How to Flirt on Tinder: 15 Techniques (30+ Flirty texts)

You have a great match, but how do you flirt on Tinder? How do you stay away from the boring conversations and make it fun and flirty?

In this article, you’ll learn how to successfully flirt on Tinder with 15 powerful Tinder texting tips.

In this article:

• What is flirting?
• What does flirting do?
• When should you flirt?
• 30 Flirty Tinder messages
• 14 Great techniques for flirting on Tinder

More...

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What is flirting?

Flirting is the dance between building connection and breaking it just enough to create tension.

• You show warmth, interest, and curiosity (that’s the connection).
• Then you pull back a little by teasing, challenging, or going against the flow (that’s the break).

That back-and-forth is what creates tension and excitement.

But be careful! Too much connection feels friendly. Too much distance feels cold. Flirting and attraction sits right in the middle.

What is not flirting?

Flirting is NOT just giving compliments, being nice, finding common ground, or asking basic questions. Those things matter (they build trust and connection) but trust and connection alone don’t create attraction.

It’s flirting that adds tension, excitement, and physical attraction. 

What does flirting do?

Flirting does a few powerful things:

• It triggers the right emotions.
• It’s fun and playful.
• It shows interest without being needy or try-hard.
• It challenges the other person to try and win you over.

Want more tips? Check my next video:

When should you flirt?

Flirting is the most fun way to interact with someone. That’s why you want to flirt from the start! It says, “I’m not just here to talk about the weather, I’m going to actually make you feel something.”

30 Flirty Tinder messages

Here’s 30 great flirty Tinder messages. Remember, they don’t just randomly work out of the blue. They require the right vibe and context:

• Your picture with the cats is so dorky, made me giggle a little
• Awww… am I the last thing on your mind before you go to bed?
• I’m supposed to be working and yet you keep seducing me with your cute texts
• You’re even more trouble than I thought
• I feel like you’re going to be a danger to my sleep schedule
• How would your best friend describe you using emojis?
• You come up with the zaniest answers. I love it!
• We’re so not right for each other
• If you weren’t so tiny we could totally date
• You’ll have to buy me my chocolates now to make it up
• You’ve got that effortlessly cool vibe I find irresistible.
• I’m usually not this bold, but you’re worth it.
• I have a feeling we’d make a great team.
• Your profile is great, but I bet our conversations would be even better.
• I bet you look even better in person.
• You seem like the perfect mix of fun and adventure.
• Your profile exudes confidence; I find that very attractive.
• You seem like someone who could keep me on my toes.
• There’s a spark in your smile that’s hard to ignore.
• Your energy is contagious; I’d love to catch some of it.
• Can you guess my favorite pizza topping? Loser has to share something embarrassing about themselves.
• On a scale of 1 to America, how many guns did you fire after we matched?
• What’s the craziest dream you’ve ever had? I dreamt I got a butt transplant.
• If you could be any animal for a day, what would you be? I’m definitely feeling sloth right now.
• What’s your favorite conspiracy theory? I need a new one to obsess over.
• I’m planning to steal a penguin from the zoo and I need a getaway driver. You in?
• Let’s skip the bs. What’s something you wish more people knew about you.
• I have a feeling we’d make a great team. Partners in crime kind of vibe.
• You can have dinner with any fictional character. Who’s at the table?
• Tell me the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever done. I’ll try to one-up you.

14 Great techniques for flirting on Tinder

1. Tease with affection

Most guys tease in a way that accidentally insults her. They think they’re being playful, but it just puts her on the defensive.

The difference between a guy who turns her off and a guy who turns her on?
Warmth.

When you tease, do it with affection. Let her feel you actually like her while you joke around. That mix of fun and safety is what makes it flirtation instead of mockery.

• Omfg looks like a mini tornado hit your room. Glad to see you’re not perfect.
• Your picture with the cats is so dorky, made me giggle a little.

Here’s an example where a TextGod mentee goes affectionate first and teases after.

Sometimes it can be that easy. If your teases never land, make sure the girl is interested in talking to you in the first place.

• How to tell if someone doesn’t want to talk with you over text

2. Suggest she’s into you

Sometimes a girl unknowingly hands you the perfect setup. Like when she texts you “Good morning” or “Good night.”

She probably just means it politely, but you can turn it into playful tension. Try sending something like:

• Little early to be hitting on me, Sarah. The sun’s barely up.
• Awww… am I the last thing on your mind before you go to bed?

Even if she’s just being nice, assume she is into you. That confident frame makes the chat more fun.

And if she denies it? Keep the tease alive: “It’s adorable how hard you’re trying to hide your crush.”

Then smoothly pivot the topic. Confidence, play, and flow, that’s the formula.

3. Tell her she’s trouble (in a positive way)

As long as it doesn’t have crazy consequences, we all like the idea of getting into trouble. Girls included.

