When She Texts First: What It Means & How to Text Back

It’s finally happened, she sent you the first message.

You’re excited, but perhaps also a little confused and anxious. What does it even mean when she texts first? And what’s the best way to respond?

I’ve got your back.

In today’s article, you’ll get the most common reasons why she texted you first. And the best ways to hold her interest.

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What does it mean when a girl texts first?

This part isn’t rocket science.

When a girl texts you first it means she’s interested. Perhaps because you made a good first impression or maybe because she thinks you’re smart and she wants your help with her homework assignment.

But to start, let’s go over the most common explanations for why she makes the first move.

1. She wants your help

This can be a bit challenging to understand.

If her text has a request, like asking you a question or a favor, don’t read into it.

Yes, it might be a sneaky way for her to express her romantic feelings. But don’t assume that. Because if you start thinking she likes you and you later discover she doesn’t, it’s going to break your heart.

So answer her question or request first, and subtly flirt with her later. If she answers your flirty messages in kind, then she’s probably interested in being more than pals.

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

2. She thinks you’re fun

Just like you, girls get bored. And if she initiated contact, it might mean that she thinks you’re a flippin’ great time. That’s perfect. You definitely have some game.

I completely understand though if being fun/funny isn’t easy.

That’s why I wrote this article for inspiration.

3. She’s going back to memory lane

If she reached out first after forever and a day, this is why.

Ever think about the good ol’ days?

So do girls. A LOT.

Women especially like to reminisce about old pals and former lovers. Do the two of you have a history? Then she misses you a little. Or at the very least, she remembers that you used to have fun and is reliving old memories.

Would you be interested in seeing her again? If so, keep it playful and suggest catching up.

Here’s a sweet little article I wrote on this exact topic.

4. She thinks you’re attractive

Be honest: YOU love texting someone you think is hot and getting a response.

Guess what…so do women.

So if a girl thinks you’re TextGod’s gift to women in terms of beauty, she’s much more likely to message you first. She wants your attention.

5. She trusts you

This is an often overlooked reason that she texts you first.

If she never or rarely texts you first, you may not think you’re very close. And perhaps you’re not. But if she’s delving into deep stuff, it might mean that she trusts you and feels safe with you.

Which is great. Trust is a massive component to any great relationship or friendship.

So excellent work on being a great guy!

6. She wants to tell you something interesting

Girls love to talk.

And when you’re a cool, fun guy that she likes, then she’ll want to talk to you all the time.

ESPECIALLY when it’s something interesting. It could be a dramatic story at work, something fun she did this weekend, or that she’s trying that perfect waffle house you mentioned.

It’s her way of staying connected to you.

7. She’s into you

Most guys don’t understand the difference, but it’s essential you do.

Being attracted to someone and being into someone are not the same! The latter is a step above.

So when a girl is flirting and interested in you, yes, she finds you attractive, but she also feels stuff and is probably daydreaming a little about you.

She wants your attention and she’s hoping you want hers.

So that’s why she messages first.

When to reply

Please STAHHPPPPP following this type of texting advice.

Being a strategically slow texter. It doesn’t work.

No more “I should wait 3 days to text back” or “I should wait 2 hours to text her back so I seem mysterious.” This is just playing games, and if you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Or no prizes at all.

Here’s how long you should wait after she texts first. At the very minimum, message her back within 24 hours, but ideally faster than that.

Now, does that mean you’re urgently rushing to send her a message as soon as she texts? Also no. You don’t want to come across as an eager beaver. So treat it like a reply from a buddy: fast, but not mega excited fast.

If you need some more solid advice on this, quadruple-click this article link below.

What to say

Did she text you first and do you like her? Then your reply has only one goal…

…to hold her attention. And the best way to keep her glued to your conversation is by:

  • Using the right tone of voice. Strike a healthy balance between playful and chill.
  • Sending emotional texts. Banter is your best friend.
  • Making your messages easy for her to reply to.

Did she just begin the conversation? Here’s a playful reply that perfectly checks the boxes:

“I bet you say that to all the guys, playa. 😉 Haha just kidding. What’s up?”

I know you’re dying for more examples. That’s why I wrote the next article.

How to get her to text first more often

Here are the simplest steps to get her to text you first more often.

1. Match her level of investment

An easy way to get her to text you first more often is this.

Mirror her texts.

Same timing. Same length. And the same height of emotion.

If she’s super excited, you want to be equally excited. But do always keep in mind that you want to let her play the more feminine and emotional role.

Just like you like women for their femininity, women like men for their masculinity.

By mirroring, you’re both investing an equal amount of time and energy into the conversation.

This guarantees that you’re not over- or understimulating her.

2. Suggest she likes you

A great way to start the interaction is by suggesting she’s the one who’s into you. Reverse the roles. That way you’ll seem super chill and confident.

Two traits that most women love in men.

But how do you actually pull this off in a text conversation?

Suppose she invites you over text to meet up. Whether it’s with friends or just the two of you. As an example, you could reply:

Sounds fun. But only if you promise not to get TOO handsy with me.


Alrighttt finnneee. But just so you know, I don’t put out on the first date. I’m a classy lady. 💅

3. Lead things forward

If you’re into this girl, it’s important to express some level of interest.

Don’t hide it or else you’ll just end up in the friend zone. If you want to date her, you need to express your interest in her without obsessing over her.

Because what turns a girl off isn’t that you like them, it’s that you need them.

That’s why you want to show her both your interest and independence.

So as you’re being curious about her, you also want to make her curious about you by living your life.

Is she not as interested as you want her to be? Then you want to give your attention to someone who is.

What does it mean when she texts first – Summary

If she’s texting you first it can mean lots of different things. And it all depends on context. Is she a colleague, a classmate, an old friend, or someone you recently met at a party?

Usually, the story of how you met explains what she wants from you.

But in case it’s still unclear, there’s only one way to find out her intentions.

Subtly flirt with her. By inviting her to a play with you over text, you can find out if she’s open to banter with you.

And she almost certainly won’t be unless she’s open to being your friend or lover.

Is she receptive to your flirt attempts? Then you want to make your conversation a little more sexual, by introducing the idea of romance or seduction.

If she also responds well to this seductive vibe, she almost certainly like-likes you.

All this talk about subtle flirting might be new to you though. And, thus, quite challenging.

To make it easier for you to seduce her, I want to give you my best texting lines and techniques.

Click the big shiny button below and you’ll get my 10 Texts That Always Work. Plus, my most powerful texting technique of all, The Personality Slice.

Check it out now and make her interested in you today.


Louis Farfields

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