12 Tips and Examples: How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text

You’ve got a great match or special person in your contact list. But you’ve got no clue how to flirt with her over text.

No worries.

I’m going to give you the best ways to flirt with someone so you’ll be on her mind the whole day.

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1. Steer clear of the predictable

Here’s an insight that every texting newbie misses:

Polite and courteous texts do more damage to her feelings for you than kryptonite hurts Superman.

Did you send any of the following texts lately?


How are you? 🙂

I hope you’re having a good weekend!

Classic mistakes.


They’re similar to the conversations she has with her nan. So it doesn’t get her excited.

If your goal is to seduce her, you have to keep things fresh and emotionally stimulating.

Making your civil messages more daring is already a good start. Here are some text examples of how to flirt with a girl over text, using common phrases as inspiration:

  • [Instead of ‘Hey’] “Waddup, freckles.”
  • [Instead of ‘How are you?’] “What kind of trouble have you got yourself into today?”
  • [Instead of ‘I hope you’re having a good weekend’] “Hope you don’t miss me too much this weekend ;).”

Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.

2. Speak your mind

Here comes one of the most overlooked ways to flirt:

Be your unfiltered self.

Once the typical guy likes a woman, he starts filtering his speech. He doesn’t want to scare her off by saying something she might not like.

So (without even knowing it), dudes will sand the rough edges off their texts before sending them.

Perhaps she just texted you to say that she accidentally put salt in her coffee instead of sugar.

Your inner monologue might be, “Haha, I see you’re a true blonde.” But what you end up replying is, “Damn, that sucks lol.”

Or maybe she just said that she loves a movie that you really don’t care for.

Your first reaction is, “You liked it? I thought it was complete dog shit haha!” But what you send back is, “It’s not my favorite, but I can see why you like it.”

Perhaps the difference seems insignificant to you. But sterilized texts RUIN the flirty vibes with your girl.

Having no position on anything makes you seem bland and dull. And that’s simply not attractive.

Did you check out the screenshot of the day yet? Daily screenshot

Learn from the funniest, flirtiest and best conversations of our coaches.

Check it out now!

3. Talk in terms of ‘us’

Another great flirting technique over text is creating the idea of ‘we’.

By using words like ‘us’, ‘we’, and ‘our’ you create a feeling like you’ve known each other forever.

  • “You’ve never been? We should totally go together sometime!”
  • “Just saw a dog poo in someone’s front yard. Our doggo would never do that. We’d have trained him to go in the potty.”
  • “They closed down Oriental City. How could they do that to us? ;(“

Just don’t use this lingo too early. Unless she already likes you, it’ll feel out of place.

4. Create an inside joke

One of my all-time favorite flirting techniques…

…callback humor.

If you’ve spent any time together in real life, I guarantee that you already have something funny that just the two of you will understand.

For example.

On a cold December night, Coach Dan went on a date with a girl who showed up with big woolly hat on her head. It also had a small down feather on it, so Coach Dan plucked it off her hat and then gave her the nickname, Fluff.

Do you have no such shared history? No problem. Use her interests and hobbies to create an inside joke.

One that I recommend all the time is to exclusively use reaction GIFs from her favorite movie or series. Suppose she’s into the show Modern Family and she just teased you, send her this.

Holy Tip:

One mega important thing about nicknames.

Do not give her a cute nickname. That’s something strictly for couples.

When you’re flirting, you want to pick silly nicknames, such as ‘geek’ or ‘goofball’.

4. Be sexually suggestive

It’s true that women are looking for an emotional connection, but most guys misunderstand what that means.

The two of you don’t have to be best friends forever and share the same interests.

You can base your emotional connection on sexual desire alone. A big part of flirting is subtly suggesting something naughty.

And it may not have anything to do with the two of you. It’s enough to create a sexual picture in her mind.

Let me give you some examples.

  • [When she just complimented you] “You’re totally falling in love with me ;)”
  • [When she sends you a wall of text “Aww… it’s cute when you try so hard.”
  • “What’s the last time  you went skinny dipping?”

See how there’s no mention of sex? It’s all indirect. And that gets the best results, because it allows her to fill in the blanks herself.

5. Seduce her with your energy

One of the best ways to start a flirty conversation with a girl over text is dead easy.

Be a good source of energy.

For some reason, people like to complain when given the chance. And it’s understandable, life is tough.

But sharing your struggles is anti-seductive! It’s not going to make you more attractive to her. Plus, she has enough headaches of her own.

Make it a rule for yourself that your texts reek of good vibes.

If a ‘man’ with a man-bun can get laid, then you can too.

Whenever she gets a text from you, it should feel like a shot of espresso.

6. Playfully tease her

This is the most important instrument in any flirt’s toolbox.


You’ll never seduce her if you don’t tease her. There simply isn’t any flirting without teasing.

Unfortunately for you, over text your teasing arsenal is limited. You’ve got no eye-rolls, playful pushes, or mimicking her silly expressions.

What you CAN do, however, is playfully mock her.

