So you met a girl that you like and you want to contact her…
The only question on your mind right now is: how to text a girl for the first time?
In this article you’ll get everything you need to make sure she responds to your text.
So the two of you have a flirty conversation that ends in a date.
Notice: If you’re looking for ways to text a opener on dating apps like Tinder, Happn and Bumble. Then check out #this article about opening lines for dating apps.
Here’s what you get:
- How to text a girl for the first time and get a text back in 60 minutes
- The #1 success ingredient to include in every first text
- What mismatch there is in your texts when you text her after meeting her in person
- Finally a clear answer: WHEN you should text a girl for the first time
- 3 Screenshot examples so you get easy inspiration for a fun first message
- My coach’s trick to make foreign girls LOVE you
- What to send her if you don’t remember much from the real life first meeting
- Much more…
Important: Quickly letting you know I found the best opener EVER. Its psychologically irresistible to ignore. I made a video explaining how to use it and it's 'clickbait-principle' with screenshot examples. Check it out here.
Tip 1: The biggest mistake that makes her NOT respond
We’re starting off with how most men sabotage themselves, decreasing their chances of getting a fun reply to nearly zero.
If this is the ONLY thing you’ll learn from this article, it will already make your texting life much easier.
Because without noticing, most men already throw the towel in the ring before the game has even begun.
Average Joe ran into a girl he really liked. He managed to gather all his courage, and approached her. After a bit of good ol’ chit chat, the girl gave her number to Joe.
Now what does the average Joe text her later that day?
There are a number of terrible things to text.
I’ll give you five bad examples, so you’ll avoid them!
This one has to be my absolute favorite:
Think about it.
What does this message communicate?
This is the subtext:
“Hey, this is Joe, you’ve probably already forgotten me, that happens to me all the time. I assume I’m just not that memorable of a person, so let me check in with you first, before I actually send a fun message. Please text back :)”
Doesn’t sound very confident, does it?
Three more examples of Joe not knowing how to text a girl for the first time:
What is his mistake?
Look at the three text examples and try to tell me what he is doing wrong.
You might say “he is asking boring questions”.
And this is not a bad answer.
You might say “he doesn’t create much emotion”.
And this is a slightly better answer.
But let’s go one level deeper.
There’s a more FUNDAMENTAL mistake being made here.
What Joe is doing, is rebuilding the connection. All the way from scratch.
But he already met her in real life. Face to face.
Joe already is sitting on a massive treasure, packed with information from real life. This gold is more info than one could possible get from a Tinder profile for example (or any other online dating profile, for that matter.)
So, I’ll hand you a blueprint for a perfect first message that gets her smiling when she checks her phone.
Tip 2: Use this trick to make an emotional impact
I found one simple shortcut to creating a good connection with the girl that you like.
And it doesn’t even take a lot of work.
While Average Joe is either cockblocking himself with his boring first text, or rebuilding the conversation from scratch…
…you, my friend, will take the shortcut.
See, you don’t need to rebuild the connection. She already gave you her number. All you need to do now is REMIND her of the connection you had face to face.
Now if you’re wondering what to text a girl for the first time…
You could repeat something either of you said before.
…there’s one crucial factor here.
One ‘slight detail’ that will make or break your texting interaction. I’ll explain it to you with an example.
Some of the beginners that just start to apply my tips, tend to make the same mistake.
They see some lines that work well, and they use them regardless of context.
Here’s a conversation a customer named Frank had.
This was his first text:
First of all, I told him to use correct grammar. His first text makes him look like he doesn’t know how humans build sentences. It’s like me saying, “Louis, we’re going to the next tip now.”
Secondly, his second text isn’t a bad line per se. In fact it can work quite well, but there’s a better version. I’ll give you an text message example very soon in this article.
But the main issue here is this:
His tone of voice in the texts is totally different than it was in real life.
This guy doesn’t use these cocky to-the-point type of sentences when they’d met.
Yet, over text, he’s suddenly all suave like his name is James Bond. With some of Conor McGregor’s cockiness in the mix.
The girl you’re texting feels this incongruence, and it turns her off.
There’s a mismatch between real life, and texting.
He learned a valuable lesson that day.
And thanks to his heroic sacrifice, so did you.
So remember: if you manage to text in the same style as you talked to her in person, you’ll evoke the same emotions she felt when she met you. That’s one piece of the puzzle of what to text a girl for the first time.
To avoid you from mismatching, I’m going to give you some text examples.
Tip 3: Examples of how to text a girl you just met
So, what exactly do you text the girl you just met?
If you do it wrong, she’ll never respond.
And if you do it right, you kickstart a fun interaction that leads to a date.
In the last tip we agreed you need to avoid creating a mismatch.
So, more specifically, if the vibe in real life was fun, then you send her something funny.
Let’s say that you were at a bar, and when you met each other you talked about Game of Thrones. Send her this:
Not a Game of Thrones fan? Then you won’t get this one.
But the point is that you don’t even need to text her some lines, you can send her a meme. A meme says more than a thousand, well, 17… boring words.
If you had a more flirty vibe when you met her, then you should send her something flirty.
If you had a more cocky vibe when you met her, then you should send her something cocky.
