You’ve got a bit of a crush on someone. Perhaps it’s a match from an online dating app or someone from your social circle.
But one thing about them particularly bothers you.
You don’t get why they give you short and/or slow replies!
Well, no more. Because when you finish this article, you’ll know exactly why you’re not getting the responses you want. And what you can do to fix it.In this article:More...
What does it mean when you get short and/or slow replies?
A person’s texting habits can definitely give you an idea of their current mood. But that’s hugely dependent on the setting and person.
Work-related messages will typically show less emotion than those sent to a friend or lover.
And certain people are by nature ‘cold’ texters. They might prefer to speak face to face, than stay glued to their screen all day.
So here’s the most important thing to keep track of:
What’s their ‘normal’ and did their texting habits change over time?
If someone used to quickly write you paragraphs decorated with emojis and “lols” and later started responding with one-word replies every few days…
…that’s a good reason to think they aren’t as interested in speaking to you.
And why might that be?
- You’ve turned them off.
- You’ve upset them.
- You’re just not that important to them.
- They’re going through something personal.
Obviously, you can only control your actions. That’s why we’re going to look at the most typical texting blunders that turn off women. Plus, how to fix them.
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What to do if you get short and slow replies?
If it looks like someone is pulling back, take a break from texting and assess the situation.
Short and slow replies don’t feel good. But perhaps it’s a fluke and the situation isn’t all that bad yet.
The moment you need to do damage control is when it’s been a long time since you received a meaningful text.
So go over your conversation and see how long ago you last received a good sign of interest.
If you receive short and slow replies, should you do the same?
If they’re pulling away, matching their disinterest will likely sever your connection completely. So you never want to go tit for tat right away.
Your best first option is to give them enough space to make them wonder about you.
Anywhere from 3 – 7 days depending on your situation. Be patient. Did they not get back to you in the meantime?
Then it’s time to try to reignite the spark with a good message. But to know what that looks like, you need to know if you contributed to their disinterest first.
After all, you can’t fix a problem without knowing what caused it.
So check out if you’re guilty of one of the next 9 unattractive texting habits. If you are, then I’ll tell you how to reclaim her attention.
9 Texting habits that lead to short and slow replies
1. You ask too many questions
Most people think seduction is about getting to know someone. And what better way to do that than by asking questions?
But that sets you up for disaster.
Because asking her questions over and over again is anti-seductive. It’s what a therapist or her grandma might do.
So if you try to seduce her through holding an interview, she’ll quickly lose her attraction for you.
Just check the next Tinder conversation to give you an idea of what I mean. And while you’re reading, ask yourself, “Would I enjoy answering these questions?”
Did reading these questions make you feel excited? If you’re like most people, HELL to the NO!
So it makes perfect sense that the girl from the screenshot is answering with one-word replies.
Change your questions to statements.
Using one of the questions from the earlier convo, we get this.
- “Wbu? Got any classes today?”
- “You look like a mega geek. So I bet you’re going to classes today you’re not even signed up to ;)”
Asking questions obviously isn’t forbidden. Just don’t do it all the time. And when you do, make sure they’re good.
2. You’re being needy
There’s no bigger turn-off for women than needy behavior. And women are experts at spotting it.
So if she’s suddenly replying slowly with short texts, you’ve probably shown too much needy behavior.
Let me give you a Tinder example and see if you can spot the neediness yourself. I’ll give you the answer later.
Reading this conversation gives me third-degree cringe. And it probably felt awkward to you too.
But could you spot the needy messages?
Here’s what he did wrong:
- He adds “hahas” to his message like sitcom writers use laugh tracks. Making him seem insecure.
- He’s fishing for compliments by asking why she swiped him.
- He got butthurt when she didn’t show more interest.
What’s the solution?
Only text when you’re in a good mood and upgrade your seduction skills.
Women on dating apps aren’t out to make you look like a fool. They’re just looking for a cool guy they can have fun with.
Check my next article on how to become the guy who every girl likes to chat with.
