7 Steps from Tinder Match to Getting Her Number – Convo Breakdown

You’ve got yourself a Tinder match. Congrats!

In today’s article, you’ll discover how to go from matching to getting her number and setting up the date.

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Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

Step 1: Send your Tinder match a unique opener

If she doesn’t send you the first text, it’s your job to break the ice and grab her attention.

What’s the best way to do that?

The perfect opener

The personalized opener.

That’s a fancy term I invented that basically means, “Send her something unique and tailored to her profile that will switch on all the right emotions.”

How do you know if your message will do the trick? Trial and error.

Here’s a pretty horrible personalized opener that I sent to my Tinder match when I was drunk. Or maybe I was sober. Who knows.

IMPORTANT: Don’t want to get banned on Tinder? Then don’t use this line. It was a seriously bad idea.

But luckily for me, my gamble paid off. To be fair, I took a good look at her profile and I was pretty sure she’d appreciate this kind of humor.

Although my line was risky, it does do two things exceptionally well:

  • It makes me stand out from the rest.
  • It sets the expectation that I’m a playful guy.

What’s the biggest mistake I can make right now?

To fall back on the traditional boring Tinder questions:

How are you?

Are you from here?

Nice profile. What do you do for work?

Check out this article where we explore in detail how to start your Tinder conversation:

Step 2: Keep your conversation playful

Once the conversation is moving, it’s crucial that you understand what has to happen next.

Otherwise, the conversation will likely die out. How do you keep her engaged?

By keeping it playful.

Boring conversations vs good conversations

Just try to put a smile on her face in whatever way you can, without making it look like you’re trying.

Talking in a continuous string of jokes, teases, and compliments makes you look like you’re trying too hard. So don’t go overboard and stay chill.

Here’s what I sent my Tinder match next after she ironically thanked me for my lewd opener.

I obviously know that my line offered her little enlightenment. That’s why I act super sweet and generously, and put spaces between all the characters of “anytime.”

Then, I ask if she wants to learn anything else. Why?

Because I’m following my own advice and keeping it playful.

And asking if she wants to learn anything from me is funny because I haven’t taught her anything yet.

Holy Tip:

A great way to build a strong connection with your Tinder match is by creating an inside joke.

  • Telling a joke once is funny.
  • Repeating a joke twice is mega funny.
  • Repeat a joke thrice and it’s a special inside joke that only you will have with her.

Check out this article to learn more about playful conversations on Tinder:

Step 3: Create togetherness

Pay attention now. This step is incredibly powerful in making her think of you as more than a Tinder match.

Create the idea of togetherness.

Instead of sending texts about ‘you’ and ‘me,’ talk about the two of you as ‘us’ and ‘we.’

Powerful stuff. Especially when you consider that the average guy will start firing the same interview questions she’s seen 100 times before.

That poor match of yours will throw up in her mouth when she sees them again. That’s why you will be using the following three phrases:

  • We (We’re going to bully penguins together.)
  • Together (We’re going to drink a liter of coffee together and hyper-excitedly visit a museum.)
  • Our (Our child would never do that. It would be too beautiful for that.)

Let’s look at my Tinder match conversation. We last asked her if she wanted to learn anything else from me.

And she replied:

Headstand on a unicycle?

How would you answer that message knowing that you want to create a sense of togetherness?

This is what I said:

I told her: Give US two hours TOGETHER and this skill is yours.

It’s way easier setting up a date if she’s already imagined the two of you doing things together.

Step 4: Make it easy for her to talk to you

This may surprise you, but it’s true.

Your bio is just as important in your conversations as it is to get matches.

The right bio can:

  • Put a smile on her face.
  • Motivate her to send you the first text.
  • Make her like you so much that she already wants to meet up with you.

Here’s one of my most successful bios that gave me a lot of success with my Tinder matches.

In this old Tinder bio of mine, I’m boasting that I won gold on the SWC (Spooning World Championships) three times. In 2015, 2016, as well as 2017. (I wrote it in 2016).

Does this bio make everyone laugh? Nope.

Does it make a large amount of women chuckle? Yes.

Does this bio make it easier for your Tinder match to talk to you? Yes.

Tinder match: Saw that you won the spooning world championship. Small spoon?

Make sure your Tinder profile does some of the hard work for you now and then. It makes life on Tinder just a bit easier.

Have a look at this article to learn more about building a great profile:

Step 5: Use emotional language

The next technique will make you more fun to talk to than all the other guys you’re competing with. And it’s so easy that you can use it right now!


If you’ve read everything so far, you’ve seen me use this technique FOUR times on your screen already.

