Everyone around you is proudly telling you their experiences under the sheets.
Your friends regularly walk hand in hand with women.
They also jokingly ask you about your adventures.
But you… you have never had sex.
Yikes, I can feel your unease or frustration in those moments. And I also remember them from my past.
Let me help you shut your friends up:
- How to make sex for the first time easy in 9 tips
- How you as a virgin can easily talk about sex
- Flirt sentences for WhatsApp (+ screenshot)
- The answer to that big question you’ve been wondering about: “Should I tell her I’ve never had sex?”
- How to make sex for the first time good.
- Pick up lines to get women excited
- And much more rocket fuel towards your first time…
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating... but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it's completely free and easy to use.
How to deal with the fact that you’ve never had sex
There are probably all sorts of things going through your mind:
- Crap, all my buddies have had a girlfriend
- Or all my friends have been in bed with a woman before
- Or I’m left behind, because I’m trying to have sex for the first time in my 20s, 30s, 40s.
Maybe you also think you are obligated to tell the woman you’re dating.
Should you even tell her?
And probably you don’t know what to do when the intimate subject of sex is being discussed. How do you participate in that conversation?
Such a shame, of course, that all these thoughts are stopping you from getting that first lovely girl.
So this is important for your mindset:
Don’t judge yourself. Everyone has something they’re not so proud of. Others might be sick, insecure, or have a trauma.
We don’t share things like that with each other easily. So realize that while you are aware of your problems, you aren’t aware of other people’s problems!
But you know what, you’re not the only one who has this problem. It’s quite normal to be a virgin at a later age.
But tips are always welcome of course!
So let’s get started with the first tip.
Tip #1: How to part from your virginity once and for all
Do you shy away when the topic of conversation goes to sex?
Understandable. Especially if you’ve been a virgin for longer than you’d hoped. The shame just starts building up.
Maybe you think you’ll be the only person to die a virgin.
And if the pressure you put on yourself gets higher and higher, you may start to form insecurities around it.
That’s why I’m going to share with you exactly how to make being a virgin not such a big deal anymore.
We’re going to use the kindest and most effective savior in seduction.
Maybe it already caught your attention when you were watching our YouTube videos…
Can you guess?
We make a whole lot of jokes…
We make seducing women one big pile of fun. Because humor is the fundament upon which you seduce women.
You want to apply this principle if you’ve never had sex.
Be silly about it, as much as you possibly can.
Make so many jokes that people kind of forget whether you’re actually a virgin or not..
It doesn’t matter at all that you’ve never had sex.
Except, if YOU make your virginity an awkward thing, then you’ll make everyone else feel the same way. You want to prevent that. Because then the other will find your nervousness a hindrance.
So, do joke about your first time.
You’ll notice that because you joke about it, people will think the opposite is true.
This helps you create a vibe, in which sex is not a taboo.
By making jokes about yourself, you take away any hold your virginity has on you.
It’s also the case in general that if you make fun of yourself, you can silence the voice in your head.
In the next tip I will give you a hand full of sentences to use to eliminate your insecurities.
But first, the question that reaches my inbox on a daily basis:
Tip #2: “I’ve never done it before. Should I tell her?”
I get this question in my inbox on a regular basis.
The answer is simple:
It’s better not to tell her.
Let me sketch a situation for you: You haven’t known her for very long and you land in bed together after a Tinder date or a night out.
Put yourself in her shoes.
By telling her something like that this early on, you’re dumping a shitload of pressure on her shoulders:
- “Is this going to be special enough for his first time?”
- “Am I good enough for him?”
- “Is he going to be any good or am I going to have a mediocre experience?”
- “Is he going to fall in love with me immediately?”
- “I’m not looking for a boyfriend, but he surely wants to lose his virginity in a relationship.”
She gets in her head and makes all sorts of assumptions about your situation.
You probably share this personal fact because you want to be honest and make a deeper connection.
Since you’re both involved in this situation, you want to share it with her out of some idea of connection.
But trust me, you’re just putting loads of pressure on her by telling her ‘this is my first time’.
I’m talking about situations in which you’ve just met and you’re like “let’s get this over with”
If it’s a situation in which she’s already your girlfriend, you’ve been dating for some weeks and you really like her.
Then she won’t be shocked or make false assumptions. Then it’s fine to tell her.
But in shorter situations, tell her afterwards. Or after a certain period. Then she’ll be all surprised and probably say:
“Oh, you should have told me that.”
But believe me. You should not have said that.
Tip #3: Sexy pick up lines for if you’ve never been intimate
Now you know. Don’t tell her you’ve never had sex, but…
… then what are good sentences you should tell her if the subject of sex is breached in your romance?
Because, in the end there will be a moment that you’re going to talk about sex with a woman. Perhaps she’ll ask you about sexual experiences…
What do you do then?
