Tinder is a great app to set up dates and meet people.
But it can be a little tricky if you’re new to it all.
This article makes it easy for you. Here come 7 practical steps on how to get dates on Tinder reliably.
- 1. Create an attractive Tinder profile
- 2. Write a Tinder bio that gets her to text you
- 3. Add more personality through Instagram
- 4. Send a first message she can’t resist
- 5. Know how to read her signs of interest
- 6. Ask her out
- 7. Turn rejection into your favor
- 8. Keep up the banter
Important: Just letting you know I am currently letting guys use my Profile Checklist for free. It's a simple fill-in-the-blanks code that shows you what to change about your profile. It's the first step to getting all the matches you want. Get it here for free.
1. Create an attractive Tinder profile
The trick to a strong Tinder profile is remarkably simple.
Yet hardly anyone gets it right.
Why?
Well, for a host of reasons.
- Most guys choose their own photos, but studies show that we’re notoriously bad at picking the photos that make the best impression.
- Using low-quality photos.
- Using too many high-quality photos, which makes you look like a tryhard.
- Using decent photos but in the wrong order.
- Relying only on selfies that tell little to nothing about your personality.
The list goes on and on.
Do you recognize yourself in some of the above bullet points?
Then you’re in trouble.
And I can guarantee that you’re losing out on lots of Tinder matches.
So where do you start?
Firstly, you want to find out all the weaknesses in your profile so that you can fix them.
The easiest way to do that is with my free Dating Profile Checklist.
You can grab it here by clicking the link.
Once you’ve flagged the sucky parts of your Tinder profile, you need to get rid of the bad and…
…replace it with the good.
What’s ‘good’ for your Tinder profile?
All the stuff that I talk about in these articles of mine:
And the stuff I talk about in this video:
2. Write a Tinder bio that gets her to text you
If guys are bad at choosing photos for their Tinder profile, then guys are hideously incompetent at writing a Tinder bio.
Yes, it’s really that bad.
Just get a load of this.
Now, you probably wouldn’t ever write anything like that. I know.
You’re likely writing the same stuff every guy does.
And if it’s not some mix of flag and coffee emojis, it’ll probably be a joke or inspirational quote you plucked from the internet.
The problem?
Almost every dude is doing the same.
Which makes it uninteresting and bad.
So what IS a good Tinder bio?
- Something short (so that it’s difficult to hate).
- Something emotionally stimulating.
- Something that’s easy to respond to.
What does that look like?
Something a little more like this:
But I think we can do better. Largely because it’s not something that’s easily replied to.
So if we want to tick ALL the three boxes, we get a bio like this:
Olives taste like hot garbage. Change my mind.
This one’s great because it’s an opinion that goes against the mainstream AND it includes a call to action.
Another bio.
Looking for a girl who won’t get upset when I beat her at Scrabble.
The last bio is especially powerful because it challenges her.
And if she’s the type to rise to the occasion, she’ll definitely text you first after matching.
Which is pretty much all you want your bio to do. That and giving her something to talk about halfway through the Tinder convo.
3. Add more personality through Instagram
Instagram and Spotify can potentially solve a HUGE Tinder problem of yours.
You see, most guys fall into the classic online dating trap of…
…focusing too much on their looks.
Most people reckon, “How can being too attractive be a bad thing?”
But it CAN be a bad thing if you think attraction only comes from appearances.
I’ve talked to girls at length about the world’s most handsome men and more than a few girls said they DID NOT find these Hollywood stars attractive.
Did that just make your head explode?
No worries. I’ll wait for you to put it back together.
The reason why some girls see Ryan Gosling as a wet dream and other women see him as repulsive is because much of female attraction is based on…
…vibes!
A handsome face with the wrong vibes is ugly. And a mediocre face with the right vibes is attractive.
What does any of this have to do with Instagram or Spotify?
Because Instagram and Spotify are an easy way to add vibes and personality to your profile.
One shows your taste in music and the other gives people a peek into your personal everyday life.
Are Instagram and Spotify necessary?
Nope.
Not if you add enough personality through your regular Tinder photos.
More on that here.
4. Send a first message she can’t resist
Even if you get 100+ matches a day, that’s still meaningless if you don’t know how to break the ice.
Send the wrong first text and she probably won’t reply.
Send a horrible first message and she may even unmatch you.
What I see dudes do wrong most is without a doubt starting Tinder convos on a bad note.
Like this:
Again, I picked an especially bad opener for fun.
A line that you likely wouldn’t send.
So let me show you something that’s probably more in tune with your tastes:
The classic ‘Hey’ and its many variations.
