You had weeks of fun chatting online.
Perhaps you’ve even had a great date or two.
But suddenly the worst happens.
You get ghosted.
And you have NO idea why.
That’s why I’m giving you 10 tips on how to respond to ghosting.
- 10+ Possible reasons for why he or she ghosted you
- How to know if you still have a shot with her
- The most effective way to get rid of anxiety about your ghost
- What to text when you’re being ghosted
- How to never get ghosted again
- The easiest way to become unghostable (without sacrificing your dating life)
Definition of ghosting
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is when someone you’ve been texting or dating vanishes without warning. Like a ghost.
#1: What you must NOT do after being ghosted
Whether you’ve been ghosted after a few dates, or after dating someone for months, it always sucks.
You probably feel confused and angry.
And most of all, you want to know what you did wrong.
Which often leads to the biggest mistake imaginable.
Where you either beg for an explanation or send needy “???.”
Although you’re entitled to an explanation, begging for her motive will also get you nowhere.
In fact, it’ll probably make her feel better about ghosting you.
And make her lose the last shred of attraction she feels for you.
So what do you do if you want to have a shot at talking with her again?
Take a chill pill.
Unless she tells you what’s going on, you have NO idea. So don’t assume anything.
People are busy.
And when life’s responsibilities are crashing down on you, people go into survival mode and forget everything else.
So give her time to respond and don’t assume anything.
#2: Why she ghosted you
Don’t send anything before you read this tip.
The internet reaches almost anywhere on earth, so you can safely assume she got your text.
But that doesn’t mean she’s read it. Even when you see all the checkmarks and read notifications.
So if you send her a text without knowing where she’s at emotionally, it may be the last text you ever send her again.
Because if you say the wrong thing, she might block you.
The opposite is also true.
If you know precisely what she’s going through, and send the text she craves, you’ll gain 10 sexy levels.
So first seek to understand.
Why is she ignoring you?
There’s at least a dozen potential reasons why she’s ghosting you.
And I’ve already written an article about it. So if you want closure, hit the link.
But before you do, don’t go crazy trying to psychoanalyze why she left you on read.
And talking about it with all your friends.
Because ghosting is something you’ll not only often face in dating, but also in life.
Things in life are constantly disappearing. Whether it’s buildings in your neighborhood, job opportunities, or your favorite snack from the supermarket
Knowing why these things disappear can help you tie up all the loose ends in your head.
But it’s ultimately totally out of your control.
That’s why it’s important to focus on what is IN your control.
#3: What you should focus on after being ghosted
The next insight may suck, but it’s the truth.
You may never know exactly why she ghosted you or what happened.
Beyond a certain point, playing Sherlock Holmes is nothing but a waste of energy and time.
So what is a good use of your energy?
The part of the ghosting puzzle that you can control.
As Stephen R. Covey long ago pointed out, the most successful people only focus on concerns that lie within their Circle of Influence.
A fancy word for, ‘things they can do something about’.
Although mister Covey is usually cited in circles of professional development.
His teachings can also be applied to dating.
Instead of looking at the girl for answers, you can look at yourself.
Go stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and ask “Is there anything I could have done better?”
Were you maybe:
- Too boring
- Too friendly
- Showing too much interest too quickly
Said differently, “Were you good company?”
If not, you probably contributed to her ghosting you.
And if you don’t change your behavior, you’ll have the same effect on other women.
I’m not saying it’s all your fault. Point is, you need to ask yourself what you could have done better, even if the ghosting had nothing to do with you.
Not to get better results with that specific ghost girl, but to get better results with women in general.
If you never ask yourself what you could have done differently, you’re missing opportunities to grow.
And if you don’t grow, you may not be ready to attract your dream girl.
If you do ever text with your dream girl, it helps to be prepared.
Because at one point she’ll throw you a curveball that’ll have you staring at your phone, not knowing what to say.
Instead of agonizing over the perfect text, you can also steal the perfect text.
From me and my 10 Texts That Always Work.
– Whether you don’t know what to say
– If you’re looking for a fun answer to a boring question
– How to tease her
– Or how to ask her out in a non-awkward way
The 10 Texts will give you exactly what you need.
#4: How to deal with texting anxiety
You sent her a text and are waiting for her reply.
One hour goes by.
Two hours.. three hours.
You continue with your day, but in the back of your mind you’re still anxiously waiting for her notification to pop up on your phone.
We’ve all been there, buddy.
Do you know what’s especially messed up about waiting for her text?
It won’t give you the peace you want.
Sure, her text will scare off the anxiety. But only for a moment.
With enough time, the anxiety will come running back to you.
And you’ll be clutching your phone while thinking, “Has she read my text? Does she still like me?”
So how do you effectively battle your text anxiety?
Distraction sure as heck doesn’t work.
You could be at a BBQ with your best bros and still be constantly checking your phone for new messages.
So you need something deeper.
Something that’s meaningful for you RIGHT NOW.
Perhaps reading a book.
Sharpening a skill.
Learning a new marketable trade.
Going to the gym.