3. You’re pretending to be nice
The next reason for her short and slow replies is super common and mega unattractive.
You probably even know this ugly behavior, because it inspired its own subculture.
Yes, I’m talking about the ultimate nice guy.
“Louis, this is insulting. Are you implying I’m as bad as a neckbeard?”
No, my dearest reader. I have much higher hopes for you. But if I’m going to be 169% honest, most men speak almost fluent Neckbeardian.
And you might too. What do I mean by that?
Let’s show you with a screenshot:
(The guy is grey, the girl is purple.)
This guy called her a babe and then a bitch within 4 texts. What does that tell us about ‘Fedora’? (I LOVE how she gave him that nickname.)
That despite his affectionate nickname for his online dating match, he didn’t care about her at all.
So why did he call her ‘babe’? In hopes of getting some affection back from her!
In short, he was trying to manipulate his way into being liked.
And that’s precisely what I want to warn you against because that’s a common male seduction tactic.
“Maybe if I call her beautiful, she’ll like me.”
“Maybe if I buy her a fancy dinner and flowers, she’ll make out with me.”
It’s super shady. Scratch that, it’s manipulation. And that’s plain ol’ bad.
Plus, women will see through your fake gestures for what it really is.
No wonder she replies slowly over text.
4. You’re not leading the conversation
A hugely popular Reddit joke is ruining your online success with women. Even if you never use it.
Because it’s not so much the joke that turns off women, but the mentality behind it.
Let’s check out what harmful ‘knee-slapper’ I’m talking about:
The guy from the grey text bubbles was setting up the classic and awful joke, “My back is hurting… from carrying this conversation.” The lady in blue saw it coming from a mile away and called out his punchline.
At this point, our bro tried to recover by saying he has arthritis.
The joke isn’t where this conversation went wrong. The convo died long before then.
Judging from the woman’s brief texts, the two had a mind-numbingly boring conversation.
A conversation where the guy probably asked a ton of Yes/No questions. And more importantly, gave very little direction to the conversation.
Which brings me to my point:
Just because you’re texting, doesn’t mean you’re doing a good job of seducing her.
If you want to make her interested in you, small talk isn’t enough. You want to send a bouquet of emotion tickling texts.
Because if you don’t, she’ll reply slowly, answer in short texts, or not respond at all.
BONUS: The 10 texts that always work
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Consider the next stressful moments:
- She sent you a text you just don’t know the answer to
- She keeps asking you boring questions that will ruin the vibe
- You see that she’s interested, but you don’t know how to ask her out
- She didn’t reply and you don’t want to scare her off
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could look up exactly what to say?
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5. You’re being creepy
Suppose you have a crush on a girl from school.
Every class she sits in the same seat. And maybe you’ve even seen her at a couple of parties. But instead of saying hi, you fantasize about her.
After the hundredth fantasy, you decide it’s time to actually hang out in person.
So you ask around for her name. One guy tells you all about her and gives you her number.
Although she has no clue who you are, you write her a detailed text and hit send:
What’s wrong with this series of texts?
Where do I start…
- She has no idea who you are. This means you went out of your way to find out about her and basically stalked her from the shadows. Ick!
- You introduce yourself and ask her out in the SAME text. Which screams low standards and needy behavior.
The text has more unattractive behaviors, but I’ll let those slide.
Let’s return to you.
Perhaps you’d never text a complete stranger. Great! But maybe you would text your crush from school or work, whose number you have from a work assignment.
Which is almost as bad.
She gave out her number to discuss work. Not because she was interested in you romantically.
So by texting her casually, you’re invading her privacy.
“But Louis, how can I date her if I’m not allowed to text her?”
I never said you can’t date her, bro.
If you do want to text your crush out of the blue, without scaring her off…
Keep the conversation fun and light. Just like you would on Tinder.
If she shows signs that she likes you, continue. If not, break it off and find another crush.
Try and always keep work and romance separated.
If things turn awkward, you may hurt your career and/or lose your job. Not worth it.
Especially when you can meet thousands of other beautiful girls using dating apps.
