How to Flirt on Tinder: 15 Techniques (30+ Flirty texts)

You have a great match, but how do you flirt on Tinder?

How do you stay away from the boring conversations and actually make it fun and flirty?

In this article you’ll learn how to successfully flirt on Tinder with 15 powerful techniques.

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What is flirting? How to flirt on Tinder and other dating apps

First things first. What does it mean to flirt? An important question, because so many people get this wrong.

Flirting is the subtle art of showing interest in a playful and challenging way. You show interest and at the same time, you’re a challenge.


Typical flirting involves teasing or disapproving her in a fun and playful way, combined with occasionally rewarding things she says.

Flirting achieves several things:

  • It triggers the right emotions.
  • It’s fun and playful.
  • It shows interest without being needy or try-hard.
  • It challenges the other person to try and win you over.

Flirting is a dance between two people. If it’s not reciprocated, it doesn’t work. It becomes creepy or weird.

Flirting is NOT just giving a compliment, being kind, finding commonalities, or asking plain questions.

These things are also important to a certain degree, especially later in the conversation. They build trust and connection. However, with just trust and connection, you’ll end up in the friend zone.

It’s flirting that creates physical attraction – an essential part of online dating and attraction.

Check out this video if you want 7 quick secrets on how to flirt on Tinder and other dating apps.

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When should you flirt and how hard?

This is crucial. As you read above, flirting happens between two people. You can only flirt to a certain extent if the other person doesn’t flirt back.

First, let’s look at when to flirt.

Flirting is a way of communicating. It’s a way of being. A state of mind.  It’s the most fun way of interacting with others.

I am saying this because when you talk to someone you’re interested in, there is no wrong time to flirt.

Flirting creates attraction. And you always want to keep building attraction, even when you’re in a relationship. Never stop doing that.

There are, of course, moments when you’re discussing something more serious and that you tone it done a notch. That’s normal. And the longer you know each other, the less you will probably flirt.

So the next question is, how hard should you flirt?

You want to start flirting instantly, from the first message you send your new Tinder match.

However, heavy flirting is risky. You can come off rude or too interested.

Your match first has to get to know you a little bit, feel some attraction for you, and understand that you’re a fun and flirty person. Then she’ll know how to interpret your flirts.

So you start with subtle flirts. And if she reciprocates your flirts, you can become more and more flirty. You can make them more extreme, meaning you show more interest and push her away harder.

Boring conversations vs good conversations

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1. Send gifs

A great way to flirt is by sending the right GIFs.

Texting has tons of advantages. But its weakness is that it lacks sensation. There’s no taste, smell, sound, or touch.

The more senses you can activate, the easier it is to seduce someone.

That’s where GIFs come in. Even though a GIF is a few seconds of soundless video on repeat… it has a couple of priceless elements:

  • Facial expressions.
  • Body language.
  • Cute animals.
  • Delicious food.

A well-placed gif specific to your situation can be the difference between her replying enthusiastically with you or getting left on seen.

2. Tease with affection

Most guys have incredibly boring conversations. And you’re about to get the easiest technique to fix this.


But… a beginner flirt will often accidentally insult when teasing. That only pushes her away.

If you want to tease her in a way that pulls her toward you, do this:

Be affectionate with your teases.

That way you can joke around without offending her.

Suppose she says something silly or has something slightly embarrassing in her profile photos.

Woah it looks like a grenade went off in your bedroom

Your picture with the cats is so dorky, made me giggle a little

Here’s an example where a TextGod mentee goes affectionate first and teases after.

affectionate first teasing after

Sometimes it can be that easy. If your teases never land, make sure the girl is interested in talking to you in the first place.

3. Suggest she’s into you

Sometimes a girl will accidentally set you up for the perfect flirt. Here’s how to capitalize like a pro.

Suppose she texts you first thing in the morning or evening with one of these classics:

Good morning!


Good night!

While all she probably meant was to be friendly and greet you, you can make it seem like she’s really into you.

Little early to be hitting on me Sarah, the sun’s barely even up

Awww… am I the last thing on your mind before you go to bed? 🌚

Even if she doesn’t feel that way, it’s always best if you assume she likes you.

In case she rejects your playful suggestion, just playfully hold your ground and then switch the subject to something else.

I think it’s really cute that you’re hiding your crush on me

Anyway (bla bla bla)

4. Pretend you’re a couple

Do this right and she won’t be able to get enough of you.

Act out that you’re a couple.

The whole point of this roleplay is that it’s premature. That’s what makes it charming. You’ve never been on a date with her and yet you’re acting like you’re wildly intimate.

Plus, if you go with the next text, you’re suggesting she’s at fault.

I really didn’t want to bring it up today

But I’ve noticed that ever since we got married, you never take me to the movies anymore!

Although it’s only roleplay, it may soon be reality.

Then you can ask her out using line 8 from the 10 texts that always work.

Get it for free here and give it a try.

5. Tell her she’s trouble (in a positive way)

As long as it doesn’t have crazy consequences, we all like the idea of getting into trouble. Girls included.

So give her the opportunity. Here are 3 example texts:

I’m supposed to be working and yet you keep seducing me with your cute texts

You’re even more trouble than I thought

I feel like you’re going to be a danger to my sleep schedule

And using your voice (in a voicenote) is always extra powerful.

6. Be vulnerable

This tip will ensure she sees you as the quality guy she has been looking for.

