You had a good back and forth, but then she got quiet.
Looking at your texts, you think:
“Am I overtexting this girl? If so, how do I recover from texting a girl too much?”
Read on and you’ll get:
- 5 Signs that show if you’re overtexting
- The 4 Rs to keep you from texting too much
- What to text when she stops replying to you
- My method for getting her on a date
- How to recover from overtexting
- And more…
What is overtexting
No pressure, but your first series of texts decide your entire romantic future.
So you need to know what to text your crush, when, and how often.
This article only covers the how often. But you can check my Tinder Texting Guide here.
Let’s get cracking.
There’s basically three levels of texting.
- Texting too little
- Texting too much
- And texting just right
Texting too little makes her feel you’re not interested. So she gives up.
Texting too much makes her feel you’re too interested. So she loses attraction.
And texting just right is where the magic happens.
So how do you find that sweet spot where she likes your text messages?
By knowing what NOT to do first…
Oh, and girls can do it too:
While what counts as an ‘overtext’ depends on the girl, the underlying message is always the same:
You’re overdoing it.
If you want to find out if you’re a try hard texter, continue to the next tip.
Because you’re about to get 5 signs that mean you’re clingy.
Are you texting too much? 5 Signs that you’re out of control
This tip will make it crystal clear if you’re too direct, too clingy and too attention seeking.
Chasing her too hard isn’t going to lead you to the date. It’s going to lead to a BLOCK.
Before we begin the list, know that these signs could mean she’s simply busy or not in the mood.
So it depends on the number of signals.
The more signals you see, the bigger the odds you’re overtexting.
1. She gives you short and boring answers
Perhaps you wrote her 5 texts about your trip through Asia and wrapped up your life story with the next question:
And she replies:
Why is she giving you the cold shoulder?
TMI. You gave her Too Much Information.
You’re too interested and she’s telling you to cool it.
2. You get a one-word answer
If she typically replies with a sentence or even several texts, her one-word answer is a red flag.
And it says, “You text too much.”
3. She makes you wait
Waiting a couple of hours for a response is pretty normal.
Especially for women who are ambitious and focused on school or work.
But if she doesn’t text back for one or more days, she’s clearly letting you know you goofed.
4. She stops responding
Unless she’s traveling or working on a big project, she has a moment to reply.
And if she doesn’t, it means you need to slow down. Because she probably thinks you’re too needy.
Although it could also mean you made a joke that rubbed her the wrong way.
4. She stops using emojis
Girls love to use emojis.
Maybe because we’re too dumb to understand their emotions without them.
Anyway, if she normally ends every sentence with an emoji and now doesn’t, she’s getting less interested in the conversation.
Stop. Give her space. And regroup for another day.
5. Your blue ticks turned into grey ticks (WhatsApp)
Have your old app messages gone from blue (meaning it’s read) to grey (meaning delivered)?
She pulled a trick on you.
She changed her Whatsapp preferences to grey ticks only.
Which could mean she doesn’t want you to know she’s read your last text.
And that’s both good and bad.
Good because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Bad because she isn’t planning on texting back.
Why doesn’t she want to reply?
Maybe because you text too much. But there are 10+ other texting mistakes that could also be the cause.
Read all about them in my article on 13 Texting Mistakes.
If these five signs sound familiar, you’re probably overtexting.
There are also signs that you’re hitting the texting sweet spot.
Some are obvious, and others subtle.
Consider the amount of Ys she uses when she says ‘Hey’.
When do you think she’s more excited:
To learn more about How To Tell If A Girl Likes You Over Text, click on the link.
But how do you know you’re scaring her off before you do the damage?
That and more in the next tip.
When are you sending too many texts?
After reading this tip, you’ll know how to get your texts just right.
Because you’ll know exactly when you’re sliding into overtexting.
Word of caution: the definition isn’t precise.
While you may want a clear mathematical description, like:
>7 messages in <3 hours = overtexting
No decent dictionary would ever give a more detailed explanation than:
1 informal texting too much.