So give her the opportunity. Here are 3 example texts:

And using your voice (in a voicenote) is always extra powerful.

4. Pretend you’re a couple

Do this right and she won’t be able to get enough of you.

Act out that you’re a couple.

The whole point of this roleplay is that it’s premature. That’s what makes it charming. You’ve never been on a date with her and yet you’re acting like you’re wildly intimate.

Plus, if you go with the next text, you’re suggesting she’s at fault.

Although it’s only roleplay, it may soon be reality.

Then you can ask her out using line 8 from the 10 texts that always work.

Get it for free here and give it a try.

5. Be vulnerable

Most people on Tinder are all surface. Perfect smiles, generic bios, zero substance. It’s dullsville.

If you want to stand out, show a little realness. You don’t need to trauma-dump or share your darkest secrets. Just give her a glimpse into your world, something human, unscripted: you.

Talk about what’s actually happening around you. What you’re doing, thinking, or caring about in that moment.

Almost everyone hides behind a wall of perfection. Be the one who lets her in just a bit — and she’ll feel the difference instantly.

Here’s an example of one of our TextGod Mentees using this principle in action.

6. Ask daring questions

Are you guilty of asking the same questions that every other guy does?

Why are they boring?

They don’t make her feel anything.

She gets these messages all the time. All they do is tell her that you’re more of the same.

Instead, ask questions that are more thought-provoking or unique.

Or go over the top with this question:

Or something spicy:

(Careful, this last question is for when you’ve gotten to know her better.)

The point is, if you flirt using questions, they need to be a little crazy, interesting, unique, or over-the-top. Stand out. She’ll love you for it.

For more great questions to ask, check out our article below.

• 100+ Tinder questions that actually work

7. Voice what you like about her

This mistake is made by almost every man, and will almost always turn her off: Complimenting her looks.

If you think about it for a second, a compliment on her looks is skin-deep. She hasn’t worked to get it. She was just born with it.

Unoriginal jokes aside, women prefer to receive compliments on subjects that they take great pride in.

So compliment her actions, personality, or something she had to work for.

• 77 Compliments to send a girl over text

8. Dismiss her as a love interest

Here’s a scientifically proven way to flirt with your crush.

And it works for a simple scientific reason.

Playfulness is another form of humor, and humor, according to a study performed by evolutionary psychology, is the best way to flirt.

Or:

9. Playfully set boundaries

Here’s the only correct way to handle her leaving you on read.

Most guys do one of two things (or both).

1. They get upset.
2. They act like a pushover.

Neither is attractive.

But there’s a silver lining to all this.

If you don’t act butthurt and say something playful to set a boundary instead, she’ll likely respect you for it.

Or you don’t like that she flaked on your date:

10. Challenge her

If this is the ONLY tip you take away from this article, it will drastically improve your online dating life.

Most guys are way too safe in their conversations.

A fun, flirty way to ramp up your conversations, is by challenging her.

Or:

And lastly:

11. Use the language of desire

Her attraction for you will increase significantly when you use spicier language.

She doesn’t want you to see her as ‘nice.’ She wants to feel sexy, incredible, great, and amazing.

Can you blame her? So let her feel desired!

IMPORTANT: Don’t overdo this, or you’ll seem desperate and creepy. A little goes a long way.

• 7 Techniques to Arouse a Woman Over Text

12. Reverse the roles

Here’s how you go from being the one chasing to the one being chased.

Most guys flirt with her, hit on her, and pursue her at every point in the conversation. This can be exciting for a girl if she already likes you. But when your interest isn’t deserved, it’s a big turnoff. And you’ll end up getting some form of this text:

Here’s how you prevent the friend zone: Shake things up a little and act like she’s the one hitting on you.

Reverse the roles.

Want to go a little more over the top?

Go with this text if you’re more of a classy gal.

13. Misinterpret what she says

Here’s how you flirt like a pro by teasing and sexualizing at the same time.

Learn from this TextGod mentee: He makes an innocent comment about one of the dogs in her photo.

She then ramps up the spice level when she mentions that her dog is “too small for the job.”

Now, these situations aren’t going to happen all the time. But they are way more common than you think. You just need to pay attention and look for opportunities to misread what she’s saying.

Like this:

We take innocent bodybuilding slang of “cake” a.k.a. ass. And use it in the classic quote of letting people eat cake.

True romance at it’s finest. And with her response, you can tell that she loves me for it.

So try it for yourself to see how much more the girl likes you when you playfully misinterpret her texts.

14. The text she can’t resist

There is one thing that almost no woman can resist.

My clickbait opener.

Throw out this bad boy and then lure her into a flirty and fun conversation that’ll make her excited to see you.

Click the big gold button below and see a video of me showing off the power of this opener.

Enjoy.

Blessings,

Louis Farfields

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