Best Tips On How To Respond To Ghosting – Advice From A Texting Expert

You had days of fun chatting online. Perhaps you’ve even had a great date or two. But suddenly the worst happens. You get ghosted. And you have NO idea why.

That’s why I’m giving you the best tips on how to respond to ghosting. Whether you’re looking for clarity, a reply, or a way to move on, you’ll find it in this article.

In this article:

• What is ghosting & why did she ghost me?
• How to respond to ghosting? Key takeaways
• What are the best texts to send to someone who’s ghosting you?
• What are the best ways to deal with someone ghosting you? What to say / how to move on
• How long should you wait to text your ghost?
• How to prevent someone from ghosting you

More...

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

What is ghosting & why did she ghost me?

Ghosting is when someone you’ve been texting or dating vanishes without warning, like a ghost. Even when you reach out, you’re met with nothing but silence.

These are some common reasons why someone ghosts you:

• She forgot to reply.
• She’s busy with something else.
• She lost interest after you showed unattractive behavior.
• She’s met someone else.

How to respond to ghosting? Key takeaways

1. Give them enough time to reply. It’s possible they’re meaning to get back to you, but they’re just focused on sorting out more urgent things at the moment.
2. Consider checking in. If you barely know each other, there’s nothing on the line, so you might as well reach out after waiting a few days. Have you been on one or more dates? Then it could be better to see their non-response as a sign they’re not good for you.
3. Move on. It’s natural to want an explanation and closure, but you need to realize that it’s unlikely you’ll get a clear answer. Rather than wonder if you did anything wrong, shift the focus to them, “If this is how they’re choosing to treat me now, how bad would they be for me if I got in a relationship with them?”

What are the best texts to send to someone who’s ghosting you?

What you send depends on the stage of the dating phase you’re in. Are you still in the introductory phase, or are you dating and involved in each other’s lives?

Skip to the stage that applies to your situation.

You just met

Are you just getting to know each other? Don’t be too serious about being ghosted (they shouldn’t be that important to you yet), and send something chill and playful.

• I will not be ignored! 😾
• So cute how hard you’re trying to come up with a fun answer.
• My heart is breaking hardcore right now, send help.

You’re dating

Once you’re no longer strangers and active participants in each other’s lives, you’re entitled to better treatment and can take their cold behavior more seriously.

• “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. You good?”
• “Hi, I get the feeling you’re pulling back a little. No problem if you’re not feeling us anymore, but I’d appreciate some clarity so I can move on.”
• “Hi. I thought things were cool between us, but you’re kinda gone. I hope it’s nothing serious. No pressure to reply, but I’ll take that as a sign we’re done.”

If you’re looking for  more lines to send, check out this article:

• 47 Best ghosting responses

What are the best ways to deal with someone ghosting you? What to say / how to move on

1. Relax and stop assuming the worst

Whether you’ve been ghosted after a few dates or after exchanging a few texts, it’s never a nice feeling.You probably feel confused and angry. And most of all, you want to know what you did wrong. Which often leads to the biggest mistake imaginable:

Sending a desperate and needy text.

Although you’re entitled to an explanation, begging for an answer will get you nowhere. In fact, it’ll probably make them feel better about ghosting you.

Not great.

So what do you do if you want to have a shot at talking with them again? Relax. Unless they tell you what’s going on, you have NO idea. So don’t assume anything. People are busy.

And when life’s responsibilities are crashing down on you, people go into survival mode and forget everything else. So give them time to respond and don’t assume anything negative.

2. Know where they’re at emotionally

You can safely assume they got your text. But that doesn’t mean they’ve read it, even when you see all the checkmarks and read notifications.

So if you send them a text without knowing where they’re at emotionally, it may be the last text you ever send them again. Because if you say the wrong thing, they might block you.

The opposite is also true. If you know precisely what they’re going through, and send the text they crave, you’ll gain 10 sexy levels.

So first seek to understand.

Why are they ignoring you? There are at least a dozen potential reasons why they’re ghosting you (and most of them have nothing to do with you). See my next article for more.

• 10 Reasons why she ghosted you

3. Focus on what you can control

The next insight may suck, but it’s the truth.

You may never know exactly why they ghosted you or what happened.