What you don’t want to do is stutter like Harry Potter in his latest 9-hour film. They’ll nickname you Harry Stutter…
Instead, approach the situation with humor. Get it? 😉
Use flirty lines like:
“I hope that tonight I’ll finally lose my virginity… (in a club)”
“Oeh, I’ve never done ‘it’ before, these are going to be the best 30 seconds of your life (at a date).”
“I’m afraid I’ll be a virgin until the day I die, since I have a micro penis.”
“I’m saving myself for someone special, only she may take my cherry.”
“You must marry me first, or there will be no sex. Oh, you’re getting arroused? Well you’d better put a ring on it first ;)”
Make as many jokes as possible about your virginity.
These sentences will help you a lot in general when it comes to flirting.
Even if you’re not a virgin.
Because people will think you aren’t a virgin and have experience.
And if you have trouble remaining calm when the sexual tension boils up above your ears, then be sure to read the next tip.
Tip #4: How to make interactions sexual
How to deal with that sexual attraction?
As you slowly start to become more intimate in the conversation and it’s slowly approaching ‘the bedroom’ stop. Then you bet ya that you’ll feel a lot of sexual tension.
As a virgin, you may think there’s something ‘wrong’ when you feel this.
As if you’re not allowed to express it, as if you as a man are ‘taking’ something or that you’re ‘using’ her, or that you’re too inexperienced to fully enjoy it.
Unfortunately, a lot of men still have some shame about this.
They have an overly extreme modesty when it comes to sexuality. It’s important to respect her and to think win-win. At the same time, it’s important to let yourself enjoy sexual energy.
It’s absolutely key to give yourself the following permission:
Let’s repeat that together:
Yea, hmmm, lovely.
There’s nothing wrong with sexuality.
Sexuality is literally the reason that you’re here now, able to read this blog.
It’s not nice to think about the fact that your parents had sex… and how they did it… 😉
But it’s because they did that you’re here now.
So give yourself permission to experience this natural phenomenon.
You can do this through small, subtle things.
For example, if you go out and flirt with a woman.
Now you’re getting closer.
A good way to let the energy start flowing freely is by smelling her hair. It may sound strange, but it’s a very normal way to release some lust in yourself.
You’ll start feeling that you want her in a very primal way. So will she.
Enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Of course, you must respect her. But it’s not wrong to want her and to enjoy it.
So give yourself permission to be a sexual man.
Tip #5: Dare to have sexy WhatsApp conversations
If, like me, you’re a male, then unfortunately we both suffer from the same evolutionary disease.
We make conversations boring as f*ck. Especially for women. And especially online.
This is because we choose to. Us men, we love to talk about facts and figures all the time.
We just weren’t born with the urge to make conversations emotional, like women are.
But being able to stimulate women emotionally is absolutely crucial for your first pillow party. Especially online.
Besides, if you’re still a virgin I can imagine that it makes you insecure to broach the most emotional subject of them all:
But it’s at least necessary to bring this up a little here and there. Subtly is adequate. But you’re going to have to make her aware of why you are in contact.
Unless you want her to end up as your shopping buddy.
So dare to make your conversations sexy.
Take this screenshot for example:
This probably doesn’t seem like an impossible conversation for you to have.
Because we’re talking about VR. A subject that’s very far from sex.
It’s not a naughty subject at all…
And to show that you’re really man enough to make conversations sexy and avoid the friend zone bullet. You make the statement from the screenshot.
Which, by the way, you can easily copy and paste into your own conversations. Because all you need to have in the conversation is a topic that interests you both.
Easy as that.
You know what’s also easy?
Another 10+ examples which you can keep on your clipboard in your phone. You’ll find them in our Texting Cheatsheet.
And since it’s free, I don’t want to hear you whine anymore about your WhatsApp conversations failing.
Now you can say “I’ve never had sex in my life, but I know everything about:
- How to reckon with your virginity. No more reason to feel shy about this
- Pickup lines to use online or offline in order to have fun about your prudishness and still intimately seduce her.
- How to deal with and use sexual tension.
Time to talk about the act itself and a possible challenge that could come with it.
Because maybe you’re scared you’ll finish before the second pump.
Tip #6: How to last long enough your first time
How to make sex for the first time good.
If you feel tension before your first time having sex, let me help you get rid of it.
The thought: ‘I’ve never done it before’ can give you a lot of performance anxiety:
- Does she expect a Christian Grey under the sheets?
- Am I going to blow my load within the first 30 seconds?
- What if all my blood goes to my head, rather than the head of my c*ck?
All these questions may create a risk of an unwanted sprint to the finish line. Or your purple helmet warrior being too afraid to show up to the battlefield.
We’re going to get rid of this tension. So your first time can be a pleasant experience for you, instead of a grueling disaster.
And you can do this by using some practical tips.
For ‘woo woo’ advice, I’d like to refer you to the spiritual corner of the book store.
There you will find everything about how to align your chakras in order to make contact with your subconscious and last longer in bed.
Here are 3 highly practical tips:
1. Start slooooooooow
Keep the rpm low. You’re probably already very close to bursting because of this completely new experience.