Women often complain that men on Tinder are dull. You might feel the same way! Aren’t most Tinder convos a tad repetitive?

You can be the one to stand out! The breath of fresh hair in a room that stinks of shallowness.

How? Well, there are many ways. But one that’s easier for you to try is by showing vulnerability.

Now before you share your life’s worst moments with your new match… wait a second. Just give someone a sneak peek into your private space.

What are you up to? What do you care about? What do you think about? What’s happening in your house right NOW?

Almost everyone on Tinder is incredibly guarded. Be a little more vulnerable and women will love you for it.

Here’s an example of one of our TextGod Mentees using this principle in action.

vulnerable over text

7. Ask daring questions

Are you guilty of asking the same questions that every other guy does?

How was your day?

What are you up to?

How’s it going?

Hey how are you?

Why are they boring?

They don’t make her feel anything.

She gets these messages all the time. All they do is tell her that you’re more of the same.

Instead, ask questions that are more thought-provoking or unique.

What’s the coolest thing you learned this week?

How would your best friend describe you using emojis?

Or go over the top with this question:

Would you rather be stung by 1000 bees or stomp on a kitten?

Or something spicy:

Would you rather receive or give oral?

(Careful, this last question is for when you’ve gotten to know her better.)

The point is, if you flirt using questions, they need to be a little crazy, interesting, unique, or over-the-top. Stand out. She’ll love you for it.

For more great questions to ask, check out our article below.

8. Voice what you like about her

This mistake is made by almost every man, and will almost always turn her off: Complimenting her looks.

If you think about it for a second, a compliment on her looks is skin-deep. She hasn’t worked to get it. She was just born with it.

Unoriginal jokes aside, women prefer to receive compliments on subjects that they take great pride in.

So compliment her actions, personality, or something she had to work for.

I really like how straightforward you are!

It’s so cool you’re into playing piano at a high level

You come up with the zaniest answers. I love it!

9. Dismiss her as a love interest

Here’s a scientifically proven way to flirt with your crush.

And it works for a simple scientific reason.

Playfulness is another form of humor, and humor, according to a study performed by evolutionary psychology, is the best way to flirt.

You hate hummus? Wow

We’re so not right for each other


If you weren’t so tiny we could totally date

10. Playfully set boundaries

Here’s the only correct way to handle her leaving you on read.

Most guys do one of two things (or both).

  1. They get upset.
  2. They act like a pushover.

Neither is attractive.

But there’s a silver lining to all this.

If you don’t act butthurt and say something playful to set a boundary instead, she’ll likely respect you for it.

I’m not sure I can forgive you for this

You’ll have to buy me my chocolates now to make it up

Or you don’t like that she flaked on your date:

Ok but just remember Sarah, the second time you flake, you owe Louis a steak

11. Challenge her

If this is the ONLY tip you take away from this article, it will drastically improve your online dating life.

Most guys are way too safe in their conversations.

A fun, flirty way to ramp up your conversations, is by challenging her.

You’re such a player. I bet you say that to all the guys


I’m so disappointed in you. That was your prime opportunity to escalate our flirting with your response, but you hardcore failed. Can only give you a C+ in your flirting skills now

And lastly:

If you buy me drinks and shower me with compliments then MAYBE I’ll hold your hand when we hang out. Maybe

12. Use the language of desire

Her attraction for you will increase significantly when you use spicier language.

She doesn’t want you to see her as ‘nice.’ She wants to feel sexy, incredible, great, and amazing.

Can you blame her? So let her feel desired!

Sorry if this seems a little blunt

But I think that tattoo that’s just barely sticking out of your collar is elegant…and extremely sexy

IMPORTANT: Don’t overdo this, or you’ll seem desperate and creepy. A little goes a long way.

13. Reverse the roles

Here’s how you go from being the one chasing to the one being chased.

Most guys flirt with her, hit on her, and pursue her at every point in the conversation. This can be exciting for a girl if she already likes you. But when your interest isn’t deserved, it’s a big turnoff. And you’ll end up getting some form of this text:

Hey you’re a super nice guy, but I’m not really feeling it. Take care 🙂

Here’s how you prevent the friend zone: Shake things up a little and act like she’s the one hitting on you.

Reverse the roles.

You women are all the same, only thinking of one thing. Smh

Want to go a little more over the top?

Pffft, you’re only talking to me right now because of my luscious lady lumps

Go with this text if you’re more of a classy gal.

Sex on the first date? You have to wine and dine me first, Sarah. I’m a classy lady 💅

14. Misinterpret what she says

Here’s how you flirt like a pro by teasing and sexualizing at the same time.

Learn from this TextGod mentee: He makes an innocent comment about one of the dogs in her photo.

misinterpret over text

She then ramps up the spice level when she mentions that her dog is “too small for the job.”

Now, these situations aren’t going to happen all the time. But they are way more common than you think. You just need to pay attention and look for opportunities to misread what she’s saying.

Like this:

misinterpret over text

We take innocent bodybuilding slang of “cake” a.k.a. ass. And use it in the classic quote of letting people eat cake.

True romance at it’s finest. And with her response, you can tell that she loves me for it.

So try it for yourself to see how much more the girl likes you when you playfully misinterpret her texts.

15. The text she can’t resist

There is one thing that almost no woman can resist.

My clickbait opener.

Throw out this bad boy and then lure her into a flirty and fun conversation that’ll make her excited to see you.

Click the big gold button below and see a video of me showing off the power of this opener.



Louis Farfields

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