You got a fun match!
And you get along well over text.
But now you’re wondering, how long should I text her before suggesting to meet up in real life?
No worries, because you’re about to get your answer in this article and much more.
- How long should you message someone before meeting IRL?
- #1: Don’t be in a rush
- #2: It’s personal
- #3: Meeting up is often a question of safety
- #4: How well do you really know her?
- #5: Make sure you’ve covered the basics
- #6: Don’t overshare
- #7: Connect your social media
- #8: If it’s going slow, try something new
- #9: Avoid heavy conversation
- #10: How to get the date and meet up in real life
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By the end of this article, you’ll know exactly how long to text before setting up the date and you’ll get a few tips to make her excited about meeting you.
How long should you message someone before meeting IRL?
If you’re here, you’re probably making one of two mistakes:
You ask matches out too soon. Or you ask them out too late.
Tragically, both flubs end the prospects of what could have been a hot date.
- Hot date 🙁
Lucky for you, here is your one-stop-shop for online dating meeting etiquette.
Make sure you read ‘til the end. Because how long you should wait depends.
- If she feels attracted to you
- If she feels comfortable with you/trusts you
- If she’s excited to spend time with you
Let’s get into it.
#1: Don’t be in a rush
You’re looking at your beautiful Tinder match.
You’re imagining the feeling of being with her.
All of a sudden, you can’t control your excitement and you prematurely…
Ask her to meet IRL.
Most guys are in a rush to meet up.
Yes, I get it. Men are wired to want beautiful women.
But women are far more selective in who they meet up with.
Think about it from her point of view.
Women are focused on good vibes first, meeting second.
While men want a successful meeting yesterday.
All too often women will message back and forth with a new match. To see if he’s any fun.
Then all of a sudden:
Adopt her mindset. Avoid conflict.
By realizing she’s not yet ready, conflict is avoided.
Otherwise there’s a big chance she’ll lose interest. If you’re too eager, she’ll assume that you get many women.
And our boy doesn’t get the date.
So it’s better to adopt a similar curious mindset.
Focus on her vibes. That way you’ll be moving at her pace, and she will slowly warm up to you.
Plus, you won’t seem as eager/available, and crucially more interesting to her.
Some more basics for you right here:
#2: It’s personal
This is a common mistake that almost every man makes. Here’s how you avoid it.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
What does this have to do with online dating and when to meet up?
I’m glad you asked.
Women are like chocolates. They are very different from one another.
Using the same strategy for every girl doesn’t work. No person is alike. Some may need more time, others less.
How do you know when the time is right?
Firstly, her signals of interest over text. More on that here.
But also what she communicates with her profile.
Not everyone is looking for a deep personal connection and a relationship.
Heck, some women aren’t even looking to date. Some just want to have a good time without strings attached.
A lot of the time you can already see in which category she fits based on her profile.
But never assume and shoot the big ‘meet up’ suggestion. Some profiles are hard to read…
If she seems the type to meet fast, flirt first and see how she responds.
Good response? You can probably go on a date quickly. Neutral response? Wait longer.
#3: Meeting up is often a question of safety
Men often don’t understand something crucial.
Few realize that women have a need to feel safe around a man before meeting up. They just think it boils down to attraction.
But that’s not true.
A woman can be incredibly attracted to a man through his photos and texts. But still feel uncomfortable meeting him.
It’s unfortunate, but as shown in this study, women need to be careful with who they meet up with online.
Also, there’s the problem of catfishing.
Obviously I’m not talking about the watersport.
How do you ensure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot?
Never show her any red flags that destroy her trust in you. And work on building rapport.
As mentioned previously, women need connection to meet up.
If you build rapport, she is gonna be 69 times more excited to meet in person.
Not sure what to ask to continue building rapport? Here’s 100+ Tinder Questions That Actually Work. So you can keep that convo going strong.
#4: How well do you really know her?
There is one thing that a lot of guys overthink.
How long you should wait before asking to meet up.
Think about your dream match.
She has a lot of guys talking to her.
Do you think she’s more likely to meet up with a guy she’s been talking to frequently? Or one she’s been randomly talking to on and off for a while?
Thinking how long you should wait is the wrong mindset. It’s not about time, it’s about frequency.
Maybe you started talking 5 weeks ago, but you only sent 10 texts back and forth.
Then the time still isn’t right to meet up.
She doesn’t feel like she knows you. Meeting up feels wrong to her.
But you can also talk for one or two days and build a ton of rapport with frequent messaging.
Now meeting up may feel exciting to her. ✨
You guessed it: it all depends on the connection.
Sometimes you’ll get along very well and you may only need to talk with her for a few days.
Other times the conversation doesn’t flow as easily.
Maybe because your schedules aren’t synced up, and it takes a bit longer. That’s fine.
There is no magic amount of time to wait.
As long as the conversation is moving forward, any pace is good enough.
She doesn’t need to know your whole life story before meeting up with you.
You just need to cross her trust threshold.
And that can be done relatively fast depending on how well you text.
