How to Text a Girl for the First Time: 10 Examples That Get A Reply

Wondering how to text a girl for the first time? In this guide, we’ll cover the key elements of a great first text (like timing, tone, and personalization) to make sure you grab her attention. I’ll also share 30 examples you can use, whether you met her online or in person.

Get ready to send that perfect message and start the conversation off right!

In this article:

• What kind of first texts do girls want from guys?
• When do you text a girl for the first time?
• How to text a girl for the first time on an online dating app? 30 Best examples
• How do you text a girl you met in real life for the first time? 5 Tips
• How do you keep the conversation going after the first text? 5 Tips
• How do you set up the date after the first text?
• How to text a girl for the first time – Summary

More...

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What kind of first texts do girls want from guys?

Women appreciate texts that have several of the following elements:

• Casual confidence. Don’t overthink the message. She doesn’t want you to try too hard to impress her since you don’t know her. Keep it relaxed but confident.
• Emotional stimulation. Whether it’s a specific compliment, a tease, a challenge, or a bit of everything, she wants to feel something.
• Personal feel. She doesn’t want to receive a generic message that you can send to anyone. That feels a little cheap. So always try to tailor your text to the girl you’re talking to.
• Timely. If you just matched on Tinder or exchanged numbers in real life, she wants to hear from you sooner rather than later. It’s healthy to be interested in someone fun you just met. It’s weird (and a little insulting) to keep them waiting for days.

Of course, respect is technically one of the other elements. But that’s a given. Respect is one of these social niceties that everyone wants and expects.

When do you text a girl for the first time?

Don’t make her wait too long. Many dating resources still say to take your time to prevent you from looking too eager. But I’d say you’re making a mistake of biblical proportions if you wait longer than 24 hours.

If you just met in real life or matched on a dating app, it’s in your best interest to reach out as soon as possible.

Why?

This is when she feels the most excited about getting to know you. The more time passes, the more she’ll lose her interest in you.

How to text a girl for the first time on an online dating app? 30 Best examples

Are you looking to send a text to your new Tinder, Hingle, or Bumble match? Then look no further, because you’re about to get the best icebreakers that always work. Just make sure the message fits the situation and seems like it was made for the girl you’re texting.

1. [If she’s very adventurous] “Dang, [her name]. You’re like the female James Bond. Can’t wait to live out my dream of being a Bond Girl”.
2. “On a scale of 1 to ‘Murica, how many guns did you fire after we matched?”
3. “I figured I’d give you an excuse to talk about my epic Pikachu sweater”.
4. “Planning a penguin heist, need a getaway driver. You in?”
5. “Okay, I just had a donut and cuddled a puppy. Who’s winning at life today: me or you?”
6. “What’s the most random thing you’ve done on impulse? Need to know what I’m dealing with here.”
7. [If you both have dog pics] “Did we swipe right because we like each other or because of the dog pics?”
8. “👋✋✋. I’m using sign language because I’m in the quiet section of the library and I’m not rude”.
9. [If it’s close to a holiday] “Congratulations! You have manifested a guy you can take home for Thanksgiving “.
10. “Congratulations! You have manifested a guy you can take home for Thanksgiving”.
11. “You strike me as the kind of person who would absolutely destroy me at board games but act all casual about it”.
12. “I bet you pretend not to care about astrology but can name all your friends’ signs”.
13. “You’re the type to order a salad and still swipe fries off your friend’s plate, right?”
14. “I can flirt with you in three languages: American, British, and perv”.
15. “You look like you could beat me at chess. But then lose just to make me feel better”.
16. “You look like someone who’d help me hide a body. Luckily I only have a heavy carpet for us to leave in the woods”.
17. “Damn gurlll your style is on point. Do you dress yourself or does Rick Owens live in your closet?”
18. “Can we skip the coffee thing and go straight to world domination?”
19. “So, are we more of a ‘win the lottery and travel the world’ couple, or a ‘steal a golf cart and escape the police’ duo?”
20. “I was blinded by the bling in your photos. If I say something dumb, blame it on the temporary vision loss”.
21. “I see you like to run. What are we escaping from?”
22. “You’re such a nerd I love it. I bet you’re the type who brings board games to a party”.
23. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you think I’d beat you at Mario Kart?”
24. “What’s your spirit animal and why is it probably a golden retriever?”
25. “I was so stoked to get to know you, but then my horoscope said that a girl in a blue dress would get me into trouble”.
26. [When she has flowers in her pics] “So sweet that you got me flowers for our matchiversary!”
27. [When she has a unique print] “Love that print on your top! Reminds me of the bedsheets I had as a child <3”
28. “What’s your favorite conspiracy theory? I need a new one to obsess over.”
29. “Favorite meme of all time? My sixth sense says cat memes have you in stitches”.
30.  “You can only watch one movie forever. What’s your pick? I’m getting some serious ‘Devil Wears Prada’ energy from you”.