Beyond a certain point, playing Sherlock Holmes is nothing but a waste of energy and time. So what is a good use of your energy? The part of the ghosting puzzle that you can control.

As Stephen R. Covey long ago pointed out, the most successful people only focus on concerns that lie within their Circle of Influence.

A fancy word for, ‘things they can do something about.’ Although Mr. Covey is usually cited in circles of professional development, his teachings can also be applied to dating.

Instead of looking at your crush for answers, you can look at yourself. Seriously.

Go stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and ask “Is there anything I could have done better?”

Were you maybe:

• Too boring?
• Too friendly?
• Showing too much interest too quickly?

Said differently, “Were you a fun and cool person they’re probably excited to meet?”

If not, you probably contributed to them ghosting you. And if you don’t change your behavior, you’ll have the same effect on other people.

I’m not saying it’s all your fault. The point is, you need to ask yourself what you could have done better, even if the ghosting had nothing to do with you.

Not to get better results with that specific ghost person, but to get better results with potential lovers in general.

If you never ask yourself what you could have done differently, you’re missing opportunities to grow.

And if you don’t grow, you may not be ready to attract your dream person.

4. Stop obsessing about them

You sent them a text and are waiting for their reply. One hour goes by. Two hours. three hours. And nothing.

You continue with your day, but in the back of your mind, you’re still anxiously waiting for their notification to pop up on your phone.

We’ve all been there.

Do you know what’s especially messed up about waiting for their text? It won’t give you the peace you want.

Sure, their  text will scare off the anxiety. But only for a moment. With enough time, the anxiety will come running back to you. And you’ll be clutching your phone while thinking, “Have theye read my text? Do they still like me?”

So how do you effectively battle your text anxiety?

Distraction sure as heck doesn’t work. You could be at a BBQ with your best friends and still be constantly checking your phone for new messages. So you need something deeper.

You want to do something that’s meaningful for you RIGHT NOW.

Perhaps reading a book. Sharpening a skill. Learning a new marketable trade. Going to the gym.

It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s moving you closer to who you want to be and where you want to go. If you pick the right activity, you can go from being depressed about someone not reaching out to you, to feeling really proud of yourself within 1 hour.

Which also gives you the best mood for when they eventually get back to you.

5. Send a voice message

Every day, I receive emails about men’s biggest date frustrations. And while they’re almost all worded differently, the frustration often boils down to:

“I just want her to put in the same level of effort as me!”

A perfectly reasonable request. If you’re a guy.

Because after we guys see a girl’s (dating) photos and have a brief back and forth over chat, we feel pretty good about meeting up.

Women, however, often work differently. Even if she matches you on a dating app, that does not mean she’s very invested.

Sure, you may be her type physically. But she also needs to know that you’re fun and safe to be around. How do you do that? My favorite is… Voice messages.

If you use your voice well, you’ll move out of the “Just another guy”-category to the “He just gets me”-category. Even though you’re saying the same stuff as you did over text.

Sending a voice message is also a great idea if she ghosts you.

Make sure you sound casual and fun. And pretend she never ghosted you. Just tell her something fun that will for sure make her smile.

6. Be warm but firm

Most people do one of two things when they get ghosted. Both equally bad.

• They stay super happy and cheery while they pull away and grow distant.
• They get butthurt and respond angrily.

Neither reaction is attractive. What is attractive?

When you show that they has to put in effort to keep you around. Now they feel that they have to earn your love. And that’s love worth keeping.

What does that look like in practice? Suppose they replied 5 days after your last text and go:

Notice the thing? The guy in our example is being warm, but he’s not continuing the conversation.

He’s subtly saying, “It’s nice that you replied. But I need more from you if you want my attention. Have a good one.”

7. Don’t send another boring message

You may be scaring them away with your attempts to gain their attention.

Or.

I hate to break it to you, but those texts don’t do anything for you. Think about it. What are they likely to say in the best-case scenario?

Or:

If they’re pulling away, you need to send texts with a little more oomph.

So stay away from:

• Trivial facts about your life that put them to sleep.
• Common questions with predictable answers.
• A compliment to remind them how much you like them.
• Butt hurt cries for attention.
• An explanation for why they’re being so sketchy.
• A date proposal because you’re afraid to lose them.

8. Meet them where they are

If you’re like most of my clients, you’ve come to me TOO late.

