You want to know how to arouse a woman over text.
It’s not an easy feat. But it can be done.
And you will discover exactly how to do it right here!
This is what you get:
- 3 massive mistakes most men make (that cockblock them!)
- Why text is the best medium to arouse women
- L. James’ secret technique to turn on ANY woman
- What you need to understand about visual arousal
- 3 techniques I use to build sexual tension through text
- 10 screenshot examples of good and bad texts
- And much more…
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
#1: How to arouse her like Christian Grey
Christian Grey is the absolute king of arousing women.
If you live under a rock, Christian is the main character from the infamous book, 50 Shades of Ga… uh… Grey.
Which, according to Forbes, made its writer the top-earning author in the world.
Although the book was a raging success, many people saw it as a joke.
Men laughed at the book.
Dating coaches mocked the book.
But I LOVED the book.
Now 69% of you probably think I’m an idiot.
But hear me out.
Because I have a valid reason.
And if you disagree, I’ll gladly wear your insult like a badge of honor.
So here’s why Christian Grey is an absolute mad lad.
He’s an SM millionaire who wants to explore every inch of an average-looking woman’s body. And in pursuit of his goal, he stays mysterious, plays psychological games, and displays hyper dominant behavior.
(Like confiscating her car which he deems unsafe for her, and replacing it with a Hummer.)
All that behavior flies against the typical male understanding of the female mind.
Think about it.
Christian Grey’s behavior is the complete opposite of men who get friendzoned.
- He isn’t overly respectful
- He isn’t too interested in her life
- He isn’t looking at her like she’s an innocent princess
- He doesn’t touch her like she’s as fragile as 5,000-year-old cup of porcelain
Most men will look at these behaviors and think he’s an aggressive terror to women.
And perhaps they’re right…
If it wasn’t for the fact that 50 Shades of Grey sold over 15 million copies.
And trust me, women didn’t buy the novel for its captivating plot.
Now I hear you thinking:
“Ok, Louis, does that mean I have to be an SM-dominant billionaire to arouse women?”
Well, it would definitely help, but the answer is NO!
In fact, this tip is not even about Christian Grey at all.
The point that most men miss, is that 50 Shades of Grey was the fastest-selling book of ALL TIME…
…because it aroused women like no other book has done before.
What made the book so arousing is the basis of this article.
Because if you understand the secret to 50 Shades Of Grey, you know the secret to arousing women over text.
Let’s see what that key ingredient to arousal is, in the next tip.
#2: The secret to arouse a woman over text
In this tip I’m giving you the main ingredient to arouse women over text.
And you’ll start to get an idea of how to change your own text messages.
See, if you’d pick up a copy of 50 Shades of Grey…
…and actually read it…
…then you might notice that in the first HUNDRED pages…
…there’s not even a kiss!
And even though there hasn’t even been a kiss, women are aroused out of their minds by this point.
That is because biologically there is a COLOSSAL difference between what turns on men and women.
Us simple men… yes, that’s you and I, are programmed by nature to respond sexually to the visual.
The visual alone is enough to arouse a man.
It takes far more than seeing naked men to arouse a woman.
Maybe you’ve ever been naked next to your girlfriend in the bathroom.
You’re both brushing your teeth, getting ready for the day.
You can’t help but get turned on from seeing her naked body.
While she has no difficulty just brushing her teeth while thinking about her schedule.
It’s almost painful to admit…
But women rarely get aroused simply by looking at a guy.
But us men, we get turned on the briefest sight of female flesh…
…on almost any female…
…at almost any time.
Told ya’ so.
So, unclothed men aren’t a very effective way to arouse women.
Then what IS an effective way?
I’m glad you ask, my friend.
An effective way to arouse women is… CONTEXT.
What I mean by context is all the little details that are involved with the relationship between you, and the girl.
Consider 50 Shades Of Grey. It’s author, Erika Leonard, spent 100 pages on setting the mood before the two main characters kissed.
BTW, this is also the reason why men are often disappointed when they email me, asking:
“Hey Louis, how can I turn on a girl in a few messages?”
They expect some magical copy-paste sentences to get the girl to sprint towards his house ASAP.
But that’s not how it works.
If a woman would ask me how to turn on a man over text…
…then I COULD give her a few magical sentences.
And they’d be rather explicit.
Or I’d tell her to send a spicy photo.
And it would work.
Because men’s arousal is like a light switch.
You flick it once and *FLASH* there’s light!
Women’s arousal is more like a bonfire.
You can’t simply set a tree on fire.
You first have to create a spark, then catch the spark with some straw, and slowly grow the fire with twigs, sticks, and logs.
Do you skip a step by going from straw to logs? Then you risk putting the fire out.
To summarize, women need to slowly go through all the motions before she’s ready for the final act.
#3: Find her sexual triggers
Some women DO get aroused by visual triggers…
…But there are a few things that arouse almost all women.
You might notice a trend on apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and so on…
Women stating they are sapiosexual.
(Being attracted to intelligence.)
Look at this screenshot example of Coach Dan:
He does a whole lot more than just showing intelligence, but showing intelligence is the main ingredient here.
A total turn-on for this woman, while it is just meh to another woman.
It’s YOUR job to be on the lookout for what turns her on.
Is she the type to appreciate a suggestive photo?
Or does she prefer a clever comment?
Does picturing a massage by candlelight turn her on?
Or does she become attracted when you give her a dominant remark?
Every woman has her own preferences.
But there’s one thing that almost always works wonders…
And that, my fellow simple man, is making ambiguous statements.
Things that are easily interpreted as sexual, but are not directly sexual.
(Examples of ambiguous statements later in this article!)
There’s tons of men making direct sexual remarks.
Direct sexual texts do NOT create sexual tension.