Look at the next screenshot so you can see me in action again.

  • A n y t i m e
  • Mastered it when I was three
  • I am ALWAYS the big spoon
  • At least 97% of the time

All four are exaggerations. Serious exaggerations.

They’re exaggerated in terms of:

  • Writing style (“a n y t i m e” and “ALWAYS”).
  • Quantity (“when I was 3” and “97% of the time”).
  • Content of the message.

If I didn’t exaggerate, it would have looked something like this:

  • A n y t i m e → No problem.
  • Mastered it when I was 3 → I can do that.
  • I am ALWAYS the big spoon → I’m not the small spoon.
  • At least 97% of the time → Most of the time.


Do you notice how the conversation would be way more boring without these exaggerations?

Perfect. Now you’re able to sneak this technique into your conversations as well.

It’s crazy huh, how we can extract that many tips from only one (1!) screen with my Tinder match?

Step 6: Make her chase you

Let me show you how I make my Tinder match chase me.

My profile mentions that I’m the Spooning Champion. Teasingly, she asked if I was the small spoon.

90% of the time, the male rests his front against his partner’s behind. Like a warm blanket, he makes his girlfriend feel safe. Him being the big spoon and her being the small spoon.

My Tinder match is asking if I’m the small spoon.

I already told her that I’m ALWAYS the big spoon.

To which she responded:

What a coincidence. I am always the big spoon as well.

There are obviously 101 ways to respond to this, my dear reader.

But we’re going to send her a text that makes her want to keep my attention and chase me.

So to be extra clear: She’s teasing and challenging us by saying that she’s always the big spoon.

Some men find such small disagreements uncomfortable. But really, it’s your best opportunity to make her like you even more.

Holy Tip:

If a girl is teasing you, you’re probably on the right track.

“Teasing the misses, is asking for kisses” is the closest I can get to an actually insightful Dutch saying.

And the opposite is also true, “Teasing boys is asking them to play with their toys.”

OK. Time to text back.  Here’s my reply:

We’ll never work out if you want to be the big spoon

Our Tinder match caves and shows that she has no intentions of letting us go:

Being big spoon only 3% of the time is fine for her, she says. She concedes. Sweet.

By showing that you have standards and won’t allow yourself to be treated a certain way (even if it’s in fun) shows that you’re attractive and fun.

Step 7: Exchange numbers when emotions are high

One common question I get asked is: How to ask for a girls number on Tinder.

Most guys look to exchange numbers at the worst possible time. Like when she’s starting to lose interest. That’s just awful. Because she’s not even in the mood to talk to you, let alone give you something as valuable as her number.

The best time to get her number is after she’s shown you multiple signs of interest.

In my case, she said that she’s fine being the little spoon 3% of the time. That shows me that she’s willing to spoon with me.

BOOM. First clear sign of interest. But I like to have a bit more reassurance before I pop the big question, so I wait for another strong signal and suggest a spooning session, which may or may not include some kissing.

She seems down. PERFECT. At this point, I’m positive that she wants to see me.

That said, I’m not leaving you without giving you a look at the end of my Tinder conversation.

How do you smoothly get her phone number, before switching to iMessage or Whatsapp?

If you do your job right, girls will OFTEN suggest meeting up.

That’s what happened to me.

“Sounds absolutely lOVely,” I respond, when she proposes to grab a coffee tomorrow.

That’s also the moment when I seal the deal and go for the number.

This is where details make a world of difference.

Because actually, I’m not asking for her phone number at all with my text. It feels more like an announcement than a question.

What’s your phone number? I’ll send you the logistics on Whatsapp.

Compare these two for a second:

  • Can I have your phone number?
  • What’s your phone number?

It doesn’t look like a big difference. But the difference is immense.

Asking for her number makes you seem like you’re unsure if she wants to meet up. It feels a little insecure.

But by asking what her number IS, you’re assuming she’ll give you her number AND that she wants to see you on a date. That’s a man of confidence, right there.

“Ok, but what about all those cases where she doesn’t propose a date, Louis?”

Great question!

If you go back to the above convo where she shares that she mentions she’s a marketing assistant, you say:

Sounds absolutely lOVely.

What’s your phone number? I’m texting you a 10/10 date proposal.

Bam. It’s that simple.

And that’s how your life’s been enriched with 7 tips, or 7 steps, or a combination of tips and steps…  ah it doesn’t matter. You’ve become a wiser man.

Want to become even wiser and get more success on Tinder than 90% of guys?

Be sure to click the big gold button below and use my 10 Texts That Always Work. And be sure to check out my ‘personality slice’ technique to get her hooked to your texts.


Louis Farfields

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