If you exchange a few messages every day, somewhere between the fifth and seventh day of talking is usually a good time to ask her out.
Find out how in my 10 Texts That Always Work.
#5: Make sure you’ve covered the basics
If this is the ONLY tip you take from this article, it will already improve your online dating.
You undoubtedly know the saying, tip of the iceberg?
For those who’ve been hiding away in their Doomsday bunkers, it refers to there being loads beneath the surface you don’t see.
If the convo is surface level, you can talk for months and still not know anything about each other.
Which means meeting up is out of the question.
Like an iceberg, the woman you’re talking to has a lot going for her beneath the surface.
As do you. The relationship will progress when you find out more about one another.
How can you accomplish this?
Share some stuff about yourself to make yourself relatable.
Loads of guys put on a persona when they chat with their matches. Don’t.
Relatability and genuineness is super important. Be vulnerable.
At the same time, you want to know some basic stuff about her too. Otherwise she may be wondering why you’re asking her to meet up.
Good rule of thumb: If you can’t give a decent description of her to a friend, you probably need to build some more rapport.
#6: Don’t overshare
Apply this simple trick and your chances of getting laid will SKYROCKET.
You know that friend that can’t stop talking?
You have to make sure you’re not that guy on dating apps.
Some guys will treat apps as a way to really get to know her. Like really getting to know her.
That’s not the point of online dating.
You need to build connections, not write her biography.
Besides, getting to know someone over text takes a long time. She may lose interest along the way.
Online dating apps are largely a vibe check.
Yes, you do want to know a little about each other.
Yes, you can’t ask her to meet in person too soon.
But more than anything, you want to feel good about meeting each other in person.
The real getting to know you stuff happens IRL.
BTW, not sure how to get her number? You can try something like this:
#7: Connect your social media
Women love to play Sherlock Holmes.
And I don’t mean like this.
Could be interesting for role play, though?
Anyway, if you have social media, women will want to see it.
And that’s a good thing. But make sure your social media is good, obviously.
Social media is proof that everything you say is true.
Your instagram, own website, and youtube channel if you have them, can build a huge amount of trust and attraction.
Do anything cool/daring/unique? Make sure it’s on social media.
Also, check out my step-by-step guide on How To Get Girls On Instagram. Wanna know a GREAT tool for you to find some more beautiful ladies? Instagram.
#8: If it’s going slow, try something new
Here’s what to do if the conversation is slowly meandering to its death.
Try something new.
Clearly, what you’ve been doing isn’t working.
So you gotta switch things up.
Which sometimes means not texting at all.
That way she can feel you slipping through her fingers. Metaphorically of course, you pervy man.
But if the convo is on its last legs, probably not the best to go silent.
You need to shock it back to life.
The best way?
Voice notes and (video) calls.
They add a totally new element to the conversation: voice and visuals.
Plus, they greatly enhance the pace. Almost like you’re adding fuel to the fire of your relationship.
That’s because she can get a better sense of what it’s like to actually meet up with you.
Remember when I told you women look out for red flags?
If she can get to know you and your vibes better over a call or voice note, then those fears should melt away.
But watch out: don’t treat it like a date. It’s not serious. Just chit-chat. Banter to set the tone.
#9: Avoid heavy conversation
Avoid this common mistake that ends your conversations.
Discussing heavy topics.
I’m sure you have lots of opinions about geopolitical issues and whether we’re all living in the Matrix. And that’s great…
…in real life.
But over text? Not so much.
Not only is it easy to say something vague that needs explaining.
Heavy conversation doesn’t move the convo towards a date!
If anything, it tends to make convos drier than a stoner’s mouth who just sucked down a fat spliff.
Speaking of avoiding dryness, avoid it using my 7 secrets to flirt:
#10: How to get the date and meet up in real life
I’m going to give you the easiest way to set the date.
And it all involves one simple question:
“Is she into it?”
Is showing signs of interest?
Has she been laughing? Asking you questions? Replying quickly? And sending you clit pics?
Then it’s time to strike.
Don’t make the mistake of continuing the convo for fun.
Don’t be like these people. There is nothing funny about this.
If she’s having a good time, you’ve already achieved your first goal.
Now it’s time for the second:
Asking her out.
Yep, that might seem scary to you.
But here’s an insight to the female mind that will make asking her out much easier:
If she’s been chatting with you for a while (and enjoying it) meeting in person is what she’s expecting.
Why doesn’t she ask you out?
Because it’s generally considered to be the man’s job.
Her role is just to show signs of interest to make your job easier.
So don’t stress and ask her out already!
Which will hopefully turn into something like…
Check out more examples in my article:\
There you have it. A sneak peak at my upcoming bestselling book Online Dating: When to Meet. Or Online Dating: When to Meet In Person. Still working on the title.
I’m telling you bro, use these tips, and your question of how long should I text her before suggesting to meet up in real life will be history.
Don’t forget to go to the bottom and click the yellow button. I have a gift for you.
And don't forget your download below ;)