It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s moving you closer to your goals and ambitions.
And gives your life color and meaning outside women and dating apps.
If you pick the right activity, you can go from depressed about someone not reaching out to you, to feeling really proud of yourself within 1 hour.
Which also gives you the best energy for when she eventually gets back to you.
#5: How long should you wait to text your ghost?
One of the most controversial dating topics of all time.
How long should you wait before reaching out again?
Mainly on how you met and her texting pattern.
Depending on the circumstances, you may want to wait anywhere from 24 hours to a week.
To know exactly how long you should wait, check out my article on when she didn’t text back.
It breaks down all the different circumstances and tells you precisely how long you need to wait before sending her another text.
#6: Why she doesn’t match your enthusiasm
Every day, I receive emails about men’s biggest date frustrations.
And while they’re almost all worded differently, the frustration often boils down to:
“I just want her to put in the same level of effort as me!”
A perfectly reasonable request.
If you’re a guy.
Because after us guys see a girl’s (dating) photos and have a brief back and forth over chat, we feel pretty good about meeting up.
Women, however, work differently.
Even if she matches you on a dating app, does not mean she’s very invested.
Sure, you may be her type physically.
But your physical looks say little about your more important qualities.
Like how it feels to be in your company.
With so many guys to choose from, women wait for someone special.
Even if it’s something casual, she daydreams about a man out of a fairytale.
A man who can make the clouds part and make the birds sing.
Almost every girl I’ve talked to thinks that finding the ‘right’ guy will feel obvious.
And if she hasn’t felt that, she can be dismissive.
So she needs to feel what makes you unique.
How do you show off your unique personality?
My favorite is…
If you use your voice well, you’ll move out of the “Just another guy”-category to the “He just gets me”-category.
Even though you’re saying the same stuff as you did over text.
The big difference is, now she’s freeing up her schedule to see you.
For more on becoming the ‘right’ guy, check out my article on how to arouse a woman over text.
#7: Why she went full ghost
How often do you have the following?
You match a cute girl on Tinder.
You chat for a while and exchange numbers.
And the conversation slows down to a trickle before it dries up completely.
Or perhaps you do continue the convo and go out on a date, but you never get the 2nd date text.
The above situations have a common cause.
And we’re about to reach into the heart of it.
The two most common texting mistakes that lead to being ghosted are…
Being TOO HOT or TOO COLD.
What does that mean?
Let’s start with being too hot.
If you’re too hot, you’re focused on:
- Being sexual
- Being overly interested
- Being too available
Even if she’s attracted to you physically, your hot vibe will push her away.
Not because she doesn’t want to jump into bed with you.
But because she didn’t have to work for your affection.
So it feels cheap.
And if it feels cheap, it’s disposable.
What does too cold look like?
You can probably guess it:
- Being difficult
- Being unresponsive
- Being closed off
Most guys who go down the ‘cold’ route have been turned down too many times after being too interested.
And so they try to act cool.
But what they really look like are a-holes.
And not the fun schlorping kind.
What’s the solution to being too hot or cold?
What does that look like?
If we keep it strictly to dating apps:
- Smiling on your photos (at least on 1 or 2 pics)
- Having photos of you with friends
- Genuine curiosity over text (stop asking about topics you don’t want to know the answer to)
- Sincere compliments (no fakery, and preferably on something that’s about her personality)
- Honesty (if she said something you really don’t like, tell her)
Why should you be warm?
Because it requires you to be:
- You’re putting your real self out there for everyone to see
- You have to see the world as a beautiful place
- The world hasn’t kept you from hiding your truth
And what do these traits do for her?
Make you stand out from all the other guys.
And more importantly, make you attractive. So that she’ll like you too much to ghost you.
#8: Do you still have a shot after being ghosted?
You’re about to find out if you still have a shot with her.
Being ghosted sucks.
You probably haven’t done anything that deserves to be ignored.
And yet, here’s a girl who’s being flaky and low investment.
Which naturally gives you the idea she doesn’t like you.
But that’s not necessarily so.
If you just met, she barely knows you.
She doesn’t know what you have to offer and how happy you could potentially make her.
Her level of interest is a reflection of what she knows about you TODAY.
It’s not a reflection of how attracted she could be a month from now.
Although that’s NO reason for you to try even harder.
The point is:
It’s not personal if someone is not investing in the early stages.
“But Louis, isn’t her ghosting me rude and a bad sign of what’s to come?”
Her flakiness is unlikely to be a personality trait.
She’s just not that into you RIGHT NOW.
So how do you get her from “Not that interested” to “I want to meet him”?
“Oh, no. Are you about to get all woo-woo with us, Louis?”
No, I’m not going to go hippie on you.
I’m just about to give you the easiest advice on how to make yourself more attractive.
The most attractive people almost always share the same 2 traits:
- They’re warm without trying to sell themselves
- They’re unphased if a stranger doesn’t like them
In short, attractive people have too much going on to care about the opinion of some girl.
So if a girl’s not really investing, the attractive dude matches her level of investment WHILE staying positive.