And I have a extremely cocky first text message, and it’s good.
So good I don’t want just anyone to ruin its reputation. So I made it one of my 10 copy pastable lines that are included in my TextGod Toolkit. You can get it for free at the click of a button, here.
Tip 4: When to text a girl for the first time
You’ll be relieved.
Because I will give you a clear answer on the everlasting discussion ‘when to text her’?
You might have heard of this tip…
You might even call this tip LE-GEN-
(wait for it)
Barney Stinson his 3-day-rule.
He is even getting Jesus involved.
So does this Bro Code tip work?
Well, I’d say you are making a mistake of biblical proportions if you follow his texting rule for guys.
Why not do the complete opposite?
Text her while she’s still standing next to you.
It’s a great opportunity to make her laugh over text for the first time.
Or a personal favorite:
Make sure she sees and reads the text, and then just act super casual. Laughs guaranteed.
Here’s a trick one of my coaches is wild about:
Whenever we are abroad and he meets a girl, he tries to set up some instant mini dates.
(He basically goes for a walk or a quick coffee with them right after exchanging phone numbers during daygame.)
Then what he does, is he asks her to teach him a couple sentences in the local language.
Then he shoots her a voice message where he rambles some of those words, while she’s still walking next to him.
This guy knows what he’s doing.
- He shows interest in her and her culture (he’s obsessed with learning new languages)
- He’s making her laugh with his not-so-accurate pronunciation of the new words
- When she later replays those voice messages, she get sucked right back into the great feelings she felt when she was giggling right when they met.
How can she ever resist texting him back the next time he hits her up?
Plottwist: She can’t.
Alright, enough about my coach’s wicked ways, let’s look at an example from a student of mine.
Tip 5: How to text a girl you’ve just met, a screenshot example
Let’s make sure you don’t have to feel frustrated and annoyed because you lost the cute girl you just met, after the first text.
I’ll show you an example that one of my students just sent me.
He’s been using the tips I give you in this article, mixed with tips from my TextGod Toolkit.
Alright, let’s talk about what exactly happened.
Step 1: He told her it was great to meet her, and used her name.
Step 2: He references to something from the conversation. A storm was approaching as he met this stunning girl. It’s one of the things they briefly talked about.
Step 3: Completely optional, but fitting here, he sent a video of a lightning strike accompanied by a rolling thunder. Filmed right from his apartment, safe from the rain.
Now she knows you remembered her name, and you remember what the two of you talked about.
Besides, referencing back to the initial conversation, brings back the emotions she felt back then.
So, did it work? Did she text back?
And this is where my student starts applying techniques from my workshop. It’s more risky stuff. But often very rewarding.
He makes a sexual joke about the storm, and sets a different tonality for the rest of the conversation.
I have another technique for you, and it’s completely free. Yet extremely valuable.
Let’s look at it in the next tip.
Tip 6: Use the best tested opener (highest success rate)
What if you had the power to successfully open any conversation?
Those you meet online, and those you meet in real life. Having all the girls you like text you back…
If you’re wondering how to text a girl for the first time, then you’ll love me for what I’m about to give you.
It’s called the Clickbait Opener.
I invented it to start off Tinder conversations… and it’s one of my most copied techniques.
…but it works on any online dating app and on any texting app.
We just change the original wording slightly.
The original version sounds like this:
A screenshot from the free video you’re about to get
Now this line can be fine-tuned to making it even more impactful, depending on the girl you’re talking to. More on that in a second. But anyway, that’s the standard version.
Now if you’ve met a girl face to face, you can change my Clickbait Opener to this version:
The main thing here is that she will be curious to find out what you are talking about. Very curious.
Often times she’ll respond with texts along the likes of:
Bang! An easy and powerful way to start the interaction.
Now, of course, the crucial part lies in what you follow up with.
I have two messages I usually follow up with.
One is a slight diss, pushing her away.
The second message comes right after, and pulls her back in with a genuine compliment.
This way you make her feel all sorts of emotions, right from the get go.
And according to research, and according to 10+ years of me heavily binging online dating… the following became very clear.
Emotions are the root cause of what makes people take ACTION. This also applies to dating. May it be her responding to your text, her deciding to agree on your date invitation, or her leaning in for the first kiss.
And because I’m feeling generous as ever, I’m giving away both follow-up texts. Also, did you remember I just told you this standard version of the Clickbait Opener makes an even stronger impact if you adapt it to the girl you’re talking to?…
…that too, am I going to give to you. You can watch it all in my secret YouTube video right here. Enjoy!
Tip 7: Don’t listen to random ‘experts’ online
Don’t EVER do, what you’re about to read in this tip. It’s the fastest way to losing a girl forever.
She’ll find you a softie, a pussboi, and a cuck. All at once, times 69.
Someone sent me a link to a site that gives advice for situations like “how to text a girl for the first time”.
Here’s what the “ExPeRt” said:
“Sending a poem is also a nice thing to do. We all appreciate some good verses. You might want to include a voice recording of you reading it. This also works with boys, so its not gender specific. You can be sure they will answer with either a return-poem, or an aesthetic picture of a sunset.”