How do you text a girl you met in real life for the first time? 5 Tips

1. Assume she remembers

Most guys sabotage themselves with the first text. In part, because they’re following harmful advice from ‘expert’ online dating coaches that recommend texts like:

What makes this message such a turn-off for women? Think about it. This is the subtext:

“Hey, this is Joe, you’ve probably already forgotten me, that happens to me all the time. I assume I’m just not that memorable of a person, so let me check in with you first, before I actually send a fun message. Please text back :)”

Suggesting you’re an unremarkable person isn’t exactly attractive. So don’t reintroduce yourself.

Assume you made such a good impression that she’s looking forward to hearing back from you.

Did she happen to forget? Then you can always remind her later.

You’ll know if you created a good first text if it looks like a message she would get from a friend.

For example:

2. Remind her of the connection

Here’s how to text a girl for the first time that she can’t resist.

Make her think back to your special connection.

A lot of guys, however, make the mistake of trying to rebuild the connection from scratch. Sending her messages like:

• “Did you get home safely?”
• “What’s up? It’s Marcus.”
• “How was the rest of your night?”

Texts like these are likely to trigger a lukewarm response. But you want to trigger a “HELL YEAH!” response.

And one of the best ways to do that is by reminding her of the special moments you’ve already had together. Either online or in real life. After all, that’s the time that she liked you enough to exchange numbers with you.

So use that to your advantage. Here are some examples:

• “What’s up, bowling queen? I hope you’re not still mad at losing to me and my pink ball.”
• “My clothes still reek of cotton candy lol. Anyway, I wish you and your 3 air fans a good night’s sleep.”
• “Was fun hanging out today. Enjoy chilling at home in your jeans, you maniac. ✨✨”

It’s best to think back to your memories to come up with good material. But if you need some inspiration, check this next article of mine:

• 50+ Funny texts to send

3. Be the same person

If you’re going to text a girl for the first time, you need to do this:

Send her a message that sounds like it came from you.

That might sound a little weird. But many dudes look to impress girls and end up copy-pasting lines from the internet that make them look like a completely different person. So always try to write a text that matches her idea of you.

If you weren’t particularly funny in real life, don’t try to be a comedian over text. Did you have a chill, friendly conversation? Don’t send a message like you’re James Bond.

She’ll notice the incongruence. And it’ll turn her off because it seems ‘wrong’.

4. Keep it snappy

Sending a girl a series of first texts is totally fine. As long as it doesn’t take longer to read than the Lord of the Rings saga.

A wall of text can easily overwhelm her. It makes it hard to decide what she should and shouldn’t reply to. Plus, it also seems like you’re desperate for her attention. And that’s never a good look.

So play it cool and send two lines at most.

5. Don’t overthink

If I met her in real life, I’m big on texting her while she’s standing right next to me. It’s a great opportunity to set the tone and already get the conversation started. This way you don’t need to overthink about what to say, since you technically already started texting.

Here are some of my favorite lines to use in these moments:

• “My god, that man next to you is gorgeous.”
• “I can’t believe we’re talking on two platforms at the same time already. This is intense.”
• “Hey, Rosa. Do you know what I liked most about meeting you?”

She’ll be CRAZY curious and ask you what that might be. I usually go with one of two routes: a slight tease or a compliment. You can find my exact lines and a video of my explaining them, right here for free.

That way you’ll trigger all sorts of fun feelings inside of her. And if you can make her feel stuff, then science (as well as my own experience) says she can develop feelings for you.

How do you keep the conversation going after the first text? 5 Tips

1. Maintain emotional momentum

Here’s a great way to keep her invested in you after the first text.

Don’t play hard to get.

Here’s where most men mess up, they believe replying too fast comes across as needy. So they make her wait.

But if it takes her hours to hear back from you, you’ll never build up emotional momentum. Because when it takes half a day, all the excitement she felt from your previous message has largely vanished.

