You let love slip out of your hands and want it back.
I feel you, bud.
We’ve all been there.
That’s why I’m going to give you 7 ways on how to get your ex back by text message.
- Getting your ex back
- #1: Correct the issue
- #2: Find your happiness
- #3: Show off your happiness on social media
- #4: Do it for you
- #5: Be patient
- #6: The best way to keep in touch
- #7: The only intricate text message you want to send your ex
- Respect her boundaries
- A reality check
- The trick to moving on
Getting your ex back
Being dumped sucks.
Not only does rejection by the person you love feel like a sucker punch in the gut, but nobody seems to get how you feel.
Your family tells you you’re better off without them.
And your friends say you should just get back ‘out there’.
Yet whenever you hear your phone ring or feel the buzz of a text, you catch yourself hoping it’s your ex going:
If you really want your ex back, I’ve got 7 steps to make it happen.
#1: Correct the issue
There is ZERO point in trying to get your ex back if you don’t fix this first.
If you don’t address the reason she broke up with you, the relationship is doomed to fail again.
So before you get together, you must fix the issues that led her to break up with you.
And that may take a while.
Do you suffer from insecurities? Go see a counselor or coach.
Are you lazy and without ambition? Go find a project or career to sink your teeth into.
Whatever it is that she didn’t like about you, you must first fix it before trying to get her back.
Talking about fixing issues, here is an epic video where I rate some of your convos!
#2: Find your happiness
So many people wallow in misery after getting dumped.
Understandable. It feels like someone ripped open your chest and took a big fat dookie on your heart.
But you can’t feel shitty forever.
It rarely works to win her back.
And neither does it do anything good for other areas of your life.
Sure, sometimes throwing a pity party can make her feel sorry for you.
But usually the whole ‘I can’t live without you’-pitch just makes you look pathetic and weak.
And it makes sense!
Why would she want to be with someone who’s a complete mess?
Almost no one does because it’s just not attractive behavior.
So what is attractive?
Positivity, confidence and happiness.
If she sees you having a good time without her, she may start to feel that she’s missing out and that she made a mistake dumping you.
So you have to give her something to desire.
You know that happiness thing we just talked about?
Go find it.
#3: Show off your happiness on social media
Showing off your new awesome lifestyle can be tough.
You can’t just drive by her house in a Maserati with the top down while showing off your epicly buff gym bod.
I mean, you could.
But it won’t come across as a positive.
To truly give her the idea that you’ve turned a corner and become a new-and-improved-you, you want to use social media.
Uploading cool photos of your life to social media is normal.
So when she’s on her Instagram and sees your latest story in her feed, she won’t think you made the story for her.
You made it for your friends, family and whoever else follows you.
Will she see every story?
But studies show that she’ll likely click on something eventually and then get pulled deep into your Instagram or Facebook feed.
#4: Do it for you
Do not misunderstand me when I say your goal is to get your life in order.
Many people going through a break up will understand that as: get my life in order so that she wants me back.
Get your life in order for yourself!
Sure, it’ll help to win back your ex. But getting your shit together does something way more important.
A bunch of things actually:
- It’ll distract you from the pain
- It’ll improve you as a human being
- It’ll rebuild your confidence
- It’ll make you feel good
- It’ll make you stronger, smarter and better
- And it’ll ultimately put you in a place where you don’t even need her anymore
- A breakup can be a phenomenal catalyst for personal growth
So get after it.
Work out. Train hard. Run. Hike. Play guitar. Read books. See friends. Do jiu jitsu.
Just get after it.
#5: Be patient
The worst thing you can do now is run back to her and demand she takes you back.
That’ll probably just scare her off even more.
Even if she does still love you, she has clearly shown you that she needs space.
Time for herself.
By forcing your way back into her life, you’re just proving that she made the right choice by breaking up with you: you prioritize your feelings over hers.
Don’t give her a reason to feel good about the break up.
If anything, you want to make her doubt her decision for dumping you.