Here’s a vomit bag for you. I threw up so quickly after reading that post, that I couldn’t grab the waste bag.
You know what the sad part is?
Posts like this actually get read by thousands of guys.
Imagine a guy having gathered all his courage to approach a girl. Things went well and he now has her number.
He wants to know what to text her after meeting her, and now he uses this example…
Great “advice” from the “expert”.
Any sort of horrible texts like the one above, can ACTUALLY WORK great for you, if you bring them with a clear note of sarcasm.
Instead of coming across as a guy who isn’t in tune with his masculinity, you’re suddenly a man who:
- Knows what attractive behavior is and what isn’t
- Isn’t afraid of purposely making a fool out of himself
- Has a good sense of humor
Enough mocking other people.
Let’s get back to advice that actually works.
So you never have to wonder how to text a girl for the first time again.
Tip 8: How to keep the conversation going
Let’s talk about a texting technique that gets her really INVESTED in you. So that she wants to keep the conversation with you going, and doesn’t even think about walking away from you.
What I’m going to tell you know might sound counter-intuitive…
…but trust me, it’s powerful.
I want you to understand how emotional momentum works.
The first thing to know about emotional momentum, is that you can’t achieve it by casually texting your girls every now and then.
Emotional momentum builds up when text exchanges are going at a rapid pace. Coming closer to a real time conversation.
And that’s where most men immediately fuck up.
Here’s the common belief about how fast you should text back:
“Not too fast. Better make her wait a few hours. Otherwise you’ll come across as very needy and desperate. You have to make her wait for your texts.”
The thing with this sort of advice is, that it isn’t complete bullshit. But it’s not going to help you get good results.
This sort of advice gives you only part of the puzzle.
Because yes, if you’re going to text back at the speed of light whenever she slides in your inbox, you WILL come across as desperate. Or at the very least like someone who has his phone in hand 24/7.
Here’s what I want you to try: Don’t get in your head about TIME so much. As long as you don’t text back lightning fast every time, you’re good. Instead try focussing on the emotion you get across.
Last thing I’m telling you about timing, is that you want to be faster at the start. This is when you’re building up that emotional momentum.
Just think about Tinder conversations that die down because they start off so SLOWLY.
Just 1 text a day on Tinder isn’t getting anyone very excited.
For more tips on keeping a Tinder conversation going, check out my article.
Tip 9: How to text someone you haven’t talked to in a while
If there’s a girl that you like and you haven’t talked to in a while…
…then be careful. She’s slipping away from you and will soon be gone for all of eternity.
I’m going to keep this tip fairly short. And give you one easy way to rekindle dormant conversations.
The best way to come back into those, is on a positive note.
Give her a juicy shot of laughter and giggles.
Then instantly shoot her a second text with the most recent hilarious meme you saw. Or, my special weapon, a video of a cute pupper stunting around.
Like this one I found after a quick ‘fluffy puppy’ google search.
Most people, and especially women, can’t resist a young fluffer like this.
It’s the ultimate emotional hack.
Try it for yourself.
Tip 10: The secret to conversations that lead to dates
In this tip, you’ll learn how you can be as seductive as the sexiest girls you’ve talked to.
So the next time you talk to a girl, you’ll have a strong impact and hit her where it hurts. Or where it feels good. You get my point.
Have you ever actively thought why some girls drive you so crazy, in a good way?
It can be all sorts of little things:
- The way she flips her hair
- The way she walks
- The way she giggles when you make a joke
- The way she smiles
- The way she is genuinely interested in the subjects you like to talk about
But sometimes… it’s exactly what she says. Her choice of words that just hit you like a jolt of lightning.
And therein lies some hidden gold that you can learn from.
Any good advertising copywriter has learnt to make thousands of dollars with the following:
He is painstakingly AWARE of the moments when someone sparks a strong emotion in him.
He makes a mental note. Well, and even more notes…
Because any good copywriter has what they call a swipe file. That’s a document where they keep lines and whole texts they like from other copywriters. These are then be used to inspire them when writing great texts of their own.
You already know where this is going, right?
Why don’t you do the same?
Keep the texts that work in your swipe file.
So next time you’re texting a girl that you like and she says something that has a big impact on you. Ask yourself:
Can this line also have a great impact on others? Would it work for me when texting with girls?
If the answer is yes, add it to your collection.
I have some absurdly effective texts in my personal arsenal that I borrowed from the girls I chatted with.
Now I’m not going to let you start off with an empty swipe file. I’m not THAT cruel.
I already made one for you. It has 10 lines that are all very effective in specific situations. Download them for free here. and when you come across more of the good stuff, you can add it to your list.
Oh and btw, when you download my 10 lines, you also get a great opener with it that works on any dating platform. And to finish it off, I also added a Profile Checklist to fine tune your Tinder profile. You can also use it when posting on social media, just to make sure your new post has the ladies’ hearts racing.
And don't forget your download below ;)
This so great
Great and awesome
Wow nice tips
As a general rule if she randomly doesn’t get back to you for ages (e.g. 20 minutes) you should make her wait at least 40 minutes (double the time) before texting her back again.
I went texe girls
wow great tips