30+ Clever Tinder Pick Up Lines That Always Impress

If you want to score dates by being the most clever, smart, intelligent, and witty guy in her inbox…

…then you came to the right place!

Because you are about to be blessed with a whole bunch of clever Tinder pickup lines

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

How to create your own clever Tinder pick-up lines

A huge reason why I have success with women is undoubtedly my sense of humor.

And it’s something that I slowly developed over the years after I decided to stop being a WoW-playing virgin. #truestory

In other words, humor and wit are skills you can get better at.

Watch my next video and I’ll tell you exactly how. Plus, I’ll give you some clever lines you can steal and use right now.

30+ clever Tinder pickup lines

These are the best clever and witty Tinder pickup lines that you can find on the internet.


Click on any other site in your Google search results and I’ll guarantee that the pickup lines you’ll find are generic and dull.

The next lines, however, are unique and fun.

And ALMOST guarantee success. Just try them out for yourself.

  • Are you a microwaved pizza roll? Because you’re hot and I’m afraid to touch you.
  • I think this means we’re married. So pay the utility bill already, will ya?
  • I have to give you a fair warning. Animals love me and I take no responsibility if your doggo chooses to live with me.
  • I don’t want to intimidate you. But I took the gold in the 2016 spooning olympics.
  • You’re so close! I just screamed my mating call out the window, did you hear me?
  • Did you know that if you sit on a man’s face, you legally own him? Squatters rights and stuff.
  • Seeing the long melted cheese tendrils of your pizza slice is one of the most erotic things I’ve ever seen on Tinder.
  • I see you’re into recycling. Me too.  I turned my self-hatred into confidence #sustainability
  • That car in your profile is pretty fast. But have you ever seen my 5-year-old cousin who’s been asked what’s in their mouth?
  • Not to brag but I made a delicious omelet this morning. I seasoned the eggs with sugar, butter and flour. I think it’s called Cake.
  • Since you asked, here’s my most controversial opinion: nobody shot JFK, his head just did that.
  • Political science major? I like politics too. I read like 3 memes, so I’m pretty much an expert now.
  • From one bookworm to another, don’t you just hate that you can’t stack e-books on your shelf like a bunch of trophies?
  • Did you know that the human eye can see up to 3 miles away? Well, I can see the sun 3 million miles away.
  • Can’t believe you didn’t finish your wine, Jenny. There are sober children in Africa, you know.
  • A fellow blood donator! I’ve stopped giving actually, because they always ask me where I got it from.
  • Good job on recovering from your burnout. I did a little self-diagnosing on Web MD just now and it turns out I’ve been dead for 6 years.
  • So cool to see that you made a living out of what you did best. I tried the same but there’s no real market for playing with yourself so I became a [your job].
  • Since you asked how I liked my coffee, I want it to show up on a drug test.
  • Girllll, let’s play doctor. I’ll go first. you owe me $3600.
  • Oooh I see you’re into dads. Kinky. Now keep your hands off the thermostat!
  • What’s your biggest pet peeve? I’ll go first: Hot Pockets come out of the box cold. What a joke.
  • Before you say hi, know that I’m a pretty big deal. I once posted a meme that got 22 likes.
  • What’s your wildest fantasy? Mine is quitting my job without having anything else lined up.
  • An American! You know what my favorite thing is about your country? If you put mayonnaise on potatoes it becomes a salad.
  • Awesome to see that you’re making a living taking photos! The first time I made money as a photographer was when I sold my camera.
  • Not sure how much I like you riding horses. Did you know that because of people like you horses get farted on more than any other animal?
  • Being an electrician, could you do me a favor? Please change the name of your profession to ‘power ranger’.

Holy Tip:

Did you like the above pickup lines?

They didn’t even include my best work.

Those, I only share with my most loyal fans.

If that’s you, click on the link to get my most successful lines in your inbox right now.

Tips to create your own clevery and witty Tinder lines

1. Make it personal

The most important element of a good pickup line.

Make it personal.

Let’s say you’re swiping on Tinder and you come across this profile:

If we want to come up with something unique and personal, we need to check out her profile for something that stands out to you.

Maybe the cherry blossom tree, her height, her Spotify anthem, the fact that she’s the only one wearing black shoes.

Or maybe you’re a bit like me, and you were grinning behind your phone when you read her funny Tinder bio about fedoras.