Check out my Tinder Beginner’s Guide to get at least 1 date per week.
6. You’re treating her like a princess
A big reason why girls reply slowly or send short texts is because…
…you’re chasing her like she’s the $24 million jackpot of the Powerball.
You can probably understand why that’s a turn-off. But let me explain so that I know we’re on the same page.
Putting a girl on a pedestal is unattractive because you’re putting yourself beneath her. And women want to be with a man who they can look up to and respect.
“Louis, this all makes perfect sense. But how does she even get the idea that I’m placing her above me?”
What’s the answer? The way you text!
Let’s look at the next screenshot of a man who’s clearly too impressed by the girl he’s messaging (the grey texts):
Can you feel how low-value this dude is?
- He doesn’t trust that he has the right number, so he asks for confirmation
- He explains in detail who he is and also turns into an excited puppy when she replies :))
- He asks her out and laughs away the nerves. Plus, he gives her two shallow compliments (while using poor grammar)
- He gets left on read and doesn’t take the hint.
Let’s imagine how a man of high value would act in this scenario:
See the difference?
The man from our imagination got the same question, but he playfully turned it into a tease and subtracted 5 imaginary points. Then he didn’t ask her out, because he wasn’t sure about her feelings towards him.
If you’re too easily impressed by her, you’re not seeing your own value.
7. You broke #1 of the 13 rules of texting
Almost all guys who text women are guilty of this…
Sending texts that add nothing to the conversation.
Although the next texts are fine as part of a series of messages. They’re terrible as a stand-alone message. Texts like:
They give her no direction. This means that she has to rack her brain to come up with a new fun subject to talk about.
Now your odds of getting a reply shrink, because it might be too much effort for her to come up with something. Get it?
So if you want her to reply, you need to send texts that cost almost zero effort to answer.
How do you know if your texts are easy to answer?
By trying to answer them yourself.
For texting rules 2 through 13, check out my awesome video:
8. You didn’t make a good impression
If you’ve met her in person, it may not be your texts that are the problem but your real-life interaction.
Maybe you simply weren’t vibing. And yes, that can happen even if you feel like you had great chemistry.
After all, it takes two to tango.
So what could you have possibly done to get short or slow replies?
- You’re simply not her type.
- You talked like a therapist, rather than a potential lover.
- You were too eager and placed her on a pedestal.
- You didn’t have the guts to go for the kiss when the moment was there, and now the magic is gone.
- You were extremely nervous. Perhaps you fired off question after question to fill up the silence.
- You made inappropriate remarks that offended her.
- You only talked about yourself, so you didn’t give her a chance to feel a connection.
- She’s not in the mood for a relationship or dating.
9. You’re too sensitive
Perhaps you’re making mountains out of molehills.
When you reread your conversation, you see short and slow replies and feel like she’s snubbing you. But maybe her texts are perfectly fine considering her circumstances.
What was going on in her life when she sent you those short and slow texts?
- Was she having a rough day?
- Was she at a party or festival?
- Was she on a holiday in an exotic country?
If so, you’re probably making a big deal out of nothing.
In these cases, sending slow and short replies is totally normal. After all, who wants to stare at their mobile phone if they’re at a party or hiking through the Amazonian jungle?
So do me a favor and answer the next question:
“Is your crush texting in a way that’s different from usual? And if so, for how long?”
If her texts are clearly different than normal, she MAY be turning you the cold shoulder. But if that new, cold behavior has only been going on for 1 or 2 days, you have no reason to worry.
She’s probably busy. And you’re making a fuss over nothing.
So what do you do if your crush gives you less attention?
You focus on yourself.
- Hit the gym.
- Cross off century-old tasks from your to-do list.
- Hang out with friends.
Anything to get your mind off your crush. Because most likely, you’re being overly needy.
Another thing you can do to distract yourself is level up your text game.
So that when your crush gives you her full attention, you can blow her away with your hilarious wit and set a date.
And if that’s not enough to satisfy your textgame needs, you know where to find me.
Until next time, bro.
And don't forget your download below ;)