Which may sound manipulative. But if you’re truly right for each other, sowing doubt about the break up is in her benefit too.
Back on track:
Don’t try to crowbar your way into her life, work on being happy by yourself.
Get back in the gym. Start reading again. Do a roadtrip with some friends. Get better at your job.
Once you hit a good groove, reflect and ask yourself, “Do I still want her back?”
If so, let her know you want to talk things through over a cup of Joe.
Once she gets the message, chill. Back off and give her space.
After all, she knows where to find you.
#6: The best way to keep in touch
To get her back, she needs to know you want her back.
Most guys, however, do a terrible job of letting her know they want to get back together.
Bombarding her with texts. Calling her at inappropriate times. Asking her to marry them in a last ditch effort to seem mature and put together.
So clingy. And more importantly, ineffective.
The best way to show her you still like her is by keeping it chill.
Like wishing her a happy birthday or merry Christmas.
The occasional random text can also work, but requires a little more tact.
Check out the next tip for more.
#7: The only intricate text message you want to send your ex
If you want to get back together, you can’t send her any random text.
After all, she probably doesn’t want to talk to you.
So a real conversation is out of the question.
What do you do to show her she’s on your mind?
Make her remember the good times.
- Send her a photo of a gift she once gave you
- Send her a photo of a park or café you used to visit a lot
- Send her a photo of something that she always liked to get when you were together (for example: funny license plates)
Whatever you do, I recommend you stick with a picture.
It’s incredibly low-effort and it doesn’t come across as needy.
A text message usually implies you want a response. But a photo is like a little snack that can be enjoyed without guilt.
So be her not-so-secret-Santa.
Respect her boundaries
This is super important, so I’m going to give it to you straight:
Respect her boundaries.
If she ever says anything along the lines of:
Or if she straight up blocks you, it’ll never work out between you two.
So if she tells you to stop texting her, move on.
A reality check
You may not like to hear this, but it’s what you need to hear:
You may not need to get back with your ex.
Now hear me out before you book a flight to Belgium and dropkick me in the face.
I understand that you’re head over heels over this person and would do almost anything to get her back.
But before you do, I have a question for you that I want you to answer truthfully:
Is she really the fun, sweet and understanding person you think she is? Or are you maybe romanticizing her in a way that makes her larger than life?
She legit may be an awesome human being.
But it’s also possible she’s not quite right for you. Or that you’re not right for her.
Yup. You may not be what she needs right now. And if that’s true (you should know, she no doubt explained why she wanted to break up) the best thing you can do for her is leave her alone.
I know that’s not what you want to hear. I know that’s not why you came to this article.
But it’s my job to tell you what you need to hear.
And some of you don’t need to get her back.
The trick to moving on
Heartbreak fuggin’ sucks.
Whenever you have a moment for yourself, your mind snaps back to your ex.
Watching a beautiful sight? Again, your mind snaps straight back to wishing your ex was with you.
So it’s not just about distraction and filling your day with epic activities.
The memory that makes your heart ache will come flooding back whenever it has a chance.
So what’s the cure?
Bettering your life in a fundamental way.
Because what happens when you achieve something important and meaningful?
- Suddenly life matters again.
- You gain confidence. You’ve proven to yourself you can change the world for the better.
- You see possibility. Perhaps you really can get to a place where you’ll feel whole again.
So what fixes heartbreak isn’t hanging out with friends, going on a holiday or working overtime.
Those distractions only work momentarily.
To move on, you need meaningful progress.
That could be something as large as your life’s passion, but also something as little as working out, eating a salad or cleaning up your room.
Start small if you need to.
The little things will get the ball rolling so you have enough momentum for the big stuff.
I know how brutal it is to feel heartache.
It’s really hard.
But I want you to know we’re in this together. What I said earlier about meaningful progress?
I truly believe that’s the best way to move on WHILE also having a legit shot at getting your ex back.
Commit to something important.
Then you’ll see how bright the world can actually be.
Good luck, my friend.
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