Say no more.

As someone who finds nice guy and neckbeard memes hilarious, this bio was all I needed.

So this is how I started the Tinder conversation:

Not only is this text personalized, it’s also incredibly playful.

M’lady replied:

And people said I’ll never meet the man of my dreams


Not only did she respond, she’s joking back. A lovely start of the conversation.

Sticking with the joke, I thought of this meme when writing my reply:

And sent her this:

Let me guess. It were those assholes that spend their days chasing vanity in the gym?

Full disclosure, she didn’t reply.

And that’s fine.

No matter how good your text is, she’s never obligated to send you something back.

But more importantly, it’s hard to get upset over her not replying when you’re laughing your ass off at your own texts.

So always try to enjoy yourself (without being an a-hole).

2. Play around with words

The first way to come across as a word wizard is by using clever wordplay.

Let’s pretend you’re swiping and you see this profile:

Break the ice without copy-pasting one of my brainy openers.

Freestyle, go!

I went for this one:

The mere mortal wishes she had heavenly textgame too, but alas.

She too can learn the ways of the Lord, by scrolling all the way to the bottom of the article and downloading my free texting goodies.

3. Share knowledge

Do you know what I like a lot more than materialistic things?


And do you know what I like a lot more than knowledge?

Sharing knowledge with cute girls to get them excited to go on a date with me.

What am I talking about?

Do you need to study 69 books per year and correct people whenever they aren’t 100% accurate?

Phuck no.

But you could share some facts, in a funny way.

Just like in this example by one of my best friends:


But a clever comeback nonetheless.

(My friend did not make this up by the way, this is the true story of Sleeping Beauty)

4. Turn the tables

Use this tip to become the King of comebacks. You can even use this to become unbullyable in real life.

The concept is simple:

Whenever someone tries to tease you, you find a way to turn their insult into a compliment.

It’s kind of like what kids do in primary school:

You’re ugly!

And then the little guy goes:

I know you are, but what am I?


…we’re not kids anymore. Or at least we’re not in primary school anymore.

So let’s upgrade that concept.

Here’s what a cutie sent me on Instagram:

It’s a photo of two buildings. She’s the expensive looking one on the left. And I’m the shitty building on the right.

While she’s thinking she’s got me good, I send her this:

A generic new wave characterless building vs a unique, finely aged building with a thousand stories to tell

gg ez.

5. Don’t take yourself seriously

It’s much, much, MUCH easier to be witty when you don’t take yourself seriously.

Because if you consider yourself a serious person, you care too much about things like respect and looking cool.

And all that caring uses up a lot of brain juice.

Brain juice that could be used for thinking of witty and fun things to say.

Ever realized how care-free people are almost always funny? Or at the VERY least, playful?

That’s because they don’t need to spend their energy on maintaining their reputation or being awesome.

They’re too focused on having a good time.

The wittiest pickup lines for your Tinder date

Back in the good ol’ days when I was still going out daily…

…my best friend and I were always looking for new ways to have a good time.

That “always enjoying ourselves” mentality has never left us.

And one day, my friend hits me up:

“You won’t believe what I just threw together at work…”

The silly guy made a friggin’ Sexual Consent Form. And it’s filled with the wittiest and silly lines.

He printed it out and took it with him on Tinder dates.

And guess what?

Girls absolutely loved it.

The form isn’t to be taken seriously at all.

The grammar and spelling in Part 2: Sexual activities, looks like it’s written by a 12-year-old.

With options to give consent ranging from kissing and biting (gently), to absolutely absurd things like Schlorp butthole, or Lick n touch nipples.

It’s not for every date, but women who are into absurd jokes, memes, or anything weird… always cracked up at the form.

And today I’m spreading the fun by sharing it with you as well.

Do with it what you will, it’s yours now.

You can download the Sexual Consent Form right here: TextGod Sexual Consent Form.

WARNING: This is not an official form of any sort. It’s merely a made-up joke by a good ol’ friend.

Become her favorite Tinder match

Becoming her favorite person to talk to on Tinder is easy.

Just be me.

And if that’s not possible, you can always settle for the next best thing:

Download my texting goodies and send your Tinder matches the same stuff I do.

Just click the big gold button below and get more Tinder success than ever before.


Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

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