How To Tinder In New York: NYC’s Ultimate Tinder Guide

You’re already in NYC or about to visit the Apple.

And you want to meet new people.

Perhaps you’re looking for love, a brief but passionate affair, or just a one-night stand.

Whatever your goal, you want to know how to Tinder in New York.

Good job, because you just found NYC’s Ultimate Tinder Guide.

Read on and get:

  • 5 Reasons why you don’t want to miss out on Tinder in NYC
  • 6 Most popular alternative dating apps to find your specific type
  • 2 Conversational mistakes that can get you unmatched
  • 1 Texting tip that changes her from “He’s interesting” to “I want to meet him”
  • 6 Dating rules that all New Yorkers live by
  • And 7 unique date ideas to impress your date

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Why Tinder in New York rules

You’re about to discover 5 reasons why NYC is the Mecca for sexual deviants Tinder users.

1.   NYC is hella big

Sure that means a lot of people, but that’s not the point.

Thanks to its immense size, New York doesn’t have one large community.

Instead, it has a bajillion subcultures.

And if you can’t find your subculture, you stick to yourself.

With enough time, you can obviously find your perfect NY tribe.

But here’s the kicker.

Of the 8.6 million residents that now live in NYC, over 60% was born outside New York State.

And only a fraction of the people who were born inside New York State, were raised in New York City.

In short, NYC barely has any genuine New Yorkers.

Almost all the city’s inhabitants came to the Apple after high school or college.

My long-winded point?

Most young adult New Yorkers are relatively new and looking to get to know people.

So they turn to Tinder…

…with the intention to meet up.

No fishing for validation, just a genuine desire to talk face to face with a cool person.

2.   New Yorkers are more diverse than the color wheel

Once upon a time, New York was the main port of America.

Were you an overseas foreigner looking for a new life in the US?

Then you had to go through New York.

Most immigrants liked what they saw and stayed put.

And over time they brought in other relatives from the motherland.

Soon you had entire blocks filled with immigrants of the same background.

Dominicans, Chinese, Guyanese, Jewish, Russians, Irish, Italians, Indians…

Every group maintained its culture.

Adding to New York City’s diversity.

Today, NYC still attracts people from all walks of life.

Eccentric artists, ambitious businesswomen, and highly specialized coffee gurus.

New Yorkers are generally pretty different.

So be sure not to bore them with bland Tinder texts. More on that later.

3.   New Yorkers don’t get the next Tinder error

If you swipe outside NYC, you may sometimes get the next message:

What does that mean?

You’ve reached the end of your Tinder stack.

“The Tinder what?”

When you hop on Tinder, the app gives you a big pile of profiles to swipe through. Similar to a deck of cards.

Reaching the end of the deck means you have nobody left to swipe. Texting your matches, however, is still possible.

Holy Tip:

Do your texts sometimes get no reply?

Or do you sometimes stare at her message without any idea how to respond?

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NYC has such a large influx of tourists and new Tinder users, you’ll never reach the end of your Tinder stack.

Did you get the “There’s no one new around you” message?

You may have been shadowbanned.

4.   New York is a thirsty man’s paradise

American or not, dating in NYC may be a shock to your foreign system.

Firstly, NYC’s gender ratio is totally lopsided.

In most parts of the world, it’s normal for men to chase and seduce women.

But not in the Big Apple.

Single women outnumber single men by more than 200,000.

What does that mean?

Men have the pick of the litter.

Armed with the power of abundance, men shifted the dating norm into…


Now don’t get it twisted.

The Tinder hookup norm doesn’t mean people don’t want relationships or marriage, only that sex isn’t that big of a deal.

A spicy evening in the bedroom can still turn into a long-term romance.

5.   New York is date venue galore

Without delving too deep, NYC has mad date venues.

You’ve got merry-go-rounds, ice rinks, the latest hip restaurant, the best comedy joints, museums, live concerts, botanical gardens…

The list goes on and on.

We’ll discuss exactly what locations and activities will impress your Tinder date later.

