 10 PM.

But be careful.

You don’t want to text too much. Because if you do, you’ll scare her off.

Watch my 3-minute video and find out if you’re an overtexter:

How quickly should you respond to her messages in general?

To guarantee you don’t get this wrong and scare off your Tinder match, I’m going to answer this question:

How quickly should you respond to a girl from Tinder?

Important: The upcoming advice doesn’t just apply to women from Tinder, but EVERY girl that you’re interested in dating.

Unlike what we discussed earlier, this is a little more difficult because it depends on a lot of different factors.

  • How long have you been texting?
  • Have you already gone on a date?
  • Do you know her from real life?
  • How quickly and often does she text?

These are just some of the factors you need to constantly juggle inside your head.

Sounds tough, right? It kinda is.

That’s why I wrote a whole article about it. Read that and you’ll know all you need to about how quickly you should respond when texting.

When do you text after the first date ends?

This little devil of a question is what started many, MANY texting problems.

Because one too many 90s sitcoms (I forget which one started it) joked that you have to wait up to three days after the first date to show that you aren’t desperate.

Although that was over 30 years ago, many people (including some dating coaches) say that you should wait. Some even say you shouldn’t text until she does.

Garbage advice.

And here’s the biggest reason why:

Emotions fade quickly.

Even if you made her feel like the most special woman on earth, she’ll forget all about it 72 hours later.

And her feelings will have already shrunk by 50% the morning after the date.

So send her a text and send it quickly! Even if it’s a simple one like this:

Tonight was fun. Still laughing about your facemask hamster-hammock joke. Anyway, have a great Sunday

When should you send it exactly?

Within 12 hours of the date.

Now for the most important things to remember if you want to see her (again).

How to stop worrying about the timing of your Tinder messages

This is one of the things that’s keeping you from having amazing relationships with women.


I get it. You’re worried about someone else’s opinion and so you want to get your text right.

But that feeling honestly makes no sense.

Right now your Tinder match is just a smile, some eyelashes and a crop top.

That’s it. Nothing more. You don’t know this person.

Why place so much importance on what she thinks of you? Perhaps she’s just so beautiful that you must have her.

Fair enough.

But don’t you think that’s a bit of a low bar?

What if she’s cold, selfish, dull and has a criminal record for setting her ex-boyfriend’s car on fire?

Good looks should just be one of dozens of qualities you’re looking for in a woman.

Now her score is 1 out of 20 and it may end there.

Texting your Tinder match is not about selling yourself to her, but discovering if she’s good enough for you to take out on a date.

If this is not already your standard way of thinking, it may take a while to develop.

So here’s a quick fix that’ll end make you stop worrying about every text you send:

Get more matches.

The more women you have to choose from, the less one woman will matter.

Below are some links to articles that will most likely triple your matches:

And to top it off, I’ll give you my Tinder Profile Checklist so you’ll know exactly what the weaknesses of your profile are and how to fix them.

All you have to do to get my Tinder Profile Checklist is click here.

When to message your Tinder match – Summary

  • If her like activated the match, message RIGHT away.
  • If your like activated the match, send her a text ASAP.
  • If she replied to your text, answer back whenever you can (just don’t get TOO predictable in your timing).

Why do you want to keep the messages flowing? Because emotions fade quickly and she has lots of other Tinder matches asking for her attention.

Your goal is to get her hooked on your texts in the smallest amount of time.

Once she’s into you, you can dial back your availability a little. But even then you don’t want to make her wait half a week for your reaction.

Now you know when to message your Tinder match, I want to give you the best icebreaker there is.

In fact, my opener is so good at breaking the ice that it actually ended the last ice age. Grab it by clicking the big button below.


Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

Get my best stuff for FREE!

The Clickbait Opener

Get the highest response rate of my 40 best openers

10 Texts That Always Work

Stop worrying about what to say. Steal my lines instead!

The Dating Profile Checklist

Fill in the blanks, improve your profile, get more matches

The Personality Slicing Seminar Recordings

My secret method to get any girl craving your attention

Yes, give me your stuff!

For more tips, check out these related articles:


Write a comment

Welkom! Deze website maakt gebruik van cookies

De noodzakelijke en statistiek-cookies verzamelen geen persoonsgegevens en helpen ons de site te verbeteren. Daarnaast gebruiken we andere cookies voor promotie en het testen van nieuwe functionaliteiten. Hieronder kan je aangeven of je dat goed vindt (meer info: Privacy Policy)