You probably don’t want to know what to do if they ghost you, but what you should do if they ghost you after sending something stupid.

It’s almost like being a diplomat who’s been asked to restore peace between two nations when one of them has already launched an atomic bomb. Sure, I may be able to help. But it’s no guarantee I can straighten things out.

Let me give you a fictional example of a once-friendly text conversation that turned into a warzone.

But first, some context. They’re super cute and have already flaked on you twice. They then apologized and agreed to a new date.

This date is 30 minutes from now, and they text you this:

To which you replied:

Do you see where things went nuclear?

When you told her you were available on Friday and Saturday. For a moment, forget about how hot they are and think about what they just did.

Although they flaked on you twice already, they can’t even give you clarity on if they want to meet you Friday or Saturday. Probably because they’re still figuring out if they have anything better to do!

That’s seriously ugly behavior. And you’re allowing it.

In dating, you always want to meet someone where they’re at.

If they take 1 step forward, you take 1 step forward. But what you never do is take an extra step forward.

When the person from the example asked if you had time to meet up, that was not a cue to hand over your schedule. Especially not the two most valuable social days of the week: Friday and Saturday.

Why? Because when they read your reply, they knew they didn’t need to put in any work to see you. So how would you fix this situation? By pulling back a little:

The ‘def’ and smiley let her know that you’re positive and up for seeing them. But more importantly, that text shows them you can say no and will force her to put in more effort.

9. Give them a call

One of the quickest ways to remind her of how cool you are is… a phone call. Sadly, culture has forced many of us into thinking speaking over the phone is weird.

Despite that weirdness, there are 3 simple ways to get them on the phone with you.

• Use windows of opportunity. If they asks you a question that’s too difficult to answer over text, arrange for a phone call.
• Put texting in a bad light. If you’ve been texting without any real action, let them know. “Anymore texts and we’ll become pen pals. Let’s do a call.”
• Be spontaneous. Just call them out of the blue.

Once you’ve talked on the phone, she’ll probably feel that calling you is pretty normal and fun.

How long should you wait to text your ghost?

One of the most controversial dating topics, how long should you wait before reaching out again?

It depends. On what? Mainly on how you met and her texting pattern.

Depending on the circumstances, you may want to wait anywhere from 24 hours to a week.

To know exactly how long you should wait, check out my article on when she didn’t text back.

It breaks down all the different circumstances and tells you precisely how long you need to wait before sending her another text.

How to prevent someone from ghosting you

The two most common texting mistakes that lead to being ghosted are… Being TOO HOT or TOO COLD.

What does that mean?

Let’s start with being too hot. If you’re too hot, you’re focused on:

• Being sexual.
• Being overly interested.
• Being too available.

Even if they’re attracted to you physically, your excited puppy vibes will likely push them away. Not because they don’t want to jump into bed with you. But because they didn’t have to work for your affection. This makes you feel cheap. And if it feels cheap, it’s disposable.

What does too cold look like? You can probably guess it:

• Being short and uninterested.
• Being unresponsive.
• Being closed off.

Most people who go down the ‘cold’ route have been turned down too many times after being too interested. And so they try to act cool. But what they really look like is impolite and insensitive a-holes.

What’s the solution to being too hot or cold?

Being warm.

What does that look like?

If we keep it strictly to dating apps:

• Smiling on your photos (at least on 1 or 2 pics).
• Having photos of you with friends.
• Genuine curiosity over text (stop asking about topics you don’t want to know the answer to).
• Sincere compliments (no fakery, and preferably on something that’s about their personality).
• Honesty (if they said something you really don’t like, tell them).

Why should you be warm?

Because it requires you to be:

• Courageous.
• Optimistic.
• Kind.

And what do these traits do for them? Make you stand out from all the other hot people. And more importantly, they make you attractive, so that they’ll like you too much to ghost you.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

And don't forget your download below ;)

Get my best stuff for FREE!

The Clickbait Opener

Get the highest response rate of my 40 best openers

10 Texts That Always Work

Stop worrying about what to say. Steal my lines instead!

The Dating Profile Checklist

Fill in the blanks, improve your profile, get more matches

The Personality Slicing Seminar Recordings

My secret method to get any girl craving your attention

Yes, give me your stuff!