First, we’re going to talk about…

The best 5 Tinder alternatives in New York

“Are you saying I need more than Tinder???”

‘Need’ is a strong word, so let me phrase it like this.

Tinder alone will match you with lots of great women and get you more women than in an Axe commercial, but…

…you may want to cast a wider net.

You see, although Tinder can lead to casual flings or long-lasting relationships, the most popular dating app suffers from an image problem.

Almost everyone sees Tinder as the best dating app for casual sex.

That’s not a problem, unless you want something else. Like a relationship, or a sophisticated woman who is into self-development.

Again, you can find both on Tinder.

But it may take a while to find her.

So if you want a specific type of woman, you want to add another popular dating app into the mix.

Here come 5 of the best dating app alternatives to Tinder.

#1 Bristlr

Bristlr is the most unique and weird dating app of the bunch.

So why did it make the list?

Firstly, let me explain what Bristlr is.

It’s a dating app designed for men with extraordinary facial hair and the women that love them.

Sound cooky?

Sure, but it works.

Mostly because many New York women can’t get enough of men with brushes for faces.

Do you like to rock a thick moustache or beard?

Definitely give Bristlr a try.

Because you’re exactly her type, meeting up will be easy.

#2 Happn

Happn solves one of NYC’s biggest problems.


The Big Apple has 5 huge regions, called boroughs.

Dating someone from another borough can sometimes feel like you’re in a long-distance relationship.

To prevent dating a girl that lives on the other side of town, Happn exclusively matches you with women that you crossed paths with.


If a cutie walks by you in a radius of 850 feet (250 meters), she’s automatically put into your Happn feed.

IMPORTANT: for her to appear in your feed, she obviously needs Happn too.

Do you both like each other?

Then it’s a match and you can send the first message.

#3 Hinge

Hinge is newer, but is likely to become one of the most popular dating apps.

As with any dating apps looking to break into the dating market, Hinge has a unique hook.

Instead of random strangers, you only match with people who have mutual Facebook friends.

The idea is that your social circle is filled with like-minded people.

And if your match shares the same opinions as you, the odds of sparks on the date go up.

So do you prefer more familiarity?

Hinge is for you.

Do keep in mind that Hinge only gives you about 20 potential matches per day.

Which isn’t a problem if you fish in multiple digital dating ponds.

#4 The League

Not to be mistaken with League of Legends, The League is an exclusive dating app.

And essentially an American copy of the Dutch Inner Circle.

What sets League apart is its exclusivity.

Only well-groomed, highly-educated people are given access.

While the creators won’t ever say it publically…

…you won’t be let in without first-rate grooming and photos.

Plus, it helps if you have a well-established career.

So expect to find women who are roughly in their late 20s to early 30s.

Do you want to date the cream of the crop?

Look no further and download League.

#5 Bumble

A female-friendly dating app that’s almost identical to Tinder.

What keeps Bumble from being crushed by the top dating apps?

A simple but highly demanded change:

Women text first.

Now the ladies don’t have to worry about raunchy and out of place openers from men.

Plus, the guys no longer have to worry about the first text.

In theory.

Turns out that women aren’t much better at being original than us men. But that’s a subject for another day.

Because Bumble empowers women to go first, the app attracts a very different audience from Tinder.

Generally speaking the women on Bumble are highly educated, in search for a relationship, and in their mid to late 20s.

Looking for something more serious or long-term?

Check out Bumble.

Which brings us to the last popular dating app of the list…

#6 OkCupid

Originally a dating site, it now also has an app.

The big reason to go for OkCupid?

It doesn’t focus on swiping faces.

Instead of looks, OkCupid puts the spotlight on personality.

How does the app know what you’re like?

By giving you a light-hearted list of questions.

Once you upload your answers, the algorithm finds you people who share your opinions.

So you won’t ever match with a hottie whose personality you just can’t stand.

Most users are between 25 and 34 and are usually looking for something lasting.

And if political views are important to you, expect to mostly find lefties.

With the dating apps out of the way, we can dive into…

3 Quick convo tips for Tinder in NYC

You’ll now get two quick tips on what to avoid, and another on how to keep her interested over text.

