You’re probably here because…
You screwed up a relationship and want to know if that person hates you.
You were lonely and sent a super needy message at 3 o’clock in the morning.
You had one too many piña coladas and sent some regrettable texts.
Whatever your reason, you’re about to discover how to tell if someone hates you over text.
- 10 Telltale signs that someone dislikes you or even HATES you
- The #1 way to find out if someone hates you over text
- The most common reason why someone would hate you
- Stealable texts to breathe new life into a dying convo
- An easy format to always be funny over text and get good reactions
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
By the end of today’s article you’ll know if the person on the other end of your phone hates you, or if you’re just making mountains out of molehills.
#1: Why we get hurt by people
The way we come to like someone may not work as you think.
Although you probably have all kinds of standards: “I like someone who is funny, positive, and cooks a mean pot of chili.”
Your way of liking someone is actually much more simple.
What the heck does that mean?
Well, you usually don’t give two turds about someone until they do something amazing that wins you over.
Once that lightning flash happens, you stick to liking that person.
And you no longer adjust that feeling based on what that person does from that point onward.
Don’t believe me?
How do you think some celebrities literally get away with murder and other atrocities? Because in a fan’s mind they can do no wrong.
What does any of this have to do with you?
Because if someone hates or dislikes you, it’ll largely be for one of two reasons:
- You’ve never done anything to be liked by that person in the first place
- You were liked by that person, but you did something ABSOLUTELY terrible that changed their feelings about you
Were you never on the good side of the person you’re thinking of?
You’re in luck. You can still make a good impression and win that person over.
Did you do something hurtful that changed someone’s perspective of you?
You’ll have a tough time changing that.
“So how would I get someone I hurt back on my side again, Louis?”
I wish I had better news for you, but that is incredibly difficult to answer without knowing what you did. Coming back from a blunder is beyond the scope of this article.
What you will get is the signs that show if someone hates/dislikes you over text.
#2: When someone makes you wait for hours
Look, we’ve all been there.
We’re texting someone.
We’re excited to hear from them.
But they take forever to answer.
Is that a sign someone hates you?
No. Not even close.
Busy people lead busy lives.
And healthy people aren’t addicted to their phones to the point it’s glued to their hands.
But if someone never texts back in the moment?
That’s a little weird.
Because if you like someone, perhaps even have a little crush, getting a text from them is fun. And makes you want to answer right away, just to see what they’ll send next.
Are you always waiting hours or even days for a response?
The person on the other end may not be interested in you.
How do you get her interested in you? By applying 24 tips you can find here.
Disinterest, however, is not quite the same as hate. For hate, we have to see a bunch of signs. Otherwise we can’t be sure.
So let’s move onto the next sign she may ‘hate’ you over text.
#3: The colors are out of whack
Another big sign someone is not that into you is if you’re in the blue.
No. That doesn’t mean you’re in the liberal heart of America.
Neither does it mean you’re feeling a little down.
You’re in the blue if the stream of your text conversation is almost entirely blue and the majority of texts are from you. (On most apps, your texts will be blue, and hers will be another color)
In short, the color ratio is all out of whack.
Does that mean the person on the other end hates you?
Hmm… possibly. But unlikely.
Want to know why she’s sending you such short texts? Click here for an article that gives you 9 reasons why girls send short messages.
Do you ever have text convos where you feel like the other person is losing interest?
That’s totally fixable, if…
You have my 10 Texts That Always Work.
Is the conversation coming to a lull?
Can’t get away from boring chit-chat?
Yes, sometimes it’s really that simple.
Onto tip numero four.
#4: The texts ALWAYS come in at the same time
I’ll keep this sign extra short.
If your crush or text buddy ALWAYS comes back to you at the same time, something fuggy is up.
Sure, they could be living some kind of digital minimalism lifestyle that has them checking their phone at set times.
But even the most disciplined people can’t keep that up indefinitely.
Eventually, they’ll succumb to their animal urges and see if they have any messages from their favorite people.
But does your special someone ALWAYS text back to you at the same time? I’m talking at least two weeks.
They’re probably not really digging you and are just replying out of politeness.
IMPORTANT: If these specifically timed texts are long and many, it’s NOT a sign of hate or disinterest.
Sending several long-winded texts at a time is a clear sign of investment. Not hate.
#5: How to create lovers, not haters
Despite popular belief, making friends is actually pretty simple.
Kids do it all the time.
But simple doesn’t mean easy.
How do they do it?
- By showing excitement and being into whatever dumb idea another kid proposes
- By being initiators, kids will go out during lunch break and scramble together two teams for a football match in under a minute
- By contributing
Let’s focus on contribution.
Every kid who has friends adds something to the table.
Some tell stories. Some bring candy. Some ooze energy. And others are good at getting kids to laugh.
In short, people with the most friends give others value.
Here’s an easy thing you can give to anyone over text:
Humor and positivity.
Don’t know how?
I got your back, fam.
Check out this video on how to make girls laugh over text.
One of the best things you’ll get is an easy format to always be funny over text, even when you’re not feeling creative.
Now back to the telltale signs if someone hates you over text.
#5: The ‘hater’ avoids you in real life
A MUCH better and clear sign someone hates or dislikes you, is how they behave in real life.
Do they have a blank expression whenever you lock eyes?
Do they look uninterested while talking to you?
Or do they avoid you although you’re sharing a bunk bed?
The latter is obviously a joke, but it drives home the point:
Has their real life behavior towards you changed for the worse?
“Ehh… I’ve never met this person before.”
Well that’s a HUGE red flag.
If you’re already having thoughts that the person you’re chatting with hates you and you’ve never met…
…it’s probably best to call it quits.