And all of them are cockblocking themselves.
Which is great news for you and I.
Because it makes us stand out.
Let’s look at better tactics in the next tips!
#4 Mock yourself, the sexual way
This technique will show her you are clever and funny…
…while building sexual tension through text.
Self-deprecating humor is what I breathe.
Not only do I find it hella amusing…
…girls find it hella amusing as well.
And not only does it work with any subject…
…it works extra fine when talking about sexual things.
Now before this becomes too vague, let’s look at a screenshot example.
It’s sexual, but not directed at her.
On Bumble, women always send the first text.
(Or if your profile sucks they don’t send a first text, and your match evaporates.)
A pretty standard Bumble opener. Because let’s face it…
…women put in even less effort than men when it comes to starting a conversation.
This TextGod disciple’s reply?
The conversation just became sexual.
Although 0 pressure was put on the girl and nothing was said about her.
And I’m pretty sure she giggled a little when receiving this text.
She says… and the conversation is off to a great start.
#5 Ambiguous statements to arouse her over text
My personal favorite way to build sexual tension via text.
Or in simple-people-speak:
Saying things that could have more than one meaning.
Like when a friend passes you a French baguette and you go:
And then both you and your friend start laughing because you made a penis joke.
(And I don’t care if you are 18 or 55. Penis jokes are ALWAYS funny.)
It’s clear that you’re talking about the long-shaped bread like it’s your friend’s phallus…
But when using these suggestive wordplays over text…
…she can never be really sure if you meant what she thinks you meant. #mindgames
Let’s look at a screenshot example where I was abroad.
Together with my team, we were visiting Riga, the cute capital of Latvia.
A Tinder match of mine was being very sweet and helpful.
She took it upon herself to give me some touristic tips.
This is what she said:
Not the type of text that sets you up with much to arouse your woman over text, right?
Only it does.
Almost every text ever sent can be used to mentally arouse someone.
All it takes is some playful word magic.
Do you see where it gets a double meaning?
If you don’t, no worries.
She didn’t either.
It’s right here:
Referring to the internet joke: “Just the tip.”
If you notice you’re a bit TOO ambiguous, then you can always make it clearer in the next texts:
I am 100% aware that my jokes are on the level that you can only get away with when doing standup.
Or in private conversations. With your friends who have similar styles of humor…
…Or even on a dating app, where the other person can unmatch you at the click of a button should she feel uncomfortable.
Either way, she enjoyed the jokes:
I shoot her one more text back on the subject and then swap it to something else.
Your ambiguous statements will only be fun and effective if you don’t over do them.
Do you find it difficult to write your own ambiguous texts and need some guidance?
Say no more.
Check out The 10 Texts That Always Work.
Texts that my team and I use regularly.
And more importantly, successfully.
Just throw one in every now and then after a bunch of non-arousing texts.
#5 Accidentally slip it in
Want to escalate your conversation faster?
Arouse her quicker and don’t mind potentially screwing up?
Then you could try to… you know…
Just whip it out and then pretend you didn’t whip it out.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Over text, this would mean that you say something very direct…
…aaaaaand then just move on with the conversation like nothing happened.
Getting too vague?
Time for a screenshot example then!
Couple things to note here.
Firstly, when she asks:
Her calling me a hot nerd, refers to my Tinder bio. Something I’m not going to reveal right here.
When she asks this question, she expects an answer like this:
What she doesn’t expect is this:
That’s part of the reason why I get away with this.
Another reason is that I say this with an abundance mindset.
I don’t care if the conversation goes south.
I don’t want to talk with someone that finds this too extreme.
We’d never get along.
But here’s the thing…
When you’re making a direct sexual statement like that, you want to follow it up with a joke.
Don’t do it without style, because if you just start talking about sex when noone is talking about it…
When no one asks about it…
Then you’re going to come across as a mega creep REAL fast.
But when you put it out there and continue the conversation…
…you’re showing that you’re aware what you did isn’t normal.
Which instantly makes it less intimidating.
#6: Mistakes when trying to turn on women over text
No article is complete without making fun of people who do it wrong learning from other’s mistakes.
So let’s not waste any more time and quickly learn from 3 guys doing it wrong.
There’s no explanation needed, is there?
If you notice someone doesn’t like what you’re saying/doing, then stop doing it.
If you read the tips in this article, then you know sexualizing indirectly is often key.
But there’s limits.
This guy is obviously asking the girl he is texting to be friends with benefits.
He is not actually asking if she knows anyone to be his FWB.
He’s just lacking the balls to ask her directly.
So he takes the biggest detour ever…
…and instead of building sexual tension over text, he makes the conversation incredibly weird.
What would have been a better way to see if she’s up for it?
By reacting to one of her texts with an ambiguous statement.
And then seeing how she reacts to it.
Or he could, just like she says, just try Tinder and other dating apps like Bumble.
Tinder 101: Don’t send a sexual opener.
Men who want to arouse a woman over text, but don’t have the patience to do it right, won’t get results.
I’ve got to give it to the guy for his follow-up text though.
And to the girl for laughing at the whole situation rather than being butthurt.
What a wonderful world.
#7: Warning: Arousing her may lead to nudes
Last but not least,
Arousing a woman over text may end up in spicy photos being exchanged.
Though not everyone is a fan of the sport…
…your odds will increase if she trusts you.
So earn her trust, and keep her trust.
It’s your responsibility to keep safe whatever she sends you in private.
Just like it’s your responsibility to keep to yourself whatever anyone tells you confidentially.
Enjoy yourself and have a blast.
Just make sure it stays fun.
That being said,
I hope you have a better idea of how to arouse women through text.
I’ll see you around!
For more tips, check out these articles:
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