1.   What you want to avoid pt. 1

If there is one thing you want to avoid in your conversations, it’s this…

I live in Brooklyn

Great, I haven’t been to Brooklyn yet. You can be my tour guide!

Can you spot what’s wrong with the last text?

Firstly, she gets that request all the time from all the tourists and expats traveling to New York. Which makes her feel like a travel agent.

Secondly, by asking her to show you around, you give her the reigns of the relationship.

Now she’s the leader and you’re the follower.

To be fair, that works in some relationships.

But when it comes to seduction, it’s generally the woman that wants to be led. Usually, women prefer to be taken out on a date instead of showing you around.

When you give your Tinder date the leadership role, she usually experiences it as a burden. Which in turn kills her attraction for you.

2.   What you want to avoid pt. 2

Another attraction killer you want to avoid is this:


While I could give you a million tips on how to fight off boredom and create attraction…

…I’m going to keep it simple.

Rather than focus on polite chit-chat that goes nowhere, emphasize emotion.

“Sounds great, Louis. There’s just one problem. How the heck do I emphasize emotion?”

Great question, my curious friend.

And here’s your answer:

You tickle her senses.

Instead of facts… think feelings, sounds, images, smells, and flavors.

The reason why is straightforward.

Which of the two next sentences evokes more emotion?

I’m in Paris

Try not to be jealous. I just climbed the metal steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower and watched the sun say its last goodbye before it sunk down the horizon

Obviously the second.

If you want to get a lot of dates on Tinder, remember this:

The reason a girl wants to meet up with you almost ENTIRELY depends on how you made her feel.

She doesn’t care one bit about what you actually talked about.

Just look at this pointless but GREAT Tinder conversation.

Our Tinder pal only talked about food and got the next response:

God. Ur gonna make me splooge

If that doesn’t prove that tickling her senses creates attraction, I don’t know what else to tell you.

New York dating etiquette

Forget what you know about dating etiquette, New York is playing a totally different game.

Let’s get into it.

1.   NYC is stuck in x8

If you’re a frequent flyer, you’ve been to fast-paced cities before.

But New York takes it up a notch.

When dating girls in cities like London, it’s normal to plan your dates in advance. Usually about a week before date day.

Not in New York.

The closer you get to Manhattan, the quicker life gets.

Even something as simple as grocery shopping is treated as a life and death situation.

People rush into the shops, dash through the aisles to fill their carts, and bag their goods in the blink of an eye.

In short, New Yorkers are used to quick and agile lifestyles.

So plan your dates no later than two days ahead.

Better still, try to plan your dates on the same day. The longer the time between texting and meeting, the bigger the odds she’ll forget about you in fast-paced NYC.

2.   Casual dates run expensive

Look, I’m anything but a cheapskate.

I treat my friends and dates like royalty…

…Except when I’m in New York City.

A simple cocktail usually runs you $18.

This also explains the Big Apple’s hook-up culture: people don’t want to break the bank for a shot at romance and so often prefer to meet at home.

That said, you can still take your Tinder match on a cool date.

You just have to be creative.

  • Bryant Park yearly hosts more than 1,000 free activities. Frome ice skating, to yoga classes
  • Lots of New York museums are free. Like the American Folk Art Museum, Bronx Museum of the Arts, and the Queens Botanical Garden to name a few
  • The cooler museums let you pay whatever price you can afford. Such as the Museum of Natural History and Brooklyn Museum
  • If the weather’s nice, go (urban) picnicking

3.   Know your public

The LGBTQ scene plays a big role in New York.

Almost all women, straight or not, are social justice warriors.

Even when said jokingly, words like ‘fag’ and ‘retarded’ are HUGE no-no’s.

So watch your language.

4.   Fear of missing out is a big deal

Back in the day, it was normal to date one person at a time.

And in the more rural parts of Europe and the US, that’s still the norm.

But Tinder has spoiled us.

Even when you’ve just met a great person, but unlock your phone to see five new Tinder matches…

…you get curious about your new love interests.