Why would you be interested in a person that you’ve never seen and who is being distant over text?
Maybe it’s because they’re dropping hints to meet up.
…except it’s really NOT!!
If you’re getting vibes someone hates you OVER TEXT and you’ve never seen them, forget about them.
#6: Be careful not to judge too quickly
When you’re crushing on someone, you’re always looking for little hints of interest.
“Do they like me???”
The biggest sign of interest usually comes from someone trying.
Which can show itself in all kinds of ways.
Here’s an example that shows you just how small trying can be.
A few days ago I was walking out of the gym and had to sidestep two women standing near the exit.
As I weaseled my way through, one of them shouted, “SORRY!” And gave me the puppy eyes.
But she hadn’t done anything wrong. (Besides wearing criminally tight yoga pants that showed off her athletic butt.)
So maybe it was her way of saying, “Hello.” 😉
But you can’t know for sure.
One thing on its own doesn’t make a pattern.
Continuing with my gym story, I continued past the girls and towards the bike rack.
As I was patting myself down looking for my bike key, the girls had caught up to me.
The same girl looked at me and said, “Don’t worry. We’re not stalking you.”
That was incident number two.
She didn’t need to speak to me, but she went out of her way to reach out.
What’s the point of all this?
How do you know if someone hates you over text?
You look for the pattern.
You can’t just look at one thing.
You have to take in ALL the things. All the texts and signs.
So let’s continue with some more signs on how to tell if someone hates you over text.
#7: The bragging and boasting is real
Does the person you’re thinking about love to talk about how awesome she is?
That’s NOT necessarily a sign she likes you.
In fact, it could mean she’s a narcissist who loves to show off and wants others to love them too. Just so she can bask in her own glory.
A person who’s actually interested in you, shows that they’re impressed BY you.
Does the person you’re texting with ever seem fascinated with your life and achievements?
That’s a genuine expression they like you.
Does that never happen?
That’s likely a sign of disinterest. Perhaps a sign someone hates you over text.
#8: Not enough time in a day for a call
Someone who is super into you will make time even when it’s not convenient.
That may not be a day.
Heck, it may not even be an hour.
But if they’ll cobble together any spare moments they have to come and see you, that’s a clear sign of interest.
The opposite is also true.
If someone can’t ever seem to have a spare moment to PICK UP A PHONE and talk to you for 60 seconds, that’s likely a sign she doesn’t like you.
Still not 169% sure if someone hates you over text?
The next tip will settle it for you.
#9: THE tell-tale signs if someone hates you over text
If all the previous signs still left you doubting what your crush or friend was thinking of you…
…these signs will give you the clarity you need.
Someone who doesn’t like you will send you a combination of the next signs and texts.
Let’s dive into it.
The EASIEST sign of them all, although not everyone is bold enough to send it, is a variation of the three messages:
A more common text, that’s almost as direct is:
Or the tried and true:
Haven’t ever got one of those?
There may still be some hope. Or the person on the other end is just too polite to turn you down.
Most people will likely be more indirect and show their disinterest through being curt.
Suppose you send three long-ish texts and she sends you one of these:
All these texts say, “Whatever I don’t care.”
Does the person send these texts after waiting for HOURS or even DAYS? Then she definitely doesn’t give two shits about you (right now).
While I don’t want to give you false hope, I also don’t want to give you false information.
If someone you’re into makes you wait forever and sends you short texts…
…it is POSSIBLE that she’s just going through a tough time.
Perhaps family issues, a bout of depression, or she accidentally stepped on her pet turtle.
So she’s feeling more messed up than Britney Spears in 2008.
Yet she’s still texting you.
Which could very well be a genuine sign of interest.
I’ll tell you how to spot the difference in the next tip.
I once knew a girl who told me she shows disinterest by giving guys she doesn’t like a platonic nickname.
After that dude sent her some texts about his day, she’d go:
Cruel, but effective. Although some guys still didn’t get the message that she wasn’t interested…
Another tell tale sign of disinterest is:
The other person’s texts are colorless. No joking. No flirting. No depth. Just lifeless chit-chat.
Want to know the best way to get a girl to tease and flirt with you?
Tease and flirt with her first!
Lastly, and hopefully redundant, the person on the other end sends you texts like:
Or refers to you as:
Or any other variation.
Do the above clues STILL not remove ALL doubt?
The next tip will clarify exactly how the person on your mind feels about you.
#10: Just ask
We have gone over A LOT of signs that show if someone dislikes you over text.
Did the above clues still leave some doubt about what that person thinks of you?
The following technique will remove all that:
If someone is important to you, but you don’t know how they feel about you, stop wasting time guessing.
Grow a pair and ask.
Let me give you an idea of what I mean.
The beauty of this text?
- It’s bold and honest
- It’s respectful
- It’s chill
In fact, it’s so chill that she’ll get the impression she’s not even a blip on your radar.
Which MAY make her want to keep talking with you and prove her worth!
“What? He’ll leave me alone that easily? Doesn’t he know how awesome I am?!”
That said, I don’t know what texts you sent her, or what your relationship is with this person. So I obviously can’t be sure she’ll react in this way.
What I DO know, is that you’ll get the answer you want if you just ask her.
Does she dislike you?
Or even hate you?
Find another friend or person to crush on.
And even if you don’t need to find someone else, it’s always fun meeting new people online.
Before I wrap up today’s article on how to tell if someone hates you over text, here’s a great tip on how to meet more and better people online:
Don’t choose your own photos.
Science shows that we’re bad at selecting photos where we look most attractive. So get outsiders to rate your dating profile!
And because I like to over-deliver, one last gift.
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For more tips, check out these articles:
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