10 Things to Do (and Text) When Your Date Gets Canceled

You had a date and it got canceled.

Now you don’t know what to do.

Do you reschedule?

Do you find out why the date was canceled?

Do you act butthurt and scream?

By the end of the article, you’ll know exactly what to do when your date gets canceled.

You get:

  • The 4 most common mistakes you should avoid at all costs
  • What to say if she cancels last minute
  • An easy method to figure out if she still wants to see you
  • 4 Copy-pastable response texts that I use when she cancels
  • The biggest reason why girls cancel on the date
  • How to respond to a ‘sorry I have to cancel because I’m feeling sick’ text
  • More examples…

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#1: The most important thing to keep in mind

Before I give you any concrete steps on what to do and secure the next date…

…you MUST always be aware of the following:

The relationship.

Have you met her in person?

Did you meet in real life and plan the date over text?

Have you already been on a date?

Has she canceled before?

All extremely relevant questions that completely change what you should do next.

So never forget: context is king.

And sometimes context is a girl in a fairy outfit.

That’s why I’m going to give you context-specific advice.

Starting with…

#2: What you absolutely should NOT do

Hop onto the imagination bus, we’re going on a trip.

Suppose today’s the day of the date.

You’ve been looking forward to seeing her all week.

As you get home after a long day, you jump into the shower and get cleaned up.

After you towel off, you put on your freshest outfit. Spritz a little cologne on your wrists and neck. Then you take one last look at yourself in the mirror and head out the door.

As your foot hits the pavement, you hear a “PLING”.

It’s a text.

So you grab your phone and see it’s from your lady friend.

You open up the text and are greeted with:

Hey, something came up and I can’t make it tonight. Sorry!

Your heart sinks into your boots.

But what started as disappointment soon turns to anger.

You decide to give her a piece of your mind.

And you come up with this gem:

What the hell? We planned this date over a week ago! If you don’t want to see me, just say so.This is plain rude. Anyway, bye!

That felt goooooooooooood.

You already feel much better and walk back home.

Just as you reach your door, you get another text. So you pull out your phone.

It’s her.

Sorry if my cat getting violently ill wasn’t convenient for you! Asshole! Yeah, bye!

Oof…

That’s why you never want to act like a jerk.

There’s a few other things you want to avoid at all costs too.

Let’s quickly go over those now.

#3: Three common mistakes after she cancels the date

Although you can’t control whether a girl cancels the date, you can control how she feels about canceling the date.

And if you do what most guys do, she’ll feel plenty fine canceling on you.

In fact, she’ll feel like she dodged a bullet.

But if you avoid these three mistakes, she’ll feel like she’s missing out on a fun experience.

And get in touch with you to set up another date.

So let’s get crackin’.

1: You’re too understanding

Imagine the date’s tomorrow and she just sent you the next text:

Hey, I’m super busy with school
stuff. Cool if we reschedule tomorrow?

You’re a nice guy, so you send her this:

Poor you! Of course we can reschedule! Let me know if you need any help studying. 🙂

Hopefully you can spot what went wrong here.

Otherwise let me tell you.

Not only are you way too kind about her canceling on you, you even offered to help her with work.

Did she do anything to earn that handout?

If you barely know her, the answer is NO!

So quit being so unconditionally kind and available.

Sure, it feels noble. But you’ll get no respect for allowing yourself to be treated as a doormat.

2: You’re too inquisitive

If you’re not living in 15th century Spain working as a Catholic Cardinal, the next behavior is unacceptable:

Why can’t you make it?

Surely you have time to do drinks

We’d already planned our date a week ago. Can’t you cancel your new plans?

Why are you taking your projectile vomiting cat to the emergency room? Can’t you do that after we do drinks?

Unless you’ve got sawdust for brains, you recognize that these texts are bad.

And do nothing else but hurt her attraction for you.

Even if your questions aren’t as ridiculous as the ones above, your questions scream doubt and insecurity.

And nobody wants to date someone who is untrusting and insecure.

So stop seeking an explanation for her cancellation.

3: You’re too oblivious

Probably the most common mistake of all:

Rushing toward the date.

No problem. When do you have time?

Can you do tomorrow?

How about this weekend?

Here’s my entire 12-month schedule. Please pencil in whenever you’re available

Never rush for the date after she cancels.

It does nothing but show weakness.

“Weakness? I don’t get it. She canceled because she was busy. It makes sense to reschedule as quickly as possible… right?”

No, buddy. It only makes sense to your male and logical mind.

But not the female mind that makes (dating related) choices based on how she’s feeling NOW.

By instantly making new plans, you’re showing two things:

  • That you’re a pushover. You clearly don’t care about people abusing your time
  • That you don’t have a life. If you had more going on, you couldn’t reschedule as easily.

Resist the temptation to reschedule.

And value your time. It’s the most valuable resource you have.

You can always earn more money, but nobody can buy himself more time on earth.

Now that you know exactly what to avoid, you at least won’t scare her off.

And if you apply the next tips, she’ll realize that you’re a quality man that she’d be wise to date.

#4: If she cancels last minute

Have you never met her in person and did she flake on you at the last minute?