The majority of New Yorkers are in a constant state of curiosity and like to date multiple people at the same time.

Not because the men and women are necessarily players. But because they’re “trying out” different people to find which person is the One.

Although some really do have no intention to commit.

The point is, don’t expect exclusivity from everyone you meet.

5.   The ghostbusters are no longer in town

Setting up new dates in New York is relatively easy.

You’ll meet lots of beautiful women in no time.

But odds are you won’t see them again.

Thanks to busy work schedules, frequent business trips, and the constant influx of new people… it’s difficult to build a strong build with anyone.

Although you may be used to slowly getting intimate with someone, that’s not how it works in the Apple.

Ghosting is a common occurrence.

6.   The thoughts on sex

If you made it this far, you should know how a New Yorker thinks about sex.

It’s almost as normal as shaking hands.

That’s not to say that every date guarantees sex.

Chemistry and attraction always play a critical role.

But if she likes you, sex isn’t far away.

Even the introverts and highly educated don’t make a big deal out of bedroom yoga.

New Yorkers are more open-minded than most.

Which is only natural.

Nobody will find out about your sexual escapades when you’re living inside a jam-packed metropolis.

Best date locations in New York City

If you’re in a city where you can get 5+ dates a week, you want to know date activities that won’t cost you an extra mortgage.

Besides, the dinner-and-drinks date is played out.

If you want to make a good first impression on your date, you want to give her a unique experience.

And as it so happens, most of these experiences are easy on your bank account.

Date idea #1: Picnic in Central Park

The streets of Manhattan are always buzzing with activity and don’t exactly scream romance.

In the heart of all the chaos lies New York’s oasis of tranquility, Central Park.

With over 840 acres of green, you almost forget you’re in one of the world’s most populated cities.

In the spring and summertime, a picnic is a great idea for a first date.

Date idea #2: Stroll through New York’s finest museums

Many museums in New York are pay-as-you-wish, or have special days and time windows when the entry fee is waived.

Gawking at thousands of year old art for free is a steal.

And if your date is a local, she probably hasn’t been since high school.

So your museum trip will definitely make an impact.

Date idea #3: Watch the sunset from the Brooklyn Bridge

The Brooklyn Bridge is almost 1,600 feet long (483 m) and offers a great view of the city.

And is a magnet for lovebirds.

Lovers from all over the world come to the bridge to memorialize their everlasting love with a ‘love lock’. The romantic cliché where a couple hooks on a lock to a railing and throws away the key.

(Maybe it’s my fear of being trapped in a relationship… but why are locks the thing that symbolizes relationships? I just don’t get it.)

If you walk your date across the bridge at sundown, the love locks combined with the gold and amber glow of the sun, make for a super romantic moment.

And a great moment to kiss your date.

Date idea #4: Row down the Hudson

From Spring until early Autumn, Downtown Boathouse offers you a free kayak to paddle down the Hudson.

Down the entire Hudson is a bit of an exaggeration.

You can’t leave the bay and have to come back in 20 minutes.

All the same, the activity makes for a good date.

Date idea #5: Glide across the winter ice

With all the engagement proposals, the big three Manhattan ice rinks seem like the ultimate romantic experience.

So when the temperature drops, head to Central Park, Winter Village, or Rockefeller Center and get your skate on.

Date idea #6: Heckle comedians at an open mic

All the great comedy legends started at the bottom…

…they started at open mics.

The most known comedy club is called Comedy Cellar.

Unlike the above options, it does cost a few bucks.

So perhaps reserve this date for a girl you want to keep around.

Other honorable mentions are:

Date idea #7: Titillate her senses at a flea market

If your date prefers to meet under the sun, take her to one of New York’s many flea markets.

Which are open ALL year round.

Other cool places that are open to the public are food markets and city-sponsored festivals.

The best way to keep track of such events is by checking the NYC Parks Events Calendar.

With over 7 date ideas, you’re more than ready to show your New York Tinder date a good time.

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Enjoy, bro.

Louis Farfields

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