At the start of your courtship, you want to keep your text exchanges relatively fast. Yes, you can make her wait a few hours here and there. But I also recommend you have a few constant back-and-forths of about 10 -15 minutes each.

After a few of those exchanges, she’ll start to like you. And that’s when you can slow down your messages.

As long as you don’t forget to meet up in real life too.

2. Use other people’s content

If the conversation is crawling down to a halt, the solution is simple. Give her a juicy shot of laughter and giggles.

I’m a fan of the next technique.

Then follow up your text with a hilarious meme, video, or cute fluffy critter.

Most people, and especially women, can’t resist a young fluffer like this. It’s the ultimate emotional hack.

Try it for yourself. For more tips, check my next article:

• How to tkeep the Tinder conversation going (15 screenshot examples)

3. Keep it light-hearted

If you don’t follow up your icebreaker in the right way, it doesn’t matter how good your first text was.

Where does it typically go wrong?

Guys send her predictable or deep questions that are better suited for face-to-face conversation. Talking about where she lives and how many siblings she has is perfectly okay in person. But it’s a death sentence over text.

Your goal over text is to make her excited to meet up with you. And one of the best ways to achieve that is by keeping things fun and light.

In other words, sprinkle in somebanter.

Let me give you some examples.

• When she said something that surprised you: “You don’t like chocolate milk?? Wow I didn’t know I was talking to a savage”.
• When she uses a swear: “Hey be careful now! My mom reads my messages”.
• When she compliments you: “O, behave. Not until we’re married.”

4. Be a real person

It’s natural to want to impress someone you’re interested in. But that quickly leads to putting on an act.

If you ever catch yourself being overly agreeable, putting in tons of effort, and seeking constant validation, it’s time to hit the breaks. Because you’re playing a character. And if she has any social intelligence, which most women do, she’ll recognize it and be turned off.

So try your best to be yourself.

Don’t overthink every move, don’t be afraid to share your opinions, and don’t always try to be liked.

If you can trust that you’re fun and attractive, so will she.

5. End on an open-ended question

If you follow the tips from this article, you’ll have incredibly fun and playful conversations.

Conversations that most women will love. But don’t make the mistake of thinking you should only send hilarious and flirty texts.

Be sure to keep things chill too.

Did you just send a series of emotional texts? Then it can be good to follow up with a casual question:

• “How’s your day been so far?”
• “How’s Anne doing today?”
• “What are you going to have for dinner?”

Now you’re showing that the bar for good conversation is pretty low. That lets her relax and makes her want to talk to you at any time.

If all you do is have super witty and clever convos, then she might feel a little intimidated. Replying to your texts then more easily feels like homework.

So be sure to make it easy for her to get back to you.

• 100+ Tinder questions that actually work

How do you set up the date after the first text?

It’s never a good idea to text back and forth for too long. It might feel fun, but you won’t know if there’ll be fireworks until you actually meet up in person. So all the messages you send her should ultimately contribute to your ultimate goal: getting her interested in seeing you face to face.

That’s why you want to ask her out when she’s on an emotional high.

Recognizing she’s having a good time is pretty easy. Is she replying fast, asking questions, and spamming emojis and “LOL”s? Then she’s most likely down to meet you.

Here’s an easy way to ask her out:

• “You’re pretty fun. Let’s see if you can keep up the banter in person too. What’s your schedule looking like next week Thursday and Friday?”

If she’s into it, establish the exact time and location too.

Just be sure to hold onto the same or similar texting habits as before. It’s weird to go completely silent after planning the date. It’ll make her think that you don’t want to see her after all.

For more tips, check out the next article:

• 9 Simple ways to keep a conversation going over text

How to text a girl for the first time – Summary

When reaching out to a girl for the first time, don’t reintroduce yourself. Instead, assume you made a positive impression and remind her of your connection.

Once she’s happy to hear from you, it’s important to match your texting style to your personality and stay authentic.

Keep your initial texts concise and maintain emotional momentum with frequent light-hearted banter. And when things start to feel a little over the top, be sure to ask simple, everyday questions to encourage simple conversation.

Obviously, there will be times when you won’t know what to say. That’s normal and totally okay.

Especially, if you have my 10 texts that always work. You can use them in all sorts of situations to get your conversation back on track and towards the date.

Find my free 10 texts by clicking the big button below. If you press it now, you’ll also get my most powerful texting technique to get her addicted to your texts, called the Personality Slice.

Try it out for yourself.

Enjoy.

Blessings,
Louis Farfields

 

 

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