Then there’s only one thing you should do…

Be chill.

And only chill.

Okay no worries. Have a great week 🙂

“But Louis, how does that text lead to the date?”

It doesn’t.

And frankly, it shouldn’t.

Why would you want to meet up with a girl who clearly doesn’t respect your time?

If she cancels at the last minute without a legitimate excuse, she’s saying that she doesn’t care about you. And that she can’t be relied on.

Hardly the type of person I’d like to go out with.

But because I can’t be sure about what she’s like, I give her the benefit of the doubt and reply with a chill text.

That way I don’t shut down the idea of another date, but I do give her the opportunity to put in some effort and restore my interest in her.

Now the ball is in her court.

And do you know what’s crazy?

If you’re chill and unaffected by her flake, she’ll almost feel offended that you aren’t upset.

Why?

Because it implies that you don’t really care about her.

Now that she knows you don’t really care about her, she’s more likely to try and win you over… and send you a text.

Don’t believe me?

Try it out next time your date gets canceled.

#5: How to figure out if she wants to reschedule

Here comes one of the trickiest parts of getting flaked on…

Did she flake because something actually came up, or is she too afraid to speak up and reject you?

Now, before we continue, know this:

Always assume she likes you and wants to see you.

If you’re living your life to the fullest, you’re definitely a badass mother#$% she’d love to date.

And she doesn’t want to miss out on that.

That said, sometimes things get complicated.

Maybe she’s legitimately interested in you. But maybe she’s also very shy, or unsure about what you’re really like.

So maybe she canceled because you haven’t quite convinced her enough of your coolness. And she wanted to get to know you a little bit better before she met up with you.

How do you find out if she likes you without directly asking it and being a chode?

Simple.

If she’s texting and replying (after canceling on you once) she’s interested in you.

Maybe not enough to meet up with you right now, but definitely interested.

Did she cancel on you and is she suddenly slow to respond to texts and adding very little to the conversation?

Then she highly likely doesn’t want to see you.

Keep your texts brief but infused with playful and positive energy. And stop asking questions.

Does the convo die down without her trying to bring it back to life?

She doesn’t want to meet you.

Move on.

#6: How to bounce back after a date ‘cancellation’

Some date cancellations don’t mean diddly.

In fact, they aren’t even cancellations.

You may just think they’re cancellations.

Now, I’m not calling you out. Many of my starting students of the Mentoring Program actually made the same mistake too.

What the heck am I talking about?

Something that’s probably happened to you many times before.

Let me give you an example:

Hey, let’s do drinks at that bar I mentioned. I’m available Wednesday and Thursday evening

I can’t, I’m busy

*shards of broken dreams flying everywhere*

Now, that may seem like a rejection to some. A date cancellation to others.

But her ‘busy’ text is neither.

She’s simply unavailable.

How do you come back from this ‘rejection’?

By sending her the next text:

Pssst… Now you say, “Luckily I am available on the next dates, Louis…”

(Obviously use your own name.)

And if she likes you, she’ll answer something along the lines of:

Hahaha sorry

So busy

Okay, how about… tomorrow? Wednesday?

*the skies open and the divine light of heaven shines down upon you*

If you lead with confidence, you’ll often see that women respond really well. Especially if you add in a dash of humor.

Holy Tip:

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#7: When your crush cancels the date

When your crush cancels the first date, a million thoughts rush through your mind.

But weirdly, not one of them is:

“Should I blow her off.”

And that’s a big problem.

Look, I understand that she’s a special lady and you’ve been daydreaming about her for weeks, if not months.

But that doesn’t mean that she’s worth the trouble.

Especially if:

  • She’s slow to respond to your texts
  • She rarely asks you questions
  • She barely replies to your questions

In short, if she isn’t investing in you.

If you’re the typical guy, your reaction to her cold shoulder is to try harder. And google phrases like: “How can I make her like me?”

Mistake.

Why should you be the one always putting in the effort?

Besides, can you even realistically make someone like you? I mean, make her like you for who you are deep down inside?

Not really.

You can make her feel more attracted to you, but that’s the ‘bodily’ type of liking.

Even if she’s willing to do the bedroom tango with you, she still may not actually like you in the long run!

And you know what’s the worst part?

The more time you spend on trying to make her like you, the more you’ll end up liking her.

Why?

Thanks to the sunk cost fallacy. A behavioral principle which basically says:

The more time and effort you invest in something, the harder it becomes to give up.

This fallacy drives businesses to continue bad investments… and it drives you to pursue unsuitable partners.

To summarize:

  1. Gauge if she’s interested in you
  2. If she isn’t interested, move on. Otherwise, apply what we saw in tip 4

#8: Why she canceled the date

I’m about to say something kind of scary.

Maybe she canceled the date, because…

She doesn’t like you very much.

Now, let me be clear.

I’m not talking about a girl who you’ve been on 10 dates with and seeing for 3 months.

I’m talking about the woman you met in a bar last weekend, or the girl you just met on Tinder who is being flakey.

Here’s the thing:

Stop blaming people for being flakey in those early stages.

