When you like someone, something as simple as texting them suddenly becomes complicated.
Overthinking can kick in and sending the wrong text messages can cause the most embarrassing scenarios.
But don’t worry! I have guided hundreds of clients through this process. And the same tactics that had them winning their crush over, I will now share with you.
In this article, you’ll find out exactly how to text your crush to make them like you.
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How to start a conversation with your crush through text
Have you already sent the first text to your crush? You can go straight to the 11 tips to seduce your crush.
Otherwise, keep reading…
So you secretly like someone. But how do you start a conversation with your crush?
How do you engage in a way that’s not weird, and that makes her like you back? Me and my dating experts have your back.
Let me give you some pointers and example pick-up lines on how to start a convo through text, in different situations.
Starting a conversation with your crush on a dating app
You matched your crush on a dating app like Tinder. How do you hit it off right off the bat?
The most important thing to remember is to take it slow. You first have to build attraction. Make sure your crush is into you.
If you’re familiar with our TextGod Formula, you know there has to be a balance in how much each of you invests.
If you invest too much, both in the amount of messages you send and in your eagerness, you’ll look needy.
So start flirty and fun. Don’t get serious too quickly. Lure them out of their cave. Show that it’s fun to talk to you.
For an in-depth explanation and examples, I advise reading these articles:
Starting a conversation with your crush on social media
So you’re following your crush on social media like Instagram. They probably have no clue who you are. But you’re totally into them. A tricky situation.
Chances are your crush gets a lot of attention. So you have to nail your first message to even get their initial attention.
Anything like compliments or plain messages like “Hey, how are you” won’t do the job.
Your best bet is to slide into their DM’s with the following:
Find a commonality between the two of you in one of their pictures, and send a teasing comment about it.
More on starting a conversation with your crush on social media here:
Starting a conversation with someone you know in real life
You know your crush in real life and have her contact. But how do start your conversation without being awkward?
The worst thing you can do is send a text like: “Hey it’s [name]. How are you?’ or ‘Hey, how are you?”
Why? It doesn’t stir any emotions. It’s boring. And your crush might think: “Why is this person texting me?” There’s a vibe of neediness to it.
Now, I assume you’ve talked to each other face-to-face. If not, I recommend doing that first. Even some small talk is enough.
After that, don’t wait too long to text your crush. Not more than a week.
At this point, start with something smart and funny that reminds her of your last encounter.
- “Just watched South Park and I changed my mind. Kenny looks like a wrinkled orange indeed.”
- “Since you told me HIMYM is a cheap rip-off of Friends, I can’t watch it without hearing “I’ll be there for you” in my head. I hate you already ;)”
For more on this, check out this article:
How to make your crush like you over text
Time for the real work. You’re in contact… now let’s make sure feelings get involved.
1. Tease with love
Do you find it difficult to be yourself when texting your crush?
Then you probably overthink your words. What if she doesn’t like your text messages?
To prevent humiliating yourself, you play it safe.
There’s just one problem.
Playing it safe is actually more dangerous. At least, for your love life.
Being overly friendly, polite, and accommodating doesn’t create romantic feelings. It creates friendship.
And if you’ve ever been friendzones by someone you have feelings for, you never want to experience it again.
That’s why you need to take a risk. You need to be flirty!
One of the best and easiest ways to flirt is to tease.
Careful: teasing doesn’t mean mocking or insulting someone.
Teasing is all about playfully pushing someone away.
Here are some lines you can use right now.
- If she uses a bad word. “Watch it, potty mouth! My mom reads all my Tinder conversations!”
- “Oh no. And I was just starting to like you a little. Where’s the unmatch button?
- “Could you please stop being cute and distracting me, I’m supposed to be working right now.”
To become an expert on flirty texts, read my next article:
2. Ask open-ended questions
Questions are a double-edged sword. Asking boring ones will lower attraction, but asking fun ones raises attraction.
If talking to you doesn’t make your crush feel good, they have zero reason to stay.
A simple way to be a source of fun is by asking exciting questions.
Here are a few you can send your crush right now.
- “Who is your celebrity look-a-like?”
- “What’s one thing you’ve tried that you’ll never try again?”
- “What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself?”
- “What’s the strangest thing you know too much about?”
- “What’s the weirdest thing you ever did to impress someone you liked?”
If you read them all, I’m sure you wanted to answer at least one yourself. They’re fun!
Just don’t overuse them.
