12 Things to Do (and Text) When Your Date Gets Canceled

You had a date and it got canceled. Now you don’t know what to do.

Do you reschedule?

Do you find out why the date was canceled?

Do you act butthurt and scream?

By the end of the article, you’ll know exactly what to do when your date gets canceled and how to still see her.

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1. Send her this if she canceled the date on time

If she canceled the date one or more days in advance, she’s being cool and respectful of your time.

That needs to be rewarded.

Here’s how you can put a smile on her face AND put the next date on the calendar.

Thanks for telling me in advance!

But you do know what you just did is illegal right

Uh… waddya mean?

Well, the law says: you flake, you buy Louis a steak. I’ll settle for a cold beer though

Hahaah, fine

2. Keep the context in mind

This is what dictates your every move on how to respond to the date cancelation.

Your history.

Do you know her from real life? Have you already been on a date? Has she canceled before?

All extremely relevant questions that completely change what you should do next.

For instance.  If you’ve already hung out with her, there’s a higher level of trust between the two of you.

If she cancels the date now, you can trust that she’s legitimately busy.

Did she cancel your first date plans?

Then she may just not be ready to see you yet. So instead of rescheduling, it might be a good move to build more comfort and rapport first.

3. Seek to understand

This little nugget can save you a lot of trouble. And give you lots more dates in the future.

Always seek to understand.

Hey, something came up and I can’t make it tonight. Sorry!

Look, I get it. If she cancels last minute, it may seem like a dick move. Especially if you’ve carefully picked out your best outfit and are already on your way.

But something seriously could have happened that kept her from meeting up with you.

Maybe she had a family emergency, a work thing, or perhaps her doggo was looking so cute she had to pet it some more.

The reason doesn’t really matter.

What matters is that you don’t take it personally and show a little understanding.

Thanks for letting me know. Hope nothing bad happened


4. Give her room to invest

Careful. This can make her feel totally fine canceling on you so that she loses interest in seeing you again.

Being too available.

Remember: if she canceled the date, the onus is on her to make it up to you.

So don’t do all the work of rescheduling, give her some room to invest in you.

Take the next text you could send her:

OK, no problem! Let’s hang out next week Thursday instead 🙂

Is it horrible?

Not necessarily. It depends on how well you know her.

I’d totally send something like this to a girl who’s a good friend of mine.

But is she someone you’ve never met up with before? Then I’d highly recommend that you don’t instantly reschedule.

It may give her the impression that she can flake on you with impunity.

Show her that she has to invest in you if she wants to hang out with you.

Otherwise, she may take your kindness for granted.

5. Don’t take it personally

Even if the cancellation opens up old trauma, just let it go.

Don’t get all inquisitive and wonder why she flaked on you. Don’t get butthurt and throw a hissyfit.

Just show kindness and move on.

It’s probably not about you anyway.

Plus, nobody wants to date someone who is untrusting and insecure.

Seeking an explanation for why she canceled on you is never the right answer.

6. Be friendly if she cancels last minute

Have you never met her in person and did she flake on you at the last minute?

Then there’s only one thing you should do…

Be friendly.

And only friendly.

Okay no worries. Hope you’re doing okay 🙂

“But Louis, how does that text lead to the date?”

It doesn’t.

Well, not directly.

What you’re doing is putting the ball in her court and giving her a chance to show that she likes you.

Does she reciprocate your kindness?

Perhaps by sending you something like this:

Thanks for being so cool about it! Will talk more later

Then she’s clearly still interested. And that makes her a person you want to invest in.


7. Figure out if she still wants to see you

Here comes one of the trickiest parts of getting flaked on…

Did she flake because something actually came up, is she too afraid to speak up and reject you, or does she need to get to know you a little bit better before meeting up?

Excellent questions.

So how do you find out?


If she’s texting and replying (after canceling on you) she’s almost certainly interested in you.

Maybe not enough to meet up with you right now, but definitely interested.

Did she cancel on you and is she suddenly slow to respond to texts and adding very little to the conversation?

Then it’s likely she doesn’t want to see you. She’s just being polite.

8. Realize not all cancelations are the same

Many of the starting students of my Mentoring Program make this mistake.

They see date cancelations that aren’t even there.

Let me give you an example:

Hey, let’s do drinks at that bar I mentioned. I’m available Wednesday and Thursday evening

I can’t, I’m busy

That may seem like a rejection to some. And a date cancellation to others.

But her ‘busy’ text is neither.

She’s simply unavailable.

How do you come back from this ‘rejection’?

By sending her the next text:

Pssst… Now you say, “Luckily I am available on the next dates, Louis…”

(Obviously use your own name.)

If you lead with confidence, you’ll often see that women respond really well. Especially if you add in a dash of humor.

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9. Deflect the pain of rejection

Is someone you barely know repeatedly being flakey?

Stop giving a fuggg.

Look, I also used to take flakey behavior personally in the past.

But I stopped caring when I gave it some thought:

She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know what I have to offer. She doesn’t know how happy I could make her with my Pokémon collection.

How attracted she is to you is only a reflection of how she feels about you TODAY.

It’s not a reflection of how she feels about you 1, 2, or 3 months from now.

“Gotcha, Louis. I’mma try harder then and wear her down.”

No, bro. I’m not telling you to force her to like you.

All I want you to take away from this tip is the following.

Don’t take rejections and date cancellations personally when you’re still in the early stages of the dating phase.

10. Go for what’s good for you

Here comes some dating advice that will serve you for the rest of your life.

Suppose you’ve been daydreaming about this girl for weeks. Then you’ll probably do almost anything to make her excited to see you.

But that doesn’t mean that you should.

What should you do?

Chase what’s good for you, not what your penis tells you you want.

How do you recognize if she’s good for you?

If they’re investing in you.

In other words: if they’re curious, interested, and showing up.

Is she not doing any of the above?

Then you want to find yourself someone who does.

11. Reschedule the date like a pro

Don’t fall for the trap.

Although it makes sense to ask her out fast if you feel like she’s slipping away. It’s best to create some space before you ask her out again.

Give her a chance to take the initiative.

Doesn’t she try to reschedule?

No problem. Just get a fun conversation going and ask her out when she’s showing clear signs of interest.

12. Meeting up with a serial date canceler

Has she canceled the date for the 3rd or 4th time?

Then I want you to realize two things:

Firstly, it’s not your fault. She’s not going to keep rescheduling if she wasn’t interested in you in some way.

Buuuut… she’s also not making you a priority. I doubt she strings along her friends and family.

So what’s your best bet to see her?

Play the long game.

Stay fun and warm, while putting relatively little energy in the conversation until she turns around.

There’s just one big drawback.


You’re still replying and spending time and energy on this girl who isn’t particularly interested.

Which is never a good idea if she’s the only girl on your mind. Although it’s fine if you’re texting multiple.

Rather than telling you what to do, I want you to answer a question:

“How much time and energy are you willing to spend on a girl before seeing her?”

A couple of weeks, a few months, a year?

Decide for yourself. Because only you know how valuable your time is and what you want to do with it.

Do keep in mind, the longer you keep the convo alive with low-investment texts, the better your textgame needs to be.

Because you need to hold her attention over the span of weeks.

Does that sound difficult for you?

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Enjoy, bro.

Louis Farfields

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