Build it up slowly and move it up a notch step by step.
- You can frame this positively by telling her you want to enjoy her for longer.
2. Have foooorreplayyy
And by that I mean long foreplay.
This will allow you to get used to all the stimulation. And all the tension will slowly subside. Because, believe me, you will definitely start to relax as she starts playing with your junk.
Is the crescendo on its way?
Then stop and change position. This gives you a nice break, which allows the pressure to subside.
This is a small step towards becoming a true Sex God.
Back down to earth. I have more tips for you.
Tip #7: The silver lining about having sex for the first time in your 20s, 30s, or even 40s
Pay attention, you’re getting a great tip for a conversation topic.
Imagine, you lose your virginity late.
30? 40? Maybe you even think 20 is late.
Do you ever even want to tell a woman that this happened at such a late age?
What will she think of you?
Having sex for the first time at a later age must be a disgrace to your masculinity.
Haha, not at all. It is totally fine. As long as you tell her the right way.
It’s strange, but the women with whom you share the age at which you lost your virginity (great question to ask on a date, by the way), often look at you with disbelief.
You show them where you came from. What you achieved. And what you’ve had to fight for. Especially if you are active in your personal development, she’ll hear a huge difference between you back then and the version of you who’s sitting across from her today.
Humans (yes, this includes women) absolutely love to hear about personal transformations.
It shows your drive and perseverance. These are both irresistible properties for most women.
Don’t just talk about your work during your dates. Tell her what you’ve done to get there (obviously without blabbing on and telling your entire life story).
Be aware that if you make it too teary-eyed-cry-baby-I-want-my-mummy, then people will just think you’re kind of unstable.
Own your past. Take responsibility for your mistakes and sadness, without being carried away by them. Tell your story in a powerful way and show your growth.
Tip #8: The #1 ingredient for your first time
You’re about to learn the way to fill the other side of your bed.
Here’s a quiz for you…
What is necessary for a steaming hot session under the sheets?
Yep, you nailed it, a man and a woman. The bed is optional. And the steam is nice if it happens, but not a must.
But how do you make sure you get this crucial part: the woman?
Buy her? Hire her? Borrow her from your best (non-virgin) buddy?
Maybe… but let me introduce you to a much better option:
If you want to have your first time with an awesome woman or girl any time soon, you’ll have to start meeting women.
Don’t expect her to storm up to your house, smash the door down and jump onto your c*ck while you’re sitting on the couch, Ben & Jerry’s dripping down your t-shirt while you mindlessly watch your 7th Rick & Morty episode of the day.
Now I can understand if meeting women is daunting or awkward for you.
The first time I approached a woman I felt as if I was about to confront a raging bull, wearing a red jacket.
But once you’ve done the first one, the next will become easier and easier.
Tip #9: Will your first time be your last?
Are you still a virgin?
Just stay a virgin bro!
Just stay safely hidden behind your computer screen for some easy, enjoyable and 100% sure fun.
Definitely stay away from that difficult stuff with women, that some call ‘pick-up’.
I can understand that you might just want to have sex, even if it’s just to shut your friends up.
But once you’ve tasted the not-so-forbidden fruit, you’ll want more, whether it’s a casual hookup or deeper contact with women.
The urge for more will at its worst become a light obsession, but more likely just a healthy need.
Fulfilling this need costs time.
Because unless you and your first grow old together, that moment will come that you need to seduce a new woman.
And as a beginning womanizer, you’re going to run into more challenges as you continue on your way to your second bed partner:
- Again, that fear of approaching a hot woman you see on the street.
- Women turning you down half way through the flirting process.
- Dates that you completely blow.
These are all blows to your self-esteem. Because ‘it’s not working’.
And taking blow upon blow has a negative impact on your perseverance when it comes to meeting new women.
That’s why you need to make sure you meet women in an effective way. That way you’ll already be halfway in her pants.
Because a fuck-up half-way or towards the end, often originates from mistakes at the beginning.
This makes meeting women easy and successful for you. So your self-confidence grows and doesn’t diminish after every rejection.
So maybe it isn’t even so bad to stay a virgin for a little longer.
To make sure you get to take off the ‘virgin’ label as soon as possible, scroll down to the next tip.
Getting to your second time with ease
Who always greets everyone who enters your home?
Your front door.
Do you know what else your front door does:
Keeps you inside.
The step may be just a small one. But getting out of the house is probably the biggest challenge you will face, if you want to get out and meet women.
Because it’s pretty damn easy to say:
- “Today is too cold”
- “Ok, but I’ll just finish this last episode”
- “Tomorrow is another day”
And then it will be too late. And then one day… it will be too late for good.
Don’t let your front door stop you from getting in the way of you meeting women.
To help with this, make use of this free Transformation Kit.
It’s full of tips and lines to get to know women in a socially calibrated way. And tools to get through all your personal barriers.
This is how you’ll get to your second, and to the love life of your dreams.
Best of luck.
Dan de Ram
For more tips, check out these articles:
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