Being a virgin can feel awkward.
Especially when all your friends are having sexual experiences and ask you about your bedroom adventures.
Yikes. I can feel your unease or frustration in those moments. And I also remember them from my past.
Let me help you shut your friends up.
Never had sex before? In today’s article, you’ll find tips to quiet down your anxiety and find my best tips to get laid.In this article:More...
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I’ve never done it before. Should I tell her?
Don’t tell her you’re still a virgin unless it helps you feel more comfortable or you already have a deep bond.
Let me explain.
Suppose you barely know her and you end up in bed together.
As the big moment approaches, you hit pause and tell her you’ve never had sex before.
What do you imagine she’s feeling right now?
By telling her you’re a virgin, you’re dumping a shitload of pressure on her shoulders:
- “Is this going to be special enough for his first time?”
- “Am I good enough for him?”
- “Is he going to be any good or am I going to have a mediocre experience?”
- “Is he going to fall in love with me immediately?”
- “What is he expecting from me?”
Unless she’s super cool, she’s going to panic a little.
That’s going to put an end to the sexy mood and likely kill your odds of sleeping with her.
Look, I get it! You probably want to share this personal fact of yours, because you want to be honest and build a deeper connection.
But trust me, if you barely know her you don’t want to tell her you’re a virgin right before you have sex.
Is she your girlfriend or is your bond already pretty strong?
Then she won’t be shocked by your secret or make false assumptions. It’s fine to tell her in these situations.
But do you barely know her? Then tell her after the deed or little while later.
Then she’ll be all surprised and probably say:
“Oh, you should have told me that.”
But believe me. You should not have said that
1. Don’t judge yourself
The biggest thing that’s likely keeping you from having sex for the first time are your thoughts.
If you’ve never had sex before, you’re probably thinking things such as:
- “Crap, everyone has had a girlfriend except me. I’m such a loser.”
- “I’m running behind because I’m trying to have sex for the first time in my 20s/30s/40s.”
- “She’s going to freak out when I tell her I’m still a virgin.”
These thoughts can cripple you and keep you from feeling good enough to seduce women.
Here’s how to feel better about yourself:
Don’t judge yourself.
Everyone has something they’re not so proud of. Others might be insecure about their looks, feel like they have nothing to offer, are afraid of being bad in bed, or are just plain shy.
People don’t easily share their vulnerabilities like that. But trust me, almost all guys have reasons to be uncomfortable around women.
So realize that while you are aware of your problems, you aren’t aware of other people’s problems!
But you know what?
You’re not the only one who has this problem. Plenty of adult men are virgins.
The rest of the article will help you get laid.
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2. Poke fun at yourself
Do you shy away when the topic of conversation goes to sex?
Understandable. Especially if you’ve been a virgin for longer than you’d ever think. The shame just starts building up.
Maybe you even think that you’ll be the only person to die a virgin.
As the pressure to have sex soon starts rising and rising, you may even form insecurities around it.
That’s why I’m going to share with you exactly how to make being a virgin not such a big deal anymore.
Make fun of the situation!
Be silly about it, as much as you possibly can.
Because being a virgin is only weird when you make it weird!
So please joke about your first time.
You’ll notice that when you joke about it, people will think the opposite is true.
This helps you create a vibe, in which sex is not taboo.
By making jokes about yourself, you take away any hold your virginity has on you.
It’s also the case in general that if you make fun of yourself, you can silence the voice in your head.
Too afraid to make jokes about your virginity?
I get it.
Then I have a different solution to change your mind about your sexless life:
Ask girls how they feel about having sex with a cute virgin.
Here’s the question I’d like you to ask:
“Would you date a cool and attractive guy who’s also a virgin?”
I can guarantee that 99% of women will be totally cool with it.
Don’t trust me, ask the question and find out for yourself.
3. Playfully embrace your virginity
Here’s what you do when a cute girl brings up sex in your conversation.
Playfully imply you’re a virgin.
The last thing you want to do when she asks you about your sexual experiences is to have a panic attack.
Instead, approach the situation with humor. Get it?
Use likes like:
In a high energy environment, like a club:
“I hope that tonight I’ll finally lose my virginity… ;)”
On a date:
‘Ooh, I’ve never done ‘it’ before, these are going to be the best 30 seconds of your life (at a date).’