Because no matter how good the question is, the most important factor for good text conversations is variety.
3. Send voice notes
If you’re looking for a way to create a lot of attraction with minimal effort… then voice notes are your new best friend.
Your voice can make someone incredibly attracted to you without them even seeing you!
It’s one of the realizations we hear most often from clients that go through our coaching programs:
So send your crush voice messages!
If you use your voice well, it’s irresistible.
Just look at some of the responses I got after sending a voice message:
My voice is sexy.
My voice is cute… uhh… sexy.
My accent is super hot.
Now, you may get the idea I’m bragging about my deep, masculine voice that makes the ladies weak in the knees.
Truth is… my voice is normal! Average!
No one has ever complimented my voice in real life. Only over text.
So you know what to do on any apps that support voice messages 😉
4. Leave them wanting more
With this tip right, you’ll have your crush craving your attention.
What we are going to do, is use the science behind addiction.
Given the right stimulus, that brain shoots deliciously addictive chemicals into our bodies.
We are going to shoot a big load of those chemicals into your love interest. The result will have them hooked on your texts like never before.
In the example below you can see TextGod coach Jay doing exactly this:
The million-dollar question is of course: how do you deliver this rush of chemicals?
The answer…
Unexpected rewards.
Several studies have shown that unexpected rewards trigger far more feel-good chemicals than expected rewards.
In normal words:
If your text messages are unpredictable, they will have more impact.
How do you do that?
Vary the next things:
- How quickly you answer.
- How much you text back.
- How many questions you ask her.
- How much you answer of her questions.
- The type of texts you send her (texts, photos, memes, voice notes).
- The flavor of your texts (funny, casual, interesting, teasing, etc.)
Most of this happens naturally when you’re not over-analyzing your texts and are enjoying life.
5. Use ‘Togetherness’
It seems like a small detail, but it makes all the difference.
What is ‘Togetherness‘ exactly?
It’s when you talk about your love interest and you together.
The best part is that the two of you don’t have to be dating to use this connection-building trick. You are free to make up any future scenarios! Simply by using words like we, us, and our.
The word ‘we’ is a connection-building superpower. It instantly transforms you from two strangers on the internet to people with a special bond.
‘We’ shows that you’re a team.
And that’s paramount for building trust and, if that’s your interest, a romantic relationship.
- “Man, I miss the sun. Let’s steal a boat and sail to the tropics. No one can stop us!”
- “I”m such a sucker for dogs. If we ever pupper I think we should call him Taco.”
- “Our dog is going to clean up his own poop because we raised him so well.”
6. Be a little less polite
Let’s begin with the issue most men suffer from.
Friendly conversations.
Chatting is fun, but it doesn’t get her to think naughty thoughts about you. And that’s exactly what you want, right?
Do you know who women fantasize about?
Dangerous men.
Two researchers analyzed 1 billion Google searches to discover what type of pornography arouses women most.
In their book ‘A Billion Wicked Thoughts’ they published the results:
The most prevalent sexual fantasy of women follows the formula of 50 Shades of Grey.
I can already hear you thinking, “That’s such a ridiculously stupid book…”
Fair enough.
But it was also one of the best-selling novels of all time. Hold that in your brain for a second.
Why does 50 Shades of Grey get women all hot and bothered? Because it fits the female sexual fantasy to a tee.
- A wild man/monster who doesn’t care much about the needs of others (a boxer, sheriff, private eye, vampire, werewolf).
- Who is of high status (a billionaire, doctor, boss, prince, knight, king).
- Who is only sweet for one special lady who eventually makes him a ‘better’ man.
So if you want to seduce your crush, be a little more wild and mature.
If you do it right, you’ll get replies like this:
7. Have standards
The biggest turn-off for a woman is when she feels that she can have you with a single snap of her fingers.
The only exception is when she’s already super into you.
That’s why you want to throw her off balance a little every now and then.
Excitement lies in what could be.
None of this means that you have to hide that you find her attractive.
But she should also know that her good looks aren’t enough to win you over.
There’s something else you’re looking for.
What that is, is up to you.
At the very least you need to show her that she needs to put in effort to keep you around.
8. Dial down the laughter
If you’re too sweet, you decrease attraction.
Why?
Our own research has shown that needy, nervous guys use more haha’s and emojis,
Only Disney characters laugh 24/7.
Are you always smiling and laughing with your crush?
Then you’ll lose her trust.
She’ll think you’re hiding something and are only putting your best self forward to win her over.
