Online Dating Coach
Louis Farfields
You’ve got a Tinder match you’re interested in. And of course, you’d love to go on a date.
There’s just one problem… a whole bunch of texting has to be done to get there. And you’re not too confident in your Tinder texting skills.
No worries, in this article you get all the Tinder conversation tips you need. Start clearing your schedule, you’ll have a date coming up soon!
In this article:More...Important: I know you're sometimes unsure what to text. So I've put together 10 Texts That Always Work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free. Just a small gift to get you started. Enjoy! Click here to get them.
Note, if you’re looking for opening lines or pick up lines, check those articles.
How to text on Tinder
Let’s start by discussing how to talk to girls on Tinder.
The biggest mistake most guys make is this: They think that if you have a friendly conversation for long enough, a girl will spontaneously start liking them.
You know why they think this? Because they’re already attracted to her based on her Tinder profile pics. So they don’t need anything else.
However, most women aren’t fully attracted based on just your looks. They need attractive conversation to really feel it.
That’s where the TextGod formula comes in:
She needs to feel attracted to you due to your playful and flirty vibes. She needs to trust you, to make sure it’s safe to meet up and you’re not weird or dangerous. And There has to be an investment balance, meaning she has to invest as much as you into the conversation. An imbalance signals the more invested person is too eager.
When you do this well enough, you’ll pass her personal date threshold, which indicates how quickly she tends to go on dates.
Most of the guys I coach are great at building trust. But just trust is a one-way ticket to the friend zone. You need to learn how to build attraction.
How to keep a Tinder conversation going
So how do you keep a Tinder conversation going, and how do you build attraction?
Remember what Tinder is all about: making someone excited to meet you. And the best way to do that is by showing off your personality in a fun way.
If your match isn’t feeling anything, your conversation will get boring quickly. So you keep your Tinder conversation going by making ‘having fun’ your main goal, instead of just exchanging info.
That’s where the Pendulum effect comes in.
You want to switch continuously between showing interest and creating emotional spikes (being a challenge). This is the right and healthy way of flirting.
If you’re stuck in showing interest and building rapport, you’re in the friend zone.
However, if you keep spiking her, you’re in the creeper zone. You’re fun, but she doesn’t trust you. There’s zero connection.
I've put together 10 Texts that always work. Copy-paste lines that instantly attract her and make her crave your attention. They work and they are free.
Get them for free!What to talk about on Tinder
Okay, so what do you actually talk about? What do you say to a girl on Tinder?
You can basically talk about anything. The trick is how you talk about them. Most people talk just to exchange information. That might sound logical, but it’s anything but.
Because your Tinder match doesn’t feel anything.
That’s why you should focus on the vibe of the conversation. How can you ask a question or talk about something and actually make things more fun?
Check out this list of topics to talk about on Tinder.
And what about questions to ask? Questions are a seemingly logical way to progress a conversation. However, a question is usually a request for the other to invest. And quite often the question itself is also boring.
A great way to make questions work is by turning them into statements: Small accusations or observations to tease her.
Check some of the best Tinder questions here.
Its psychologically irresistible to ignore. I call it the Clickbait-Opener. And I made a free video with screen-shot examples on how to use it.
Get it for free!How to flirt on Tinder
Up next is how to flirt on Tinder. How do you create that playful and attractive vibe?
Flirting is the subtle art of showing interest in a playful and challenging way. You show interest and at the same time, you’re a challenge.
Typical flirting involves teasing or disapproving her in a fun and playful way, combined with occasionally rewarding things she says.
Flirting achieves several things:
- It triggers the right emotions.
- It’s fun and playful.
- It shows interest without being needy or try-hard.
- It challenges the other person to try and win you over.
Flirting is a dance between two people. If it’s not reciprocated, it doesn’t work. It becomes creepy or weird.
One simple way to add some fun to your conversations or make it more flirty, is by sending GIFs on Tinder.
I'm currently letting guys use my personal Profile Checklist for free. It'll turn your boring profile into a magnetic and attractive eye-catcher.
Get it for free!How to ask for her number on Tinder
So you’ve been texting for a bit and now it’s time to ask for her number on Tinder. But how?
First, wait for the right moment. The best moment to ask for a number is on a high. You don’t have to wait for days and days to ask for her number. But as soon as you’re having serious fun, ask for her number. Don’t wait for a dull moment.
The best way to ask, is to not ask but to assume.
“Hey, I’m off but text me here: [number]. It’s easier.”
How to ask a girl for a date on Tinder
Up next is how to ask a girl out on Tinder.
Again, you want to wait for an emotional high. That’s the best moment to ask her out.
Now you want to assume the date. Don’t ask if she maybe might want to consider going on a date with you ever. Just tell her you two should meet up.
- “There’s a cat cafe that I’ve been dying to go to. We should go!”
- “Let’s grab tacos this week. I need to critique your guac to pico ratios.”
- “Wine, flaming hot takis, and people watching on Sunday?”
That’s how you get dates on Tinder.
How to get laid on Tinder
Another common question: What if you’re not that serious but just want to hook up on Tinder? What’s the best strategy?
It’s not that different actually. The biggest mistake guys who just want to get lucky make is that they text to sexually. This only puts your Tinder match off.
You just want to focus a bit more on attraction than on trust (remember the TextGod Formula above?). And be honest about what you’re looking for on Tinder, without being to explicit about it.
If you do that, and make sure your Tinder profile and bio don’t shout ‘relationship’, you’re good to go. If you have a great fun vibe going and aren’t lying about your intentions, propose a meet-up and see where it goes from there.