‘When an adolescent repeatedly texts a potential mate of the opposite sex until he or she loses all attraction.’
And that’s because overtexting depends on…
And context can be split up into the 4 Rs.
- Is she your girlfriend, colleague, friend, Tinder match, or did you just met?
- What’s her typical response? Does she reply quickly or slowly? Does she use many or few emojis? Does she write long or short texts?
- Reply expectation
- How fast does she expect you to answer? That depends on her cultural background, age and personal experiences.
- Rmindset (Okay, I may have cheated in the last R)
- How do you feel before you hit send? Are you texting her from a state of positivity and abundance? Or are you writing a message because you need her to reply and confirm your worth?
There are vital rules to follow when texting. But I’ll get into that later.
First, we’re going to dig into each of the 4 Rs.
Whether she’s your bae or your Tinder match, it’s pretty common to text on a daily basis.
The big difference between a girlfriend and a match is response rate.
To your girl, you’re one of the most important people in her life. So she’s going to reply back to you as soon as she can.
But to your Tinder match, you’re at best an attractive stranger. So she feels no pressure to reply to your texts.
What does your average chat window look like?
Is it close to this?
Or more like this?
It doesn’t need much explaining that the first screen shows massive interest.
And the second expresses she thinks you’re about as sexy as a doorstop.
Whenever you’re texting, it’s your job to figure out what her ‘normal’ is.
Does she like to talk in rapid salvos or long single texts?
Does she respond quickly or slowly?
Does she blow up your phone with emojis?
Whatever the case may be, identify her normal and look for changes in her text behavior.
If you find that difficult, read my article on How To Tell If A Girl Likes You Over Text.
3. Reply expectation
Texting faster or slower than she’s used to also hurts your chances of dating her.
The trouble is finding out what kind of timing she likes.
And that’s partly decided by what’s typical for her friends. And also her life circumstances.
If she’s a student, odds are she’s used to texting a lot.
If she’s a working professional, she probably only checks her phone during lunch and after work.
But these are only general guidelines.
I’ve dated students who hated texting and took days to reply.
And I’ve been with career-driven women who texted me throughout the entire day. I was the first person she messaged in the morning, and the last person she texted before she went to sleep.
So find out what makes your texting partner tick.
Her expectations also depend on the texting rhythm you’ve built.
If you began your relationship by texting every 3 hours, that’s what she now expects.
Delay your texts to once every 3 days and she’ll feel something is wrong. She may even feel rejected.
The best mindset to have when texting is to desire nothing more than raising emotions.
Both yours and hers.
So anything that gives her a chuckle, makes her feel special, or gets her pussy juices flowing, is good.
But all of those reactions are impossible if you come from a place of neediness.
Because then you’re writing a text in the hopes of getting a response.
Put simply, the purpose of your text is then only to keep the conversation going and feeling good about yourself.
Any text written with that selfish aim is doomed to turn her off.
Luckily there is a method to get you out of a self-centered funk and send epic messages that end in a date.
Check it out in a later tip for guys. But first a quick video…
What to do when she stopped replying
Did you overtext so much that the conversation went completely silent?
She didn’t reply for over 2-3 days?
Seems like you need some help, and I’m here to give it to ya’.
I made a quick guide on what to do when a girl stops replying.
Watch it now:
Once you’ve seen it, you’re ready to get some of the most advanced texting tips…
Send texts she likes with the TextGod method
Make her crave your texts with the TextGod method.
The acronym of this technique says more about me than about any woman out there.
So what does it stand for?
Although it usually won’t be used in that order.
Let’s start with the workhorse of texting.
Unless you’re Ryan Gosling, no Tinder match will go out with you if you don’t tease her.
Tease her about what?
Hmmm, let me think.
- Her Instagram photos of pumpkin spice lattes.
- How she has an infinite collection of leather jackets.
- Her love for Dane Cook.
You can literally tease her about everything.
