How to Ask a Girl Out Online – Set Up Dates in 4 Steps

Do you want to know how to ask a girl out online?

In this article I’ll show you all the steps to ask a girl out successfully.

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1. Strike while the iron is hot

Here’s the most important thing to understand when asking a girl out online.

Ask her out if she’s having fun chatting with you.

Where most guys go wrong, is that they wait far too long before making their move. They can’t read her mind, so they keep talking, hoping to get a clear signal from her.

But because they text her for so long, she often loses interest. Instead of a lover, she now sees him as a pen pal.

If you want to get good at asking girls out online, it’s crucial that you learn to read her signals.

The more fun she’s having, the more ready she is to be asked out.

These are the most important signals to look for:

  • She uses more and more emojis and expressions of enjoyment (like hahaha, lol, or omg).
  • She’s asking you questions.
  • She sends more texts than you.
  • She double texts whenever you stay quiet for too long.

Do you want more signs to recognize if a girl is into you? Check out this article:

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2. Assume she wants to meet you

If you do this, most girls will love to be asked out by you.

Know your worth.

The typical guy sabotages his success when asking a girl out. Because when he goes to make his move, he’s too tentative. He might ask, “Would you like to go out for drinks sometime?”

It might not seem like a big deal on the surface. But it says a lot about how he views himself: he’s unsure if he’s good enough for her.

And that’s a huge turn-off.

A confident guy has no such doubts. He knows he can give her a great time, so he has no reason to be so insecure.

Sure, he might still get rejected. But instead of taking it personally, he sees it as a sign that she’s not ready yet. Or perhaps that they’re not a match.

In either case, the confident man knows he loses nothing by suggesting to meet up.

That’s why I want you to assume that she wants to be asked out by you.

Here’s an easy example.

Let’s grab a coffee this week. How’s Wednesday or Thursday for you??

Guys, as always context matters. If you tend to text more nicely and soft, a more confident date suggestion is likely better. Are you heavy on the teasing? Then asking her out more gently is probably the better move.

Either way, if her reaction depends on the phrasing of your meetup proposal, your flirting skills weren’t good enough.

8 Reasons Why She Texts… But Doesn’t Want to Hang Out!

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3. Suggest a chill activity

Hollywood has given us the wrong idea of how to ask a girl out. If you want good dates, I recommend doing this instead.

Keep your date simple and accessible.

In movies and shows, we typically see the guy take a girl out to an expensive restaurant or the movies. But when you’re meeting a girl for the first time, this is not the right approach.


Because the goal of a first date is to get to know each other a little. It’s to see if you guys have any chemistry. And that demands that you guys feel comfortable enough to make jokes, tease each other, and laugh.

Cinemas and fancy restaurants get in the way of fun banter. What promotes light-hearted conversation are casual activities that you can end at any moment.

Then you can decide just how long you want your date to be.

Here are some good examples of what I mean:

  • Drinks at a cocktail bar.
  • A walk in the park or on the beach.
  • Play games at a video arcade.
  • Visit a flea market.

It doesn’t sound spectacular and that’s the point. It doesn’t have to be, because the aim is to talk.

4. Make it exciting

Here’s how you can get girls excited when you ask them out.

Introduce the date with a little razzle-dazzle.

If you do it right, even inviting her out for coffee can sound like a fun idea. The magic is in the pitch.

Suppose you want to ask her out for coffee. A pretty normal way would be to send her a text that reads, “Hey, let’s go for a coffee this week”.

It’s not awful. But it doesn’t particularly sound like she’s in for a great time.

If you want to make it so that she can’t wait to meet you, amp up the emotions. I recommend highlighting the best part of your date suggestion or being a little playful.

Here are some ideas:

  • “I know this amazing coffee place that’s also a used bookstore”.
  • “I know the best place in town for caipirinhas. But I’m a bit of a lightweight, so you have to promise not to take advantage of me”.
  • “Let’s go to the park and feed the ducks. They’re my friends and are who you will need to impress”.

5. Suggest multiple calendar dates

Ever wondered what to do if she rejects your date suggestion? This tip will answer your question once and for all.