“I’m afraid I’ll be a virgin until the day I die since I have a micro penis.”
“I’m saving myself for someone special, only she may take my cherry.”
“You must marry me first, or there will be no sex. Oh, you’re getting arroused? Well you’d better put a ring on it first. ;)”
Make as many jokes as possible about your virginity.
These sentences will help you a lot in general when it comes to flirting.
Even if you’re not a virgin.
Because people will think you aren’t a virgin and have experience.
And if you have trouble remaining calm when the sexual tension boils up above your ears, then be sure to read the next tip.
4. Embrace your sexuality
If you’re going to date girls, you’ll eventually feel like the MOMENT is close. And if you’re like the virgins I’ve coached, you’ll feel like there’s something wrong.
Here’s what you do.
Give yourself permission to feel aroused.
As a virgin, you may think there’s something ‘wrong’ about feeling aroused.
Like you’re not allowed to express it, or that you’re ‘taking’ something from her, or ‘using her’, or it may just feel strange to you.
Unfortunately, a lot of men still have some level of shame about this. Even the non-virgins.
Many guys think women aren’t as into as they are.
But it’s VERY important to understand that women like to have sex as much as men do. As long as they’re into them, of course.
So feeling sexually energized is totally fine.
In fact, it’s absolutely key to give yourself the following permission:
Let’s repeat that together:
Yea, hmmm, lovely.
There’s nothing wrong with sexuality.
Sexuality is literally the reason that you’re here now, able to read this blog.
It’s not nice to think about the fact that your parents had sex… and how they did it… 😉
But it’s because they did the deed that you’re here now.
So give yourself permission to experience this natural phenomenon.
You can do this through small, subtle things.
For example, if you go out and flirt with a woman.
Now you’re getting closer.
A good way to let the energy start flowing freely is by smelling her hair. It may sound strange, but it’s a very normal way to release some lust in yourself.
You’ll start feeling that you want her in a very primal way. So will she.
Enjoy it. There’s nothing wrong with it.
Of course, you must respect her. But it’s not wrong to want her and to enjoy it.
So give yourself permission to be a sexual man.
5. Dare to have sexy WhatsApp conversations
If, like me, you’re a male, then unfortunately we both suffer from the same evolutionary disease.
We make conversations boring as f*ck. Especially for women. And especially online.
This is because we like to talk in facts.
We just weren’t born with the urge to make conversations emotional, like women are.
But being able to stimulate women emotionally is absolutely crucial for your first pillow party. Especially online.
Besides, if you’re still a virgin I can imagine that it makes you insecure to broach the most emotional subject of them all:
But it’s at least necessary to bring this up a little here and there. Subtly is adequate. But you’re going to have to make her aware of why you are in contact.
Unless you want her to end up as your shopping buddy.
So dare to make your conversations sexy.
Take this screenshot for example:
This probably doesn’t seem like an impossible conversation for you to have.
Because we’re talking about VR. A subject that’s very far from sex.
It’s not a naughty subject at all…
If you want to avoid the friend zone bullet, you need to show that you’re man enough to make conversations sexy.
Either copy the line from the screenshot, or use my 10 Texts That Always Work that you can download RIGHT HERE.
And since it’s free, I don’t want to hear you whine anymore about your WhatsApp conversations failing.
Time to talk about the act itself and a possible challenge that could come with it.
Because maybe you’re scared you’ll finish before the second pump.
6. Last long enough the first time
How to make sex for the first time good.
If you feel tension before your first time having sex, let me help you get rid of it.
The thought: ‘I’ve never done it before’ can give you a lot of performance anxiety:
- Does she expect a Christian Grey under the sheets?
- Am I going to blow my load within the first 30 seconds?
- What if all my blood goes to my head, rather than the head of my c*ck?
All these questions may create a risk of an unwanted sprint to the finish line. Or your purple helmet warrior being too afraid to show up to the battlefield.
We’re going to get rid of this tension. So your first time can be a pleasant experience for you, instead of a grueling disaster.
And you can do this by using some practical tips.
For ‘woo woo’ advice, I’d like to refer you to the spiritual corner of the book store.