As long as you remember one MEGA IMPORTANT thing…
Teasing is not bullying.
What’s the difference?
Bullying is mean and cruel.
Its aim is to hurt.
Its goal is to raise emotions. To playfully point out the silly.
What does it achieve?
It makes you equals.
Instead of seeing her as some divine creature that farts rainbows, you see her for what she is.
A cumdumpster. A regular human being.
Even when you mean to make a joke, she might take offense.
That’s why the next step is to understand what’s going on in her skull.
Because there’s only one thing a woman hates more than being insulted.
And that’s when you don’t know you insulted her.
But her greatest turn off can also be her greatest turn on.
Know what she’s going through and you earn muchos sexy points.
Once you understand her, you earn her trust.
Next up, sexualisation.
Sexualzing is a double edged sword.
Force it in and she won’t enjoy it. (Unless she’s into that)
While being too careful will result in a one way ticket into the friendzone.
But let it happen naturally, and she’ll probably have a laugh and it increases your chances of getting laid over text.
Let me show you an example.
Imagine you’re a surgeon.
Now compare that to Sergeant Subtle:
That line is going to have any woman running for the hills.
So how do you know you’re doing a good job of sexualizing?
When your match knows you mean sex, but you never mention anything about rubbing genitals.
Now for the last ingredient.
After you’ve sparked her emotions by teasing, understand what she’s going through and know she isn’t a prude, lead the conversation.
For example, don’t just give her control of the conversation by asking her a bunch of boring questions.
LEAD towards the direction you want the conversation to be.
You want more fun? Crack a joke.
You want more flirting? Flirt.
You want to get her on a date? Roleplay scenarios of you hanging out together.
Now let’s get into something very important…
How to recover from texting a girl too much
You’re about to learn how to save your conversation and your chances of seeing her again.
You see, if you’ve texted too much, your conversation is speeding toward its death.
There’s one simple method to keep your convos from dying out.
But before we get to that, let’s get into the wrong solution.
The intuitive solution.
When you see the life drain out of the conversation, you instinctively want to bring it back to life.
So you fire a volley of needy texts.
Texts that only serve to lure out a reply.
And your scream for attention may work.
But now that she sees you as a dog that will follow her every command, her reply gets even shorter.
Continue down this path and eventually she won’t reply at all.
That’s why you want to do the opposite of what your instinct tells you.
And I call it the two-third method.
Rather than talk more, you talk less.
Note: you want to start from the get-go.
Whatever she gives you, you give two thirds back.
So if she sent you 3 sentences, you send back 2.
If she sent you one text of 18 words, you send back 12 words.
And this method of doing less doesn’t just apply to text length, but also to questions or topics she introduces.
Ignore ⅓ of her questions or topics and answer the other ⅔.
If she only asks one question, answer only part of it. Or end on a cliffhanger.
Lastly, take slightly longer to reply.
It’s possible she only replied with a short sentence, “haha”, or an emoji.
Use the two-third method now and you’ll talk gibberish and put an end to the conversation for good.
So you want to do something else.
First, you want to wait a while to show you have a life. Maybe a week.
Then you want to spark her emotions and show her how fun you can be.
Find something she likes and say, “This made me think of you.”
It doesn’t have to be a meme.
It could also be a song, video or inside joke.
If this sounds difficult to you, check out my 10 texts that always work. Which includes three ways to keep the conversation going.
If you enjoyed reading my article, I have something else you might like.
The TextGod Toolkit.
If you use dating apps, you probably run into the occasional problem.
You may not know what to send to your new match.
Or you may not get (enough) matches at all.
My toolkit solves all your texting troubles by:
- Finding the flaws in your dating profile
- Revealing the secret of the clickbait opener
- Giving you the 10 lines I use to start conversations, to raise emotion, to ask her out, and much more.
The best part?
It’s FREE. And that’s a pretty good price.
You can find it below.
For more tips, check out these articles:
And don't forget your download below ;)