Firstly, you always want to suggest two calendar dates when asking her out.

If you only give her one option with every attempt, the odds are against you. And if she turns down several of your date requests, it sucks out all the fun of your conversation.

If you want to avoid the problem altogether, you’re better off giving 2 possible times.

“But what if she rejects these options too, Louis???”

Great question! Then you send her this text to solve all your problems.

This is the time that you tell me when you are available, you fruit cup 😉

6. Avoid the word ‘date’

You are probably really excited to ask her out on a date. But here’s the problem:

The word date sounds kinda heavy. It suggests you’re incredibly serious and are already hearing wedding bells.

Although she might still choose to meet you, the word ‘date’ will almost certainly make her feel a bit uncomfortable.

Ask her out for a fun, carefree time instead.

The first time you take her out, you’re not planning to put a ring on her finger but to see if you can have a good time together.

So that’s exactly what you want to communicate when you ask her out.

  • “Let’s go for some cocktails and watch the sunset”.
  • “I know this amazing duck pond, let’s see whose bread they like the most”.
  • “Do you know <particular coffee place>? Best coffee in the city. Let’s get a flat white there”.

7. Make it fun

If you’re not careful, planning the date can kill all the fun and make her lose her interest.

That’s why you want to keep the vibe fun as you ask her out.

When discussing the time and place for the date goes on for too long, the flame of interest can easily fizzle out.

Instead of a good time, the conversation almost feels like a negotiation.

That’s why you need to be vigilant and protect the fun. Make jokes, post some funny memes or cute cat reels, and overall: be mindful of the vibe.

As long as she’s experiencing positive emotions, you’ll hold her interest.

Ask any girl out in 4 steps

Next, I’ll describe how to go from Hi to meeting up.

Step 1: Make yourself stand out

It’s really simple: if she doesn’t see your value, she won’t be interested.

That’s why your first goal is to show your worth.

  • Jokingly break the connection by teasing her.
  • Playfully express self-love so that you seem confident.
  • Be curious without being bought in.

If you don’t know what texts to send and want some great examples, I recommend this article:

Step 2: Build trust

It doesn’t matter if she thinks you’re hot, if she doesn’t trust you, she won’t meet up with you.

Build trust so she’ll feel comfortable going out with you.

Here are three ways to make her feel more safe with you.

  • Ask her questions.
  • Share personal stories about yourself.
  • Create a sense of togetherness by using the words ‘we’ and ‘us’.

Step 3: Get her excited about meeting you

She won’t be excited to see you until you do this.

Subtly show sexual interest. Without it, you’ll just be a guy who can make her laugh. But if you can also make her feel desired, then you’ll set off fireworks in her brain.

There’s nothing that women find more enticing than a cool guy who is into them.

Here are some lines you can use:

  • [When she compliments you] “You’re such a player. I bet you say that to all the guys ;)”.
  • [When she’s sending you walls of text] “You’re so falling for me! It’s cute”.
  • [When she asks you about work] “I’m considering starting a full time Only Fans career”.

For more ways on how to flirt, check this article:

Step 4: Ask her out via text

The final step.

Suggest a fun, simple activity for your first date.

Keep your invitation direct but casual:

  • “Let’s go to a flea market and find silly outfits for each other.”
  • “I’m going to take you to one of my favorite spots in town. You’ll love it.”
  • “Since you’re into art, I know of a free art exhibition we can go to this weekend.”

How to ask a girl out online – Conclusion

Asking a girl out typically involves 4 steps:

  1. Acting like the prize.
  2. Being trustworthy.
  3. Getting them excited about seeing you.
  4. Planning the date.

If you get the first 3 steps right, the last step is easy. So if you often struggle to get good reactions when you ask a girl out, you’re probably messing up the earlier steps.

To help you get that stage right, I have a gift for you: my TextGood Toolkit.

Inside you’ll find the most powerful tools to seduce women online. Including my 10 Texts That Always Work, the icebreaker that never fails, and my most powerful texting technique of all, The Personality Slice.

Click the big button below to get it all in your inbox right now. Then you can start asking girls out with great success right away.


Louis Farfields

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