Before I go on, I also used to take flakey behavior personally in the past.

But I stopped caring when I gave it some thought:

She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know what I have to offer. She doesn’t know how happy I could make her with my Pokémon collection.

How attracted she is to you is only a reflection of how she feels about you TODAY.

It’s not a reflection of how she feels about you 1, 2, or 3 months from now.

“Gotcha, Louis. I’mma try harder then and wear her down.”

No, bro. I’m not telling you to force her to like you.

All I want you to take away from this tip is the following.

Don’t take rejections and date cancellations personally when you’re still in the early stages of the dating phase.

Here comes the million-dollar question:

How do you know if you should give up on her, if she hasn’t seen everything you have to offer?

By understanding the difference between: energy and investment.

Investment = trying/effort

Energy = good vibes

Which means you can be low investment, while giving good vibes.

And that’s exactly what I want you to do when you’re unsure of what she thinks of you.

  • Transform questions into statements
  • Send her short clips and memes
  • Share funny but brief anecdotes about your life

All forms of low investment, but good vibes.

If she doesn’t reply in kind, no worries.

If she follows your lead, awesome. She’s interested and probably open to reschedule the date.

#9: How to reschedule the date

Remember the common texting mistake from tip #3?

Don’t instantly reschedule the date.

Although it makes sense—you feel like she’s slipping away and you don’t want to lose her—it’s best to wait a little before you ask her out again.

Plan the date too early and you’re essentially saying, “It’s okay if you cancel on me. I don’t mind and will just try to see you again later.”

So you’re acting a bit like a wuss.

And women don’t like to date wussies. Usually.

So how do you plan the next date without losing any attraction?

There’s no hard rule, but I can give you a good idea of the ideal time:

When she’s investing in the convo and showing signs that she likes you.

Such as:

  • Using lots of emojis
  • Laughing
  • Long texts
  • Multiple texts
  • Quick replies

Why is that a good time to go for the next date?

Because she’s having a good time with you.

And if she’s having a good time with you, she’s likely to want to see you in real life.

Simple stuff.

The hard part is probably figuring out how to get there, right?

Here’s three scenarios to get you going.

If she canceled the date on time

I’ll reply with something like:

Thanks for telling me in advance!

But you do know what you just did is illegal right

Uh… waddya mean?

Well, the law says: you flake, you buy Louis a steak. I’ll settle for a cold beer though

Hahaah, fine

If she cancels the date because she’s feeling sick

I see guys still trying to get her on a date.

This only shows you lack empathy or are needy.

Just be kind instead.

Hey… I’m not feeling very well and can’t see you tonight, sorry

I understand, take care

And here’s a fruit basket for you🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🍌🍍🥭 

Just be nice. If she likes you, postponing the date won’t matter.

If she canceled on the same day

This is were many guys get butthurt. Usually from negative experiences in the past.

But the truth is, you don’t know her reason since text is limited to just words.

I’ll reply something like:

Okay no worries, I hope everything’s okay with you!

As you see I don’t assume she’s sick of me… I assume she’s actually feeling ill. Or at least that something is going on.

Assuming negative intent on her part is always a sign you’re unconfident.

Then just wait for her to re-engage the convo.

From there, you do as usual. Well, the TextGod usual.

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#10: What to do if she constantly cancels the date

Has she canceled the date for the 3rd or 4th time?

Then it’s time to pull on the breaks and reflect:

“Why is she constantly canceling?”

First of all, if you’ve rescheduled multiple times, she was at least once attracted to you.

And still could be.

So her canceling the date is often NOT your fault.

Usually it’s some other reason:

  • Family troubles
  • She’s feeling under the weather
  • She’s unexpectedly busy
  • She was called ‘ugly’ and she still hasn’t let it go

That said, a girl isn’t likely to flake on someone who’s important to her.

I doubt she strings along her girlfriends and family.

Which means that a stronger connection leads to less flakes and more dates.

So one way to deal with constant date canceling is:

Upping your text game.

Get her addicted to your texts, and she won’t flake.

But that’s the long-term solution.

What can you do NOW?

  • Assume she likes you
  • Assume she wants to see you
  • Assume she doesn’t like to cancel the date (rejecting people is never fun)
  • Assume she’s going through a difficult time that requires her attention

Once your head is on straight, you can write the right text:

Chill, low-investment, and positive.

Which kind of puts the ball in her court. But if she’s the one flaking, that’s how it has to be.

Keeping it chill and fun, however, has one drawback.

Time.

You’re still replying and spending time and energy on this girl who isn’t particularly interested.

Which is never a good idea if she’s the only girl on your mind. Although it’s fine if you’re texting multiple.

Rather than telling you what to do, I want you to answer a question:

“How much time and energy are you willing to spend on a girl before seeing her?”

A couple of weeks, a few months, a year (which could be non-needy if she lives far away)?

Decide for yourself. Because only you know how valuable your time is and what you want to do with it.

Do keep in mind, the longer you keep the convo alive with low-investment texts, the better your textgame needs to be.

Because you need to hold her attention over the span of weeks.

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Enjoy, bro.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

For more tips, check out these articles:

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