Here’s a text example from a guy who’s in the Mentoring Program.

In her Bumble profile, the girl was drinking this specific drink.

When she starts the conversation with the classic ‘Hey’, my student goes straight to a tease:

Infinitely better than the usual start of a convo. And the perfect setup for a playful conversation.

Playfully mocking something she says or does, is an easy way to flirt with a girl over text.

Just make sure to never sound insulting. Hurting her feelings can ruin everything. So tread carefully.

7. Misinterpret what she says

If you apply this tip you hit two birds with one stone.

You can tease her and sexualize the conversation at once.


Well, by purposely misinterpreting some of her texts. Here’s a text example from my own phone:

She’s just complimenting my energy in the video message I sent her. But I crank up the heat by interpreting her text in a sexual way.

And since she already liked me, it worked like a charm.

You might be thinking, “Sure, I get it, Louis. But how often can I find opportunities like this?”

Once you start looking for them, quite often actually.

Especially when you pay attention to key words like: big, fast, hard, rough, wet, deep, and so on.

8. Send voice notes

Want to know the best way to flirt with girls over text? Stop texting and send her a voice note.


Seduction becomes 69% easier if you follow my voice note tips.

Here’s a screenshot from another guy in the TextGod Mentoring Program:

Jesus, that escalated quickly. Or did it? Maybe it’s just an inevitable consequence of sending proper voice notes.

One more?!

Alright, you get it…

…Your voice is powerful when it comes to flirting with a girl over text.

And I’ve got a 30-minute guide on how precisely to do this inside my course.

But I’ll give you 5 quick voice note tips that you can instantly use:

  1. Make sure you’re in a good mood and feeling chill.
  2. Do something else at the same time. Like the dishes, walking, or petting your dog.
  3. Mind your body language. It affects your vibe and voice.
  4. Keep it light and smile often. Your smile is audible and makes the other person smile back.
  5. Use voice notes to tease. Intonation makes it clear you’re flirting.

9. Explore commonalities

Commonalities are a double-edged sword.

Yes, they can help you build a stronger connection. But if you don’t watch out, that connection will be platonic.

So as you delve into each other’s commonalities, you have to keep it flirty.

That’s why I always recommend sharing your opinions. Especially if you have strong feelings about it.

Suppose you both grew up on a farm that had chickens.

Now, I don’t know about you. But I hate being woken up by the crowing of a rooster at dawn. So I’d be sure to mention that to give her that emotional boost she’s looking for.

I still choose violence every time I see a rooster because their family robbed me of 500 hours of sleep

10. Roleplay (the non-nerdy way)

Roleplay is a ridiculously fun way to flirt with a girl over text.

Unfortunately, most men either do it wrong or don’t do it at all.

“Dear Lord, please let him be a roleplayer”

Let me show you a good example of a girl using roleplay on me!

Notice how she says ‘we’ should ‘both’ not be up at this time?

Shortly after, we start roleplaying as mother and son. As wrong as that sounds hehe.

Anyway, well played by her, and easy for me to follow up on.

This conversation turned really spicy really quick.

Thanks to some roleplay done right.

11. Use Instagram (stories)

If you’re on IG, then flirting over text just became easier.

There are about 69 reasons why you should use the app.

I’ll give you 5 right now.

(You can check all others in my Instagram article.)

  1. It does everything your favorite texting app does, and more.
  2. Dating apps can only tell so much about your personality. Your Instagram feed has no limits.
  3. Tell a girl 1 on 1 what cool things you’re doing and you’re a tryhard. Show her what you’re up to via Instagram stories and she’ll think you’re awesome.
  4. Create ‘Highlights’ to quickly set a certain vibe.
  5. Seeing her new photos and stories makes it easier to keep the conversation going.

As a bonus, here’s a girl charming me with the classic ‘cute animal + you’ combo.

I love you too.

12. End things on a high note

Flirty and playful conversation works best when used sparingly. A little goes a long way.

In fact, going longer often hurts all the attraction you built up.

In that way flirting works similarly to a theme park. If you’ve already gone on the biggest and scariest ride, all the other ones pale in comparison.

So once you feel like your conversation has peaked, it’s completely fine to bail and continue another day.

By stopping the flirty texting early, you’re making her hungry for more. And that’s exactly how you want it to be.

You want her to get a little burst of adrenaline whenever she sees your name pop up on her smartphone.

How to flirt with a girl over text – Summary

Flirting over text is all about having playful conversation that helps her escape the monotony of the everyday.

That’s why you want to avoid predictable and cliché topics. It connects you with the boring.

You want her to associate you with fun and intimacy. And that’s precisely what flirting is designed to do.

By sharing your opinions, teasing and challenging her, being suggestive, and acting like a prize, you’ll be able to spark and build attraction with any girl over text.

For extra help, click the big button below to get your free copy of my 10 Texts That Always Work. Plus, my most powerful texting technique of all, The Personality Slice.

It’d be a shame if I’m the only one using them. 😉


Louis Farfields.

And don't forget your download below ;)

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