This is no reason to bitch and moan to your crush. But it is a warning to be more disagreeable.
Just because she loves horses doesn’t mean you need to.
In fact, you’ll become more attractive if you disagree.
As you can see from this quite extreme screenshot example:
You don’t need to be mean.
But you do need to have your own personality, values, and opinions.
If you’re interested in our research, the the video below and you might never want to use emojis again:
9. Show interest
It seems so obvious, but so many people forget to do it.
Showing interest and excitement so that your crush knows you’re having a good time.
Nothing is more flattering than someone who’s genuinely interested in us.
Did your crush just say or do something you like? Let them know with your warm and positive energy.
- “Hahaha. It’s been a while since a text made me laugh that hard.”
- “It’s cool that you like video games and all. But I’m totally going to kick your ass at them.”
- “You like [ABC] too? Marry me already!”
Diving deep into common interests is a powerful hack to building a deep connection fast.
10. Have a life
Women want a man with a balanced life so that she can co-star in his awesome reality.
The last thing girls want is to be your everything. In fact, she’d love it if you already seem happy with everything you’ve got… but still, she seems to be able to make your life even better.
Want to be sexy to your crush?
Have cool stuff to talk to her about.
Maintain good friendships. Keep going out to parties and events. And work on your hobbies.
Do you happen to have tons of free time? Then the most basic thing you can do is to leave your phone out of sight sometimes. Being over-available is never sexy.
11. Dare to be vulnerable
When it comes to being good with women, most men have it all wrong.
They tend to think that women fall for guys who are strong and in perfect control over their emotions.
But that’s wildly inaccurate.
While many women do want a ‘rock’ to rely on, women also want to feel a strong sense of connection to you.
They want to feel fireworks.
And that can only come from being vulnerable with her and showing who you really are.
So open yourself up to her a little.
Here are some questions that will give you an idea of what she might want to hear:
- What do you care about?
- What’s something you think about a lot?
- What energizes you?
- What’s the most important thing that’s happening in your life?
How to ask your crush out on a date over text
Once you’ve used the tips from this article, you’ll have to ask your crush out.
This is the easy step!
The TextGod Formula says that you can ask someone out as soon as three parameters are met.
- Attraction
- Trust
- Investment
If you’ve used the flirty texts from earlier, then your crush should be attracted, invested, and feeling safe.
So the hard work is done, all that’s left is to ask at the right time, and with an efficient text.
When is the right time to ask a girl out
The right time to ask someone out is not a specific time of the day.
It’s the moment you notice that the other person is interested in you.
To help you find out when that is, ask yourself these questions:
- Do they show interest in you and ask questions back?
- Do they share information about themself?
- Do they actively engage in your text conversations?
- Do they use plenty of haha’s, lol’s, and emojis?
- Do they ask about your plans (or mention their own lack of plans)?
More of these signals mean a higher chance they accept your date invite!
Need more signals? Then check my full list of 20 signs someone likes you over text.
Smooth ways to ask your crush out
The last step is sending the actual text that asks your crush out.
There are many different ways to do so.
I’ll give you two smooth copy-paste texts to ask someone out.
- “Hey, I’d love to take you on a date sometime. If that sounds fun, let me know if Friday eve or Saturday during the day work and I’ll set something up!”
Nothing hotter than someone that doesn’t just talk about meeting up, but actually plans it out.
- “So, you’re into art, right? Have you been to the current exhibition at the Museum of Photography? I hear great things about it and want to check it out. Feel like going together?”
Remember what you and your crush talked about on the apps or over text. And now turn this interest of theirs into a date proposal.
If you want more variations of texts to ask someone out. Feel free to indulge 😉
Summary
The key to seducing your crush is to embrace playful and teasing strategies.
Overly polite and predictable texts will get you left on read or friendzoned.
Instead, taking risks increases your chance of creating genuine attraction.
We’ve discussed open-ended questions and voice notes to keep the conversation effortlessly flowing.
Science-backed strategies to leave your crush wanting more through being unpredictable.
And showing a strong personality while daring to be vulnerable.
If she’s single, she’s available.
And if you want to be the one filling that special role in her life, you better outperform the competition.
That’s why I’m giving away my 10 best texts that I’ve used to get women to go crazy over me.
If you’re ever at a loss for what to say, just copy-paste one of my lines and you’ll be one step closer to winning her heart.
Blessings,
Louis Farfields
And don't forget your download below ;)
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can you text him