What does that look like in practice?
See how there’s zero anger?
The attractive man moves forward while giving her a chance to dial up her investment.
If that doesn’t happen, no problem. He’ll just continue his bomb ass life and date another girl.
#9: What NOT to text her
You may be scaring her away with your texts and not even know it.
You matched on Tinder and you had a great chat.
She laughed at your jokes.
She went along with your roleplay.
She even asked you questions.
You are 1337% positive she enjoyed texting you.
Which makes being ghosted by her extra confusing.
So you send her a message
Or you send her some meaningless info about your day.
I hate to break it to you, but every one of those texts is doing nothing but cockblocking you.
Think about it.
What is she likely to say in the best case scenario?
Welcome to Boresville. Next stop, You Ain’t Never Hitting That-town.
If she doesn’t respond, you never want to send the following types of texts:
- Trivial facts about your life that put her to sleep
- Common questions with predictable answers
- A compliment to remind her how much you like her
- Butt hurt cries for attention
- An explanation for why she’s being so sketchy
- A date proposal because you’re afraid to lose her
Continue to read about what you should text her when she ghosts you.
If you ever catch yourself not knowing what to say.
Or if you notice girls take too long to respond, your texts are probably a bit lame.
An easy way to send an irresistible text is with clickbait.
If you’re quick, you can grab my irresistible clickbait line for free.
Not only does it include a line that almost always gets a reply…
You also get 2 follow-up lines to reel her in.
Plus, a video of me where I give actual examples.
#10: What to text when she ghosts you
If you’re like most of my clients, you’ve come to me TOO late.
You probably don’t want to know what to do if she ghosts you.
But what you should do if she ghosts you and you send her something insanely stupid.
It’s almost like being a diplomat who’s been asked to restore peace between two nations if one already flew over to the other and dropped an atomic bomb.
Sure, I may be able to help.
But it’s no guarantee I can straighten things out.
Let me give you an example of a once friendly text conversation that turned into a warzone.
But first some context.
She’s super hot and already flaked on you once before, because she forgot an appointment she already made.
She then apologized and agreed to a new date.
But 30 minutes before the new date starts, she texts you:
To which you replied:
Do you see where things went nuclear?
When you told her you were available on Friday and Saturday.
For a moment, forget about how hot she is and think about what she just did.
Although she flaked on you twice already, she can’t even let you know if she wants to meet you Friday or Saturday. Probably because she’s still figuring out if she has anything better to do!
That’s seriously ugly behavior.
And you’re allowing it.
Before I show you how to fix this apocalyptic wasteland, I’m about to show you how to PREVENT it with a hugely important dating tip:
Meet her where she is.
If she takes 1 step forward, you take 1 step forward. But what you never do is take an extra step forward.
When the girl from the example asked if you had time to meet up, that was not a cue to hand over your schedule.
Especially not the two most valuable social days of the week: Friday and Saturday.
When she read your reply, she knew she didn’t need to put in any work to see you.
So how would you fix this situation?
By pulling back a little:
The ‘def’ lets her know that you’re positive and up for seeing her.
But more importantly, that text will show her you can say no and will force her to put in more effort.
#11: How to build real connection before the date
If you’ve made it through all the tips, you’re probably thinking:
“This texting stuff is way too f#$% difficult.”
And I understand the ‘death to texting’ sentiment.
It’s tough to get a read on someone over text.
You may even say it’s unnatural.
If that’s you, I’ve got a very natural way of flirting with a woman.
Which also builds REAL connection.
A phone call.
Sadly, culture has forced many of us into teenagers who think speaking over the phone is weird.
Despite that weirdness, there are 3 simple ways to get her on the phone with you.
Firstly, use your windows of opportunity.
Often girls will ask you a question that’s too difficult to long-winded over text. That’s an opportunity to move things forward:
If she’s already invested enough, she’ll very likely agree.
Two, put texting in a bad light.
Maybe you’ve been texting for weeks without anything really happening. In which case you can say:
When you’re associating negativity with texting and positivity with video calls, it’s much more likely she’ll bite.
Three, just call.
Maybe you’re on your way somewhere and have a few minutes to spare.
That’s a perfect moment to call.
- It takes the pressure off of her, because she knows the call will be short
- It takes the pressure off of you, because you won’t have to overthink what to say
Once you’ve talked on the phone, she’ll get the idea that calling is a reasonable thing to do.
So she may start calling you too.
Anyway, that’s most of what you need to know on how to respond to ghosting.
But before we wrap it up, I want to give you a present.
If you got ghosted, it’s difficult to take your mind off her.
Because for some warped reason, our minds need closure.
Although I can’t give you closure, I can give you the second best thing.
I’m not into the human trafficking business.
But I can give you a tool that points out all the weaknesses in your online dating profile, and how to fix them.
That way you can get an irresistible profile and attract lots of women.
So you don’t have to think about the one girl who ghosted you.
What’s that tool?
The Dating Profile Checklist.
For more tips, check out these articles:
And don't forget your download below ;)