There you will find everything about how to align your chakras in order to make contact with your subconscious and last longer in bed.
Here are 3 highly practical tips:
- Start slooooooooow. You’re probably already very close to bursting because of this completely new experience. Build it up slowly and move it up a notch step by step. You can frame this positively by telling her you want to enjoy her for longer.
- Have foooorreplayyy. Loooooooooooong foreplay. This will allow you to get used to all the stimulation. And all the tension will slowly subside. Because, believe me, you will definitely start to relax as she starts playing with your junk.
- Variety. Is the crescendo on its way? Then stop and change position. This gives you a nice break, which allows the pressure to subside.
This is a small step towards becoming a true Sex God.
Back down to earth. I have more tips for you.
7. Tell her you’re a virgin in your 20s, 30s, or even 40s like a pro
Pay attention, you’re getting a great tip for a conversation topic.
Imagine, you lose your virginity late.
30? 40? Maybe you even think 20 is late.
Do you ever even want to tell a woman that this happened at such a late age?
What will she think of you?
Having sex for the first time at a later age must be a disgrace to your masculinity.
Haha, not at all. It is totally fine. As long as you tell her the right way.
It’s strange, but the women with whom you share the age at which you lost your virginity (great question to ask on a date, by the way), often look at you with disbelief.
You show them where you came from. What you achieved. And what you’ve had to fight for.
Especially if you’re big on personal development, she’ll hear a huge difference between who you were back then and the version who’s sitting across from her today.
She probably won’t even believe you. That’s how different your old self seems to her.
Humans (yes, this includes women) absolutely love to hear about personal transformations.
It shows your drive and perseverance. These are both irresistible properties for most women.
Own your past. Take responsibility for your mistakes and sadness, without being carried away by them.
Tell your story in a powerful way and show your growth.
8. Meet new women on the regular
You’re about to learn the way to fill the other side of your bed.
Here’s a quiz for you…
What is necessary for a steaming hot session under the sheets?
Yep, you nailed it, a man and a woman. The bed is optional. And the steam is nice if it happens, but not a must.
But how do you make sure you get this crucial part: the woman?
Buy her? Hire her? Borrow her from your best (non-virgin) buddy?
Maybe… but let me introduce you to a much better option:
If you want to have your first time with an awesome woman or girl any time soon, you’ll have to start meeting women.
Don’t expect her to storm up to your house, smash the door down and jump onto your c*ck while you’re sitting on the couch, Ben & Jerry’s dripping down your t-shirt while you mindlessly watch your 7th Rick & Morty episode of the day.
Now I can understand if meeting women is daunting or awkward for you.
The first time I approached a woman I felt as if I was about to confront a raging bull, wearing a red jacket.
But once you’ve done the first one, the next will become easier and easier.
9. Will your first time be your last?
Are you still a virgin? Just stay a virgin bro!
Just stay safely hidden behind your computer screen for some easy, enjoyable and 100% sex-free fun.
Definitely stay away from that difficult stuff with women, that some call ‘pick-up’.
Okay, enough with the sarcasm.
I can understand that you might just want to have sex, even if it’s just to shut your friends up.
But once you’ve tasted the not-so-forbidden fruit, you’ll want more, whether it’s a casual hookup or deeper contact with women.
The urge for more will at its worst become a light obsession, but more likely just a healthy need.
Fulfilling this need costs time.
Because unless you and your first grow old together, the moment will come when you’ll need to meet another woman.
And as a beginning womanizer, you’re going to run into more challenges as you continue on your way to your second bed partner:
- Again, that fear of ruining the convo with your hot Tinder match.
- Women losing interest halfway through the flirting process.
- Dates that you completely ruin.
These are all blows to your ego.
Get hit hard enough too many times and you might give up and return to your basement and regrow your neckbeard.
That’s why you need to make sure you meet women in an effective way. That way you’ll already be halfway in her pants.
Where do you start?
By pimping your online dating profile.
Download my Dating Profile Checklist and you’ll see everything you need to build an irresistible profile that will get you plenty of matches.
This is how you’ll get to your second, and to the love life of your dreams.
You’ll find your TextGod Toolkit below.
Just hit the big gold button.
Best of luck.
Dan de Ram
And don't forget your download below ;)