Simple. And completely garbage at getting replies.
Why?
Because everyone is telling her the same!
Which wouldn’t be bad if it was actually fun.
But it’s not.
In fact, it’s like nuclear waste. If given a choice, no girl wants to get near it.
After all, if you say ‘Hey’ you’ll probably also go:
- How are you?
- What are you up to?
- What do you do for work?
A conversation she’s had a million times.
So what do you do instead?
You come up with a personalized opener that she’s never seen before.
Which may sound a little difficult, which is why I’ve explained exactly how to do it here:
Do you have a new match that you want to talk to right now?
No worries.
Here’s an opener that she can’t resist. Just click the link and grab my strongest opener.
5. Know how to read her signs of interest
Most guys sabotage their chances of getting a Tinder date by doing this.
Incessant yapping about nothing.
When I mention this to my new mentees on the TextGod Mentoring Program I often get confused looks.
“If I shouldn’t be chit-chatting, what should I be doing Louis?”
Simple.
You should be moving toward the date.
Basically, you want your every text to get her a little more interested in seeing you.
You can that in a million and one ways, so I won’t dive too deep into that. But I do want to give you some idea of what messages to send.
Think of sending her texts that:
- Build trust.
- Make you fun to talk to.
- Say you’re kind.
- Make her feel desired.
- Show you’re a man with standards.
Notice that none of these texts are about exchanging facts and getting to know her better.
It’s not something you need to avoid. But it’s not something you need to focus on either.
Getting to know her will happen naturally if you enjoy yourself and follow your curiosity.
If you need help coming up with stuff to talk about, check out these articles:
“Louis, does this mean I should always consider if my texts are leading toward the date?”
No. It’ll make chatting with her too mechanical.
Instead, focus on fun and look for signs of interest so you know what’s working.
That way you can easily see if she’s ready for the date.
Do you find it difficult to recognize signs of interest?
No worries, I noted the most frequent ones and put them in an article for you.
Check it out here:
6. Ask her out
We’ve come to the most crucial part of Tinder dating.
How to ask your Tinder match out on a date.
If you don’t get this right all the hours you spent texting will have been for nothing.
Because if you do it poorly, she may not even text you back.
Does that stress you out?
Chill out, buddy. Because I’m going to make this very easy for you.
Do you know why most guys suck at setting up dates?
Because they beat around the bush, or phrase the date request as if they’re begging for change.
Blegh.
That reeks of insecurity.
What’s the best way to ask a woman out?
Telling her what you’d like to do and giving her two options for when.
This gorgeous girl from Hinge confirms it.
So what does a good ‘ask her out’ text look like? It includes WHAT and WHEN.
First, you tell her WHAT you’d like to do.
After she replies, tell her WHEN you’d like to take her out.
There you have it.
Short and sweet, but highly effective.
Hint: Please don’t copy-paste the above line and take your Tinder date to a place that doesn’t make macchiatos. Then you’ll just look foolish. So tailor make it to your favorite date venue.
7. Turn rejection into your favor
The moment that can turn the toughest men into scared little boys…
…she rejects the date.
She can refuse in several ways.
Let’s start with the worst scenario.
Is this awful?
No.
A mild annoyance at worst. All this means is that you want to increase your attraction and become more trustworthy.
That usually happens naturally by texting more.
Now for the second scenario.
Which isn’t too crazy an answer.
Yet I often see my clients get completely flustered by it.
Their usual response is to forget all date talk and switch to another subject.
When asked why they switched subjects my clients said, “She didn’t tell me when she was available so I took that as a sign that she wasn’t ready yet.”
But that was the wrong conclusion.
Even if a woman wants to go out with you, she’ll rarely give you her schedule.
Instead, she’ll wait for YOU to take the lead.
So what’s a good reply?
This:
It’s confident, direct and playful.
Excellent.
If she likes you, she’ll definitely tell you when you can take her out.
8. Keep up the banter
Just because you set up the date doesn’t mean that you want to go silent.
Otherwise, you’ll lose all momentum.
And she might feel ‘weird’ about seeing someone that she hasn’t even got a text from in over a week.
Makes sense, right?
So always keep up the texting.
“But Louis, what do I say now that we’ve already set up the date? I don’t know what to talk about.”
No problem.
I have a big digital bag of goodies that will give you all you need. Especially my 10 Texts that Always Work and my ‘personality slice’ seminar.
These two gifts will get her addicted to your texts and make sure she shows up on your date.
Enjoy.
Blessings,
Louis Farfields
And don't forget your download below ;)
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