Someone you know and like is having a rough time.
And you want to cheer them up.
That’s why you’re about to get 15 ways to make someone feel better over text.In this article:More...
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How do you make someone feel better over text?
Making someone feel better over text rarely involves putting on your Fix-It hat or telling them to look at the bright side.
When someone’s facing hardships, all they really want is a friend. That’s why the best way to make someone feel better over text is to simply be there when they need you.
Show kindness and listen to what they have to say.
Even if their situation stays the same, your support will make them feel cared for.
And that’s how you make someone feel better.
1. Empathize with them
Here’s how you make someone feel better who’s going through a rough patch.
Show understanding of their situation.
And a good way to do that is by putting yourself in their shoes.
Sure, you might be off with your assumption. But that’s not a problem. After all, emotions are complex and many are similar.
More importantly, trying to look at it from their perspective shows that you’re paying attention and trying to understand them.
Was your hunch totally off?
Your friend will most likely clarify what’s actually going on and happily continue the conversation because they’re being listened to.
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2. Understand the importance of it all
Here’s how you can make them feel like you know them better than anyone.
Understand how important it is for them.
Sounds a bit vague, right?
Let me explain using the next two situations. Please compare the two:
- Someone had to close down their restaurant after a year.
- Someone had quit their job and used all their savings to start a restaurant, betting their entire future on the success of their new business. Only to lose it all.
One describes the facts, the other describes the emotional weight of the situation.
If you can show that you understand why the situation is hitting them so hard, they’ll feel truly understood and cared for.
Now your text goes from a simple routine check-in to support from a true friend.
3. Make them laugh
It’s not all doom and gloom.
If it’s a minor inconvenience, make them laugh.
- Recall an inside joke.
- Make light of the situation with a meme or gif.
- Send them video that had you roaring with laughter.
- Go completely over the top with the potential consequences of their situation.
But be careful only to make them laugh if you know they’ll appreciate it.
Do you not really know the person you’re trying to cheer up?
Keep your text polite and caring.
4. Offer to talk on the phone
One of the most thoughtful and easy ways to reach out to a friend in the dumps is to offer to talk over the phone.
Why is a phone call so good at making someone feel better?
Because it shows you’re willing to invest your time and attention in the other person.
A text is low-effort.
You can type one up in a few seconds with one hand, while your other hand shoves a Quarter Pounder down your gullet.
But a phone call shows you’re willing to hit ‘pause’ on your life and place someone else’s needs ahead of yours.
Your concern is legit.
5. Keep it easy going
Do not make the next mistake.
Giving them another task for their to-do list.
Yes, letting someone know you’re thinking about them is an act of kindness.
But it can also make them feel overwhelmed, by having to respond to your text and explaining what’s going on.
And they already have enough on their plate right now.
So know who you’re dealing with.
Do you think they’re in a place where they’d like to reach out and talk? Or do you think they’d rather be alone and supported from afar right now?
If you think they need space and care, give it to them like this.
6. Believe in them
There’s nothing worse than going through a bad time and discovering that everybody thinks you can’t handle it.
So don’t do that to them.
Instead of throwing a pity party, make them feel empowered.
7. Compliment them
An often overlooked method to make someone feel better over text.
Compliment them for doing a good job.
Are they dealing with difficult times like a baws?
Let them know!
8. Share something constructive
Doing this often does more harm than good.
When someone’s going through a rough patch, we intuitively want to share our own similar experience as if to say:
“I know what you’re going through.”
But this actually invalidates your friend’s experience.
Yes, your experience can make them feel less alone. But it can also come across as dismissive by trying to make it all about you.
Instead of making it seem like you’re trying to one-up them, give them the perspective of an expert instead.
IMPORTANT: Be sure it’s actually a good article before sending it to them. If you think it may belittle their experience in some way, keep it to yourself and find something better.
If they’re still in the feeling phase, as opposed to the problem-solving phase, don’t try to give them any advice.
Just be there for them in whatever way they like.
9. Make them smile
Although laughter is (sort of) the best medicine, make sure your friend is at a place where they’re ready for laughter.
Sending them a meme right after they lost all their savings to a bad Bitcoin investment is just bad taste.
So wait for them to process the bad events a little.
Once the DEFCON 1 phase has gone by, you can send them something funny.
IMPORTANT: Do your best to find a meme, clip or TikTok that matches your friend’s sense of humor.
For more on how to make someone smile, check out my next video:
10. Ask what’s on their mind right now
Sometimes it’s not clear what type of support a friend who’s down on his or her luck needs.
In these times you can wager a guess and send them a card or some flowers.
Which won’t hurt.
But if you really want to be the best friend you can be, ask them how’d they’d like to be supported.
That way you have the greatest chance of making them feel better.
Never forget: no one is the same in how they deal with hardships.
Some might want hugs and to talk about it, other people prefer to bottle it down until they die of a stress-induced stroked at 44.
11. Ask what you can do
If your friend is really in a dire situation, just offering them a shoulder to lean on may not be enough.
They may need something more practical.
Suppose they just lost their job and they can’t afford to put their kid in daycare.
Perhaps what that person could use most in this situation is a babysitter. Right?
So if someone you know is going through something life-changing, ask them what they need.
If you have a better idea of their situation, try offering a suggestion.
12. Tell them it’s okay
Some situations are unfixable.
- A breakup.
- Losing your apartment.
- The death of a loved one.
In these situations, there’s really not much to fix.
And that’s okay. But you can make them feel better over text.
The best you can do in these situations is let them know that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling.
Does it fix anything?
But it does make them feel cared for and it can also boost their confidence.
13. Let them decide how much to share
Everyone is different.
Some people feel better by sharing every little detail they can.
While others feel like a burden by only hinting at their own emotional instability.
So when trying to make someone feel better over text, don’t force a therapy session.
Instead, let them decide on what’s healthy to share.
It’s them who ultimately have the power to fix their situation.
So let them decide on the approach.
14. The best way to make someone feel better over text
The scariest part of going through a tough time is feeling like you’re going through it alone.
Even if no one really understands your situation, having people know you’re at least going through a situation already makes things much easier.
So if someone is going through a scenario so unique and crazy that you find it hard to wrap your head around, tell them this:
15. Help them get into action mode
I left this tip for last because it’s the most controversial.
Sometimes a person’s bad mood stems from a very old or relatively insignificant event.
And they either can’t let old pain go, or they’re making mountains out of molehills.
Even worse, they’re too busy feeling bad to get out of their funk.
If that’s the case, you actually DON’T want to validate their feelings because then you’ll likely give them the idea their victim mentality is fine.
Instead of hearing your friend out, you want to get them into action mode.
These texts keep your friend from drowning in their self-made sorrows and propels them forward.
These were the 15 ways to make someone feel better over text.
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